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Covid

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Original poster

6 year old won't stay in his designated area of pg, ht threatened to take away place

135 replies

Hallomi · 26/01/2021 15:58

I can't seem to drum it into my 6 year old to stay in his area of the playground, he keeps running over to hug and play with his brother. He always played with his big brother and friends before this happened. Picked them up today, and headteacher said if he keeps this up he will have his place taken away and won't be allowed back to school, said it was v tough on teachers just now and children must be extra good. Are anyone else's children struggling with this? I just keep calming explaining that he must stay away and stay within his side of the playground.

OP posts:

notabirthday · 27/01/2021 01:10

This is a tough situation for you and the school. I'll share my experience - during the last lockdown, got my ds2, then age 8, back in school for a few weeks (late June - summer holidays) under vulnerability guises as we were struggling at home. He was in the process of being assessed for ASD / ADHD at the time and in normal times the school had a raft of provisions in place to support him after LOTS of SENCO meetings (he was a bit of an escape artist and had multiple internal and external 1-2 day exclusions). However when he was in this kw/ vulnerable bubble, school were very clear with both of us that if he couldn't remain in his bubble and was going to give them the run round school/ grounds then his place would be revoked immediately as they didn't have right or right numbers of staff on site to support his needs.

I utterly empathise with you going through this OP, it's awful living with such threats hanging over you both, and I hope some of these great strategies suggested will work with school to keep your ds2 in school and you get to keep your placement. Keep on pursuing the need for extra support with SENCO conversations too - we've had several meetings over zoom with external agencies this last year so it does happen.

LucyLockdown · 27/01/2021 01:18

Why is every bit of bad behaviour on here an SEN?

And why is it always assumed that children with SEN can't also follow rules? Or can't sometimes also be deliberately 'naughty'?

I don't think anyone is saying the child did wrong by impulsively running to his brother. It was when he was told to stop and then ignored the teacher and did it repeatedly that it sounds more like a behavioural issue. It's not fair if one child's behaviour means that a whole additional group of doctors, nurses, shop workers etc have to isolate because their kids' bubble burst due to a kid that wasn't even meant to be near them.

Some people have come up with some good ideas about visual reminders, if it really is about needing to be reminded rather than needing to do as he's told. (Yes I do have a child with severe SEN.) I hope it works out for you.

Longdistance · 27/01/2021 01:21

My dds are in school and are together in a bubble as they’re siblings.
The question is, why aren’t the breaks staggered to avoid situations like this?

NavyKitchen · 27/01/2021 01:24

This is such a sad post. What on Earth have we come to? This is a SIX year old we are talking about! A 6 year old who was struggling before all this Covid shit and now, with everything turned on its head, he wants to be with his big brother . He knows he has no friends. He is a tiny little boy. Grown adults are breaking lockdown every day. School should ABSOLUTELY be able to manage this! Stagger the break times, put them in the same bubble (let's be honest, schooling for all of us - home or otherwise - is just a 'place holder' at the moment), work with him to help his anxiety and build some friendship groups.
Shame on those of you blaming this baby...

Cheesecats · 27/01/2021 02:51

Our children 5 and 7 struggled with this. They couldn’t understand it but obeyed it. I nearly took them out of school because they enjoyed homeschooling but hated going back. They were distraught about it. In the end, they told me they sat chatting at the very edge of the boundary, neither crossing the bubbles., and kept away from other kids and the staff turned a blind eye. Realising that they weren’t crossing bubbles just sitting close to each other when they live together and share a room.

Could your school set something up where they play together but don’t cross bubbles. It’s not increasing risk if they live together.

And I say this as mega cautious person who tries to stick to rules but there must be a balance here.

Original poster

Hallomi · 27/01/2021 06:19

Thank you for your understanding replies.

I agree, I think all children do well when they can. I understand people's concerns about him bursting bubbles.

I've woken up feeling shaky and teary about it, I just want to wrap him up and take the time to properly source help. I can't bare to think about how difficult that will be.

Ds1 and ds2 are starting with a childminder this morning, their first morning, we have met and visited the house, but this probably won't help him right now. She will be taking them to school. My mum takes them on the days she is off work.

I will phone the school as soon as I get a chance. We live in Scotland, I looked up Senco and doesn't look like we have the same service. I've got the number for the Ed pysch so will phone that later.

OP posts:

Original poster

Hallomi · 27/01/2021 06:28

I read about provision of additional support and behavioural and emotional needs are included. I don't know of this needs to fall under a subcategory of an official diagnosis though. I had/have none of the issues as ds2. Ds2 just, at times, cannot seem to control his behaviour. But, one of the reasons GP snubbed him was because he is remorseful, often after an episode he will come to apologise without any prompting. Ds2 himself describes how he can't control himself sometimes, he says something takes over. We call it his monkey, say that the monkey is at helm driving his boat brain . There is no doubt he is struggling, but he has been told by a nursery and a school now that he might have to leave because he is bad.

