Page 5 | Crying over school closures

Frazzled99 · 27/01/2021 18:17

@toocold54

It really annoys me when someone from a two parent family complains how hard their life is atm and how they’re struggling more than anyone else is with homeschooling.

Yes it is hard but you also have another parent that when they come home can help cook, clean, ring the car insurance/utilities and what ever other jobs there are to do. There is also the weekends where you can actually get a break.

Everyone is finding home schooling and working full time hard!
It is not going to be like this forever!

What a ridiculous comment. Earlier I supported a lady on MN who was struggling as a new mother. Should I have told her how annoying it was of her to complain when I had a new baby AND a toddler AND 2 school age SDs. How simple and easy 1 baby was so she should be fine. Maybe you should head over to the PND boards and tell them how annoying all their moaning is.

november90 · 27/01/2021 18:18

My son is pre school year and I am on Mat leave until April.... single parent. I honestly do not know how I would manage if it was like this next year and I was WFH, homeschooling and looking after a baby/toddler. Hats off to you all. Of course I admire all of the nhs, key workers, teachers etc but I tell you what my absolute admiration goes to those parents at home juggling it all aswell.... enough isn't said about those at home. ❤️

Stovetopespresso · 27/01/2021 18:19

@bubblybarbara I totally agree, this will be over soon concentrate on keeping yourself and them as happy as you can in a holistic way, its not solely about work and studies, its about walks, hobbies, excercise, sleep, healthy food, enjoyment and laughs where possible

Ilovenewyear · 27/01/2021 18:20

@longandwide

It took a while for today's "I'm sitting on the kitchen floor blubbing" thread.

Knew they'd be one - has been one every day since March.

ODFOD.

It’s tough OP. Agree with the posters saying don’t be bullied by the school. Just do your best. Prioritise Maths and English. The rest can wait.

We catch up at the weekend and while I submit work after every lesson we do, we don’t do it all. We have no live lessons. I can leave my child in front of bite size for about 3 minutes before they shout for help. I have a toddler at nursery in the morning so we cram everything we can into those hours. Then it’s a chance for me to catch up with work in the afternoon while they both sit in front of the tv and I finish it off in the evening.

I’m shattered. Everything and everyone in our house is suffering. Switch off the news for a couple of weeks, it does help. And get out for a walk once a day. Fingers crossed they re-open soon.

Lanzo · 27/01/2021 18:21

A friend of mine has hired her neighbours son (Alevel age) to come round and do an hour a day of helping with her daughter’s school work. If you aren’t too worried about covid something like this could help.

longandwide · 27/01/2021 18:21

[quote Stovetopespresso]@bubblybarbara I totally agree, this will be over soon concentrate on keeping yourself and them as happy as you can in a holistic way, its not solely about work and studies, its about walks, hobbies, excercise, sleep, healthy food, enjoyment and laughs where possible[/quote]
There is someone on another thread whining about being fed up of walks. Some people are determined to be unhappy

Stovetopespresso · 27/01/2021 18:21

sorry to hear you're having a tough time @dbml take care of yourself

SansaSnark · 27/01/2021 18:21

@Fuckallofthis

Firstly I don’t want an argument or masses of people piling in with ‘think of the teachers’ or their vulnerable people. I fully understand WHY schools can’t/won’t open, I’m just so so upset about it all.

The idea of continuing like this. Working, homeschooling a young child and having a toddler. It’s just impossible. I saw the news about the return being delayed and burst into tears, am currently in the bathroom trying to compose myself for my families sake.

I’m struggling so much, I’m just so tired. I’m failing at home school and had a call yesterday letting me know that I have to send his work back by the end of the day, my toddler is just left to be entertained by the TV and my own work is slacking.

I can’t escape the feeling that when this is over I’m going to be left unemployed, with a stunted toddler and a child very behind in his learning.

What do you prioritise, how can you decide which person/thing is most important? I never thought I’d choose work over children but how else will I pay the bills. This feels like it’s never going to end and I just can’t cope.

It’s just impossible. I can’t be furloughed, school and pre school won’t take the kids and DH is out all day. I feel like I’m drowning.

If you can't send the work back, you can't send the work back. I say this as a teacher- I do chase for work, but if someone has a valid reason for not doing the work, I back right off.

I might try to offer solutions if I can, but ultimately as long as you haven't dropped off the face of the earth, there's nothing school can really do in terms of the school work.

Is there anything your DH can do to help?

Can you flex your work a bit to catch up in the evenings etc when DH is home?

