Crying over school closures

[Fuckallofthis]

Firstly I don’t want an argument or masses of people piling in with ‘think of the teachers’ or their vulnerable people. I fully understand WHY schools can’t/won’t open, I’m just so so upset about it all.

The idea of continuing like this. Working, homeschooling a young child and having a toddler. It’s just impossible. I saw the news about the return being delayed and burst into tears, am currently in the bathroom trying to compose myself for my families sake.

I’m struggling so much, I’m just so tired. I’m failing at home school and had a call yesterday letting me know that I have to send his work back by the end of the day, my toddler is just left to be entertained by the TV and my own work is slacking.

I can’t escape the feeling that when this is over I’m going to be left unemployed, with a stunted toddler and a child very behind in his learning.

What do you prioritise, how can you decide which person/thing is most important? I never thought I’d choose work over children but how else will I pay the bills. This feels like it’s never going to end and I just can’t cope.

It’s just impossible. I can’t be furloughed, school and pre school won’t take the kids and DH is out all day. I feel like I’m drowning.

I think that its worth considering that schools are under immense pressure from the Dept of Education to be seen to be delivering an all singing all dancing remote curriculum. From a teachers point of view we have to do engagement tracking and complete weekly records of who isn't engaging and why and what we've done about it. Teachers get pressure from the HT who gets pressure from the LA who gets pressure from the government.

My Sister in Law has 3 kids in primary and both her and my brother work full time. What I've told her is that we as teachers have to give out work every lesson but that doesn't mean she has to try to make them do it all. For Primary I'd focus on English and Maths and if you have time try to do some of the rest.

Schools (in general) know their pupils/families well and the vast majority of staff will be very sympathetic to parents who are struggling and many of those teachers are also parents trying to deliver lessons while also home educating and know just how impossible it is.

So, do what you can and don't worry about what you can't do. Let the school know you're finding it difficult to manage and complete all the work and tell them you will submit work as and when you can.

Your toddler won't be stunted by too much TV for some months and your child wont be eternally behind if you can't complete all the work that the school sets. We have to set a lot of work but that doesn't mean you have to do it all.

@Cherrysoup They are ringing because they have been told they have to follow up on any child who is seen to not be engaging. It feels pretty damn shit from a teachers point of view to be contacting home when we know how bloody hard it is to try to do it all - but we have been told we have to do it, and this is compounded by HMI contacting schools to assess remote learning and one of the main focus' is 'what is being done about engagement'.

Please don’t feel like you are choosing work over your kids.
You are working to support your kids. Working is choosing your kids.

The school have fulfilled their obligation to tell you to submit work. Just mentally think “thank you for telling me” and then just do what is reasonable and possible.

We need to come out the other side of this ok. All the school have to consider is schoolwork. It’s important that our dc have parents who are still functioning, employed and that the dc aren’t traumatised. If they manage to get a bit of reading and maths in there too, that’s a bonus.

The thing to remember is that any teacher worth their salt will teach the dc what they need to know. Most of the curriculum these days is about learning skills not rote learning facts. Let them play, draw, craft, play on iPads. Remember that hilarious meme about putting the subtitles on and plonking them in front of Netflix? Do it! They are learning all the time. If it helps get them watching Dora the explorer for Spanish and the Magic Schoolbus for science.

Do a bit more at the weekend if you can. But cut yourself slack here.

I get that teachers are following DfE rules by making these calls but surely there's a way of handling them sensitively and diplomatically, rather than making working parents feel even more shit about the fact they can't support their children's learning as much as they would like? Or do the DfE provide a script which teachers must blindly follow?

I do sympathise, I’m a teacher and working from home with a toddler is really hard BUT my husband came home from hospital yesterday after being admitted with Covid at the beginning of last week, he’s 41, normal weight and healthy but was on critical care dependent on oxygen. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone and it’s come a lot closer than we ever thought it would. The only place we have been is the supermarket. This thing needs to be more in control before we can consider going back.

School do not need you to upload stuff every day

They might - or might not -get Ofsted brownie points at some later point in time if lots of kids do that, but no, you are not required to do any of it .

If my DC was Year 2 I would try to do one thing together each day. For an hour. Sometime the toddler might be able to join in, listening to each other read, drawing etc. Sometimes the toddler might watch the box whilst you try some maths. DH can also do something to entertain them in the evenings whilst you catch up with work, if work allows you that flexibility. If there are any live lessons pop DD in front of them. Show you are engaged. But tell the school this is what you will be doing, do that and no more

Ignore suggestions of getting up before you've gone to bed to get all the school work done. It isn't necessary. Nearly everything being set is usually rattled through collectively in class, without any one to one. They all learn from each other and the sharing of answers. The work being sent home is largely not suitable for independent learning. Because in primary school things are not taught that way.

Concentrate on doing English and maths with your school child. The toddler will be fine!
Does your work need to be done mon - Friday? Could you say have Friday non working then do a full day either sat/sun when your DH is home? Then you catch up on what you've not done in the week?
I do feel your pain - I work full time from home with three children. Luckily two schooling and youngest still at childminder.
Can your toddler not go somewhere for childcare?
Good luck! You will get through this

I get that teachers are following DfE rules by making these calls but surely there's a way of handling them sensitively and diplomatically,

I agree. But how do you say why is your child not doing the work without it sounding like your being judgemental. As a parent you’re bound to take those kind of phone calls the wrong way especially if you’re already stressed.

