Crying over school closures

[Fuckallofthis]

Firstly I don’t want an argument or masses of people piling in with ‘think of the teachers’ or their vulnerable people. I fully understand WHY schools can’t/won’t open, I’m just so so upset about it all.

The idea of continuing like this. Working, homeschooling a young child and having a toddler. It’s just impossible. I saw the news about the return being delayed and burst into tears, am currently in the bathroom trying to compose myself for my families sake.

I’m struggling so much, I’m just so tired. I’m failing at home school and had a call yesterday letting me know that I have to send his work back by the end of the day, my toddler is just left to be entertained by the TV and my own work is slacking.

I can’t escape the feeling that when this is over I’m going to be left unemployed, with a stunted toddler and a child very behind in his learning.

What do you prioritise, how can you decide which person/thing is most important? I never thought I’d choose work over children but how else will I pay the bills. This feels like it’s never going to end and I just can’t cope.

It’s just impossible. I can’t be furloughed, school and pre school won’t take the kids and DH is out all day. I feel like I’m drowning.

Hi op

I’m a teacher and I try to have sensible views. It was crazy in school prior to Christmas and a lot of people got sick. I’ve agreed with school closures, but today I’m having a rough day too.

I’ve been unable to stop crying myself. I don’t want to be home. I feel trapped. Working online is hard and isolated. I don’t want to go back to work in unsafe conditions...but I desperately want to go back to work in normality again. I want to see my colleagues and have a reason to dress the bottom half of my body as well as the top.

I usually am very much ‘get the virus down, save lives’ but today I feel so utterly hopeless. I am trying to stop myself saying ‘I’ll just take my chances’ as I know that’s so selfish and will cost lives. I feel incredibly emotional today and would kill to see even those pupils who drive me up the wall.

I’m saying this so you know you’re not alone...and even though some of us actively agree with the school closures, we still find them unbearable.

I find my son's school has been not the greatest with both helping kids, and teaching kids, during this time.

You absolutely do not have to submit the work school are sending in. You don't have to do it at all so please take that off your plate. It's compulsory for them to provide it NOT for you to do it. If it's easier sign your DC up to prodigy maths, put educational shows like BBC Bitesize, operation ouch, wild kratts, go jetters, horrible histories etc on, play BBC Bitesize games like karate cats and small town superheroes. Spellingframe is £10 for the year? Khan academy is free but I've not used that myself. Would DC do any of the oak academy lessons? It's all very shit but doing something aligned to the curriculum more independently while you get on is better than destroying your mental health while getting very little done anyway. Is there another preschool you could move toddler to or any childminders? I realise that's easier suggested than found! I would prioritise work in your shoes. You need to pay the bills and will continue to need to after all this. Toddler will be back at preschool and the excessive screen time is temporary. YR2 child will catch up and can do the educational games to not fall so far behind. You can always do a bit extra over the summer if needed. I'm sorry you're going through all this

The school are under pressure to deliver a full curriculum. That’s unfortunate but their priorities are not your priorities. In reality, home schooling is very different and especially as you need to work. There is a lot in the primary curriculum that can be covered through conversation, reading and, yes, tv so don’t worry. Prioritise writing, reading and maths. This is where the gaps will develop. Bedtime reading with a few questions thrown in is fun. If you can give an hour 1 to 1 to support writing or maths so much can be achieved.

It took a while for today's "I'm sitting on the kitchen floor blubbing" thread.

Knew they'd be one - has been one every day since March.

I told the teacher that I was working and he said it’s compulsory this time around so the work needs to be submitted

Then tell the teacher to set work that the children can do without parental involvement.

It's not for the parents to teach the kids, it's for the teachers to set age-appropriate work that the kids can get on with ON THEIR OWN.

I've never understood this idea that everyone is "home-schooling" but now it becomes clear.

My suggestion is get your husband to wake early in the morning and do one hour everyday with your child before he goes to work.
Do whatever you can manage during the day and Then pick up the left over work on the weekend. It’s NOT easy but your husband needs to help.

Setting work for parents to do isn't "delivering a full curriculum".

What a joke.

@longandwide

It took a while for today's "I'm sitting on the kitchen floor blubbing" thread.

Knew they'd be one - has been one every day since March.

That’s a bit mean don’t you think

What’s your set up?

Coconuts, the teacher needs education on the dyslexia and your son's problems..
He is being disadvantaged by the system they are using. You need to step in and advocate for him and mention this, unfortunately because there is not sen training in pgce many teaches are simply not aware of these sen and the issues of self esteem around them.

I'm sure after a chat your son will be issued with an apology and a work around for him so he can take part and not end up penalised and in tears.

The law is on YOUR side here, its sad that it's you who need 🔝 sort this but that's the way it it's at present

I just realised you posted on the actual thread saying that Long

How did you get to be so spiteful? Unhappy in life I bet.

@longandwide

It took a while for today's "I'm sitting on the kitchen floor blubbing" thread.