But if some school work doesn't get done that is ok, and there is nothing the teacher can do.

mogtheexcellent · 27/01/2021 18:23

Can your DH be furloughed?

If not he needs to take holiday or unpaid leave to give you a break.

Stovetopespresso · 27/01/2021 18:23

@longandwide don't get me wrong I have days when I want to chop my fecking legs off rather than go on another walk I'm only human

Teandsympathy · 27/01/2021 18:25

I am trying to work with 2 children honelearning. My eldest is in secondary and despite years of referrals from previous teachers she still gets no support and is unable to complete her work without my help. My youngest is very motivated but on her own terms. She will do the projects that interest her, reads lots of books, spends hours outside with her dad and likes to cook but as she is not following the timetable i get lots of phonecalls and emails. Anything she submits is met with questions about why she is not completing more work and how she will struggle to keep up. Having one child who truly struggles i know this will not be the case with my youngest and therefore im not putting pressure on her to complete a full days work every day.

You know your child and need to be allowed to manage the situation in a way that works for You. The teachers are under pressure to do their job but it shouldnt be at the expense of your own or your mental wellbeing.

Dragongirl10 · 27/01/2021 18:26

Prioritise your job op, bills need to be paid.
Your toddler won't be damaged by a few weeks of tv, relax about that.
Mine are older but a friend of mine with a yr 4 childs gets up at 4.45 and puts in over 2 hours work before her dd gets up. Then they have breakfast together and she tries to get her dd started on some work for an hour at a time, whilst friend works sporadically. but with less pressure due to the early 2 hours undisturbed.
Then once dh arrives home at 6 he takes over dd and dinner straight away, and my friend works undisturbed for a solid hour, then again after dinner.
They also do a day each of schoolwork (Just in the mornings) at the weekends, whilst the other parent has a half day off.

But it is hard, we are all struggling in some way or another.
This too shall pass.

Ihatemyseleffordoingthis · 27/01/2021 18:29

So, first off

"I told the teacher that I was working and he said it’s compulsory this time around so the work needs to be submitted and that he has to call me"

He's wrong. It is not compulsory for you to do, but it is for him to set.
I would go over his head, email the school and tell them firmly what you can manage.

In this house, with 3 kids in different schools - 1 in a GCSE year, an elderly parent to care for and 2 full time working parents, that looks like an hour per day of one-to-one time with our Y6 on schooling, getting them on the daily zoom, and trying to get outside/do something creative together/getting him reading and drawing.

Your situation sounds impossible, so stop feeling guilty or bad

Priorities need to be
Secure your income
Harmonious household and mental health
Whatever can be managed with school stuff

Anyone who tells you that you need to gain superpowers be able to do it all simultaneously is an arsehole.

Defenbaker · 27/01/2021 18:30

OP, it's totally understandable to be upset and disappointed. By my estimate it's 40 days to 8 March... it seems quite a long time, but you will get through it, one day at a time, and before you know it the daffodils will be out to greet you, as you take your DC to school. I understand why this news is the last thing parents wanted to hear today, but it would be worse to reopen schools then have to shut them suddenly again.

Also, by March the worst of the winter weather has usually passed, so it should be possible to keep windows and doors open for good ventilation in classrooms, which should reduce the viral load for everyone in school. Perhaps the summer school holidays could be shortened to help make up for lost time? Also, there is talk of moving teachers up the priority list, so when school reopens fewer teachers will end up being off sick with the virus, which means schools won't struggle so much.

SushiSoozie · 27/01/2021 18:31

I’m failing at home school and had a call yesterday letting me know that I have to send his work back by the end of the day

You don't have to do any such thing. Tell them you'll do what you can do and if they have a problem with it, they can provide you with a school place.

We can only do so much.

NailsNeedDoing · 27/01/2021 18:34

Your feeling that you need to prioritise your job is right, if you lose your job you’ll have bigger problems.

Go though all of the plans and everything the school has sent you to help tell you what they expect, but if it turns out that they haven’t provided anything helpful and they’re putting too much on you, then tell them. Continue to tell them that you’ll do work at weekends or late afternoon if that’s what you need to, and their job is to be supportive of whatever works for you. If they don’t like it they can offer your child a place.

Bluewavescrashing · 27/01/2021 18:40

Our school have said to do what we can and not get stressed. I can’t believe they called you. I would be telling them you’ll submit what you can each day but you have a full time job and a toddler.

I'm a teacher and I have to make welfare calls every week as per government guidance. I have to question parents when they don't upload work to the online learning platform. I hate doing it as I know it's so hard for working parents, but I have to do it.

heidipi · 27/01/2021 18:44

It's so hard - we all need to vent now and again!

