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Original poster

Is everyone still following the rules?

165 replies

doireallyneedaname · 05/02/2021 15:53

We have been since March. Over the top, my partner would say. Nobody we know has been, apart from the odd CEV friend.

I’m at the end of my tether though. Partner wants one year old to be able to see the family. I have refused for months, and before that it was the odd fleeting visit outside. He says we are the danger to his parents, not them to us - but in reality we don’t see anyone or do anything and they are still working etc, so despite their age - we are not the danger.

Still, I’m tempted to visit. I just don’t know anymore.

Is anyone following the rules 100%? I should add I have stuck to them for fear of Covid, but again I’m told I’m overly cautious being in my early 30’s.

OP posts:
ChocOrange1 · 06/02/2021 06:04

@doireallyneedaname

Right you are, apologies! I just assumed since our government said we are in a lock down that we were actually in a ... lock down.
Incidentally, children under 5 are not included in the 1 on 1 meet ups. So your husband could meet his mum for a walk and take your baby, and be well within the rules. The risk to you all would be minuscule.

"Lockdown" is a made up term, it doesnt have a specific definition that says "it's only a lockdown if you cant see any single person" or "it's only a lockdown if The Range is shut".

Hopefully your comment is based on embarrassment. I imagine you've been sneering at people through the curtains and getting cross that people are put exercising with others, and assuming that they're all breaking the rules and you're the only one following them.

Individuals meeting outside, 1 on 1 and socially distanced, is NOT going to have a big impact on the spread of covid. It will however have a big impact on mental health of the nation.

ChocOrange1 · 06/02/2021 06:07

@doireallyneedaname

I’ve actually been told by several healthcare practitioners that babies don’t actually need to socialise until 2 or 3, and any lack of socialisation with others before then doesn’t make a difference to them.
Babies don't need to actively play with other children until age 2 (e.g. childcare settings, playgroup are mainly for the mums) but seeing other people, making eye contact and learning to smile at people, becoming familiar with family members and friends outside their immediate home definitely is necessary.

I guess recently healthcare practitioners have been saying that children dont need it, to comfort concerned parents who haven't been able to socialise with their child.

Chattercino · 06/02/2021 06:46

Hmm. Technically we aren't breaking any rules, but I do take my children to the playground most days and more often than not, there are other families there who we know and the children end up playing football together and I chat (at a distance) to the other mums. Is that illegal? I think it's so important for all of our mental health.

I also go for 1:1 walks with friends, which we are allowed to do.

NiknicK · 06/02/2021 07:12

I’ve followed the rules 100%. No slips ups, not one, but I’m close to being done with all of this. Once me, my dh, my parents and dsis have all had our second vaccinations (all within the next 6-8 weeks) that is our cut off. I haven’t so much as been for a walk outside with them, only with my dh and dc. I have 2dc. Eldest is 18 and really low not knowing
what will happen with his A levels and panicking he won’t get into uni despite pre lockdown having amazing grades. My youngest is Autistic and despite me wfh and him going to a specialist school he cannot attend at present due to the school closing. The closest he’s been to any family members in months is through a window or seeing them at the bottom of our drive away. I know people say that we are all in the same boat blah blah blah but actually we are not. Everyone has experienced lockdown differently and for us our MH has suffered massively. I’ve stuck to the rules resentfully and reluctantly throughout but I can’t take it anymore. Once the 3 weeks have passed following our second vaccinations I will be meeting up with my family. I’ve put other people first all the way through this but sod it. I’m going to be selfish and actually live my life why I still can.

RosieLemonade · 06/02/2021 07:49

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Popsy321 · 06/02/2021 07:53

@doireallyneedaname

Right you are, apologies! I just assumed since our government said we are in a lock down that we were actually in a ... lock down.
Or you could read the rules, rather than (wrongly) assume anything and confidently state incorrect 'facts'.
OverTheRainbow88 · 06/02/2021 07:57

@doireallyneedaname

My kids are the most sociable beings and thrive of other kids and other adults. The days they go to nursery they literally come out on a high. By 13 months old my youngest was playing with other kids, copying them, repeating their words, running over saying hi and their name. When we go to the playground and they don’t know people to play with it’s harder work getting them to run around, when they know someone there they run around chasing them and chatting for hours on end.

septemberismyfavouritemonth · 06/02/2021 07:59

I'm letting my 9 yo only child see friends indoors. Half his class are at school every day.

Original poster
doireallyneedaname · 06/02/2021 08:00

I have no idea why some people have decided to attack me and suggest my baby is somehow being “damaged” due to us keeping safe.

As it goes, my family have all commented on how lively and happy my baby is in comparison to how my now grown up relatives were at the same age. He is thriving socially and has benefitted in other ways as he’s had both his parents at home for the best part of a year. We go out for long walks every day and he spends time in nature. How many people could have said that before lockdown?

OP posts:
Original poster
doireallyneedaname · 06/02/2021 08:03

This is the one thing about lockdown I never understood. When I saw kids hanging out in groups outside, it was impossible to understand why that was against the rules when they were together in school beforehand.

