I'm really struggling today.

[GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal]

The despair seems to have settled on me like a black cloud. I've tried so hard all through this to keep my own and everyone's spirits up, to keep on top of homeschooling, to cook nice meals, to find ways to bring at least a little joy and pleasure into everyone's lives, and I just can't do it anymore.

Everything seems hopeless.

I felt like this last week - just completely done. This week I’m back to moderately miserable but plodding on. I suppose I’m just saying that for me at least it’s not linear. I felt last week like I’d continue to feel worse until I had to throw myself off something.

What if you’ve already had the home disco before 8am?

I know people are being kind by making these sorts of suggestions, but it’s kind of teaching your grandmother to suck eggs by this point. I have a toddler and a baby, my husband works out of the house five days a week. I know exactly how to fake enthusiasm for walks, how to tog us all up for all weathers, activities at home, quiet time, etc. I don’t need suggestions. I don’t need to count my blessings (I am good at it). I need contrast in my life and somewhere indoors to take my children that isn’t our house.

I feel the same.

I do have a few things planned so I’ve got stuff to look forward to.

I’m in a long distance relationship and he’s booked an air b&b in March to come and stay here. I haven’t seen him since before Christmas.

I have a break by the sea for 2 nights at Easter, obviously I don’t know if that’ll go ahead yet.

I have two trips in June. Both short trips and one is for my birthday.

Meant to be going away with my parents who I haven’t seen in over 6 months in July.

I have a 4 night trip booked in August.

Of course I have no idea if any of those will go ahead, but I feel cautiously optimistic about them, particularly the summer ones as they’re all UK based.

I do miss the cinema and just sitting in a cafe if I’m honest, it feels pretty depressing not to be able to do that, especially this time of year.

I’ve been feeling the same the past couple of weeks. Just holding out for nicer weather and longer days. The fact it’s so bitter and cold outside just makes it feel more claustrophobic and depressing to me.

@HereComesATractor - well, you just do it all again. And again. Without further information (age of children, home situation, finances etc) its very hard to suggest ways to cope. But you do you.

Maybe people don’t need suggestions? That’s what I’m saying.

It’s a bit... read the room, that’s all

*Getting up every morning (dressed, bit of makeup)
*Getting out everyday (even just for half an hour after "school")
*Nice food / treats (we're not spending money on anything else!)
*Family mealtimes and TV time.
*An acceptance that this is shit for every single person in this country, but probably less so for me (working safely at home, income unaffected, parents nearby and coping).

It’s so so hard

I have been drinking more alcohol, can’t motivate myself to exercise , never get dressed out of trackies

Just shit at the mo (

I feel similar. A bit tearful today.
Normally I have no issues with my 5 year old's sleep. She woke up at 3am this morning and would not go back to sleep. She's high as a kite now but will crash soon I'm sure. She can't be coaxed into any school work. I think she's reached her limit too.

@HereComesATractor - you’re a little ray of sunshine, aren’t you? Sometimes practical suggestions help.

Um, ok... I’m not sure yours do, on this thread. a couple of people have told you this gently, but never mind

@Katie1784

*Getting up every morning (dressed, bit of makeup) *Getting out everyday (even just for half an hour after "school") *Nice food / treats (we're not spending money on anything else!) *Family mealtimes and TV time. *An acceptance that this is shit for every single person in this country, but probably less so for me (working safely at home, income unaffected, parents nearby and coping).

I thought of two more: *an occasional walk with a friend, even if it's only on city streets in the dark *getting into nature / seeing that spring is on its way.

I'm sitting looking at 4 walls with a 3 year old. I want this over

[quote DownWhichOfLate]@HereComesATractor - you’re a little ray of sunshine, aren’t you? Sometimes practical suggestions help.[/quote]
And sometimes you just need some sympathy and understanding that it’s utterly shit at the moment. Those suggestions can feel really dismissive.

Sorry you’ve feeling like this op. It’s not a great day here either.

@HereComesATractor - haha! Nice one .

A good wallow is eventually good for the soul.

You are allowed to feel shit. You can't be Mrs. Positive all the time, it eventually catches up with you.

Some days are just bad days and they are what they are. Much of this is completely out of your control and accepting that is a really difficult and emotional thing to do.

You do your best, you try your hardest in very difficult circumstances and still sometimes it feels like shit. But I suspect you know yourself well enough to trust that just because you feel like shit today, you might wake up tomorrow and feel somewhat better. Have a wallow for a bit, you can feel sad without completely breaking down - once you acknowledge it and give yourself some honesty, you'll probably come back with even more resolve.

I am laughing at the “ray of sunshine” put down. So many of us faking the cheerfulness for the sake of those in our homes, not allowed to express it somewhere anonymously like here.

But it did make me laugh, so that’s something

Accept today is a shit day. It works wonders to acknowledge this.

It is harder to stay cheerful at present. Spring is coming though which lifts most people's spirits. I feel like I am going through the motions in groundhog day and everything is a huge effort. Just keep reminding yourself that it will pass. My family's oldies are getting their jabs this week so that is heartening

Sympathies OP and I also get what @HereComesATractor is saying. We've all been dealing with this for so long that I think we know what we can and should do to get by, but sometimes it just feels overwhelming. I am extremely fortunate compared to a lot of people but I'm bored rigid, totally lacking in motivation and sick of hearing DH's voice on work calls.
It's not a competition - sometimes just acknowledging how crap it all is can help.

I feel your blues.

I am the fixer too, but after a year of cooking, working, smiling, thinking of ideas, I'm feeling utterly deflated.

This thread makes me feel better, because I know I'm not alone in these feelings, so I hope it has the same impact OP.

Please cut yourself some slack. It's so hard seeing your children upset and not being able to make it 'right' and it's easy to forget about yourself.

Sending a large virtual gin and tonic x

The expectation to be relentlessly cheerful and positive is wearing a bit thin for many people.

And then people are feeling like they are some sort of failure that they actually feel shit...(Driven by the "Just go for a walk" crew) when the reality is that it is a really shit situation and you will therefore sometimes feel like shit. It's like it has become offensive to say that this is a shit situation and we all have to pretend it's fine.

That in itself is mind-bendingly bad for your wellbeing.

You are allowed to feel like shit. Because it is shit. Treading water is enough.

I'm feeling the same way today.

I have older kids, which makes it so much easier in lots of ways - no homeschooling or having to keep them entertained and stimulated all day, but I'm finding the pressure of parenting at a distance immense. One has a job some distance away and lives alone and struggles with poor MH, one is a student at a uni some distance away and is struggling with some worrying physical health issues and one lives here with us and is furloughed and missing her partner at the other end of the country who she hasn't seen since November. All of them need support and the two who are away want to come home. I am worn out and fed up of juggling rules and risks and my responsibilities as a parent. I just want to be able to go with my gut instinct and see my kids and make sure they're all right. At this stage I don't even know if the virus is the thing I should be worried about.

Love and support to all who are burdened with the weight of responsibility and the sense that whatever they do is failing someone, somehow.

I really empathise. I am a single Mum , my daughter has ASD and will not leave my side. She needs constant supervision with home learning. My father passed away just after Christmas and I feel like I haven't had a moment to myself to gather my thoughts. Walking the dogs every day in the wet and the mud when I just want to be in bed with a duvet over my head x