I'm horrified at the school's attitude - most seem to understand how hard it is and have a 'just do what you can' approach. Some teachers are in the same boat - WFH with their own DC at home. Tell them you'll send work in when you can and leave it at that - what are they going to do?

When this is all over, the most important thing will be how you and your DC feel when you look back on this period - not how up to speed with ancient egyptian history or whatever your DC is. I know you can't just pack up your job or move a nanny in (eyeroll) but little things that make the days easier are going to be what makes the difference. Maybe read to both DC together, jigsaws and board games, TV/films are absolutely fine - can you roughly plan chunks of time for them to stare at a screen so you know when you can work? Is there more your DH can do - can he do some maths/whatever before he goes out or when he gets back? Tell him how much you are struggling and see if you can make a plan together. This is really shit - no-one would ever plan to work and live like this. School work should be way down your list of priorities and anyone doing all this with a toddler in the house deserves a big shiny medal as far as I can see.

toocold54 · 27/01/2021 18:45

What a ridiculous comment. Earlier I supported a lady on MN who was struggling as a new mother. Should I have told her how annoying it was of her to complain when I had a new baby AND a toddler AND 2 school age SDs.

I’m assuming there isn’t a million other threads about the exact same thing.
All of which think they are somehow struggling more than anyone else and then you find out they have a DP, or are a SAHP, work part time etc

If they want to vent then fine that’s what MNs for but why start another new thread. I’m assuming it’s because they hope people will suggest taking their DC into school.

toocold54 · 27/01/2021 18:47

He's wrong. It is not compulsory for you to do, but it is for him to set.
I would go over his head, email the school and tell them firmly what you can manage.

It IS compulsory for them to do their school work. It is not a holiday.
But there is a difference between not engaging at all and not completing all of the work.

Thewiseoneincognito · 27/01/2021 18:48

For everyone’s sanity DO NOT CLING ON TO THE HOPE OF 8th MARCH Work with Easter instead, that is more likely.

heidipi · 27/01/2021 18:48

@Bluewavescrashing

Our school have said to do what we can and not get stressed. I can’t believe they called you. I would be telling them you’ll submit what you can each day but you have a full time job and a toddler.

I'm a teacher and I have to make welfare calls every week as per government guidance. I have to question parents when they don't upload work to the online learning platform. I hate doing it as I know it's so hard for working parents, but I have to do it.

Do you have to tell parents that they have to get work back by a deadline though, as the OP says? Our school say they are phoning vulnerable children regularly and will call others if they aren't engaging with online learning - otherwise we're not getting a call til nearly half term I think. My DC are 10 and 7 and are doing 2 maybe 3 of the 5 or 6 learning tasks that are put online each day. They're reading too and doing some exercise but that's the best we can manage alongside work, if school can't understand that then something's wrong.

Bluewavescrashing · 27/01/2021 18:56

We have 3 'must do' activities per week that we would like children to do as a minimum. They are year 1 so 5 and 6 years old. We offer a full timetable of learning and many of our families access this. 30 plus videos per week, slides, 3 levels of written tasks (made by us), individual learning meetings over zoom, class meetings over zoom, extra support for those who need it. Some of my children have submitted no work at all this term. I understand why as I know the families and work closely with them to support them. I report to my head when the work isn't done but I don't feel I can insist that they do it.

Calmandmeasured1 · 27/01/2021 18:58

I saw the news about the return being delayed
No, you didn't because the date they would be returning to normal was never stated. It has always been contingent on the rate of infection, number of infections, number of hospitalisations, hospital capacity, deaths, vaccination rate and number etc.

I feel for you but it really bloody annoys me when people state things that are not true. If you want facts then watch the updates and actually listen to what is stated from the horse's mouth. The PM did not say that kids would definitely be returning on a specific date. He still hasn't. The earliest date that ministers hope children will be able to start returning to school is March 8th. Read that properly. It does not mean they will be returning on March 8th.

Is there any way you can do your work early mornings and evenings and concentrate in schooling in the daytime?

Send toddler to nursery?

Ask DH to actually take on some of his parenting duties?

Can he take some time off while you are struggling?

Can you temporarily cut down your working hours?

Are you depressed - do you need to see a doctor?

Cherrysoup · 27/01/2021 19:03

Year 2 and they’re ringing to have a go at you? How on earth is that acceptable? I’m asking as a teacher! Year 2 homeschooling is a full time job. I think at this stage, your job is more important and you just tell the school you’re meant to be working and have a toddler. Fml, I’m astonished at this.