OP posts:
ginsparkles · 06/02/2021 08:03

We are. Mum is in our bubble and she's the only person that's been in our house since before the November lockdown. DH is at work, with minimal staff and all rules in place. I go to the shop I work at twice a week and am home the rest of the time. I have met one friend for a walk once a week through this lockdown.

The only rule breaks will be taking my daughter to deliver her best friends birthday present today, and we are travelling a fair way to visit my very ill Dad in a few days time. Aside from these two breaks, we are following all the rules.

Tyranttoddler · 06/02/2021 08:03

So you're happy with your choices then? So that's fine. Confused by the purpose of the thread.

Quartz2208 · 06/02/2021 08:05

Because your thread started to be about your partner wanting him to see family

There are options within the rules - including forming a bubble - that would allow for this quite easily that you don’t want

And that seems to be driven by fear not sticking to the rules

Original poster
doireallyneedaname · 06/02/2021 08:06

I wouldn’t say I’m “happy” - I am suffering because of my choices, but I don’t think my baby is in the slightest.

OP posts:
Smarshian · 06/02/2021 08:11

I’m exercising more than once a day. I am meeting a friend in their house or mine once a week. Will go for a walk with my mum and step dad tomorrow rather than just one of them. I have only started doing these things in the last 3 weeks because my mental health has been decimated and I have assessed it as being low risk (my friend and her family have all already had COVID and my mum and step dad have now had their vaccine).

dogsaremypeople · 06/02/2021 08:11

OP how can you start a post about everyone sticking to the rules when you don't even know the bloody rules 🙄

Original poster
doireallyneedaname · 06/02/2021 08:15

Hmm I am aware of most of the rules, I just didn’t realise it was within them that you could meet a different person every day for a walk. Seems stupid to me as most people won’t social distance when they do this.

From the start of the pandemic I’ve done what felt safe and that coincided with most of the rules in place. I haven’t read the latest ones.

OP posts:
Quartz2208 · 06/02/2021 08:16

So what do you want from this? You are going beyond the rules due to fear and I think are going to find April/May tricky when it starts to

And there have been times in this where the rules have allowed splashing about in pools, gatherings in gardens etc that you haven’t moved for

Original poster
doireallyneedaname · 06/02/2021 08:18

I wanted to hear from likeminded individuals who have stuck to the rules for fear of covid who may now be feeling like they’ll just take their chances.

OP posts:
OverTheRainbow88 · 06/02/2021 08:22

@doireallyneedaname

You’ve said yourself you’ve been over the top, and that you’re at the end of your tether... that says it all

It’s also unfair on your OH, you sound controlling.

Maybe you’ve got post natal anxiety?

Quartz2208 · 06/02/2021 08:25

Oh OP that is very different because it isnt about following the rules at all - you have created your own set of rules due to fear and are scared to break them. You arent alone in this but it is a completely different question.

Because over the past year I have stuck to the rules but at different times been able to do different things (though DH still managed to get COVID whilst following the rules)

OllietheOwl · 06/02/2021 08:27

I think you’re being too overly cautious OP. The risk of Covid for you and your family is so small. The benefits of having some interaction for you and your baby would far, far outweigh the risk imo.
I’m in the same boat as you - in my 30’s with a young family. DD is 3 and my baby DS is nearly 1. The first lockdown was pure hell and I saw a marked difference in my DD’s behaviour from having no social interaction. As soon as she could go back to nursery she went back. I let her play in parks/play areas with other kids as again, her mental health trumps the Covid risk imo.
I stick to the rules as best as I can but I have bubbled up with my parents so my son has some other interaction. We just go with the guidance - in December when infections were increasing we didn’t meet for a month or so. Now, when infections are decreasing I’m making plans to go over there again. Just because you’re in a bubble doesn’t mean you have to see them all the time, but it gives you the option.
I meet people outside for walks frequently too so DS is always seeing different faces.

ChipsAreLife · 06/02/2021 08:28

I'm not sure your baby can be 'thriving socially' if it's just you and your DH.

Yes we've followed the rules, but I'm getting to breaking point now. We have a five month old who has barely met family, a reception aged child who has hugely regressed in the last year and a Y1 child that cries everyday because she misses her friends and family.

We are in bubble with MIL as she's on her own and provides childcare support when I work, but I miss my family dreadfully.

I will probably follow until March and then start to 'bump' into people at the park. At the moment I'm more worried about having a breakdown with all thats on my plate than catching Covid.

Derbee · 06/02/2021 08:31

@LilyPond2

Have just checked the guidance and it says in England you can form a support bubble if your baby was under one on 2 December 2020.
I think you are being silly to be honest, and I would be seeing them.
OllietheOwl · 06/02/2021 08:31

Oh and last summer I went to Cornwall with my parents. And we went on a big camping trip with friends (all within rules at the time). So yes, DS has had lots of interaction with people this past year.

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