Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Covid

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Original poster

6 year old won't stay in his designated area of pg, ht threatened to take away place

135 replies

Hallomi · 26/01/2021 15:58

I can't seem to drum it into my 6 year old to stay in his area of the playground, he keeps running over to hug and play with his brother. He always played with his big brother and friends before this happened. Picked them up today, and headteacher said if he keeps this up he will have his place taken away and won't be allowed back to school, said it was v tough on teachers just now and children must be extra good. Are anyone else's children struggling with this? I just keep calming explaining that he must stay away and stay within his side of the playground.

OP posts:
Calmandmeasured1 · 26/01/2021 16:04

Can you ask your child to explain to you the reason why they need to stay in their designated area of the playground to see if they actually understand?

AvoidingRealHumans · 26/01/2021 16:06

If there's no additional needs I'd expect a 6 year old to be able to follow a simple instruction like that.
Saying that, its completely unreasonable for the school to remove his place for this, in normal times I doubt they kick kids out for not following rules, there would be no children left surely.
If a behaviour issue persisted in school then I would look to follow it up at home with reasonable consequences, for us it would be a loss of screen time, what has the school done apart from ask him not to? I would expect them to follow their behaviour policy too before removing him and I doubt that they could lawfully remove his place for this.

Original poster
Hallomi · 26/01/2021 16:19

Thanks for your replies.

He has a long standing issue with his behaviour, he was almost expelled from nursery, it was a horrible time. I keep regular contact with the school, we have a chart that goes between us, and I always flag any issues. I always discuss anything on the chart. Before schools shut again he was doing amazingly, greens every day.

Our home life is stable and quiet, although his Dad from whom I am separated treats him more like a friend, and this weekend he moved in with his new gf and her children which I knew nothing about. So I am considering the best option for ds rn.

he does great with 121 contact, he was also in art school and outdoor school from 2-4 and was brilliantly behaved. He's hugely social and chatty, incredibly funny and engaged.

I can't imagine him losing his place, partly because I couldn't do my Nursing placement, but also because to he told at 6 he has to leave school because of his behaviour would be crushing.

OP posts:
StacySoloman · 26/01/2021 16:22

Children at my dc school have been temporarily suspended for not following covid guidelines and it’s part of their behaviour policy now.

SionnachRua · 26/01/2021 16:23

It's a really hard situation because on one hand, I'm not surprised that the 6 year old is struggling with behaviour. School as he knows it doesn't look the same.

On the other, staff have to be very firm on behaviour, especially around distancing and bubbles. And that makes total sense too.

Original poster
Hallomi · 26/01/2021 16:23

I'm not sure I needed to be quite so personal on my last post Blush. I had a chat and asked him to explain why he needs to stay in his bubble and he said because of the virus so he understands to an extent.

OP posts:
PatriciaHolm · 26/01/2021 16:29

Is his brother older? Can he (the big brother!) explain that they both need to stay in their areas, and they can have a big hug after school?

faerin · 26/01/2021 16:32

This just seems inhumane tbh. How can small children social distance or be expected to understand what is happening? Small children are meant to mix and do exactly as your boy is doing. To punish for this just seems.. what is even the point if they're being expected to not play with their own siblings?? I'm so sorry, I know this is of no help. It's just exasperating reading stories like this of what is actually happening with children rn.

Original poster
Hallomi · 26/01/2021 16:38

The teachers asked his big brother to entice him back to his area.

They weren't in school during first lockdown, as I was working in HR then, and only started their KW place 2 weeks ago. Young ds said for the first week he had no friends because "I used to be a bad boy so no one plays with me"...and his big brother said everyday he saw youngest playing by himself. They are in they're own school as opposed to a Hub, but not many in.

I KNOW my son has challenging behaviour, I know this, and we discuss it and I remove screens and I celebrate his green charts and I read books on parenting, I try.

His whole world is completely different, and I understand the stress faced by schools, perhaps even the defensiveness...but he is 6, only just turned 6 3 weeks ago. He is 6, and wants to see his brother.

