6 year old won't stay in his designated area of pg, ht threatened to take away place

[Hallomi]

I can't seem to drum it into my 6 year old to stay in his area of the playground, he keeps running over to hug and play with his brother. He always played with his big brother and friends before this happened. Picked them up today, and headteacher said if he keeps this up he will have his place taken away and won't be allowed back to school, said it was v tough on teachers just now and children must be extra good. Are anyone else's children struggling with this? I just keep calming explaining that he must stay away and stay within his side of the playground.

My DC’s playground uses the small PE cones to divide the playground and have done so since September when they all returned to school. I would definitely suggest this idea to the school. Also, I have every sympathy with your 6 year old. My youngest child had a rotten time when he was in reception due to other children being unkind to him and all he wanted was a cuddle from his big brother when he saw him at school. If your son is lonely at school, he will be looking for support from his brother, particularly as the teachers will be trying to social distance too. It’s really tough for the little ones at the moment.

I think the school could do more here. As a op suggested a chalk line would be a visual reminder to him and yes he could draw it himself. That might help

The rope/cone/ chalk ideas are all excellent. While your at it why not suggest removal of playtime ie standing with a adult as a consequence. They could try a partial loss initially then full loss if he continues.

Arg grammar fail😩

We are a large primary but still manage to keep each bubble separate at play times. We have barriers up to help make it clear in the biggest area, and the others are really clear bits that were already fenced off - eg basketball court. Playtimes are also staggered to reduce the chaos slightly.

School have to take some responsibility. If he can't manage it himself, a member of staff needs to be out with him during play to keep him in his bubble's space. School could look at moving their spaces further apart, or being at a slightly different time.

They have to meet him half way. He is a child FFS.

Could the school allow him to say hello to his brother at the start of playtime then they go to their separate areas? If he can’t stop himself running across to his brother, wouldn’t it be better for staff to allow a quick controlled greeting, then the boys go off to play separately and hopefully stay apart, using the visual reminder ideas suggested in previous posts.

If he is capable of good behaviour at home, all you can do,is keep telling him that he won't be able to go to school if he doesn't do what the teachers tell him to do. It must be hard for the teachers,to try and keep doing everything properly right now, as if every child was not doing the correct things, all the teachers would be going spare.

@Hallomi I’d be furious because of the increased risk of cross contamination by a young child who clearly needs some more support. Is he having any support in his bubble. It must be stressful for you.

I had to sign a Covid agreement for my children and expectations for behaviour are understandably much higher eg spitting was automatic exclusion. This was before lockdown too.

He’s 6 FGS! If he’s anything like mine, reminders go in one ear, and out the other especially when anything vaguely fun is going on.

The school needs to either stagger break times or put a physical barrier to prevent children from mixing.

Op this is something sad and perverse, but it is what this is

Can you bribe him, say you understand that it's not fair, it doesn't seem to make sense but that is life and we have this virus and if he makes a super effort not too, he will get a better reward?

I think the school really need to take responsibility here, not a 6 year old! Our school has barriers in place and staggered breaks, it’s not a massive school but they’ve managed it fine,

Absurd and obscene. These children will be traumatised. Parents really need to protect the mental health and development of their children instead of this capitulation to insanity.

Tbh, if siblings get too close in the playground we're not making an issue of it. They love together after all! And the rest of brother's bubble are exposed to brother anyway.

BTW a council person has often posted on here and said its actually not as easy as some schools make out to get rid of students and that there is a legal process to follow, no school would get away with chucking out a 6 year old wanting to hug his brother.

I think the head teacher is wrong in this situation. The child is 6, and obviously finding it hard to cope.
What will the head teacher do when the government say all kids are to be back to school and the child is still doing it? He can’t take a place away then can he? The head needs to find a solution in school, you have done as much as you can outside school.

And before anyone jumps on me yes the teachers are under strain I understand that, I have worked in schools myself many years ago and it was hard then let alone during these times.

At the least I'd expect the school to explore other options such as a visual barrier (or physical one) - it would remind him to stop much better than a teacher yelling after him when he's already forgotten.

So sad children are being disciplined for completely normal healthy behaviours. I shudder to think of the long term impact.

1. Ask them to make a visual reminder, line or roped off area with cones.
2. Tell them that if he is being defiant and refusing to follow instructions, they can keep him in at playtime.
3. Tell them that you will follow up with a consequence at home.

What does his "bad behaviour" otherwise consist of?

The school have staggered break times, so I think just 2 classes are out at a time, and those 2 happen to be youngest and eldest.

I will definitely push back. I'm going to try and find school policy for this, have trailed the school and local council website and can't find anything. I just want to read up to check the process.

I spoke to eldest and asked what happened...seems youngest went over to him, wanted a hug, then wanted to play, got told off, still wanted to play, throw snowball at eldest, got told off again and ran away to the edge of playground, eldest went to get him, headteacher came over and told 6yo that the school doesn't need to look after him right now, but it is doing it to help me so I can work, that teachers are volunteering to be there but if he can't behave he will have to call me and won't be allowed in...then told to sit on a bench, and eldest said she saw 6yo crying.

I think the ht is right to address his behaviour, as I did. But telling him, during all this, that he can have his school place taken away . Headteacher also said this to me in front of 6yo after school, that if he doesn't improve, no more school. He also leant down to 6yo and said this, and told him he is going to be keeping an extra big eye on him.

In normal times this would be a illegal exclusion and a example of not being able to meet his needs if he needs 1:1.
I think all that's gone out the window now with the SEND laws that protect around this. Not saying its SEND but that is normal law that would protect against this.

I cant offer any new help except to say that read up on illegal exclusions because if life ever goes back to normal, school can not legally ask you to keep your son at home because they cant manage his behaviour. Unless he is off rolled in which case the LA has to place him somewhere else

I think the school should put a visual prompt in place. We have ropes up in the playground and we are secondary.

That said, if he were to test positive, and he had been in close contact with the other year groups, your older son's bubble would have to isolate too. That would likely be many more families affected. So they have to weigh up the risks on balance.

There will probably be provision in the school's risk assessment for temporarily suspending students who can't behave safely. In normal times, they wouldn't be able to exclude for this, but in the current times they can say they can't meet his needs in school.

I would try to explain to him how serious the situation is, and make it clear that he must follow the rules. Give him sanctions at home for not doing so, and follow through. I know that will probably feel unfair, but if you need him in school, he will need to follow the rules.

I think if I were you I would go back to the school and ask what measures they have put in place to support your son to follow the rules as he is obviously finding it difficult. The school really needs to show they have done all they can to support him before excluding him. I know it's really hard for schools but they do still have responsibilities. Sanctions and punishment after each break time are obviously not working. He could draw his own chalk line at the beginning of break as a reminder. He could have a laminated picture cue card which he is shown at the beginning of break. A teacher or TA could give him a task, challenge or game to play during break to distract him for seeking out his brother.

Also, school should be helping him to manage this.
They should pick another child who might play with your ds, and get them to put out cones together.
This can easily be presented as a privilege eg ‘Now who has worked really well this morning...Jonny and miniHallomi...you can put your coats on and go out (2 minutes early) with Mrs TA.’
Another thing to do at home is colour STOP signs to take to school for the playground. (Cardboard box) and prime the teacher so that she’s ready to praise this effort as soon as she sees him.