They absolutely shouldn’t be phoning to have a go at you though. You have to do the best you can at the moment.

They might - or might not -get Ofsted brownie points at some later point in time if lots of kids do that, but no, you are not required to do any of it

The school you teach at may work that way but most other schools will require the child to do the work.
Don’t tell OP something that may be in different on her child’s school when she is the one that will get the phone calls and not you.

@EscapeGoated I completely understand, I’m a teacher. However, individual circumstances MUST be considered. And quite frankly, Gavin Williamson can fuck right off with his telling parents to complain if lesson quality isn’t acceptable.

The difference in what one primary is insisting upon and what another wants is unfair on all stakeholders. How on earth is a working parent meant to home school? How on earth is someone who doesn’t work from home meant to do this? I despair.

I do sympathise, I’m a teacher and working from home with a toddler is really hard BUT my husband came home from hospital yesterday after being admitted with Covid at the beginning of last week, he’s 41, normal weight and healthy but was on critical care dependent on oxygen. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone and it’s come a lot closer than we ever thought it would. The only place we have been is the supermarket. This thing needs to be more in control before we can consider going back.

The OP isn't making any kind of statement about whether or not this is necessary. She is saying she finds it incredibly difficult. She is allowed to find this situation difficult. You do not get the final say on how she feels about it because your partner had covid.

@sunlightbuttons

I do sympathise, I’m a teacher and working from home with a toddler is really hard BUT my husband came home from hospital yesterday after being admitted with Covid at the beginning of last week, he’s 41, normal weight and healthy but was on critical care dependent on oxygen. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone and it’s come a lot closer than we ever thought it would. The only place we have been is the supermarket. This thing needs to be more in control before we can consider going back.

The OP isn't making any kind of statement about whether or not this is necessary. She is saying she finds it incredibly difficult. She is allowed to find this situation difficult. You do not get the final say on how she feels about it because your partner had covid.

Never said I did which is why I posted again. HTH.

Forget submitting work the day it is set. That's not achievable.

Even if DH is working out of the home, he can do his half of the home schooling on his days off (presumably Saturday and Sunday?) while you focus on the toddler/house stuff that needs to get done. Then you've just got 2.5 days worth to squeeze into your 5 day week. I'd start early, get an hour of home schooling in before work starts, then an hour on your "lunch break", so 2 hours per day, 5 days per week.

Would that work?

Please remember this is low level stuff, when you get into the bones of this s, no one is being fined for not submitting work, there is nothing school can do.

Each person has a different interpretation of the '' rules '', do the basics and tell them.

Are there any grandparents or relatives who might do a lesson or two over zoom or similar medium? Email them the worksheets or whatever.

I would set out your case to the school. Some appear to be more understanding than others and depending on capacity might offer a place. Emphasise your mental strain and that of your child.

It's awful. I have told my manager I will not be going back until the schools return (on a planned break right now). It remains to be seen what my organisation says about that. I'm sure it will scupper any chances of promotion for the foreseeable.

I've done the late night working and weekends, I just can't do it again and don't see why I should. I'm lucky to be able to afford this.

2 hours a day!

Don't need that much

DD's work hand in time is 11.59 pm, it is set at 8.30 am so she has all day and evening to do it. All schools should be doing this imvho.

I'm not trying to minimise how totally shit this is btw, just trying to give you an idea of how it could be structured (making sure daddy isn't getting off Scott free)

@toocold54,

No, you are wrong
The school is required to set it, the school might prefer you to submit it, but cannot oblige you to do it.
Oh and I am a parent, not a teacher

The OP isn't making any kind of statement about whether or not this is necessary. She is saying she finds it incredibly difficult. She is allowed to find this situation difficult. You do not get the final say on how she feels about it because your partner had covid.

Guess you couldn't manage to fit in any well wishes for a very ill man into that blisteringly unsympathetic response

@PurpleFlower1983 sorry to hear that. Hope he's ok

@HmmSureJan Thank you. What I was trying to get across was the bigger picture.

I think OP needs to be kind to herself and some schools need to be more realistic about what is achievable while people are battling all kinds of different home scenarios.

It sounds as though your children are very young so don't worry about them. Ring behind. The teachers will catch them up.
I am more concerned about my blood Kerr 3, all of whom are in their GCSE years - their exam results will be affected, and that will be with them for the rest of their lives.
Primary school children (I have 2 at primary) I am not so worried about. They will catch up before any exams are taken so it will not disadvantage them in the long term.

Imo schools need to provide the week's work on a friday. For printing and looking through.
Getting it on the day for the day is rather ridiculous with usually multiple kids and stuff going on.
We arent doing everything. well hardy anything for reception child. As it is taking so long to do the basic
Y4 has
2x20min zoom
40min maths
10 min white rose
10min oak

So thats 100min
Then dc2 has similar. But that is without setting it all up.
Printing is easily 20min a day.

Everything on paper worksheets was actually easier to manage.

This is silently, and in some cases not so silently, destroying children.