OP posts:
Indecisive12 · 26/01/2021 16:42

This is so hard. Obviously for school they NEED him to remain in his bubble so as to prevent a possible 2 class closure if they allow him to carry on. At 6 he should be able to stay in his own bubble and away from his brother. It’s also unfair on his brother. But also I understand why he might feel safe with his brother.
How are your 6 year olds friendships at school?

Pickles89 · 26/01/2021 16:47

Is there an visual divider separating areas of the playground, for example a rope, or traffic cones, or is it more vague than that? Maybe he would respond better to a physical barrier he can see.

IHateCoronavirus · 26/01/2021 16:47

It sounds like a tough situation for you all op. If his DF is treating like a friend I suspect the inconsistency between boundaries and expectations might be partly to blame for his behaviour. Do school feedback about behaviour to his DF also, or do you feel as if it is mostly up to you?

Countdowntonothing · 26/01/2021 16:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Hallomi · 26/01/2021 16:58

It's all up to me, always has been. But at least I'm a consistent person, I'm always here.

There is no visual prompt such as a rope or cones, but the teachers stand there and say "no going past this point " or something along those lines.

He hasn't really got friends in this class.

OP posts:
Orchidflower1 · 26/01/2021 17:06

If my child was in the other bubble I’d be fuming. Have you thought about external support?

WombOfOnesOwn · 26/01/2021 17:11

Child acts like human being, adults rush to make sure they all express how horrified they are.

If someone had asked you all in 2019 what the fatality rate of a disease would have to be to make it reasonable to stop children from hugging siblings and kept in tiny areas of playground to never touch another child, I wonder what you'd have said.

MrsAudreyShapiro · 26/01/2021 17:11

Have you mentioned to the school that their father has moved in with his gf and her children? It's worthwhile for them to know as it might be unsettling for ds.

StacySoloman · 26/01/2021 17:16

@WombOfOnesOwn

Child acts like human being, adults rush to make sure they all express how horrified they are.

If someone had asked you all in 2019 what the fatality rate of a disease would have to be to make it reasonable to stop children from hugging siblings and kept in tiny areas of playground to never touch another child, I wonder what you'd have said.

It’s the hospitalisation rate that matters rather than death rate. Having to stay in your own area of the playground is a reasonable requirement to still attend school during a pandemic while hospitals are on the brink of collapse.
Marcipex · 26/01/2021 17:17

Could he ‘help’ the teachers by drawing a thick chalk line across the playground, be the one to put out cones etc , so it’s worded as he is helping the other children remember?
(They must have plastic cones used for pe etc.)
That would put a more positive spin on it from his point of view, fill in some empty playtime (I know it’s sad) and also begin to impress on his peers that he’s good now not naughty.

Original poster
Hallomi · 26/01/2021 17:19

@Orchidflower1 why would you he furious, you know they're siblings, they live together, walk to school holding hands?

@WombOfOnesOwn we'd have screamed ThATs sO CrUEl!!

@MrsAudreyShapiro I will speak to the school tomorrow and tell them. I don't really want to air my laundry but perhaps it's relevant.

OP posts:
Original poster
Hallomi · 26/01/2021 17:20

@Marcipex that is a brilliant Idea, will suggest this tomorrow

Everything is so so bleak

OP posts:
Mumofsend · 26/01/2021 17:21

School can't risk assess children in or out this time. He is 6 years old and its his brother.

formerbabe · 26/01/2021 17:24

Bribe him

Indecisive12 · 26/01/2021 17:24

At our school playtimes are staggered so that one class are going out as one is going in. I think will be a good thing if he stops playing with his brother as he will hopefully play more with his classmates and make friends there. My friends son was the same as yours and very close to his brother, it was only when they were physically separated at playtimes by having a fence between them that the youngest made friends. No advice other than talking to him about the importance of staying in his un own area on how to get there though.

JanuaryChill · 26/01/2021 17:28

It's not your dirty laundry though is it, it's your ex's? And telling school is so that they can support yr little bit through this.

Swipe left for the next trending thread