OP posts:

Ritasueandbobtoo9 · 27/01/2021 06:32

I am pretty disgusted at the attitude of the school. This child is 6, he is looking for comfort from his brother. What are they doing to help him want to stay in his area? The attitude of the teacher says it all really. They need to step up and provide him with kindness.

yawnsvillex · 27/01/2021 06:35

How dare a child act like a human being.

Original poster

Hallomi · 27/01/2021 06:40

I thought maybe ds2 could bring his camera to school and take photos too, not including any children of course, but of the boundaries. Maybe he could have a sign for when he's feeling sad too that he could pop on his desk??

OP posts:

Seasaltyhair · 27/01/2021 07:12

@Ritasueandbobtoo9

I am too and some of the replies on here. Treating a six year old boy like a criminal, putting other people at risk for doing a completely natural thing - wanting to hug his brother.

There are so many solutions to this Yet the first go to is exclusion. It’s pathetic and show incredible lacking in his teacher.

Op pick your self up today - I’m not sure about the camera as it might be another excuse for them to kick off.

DietrichandDiMaggio · 27/01/2021 07:56

@Tickledtrout

The most obvious and child centred solution would be to move him into his brother's bubble. Why not, given that it's not really proper school anyway.

In my school all children are in year groups and doing the work set for that year group. We don't just give them a laptop and say work through the lessons in your own time. Each lesson is timetabled and the lesson part is gone through together, before the children get on with their independent work. So if the children have a chapter of a book to read before answering questions, it is read aloud in class and discussed, or in maths the teacher will talk through the slides/play videos etc. and then they do the independent work, supported by the teacher/TA. The children work in exactly the same classroom conditions as usual i.e. quietly and with purpose.

Ffsffsffsffsffs · 27/01/2021 08:21

@StacySoloman

Children at my dc school have been temporarily suspended for not following covid guidelines and it’s part of their behaviour policy now.

Same at mine too, and we have implemented it as well.

Original poster

Hallomi · 27/01/2021 08:24

@Ffsffsffsffsffs @StacySoloman what sort of behaviours have you suspended for ?

Do you support this, given what is going on and how much chikdren are affected?

OP posts:

Veryverycalmnow · 27/01/2021 08:28

Why on earth haven't they put cones down? Much clearer for younger ones? Not rocket science... You're doing your best.

starfish4 · 27/01/2021 08:28

Really hard on you, but the school will have had a few members of staff trying to explain and ask him to stay in the designated area, ie at least one lunchtime supervisor and then referral to the teacher/person on duty for their help. The school I work at would generally only involve a parent in something like this as a last resort and times are hard at the moment.

I'd have a chat with both DC. If the other one generally follows instructions they might keep away.

StacySoloman · 27/01/2021 09:12

[quote Hallomi]**@Ffsffsffsffsffs* @StacySoloman* what sort of behaviours have you suspended for ?

Do you support this, given what is going on and how much chikdren are affected?[/quote]
It’s my children’s school not mine so don’t know the details I’m afraid, just that it was ks1 children who repeatedly broke the covid behaviour policy which was something like - social distancing from staff and children, no coughing or spitting at/near others, remaining in their bubbles.

StacySoloman · 27/01/2021 09:14

I’d imagine suspending children is an absolute last resort though.

Countdowntonothing · 27/01/2021 15:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StacySoloman · 27/01/2021 16:02

Yes, the school have taken covid safety measures very seriously and I do think it has worked.

Countdowntonothing · 27/01/2021 16:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StacySoloman · 27/01/2021 16:10

They've put in lots of measures and have made the new behaviour expectations very clear to the children. As I said, a temporary suspension would be a last resort to keep everyone safe.

mummytolittledragons · 27/01/2021 16:13

Have you told him that if he cannot stick to the rules he will not be allowed to attend anymore?

Original poster

Hallomi · 27/01/2021 17:17

I spoke to his teacher (not his normal teacher, but seems just as lovely), she said ds2 does really well in class, and that he's always got a place there. She did agree that he plays by himself all the time and that he's lonely.

I suggested the chalk/cone idea and she said she would speak to deputy head and see what she thinks. Headteacher wasn't there, so I think I may just write an email tonight, I'd prefer to see/speak to him, but it may be more cathartic and easier for him to respond if it's in an email.

OP posts:

Original poster

Hallomi · 27/01/2021 17:25

@StacySoloman how old were the children? What measures did the school implement to support them first?

OP posts:

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