Knew they'd be one - has been one every day since March.

How nasty. Don't you have any empathy?

If you can't submit the work on time just tell the school you can't. My son didn't feel great yesterday and all he did was some 'art'. I uploaded the picture so the school won't be worried about him and told them he was unwell.

I'd also have a conversation with work about reducing or changing your hours. And yes, as above this is your DH's problem as well. He needs to take annual leave or something and do his share.

It must be incredibly tough for you and other parents struggling with jobs and homeschooling. I have such admiration for working Mums in normal times, I couldn't handle that, so how you're all still trying is amazing to me. (Mine in 16 so thankfully needs no help from me in that regard).

I don't know what to suggest to help but I can fully understand why it would upset you so much OP. It's completely unachievable to do all those things well under these circumstances. It's not you. Really we need employers and schools to be understanding and flexible, but not all are and that sucks.

I hope tomorrow is a better day for you.

The toddler won't be stunted, he won't remember anything about it. Your child will catch up. I didn't send mine to school until year 4, when people were horrified (It was less common back then) I used to say refugees come here not speaking the language, traumatised, having missed years at school and a few years later they speak good English and plenty of them are off to uni. It seems terrible now but try not to worry, it is hard and feeling like you are damaging the children will just make it harder.

Tell the school you are struggling with work/toddler/schoolwork and you won't be sending any in this week. If you feel bad about that tell them a lie, the internet is down and you will do some BBC bitsize with him and see them next week. They won't send a hit squad out and it will be pointless sending an email, if they phone let it go to answerphone.

You aren't alone, as the govt will tell you this is unprecedented.

Asking the teaches or taking their word verbatim is like relying on first level call center staff when your query is complex and needs to go higher up.

The teachers simply won't know the complexity or ins or outs of this.

I told the teacher that I was working and he said it’s compulsory this time around so the work needs to be submitted and that he has to call me
If it’s not. We’re trying but there’s no recorded lessons or verbal instructions with it and DC is y2 and doesn’t understand it all so needs a lot of input from me to know what he’s supposed to do*

Is it fuck compulsory to do the work in a set time. Tell him the schools being unreasonable, that you'll do your best but you're not a teacher and you have to work.

Gets right on my tit ends how some schools are going on.

Husband can take over on his days off.

If the pre school is shut could your toddler go to a nursery or CM? That will help massively. Also speak to school and DH to make sure they know you're struggling. You can't continue like this OP

Also I know some people who have hired a nanny to do homeschooling/toddler care. Not sure if this is an option for you financially but just a thought.

Another one to suggest that you tell the teacher you are not coping.

I would not worry about the school work. Most people are struggling. Your DC will be fine. The most impt thing is to look after yourself and do anything you can to feel better.

I was in long lockdown in another country with 4 DCs on my own and stressful job for 4 months. I dropped the school work all together and they played video games in their beds for weeks on end.

Our schools are open now and all DCs are fine. Everyone has caught up. It will be fine for your DC too.

And adapt some of the work so he can do it himself. I've just written out two days of maths questions so DS can fill them in. (No we don't get live lessons, we don't even get worksheets, just instructions.) And look online for related resources your child can do independently - wordsearches on keywords etc that are educational and fill time. Get them playing maths and English games online - BBC bitesize website has great games and short videos. Then split the actual work they need help with into small chunks if they get stuck then they can go back to the games/wordsearches etc until you can help again.

It really annoys me when someone from a two parent family complains how hard their life is atm and how they’re struggling more than anyone else is with homeschooling.

Yes it is hard but you also have another parent that when they come home can help cook, clean, ring the car insurance/utilities and what ever other jobs there are to do. There is also the weekends where you can actually get a break.

Everyone is finding home schooling and working full time hard!
It is not going to be like this forever!

@toocold54

It really annoys me when someone from a two parent family complains how hard their life is atm and how they’re struggling more than anyone else is with homeschooling.

Yes it is hard but you also have another parent that when they come home can help cook, clean, ring the car insurance/utilities and what ever other jobs there are to do. There is also the weekends where you can actually get a break.

Everyone is finding home schooling and working full time hard!
It is not going to be like this forever!

It is MN lore that complaining is only permitted if your situation is definitely and objectively the worst in the world

@MollysMummy2010

Totally with you op. I am on my knees all be it with an older only child (Y6) but who just won’t work unless supervised. My work is manic and I lost a really good friend recently. Don’t know what to prioritise and whatever I do I feel guilty and like I am being crap at everything. Also close to tears today.

I am in the same boat with a y6 who won't work unless I'm there, also has dyslexia and disengages easily. he was crying quietly during my team meeting yesterday and I realised I needed to take some time off so I have used annual leave to reduce my hours till April

Unlike your employer, there’s not very much of any consequence the school can do to you if you don’t submit any work. They are not going to exclude your child or fine you over even a few weeks of not submitting anything. So it’s the bottom priority and you do what you can with it.