Friend saying she’s ignoring lock down from the end of the month.

[Covidcovid]

She’s always being very anti lockdown, citing mental health issues, etc and has just said from next week that’s it. She will do what she wants and take any fines.

I assume she just means visiting family because it’s not like she can go out for lunch or shopping. 🤷‍♀️

But I don’t understand her, she’s an intelligent person and an ex nurse. Her mum is currently very unwell in hospital with covid but she posted the other day that her mum has turned a corner and should hopefully be home soon. So surely she should see if it wasn’t for lockdown then there’s a risk people like her mum may not have got the treatment they needed because the hospitals would have likely being overwhelmed?

If it was me I’d be thankful there had been a lockdown because it wouldn’t have taken much more the way things were going for hospitals to not be able to,offer the current level of care......and in ICU even that isn’t optimal care with stretched ratios.

@TinyTinaTriesAgain

*not showing= now showing

Older people who are single can have a support bubble, as can anyone.

There is no one who has to be alone. The rules allow for mixing of single people.

People who break the rules are just selfish.

But not all people who are eligible for a support bubble have someone they can actually form a bubble with. I've seem plenty of people on MN who are eligible, but their friends are already bubbled with their own relatives, and their family are either too far away, or too vulnerable, or are in a job with involves lots of contact with people so too high risk to bubble with.

I can see her point. I'm going to stick to the rules for now, the government have said they need time to vaccinate the vulnerable and get hospital numbers down so I feel there is a justification for the rules at the moment.

I have to balance this against the fact my children haven't seen their grandparents since October though and that was just one quick visit. They haven't seen them properly since August.

They live 200 miles away. As we move into the spring I think the risk of my 77 year old (now vaccinated with a first dose) FIL dying without ever seeing his grandchildren or son again is a risk I won't be willing to accept anymore. My MIL is now crying every day because she wants to see us so badly. Obviously I'll have to assess how I feel at the time but I can well foresee a situation where I visit in March regardless of what the rules say.

To risk re infecting her mum is selfish and so worrying

We are not getting rid of coronavirus any time soon. Do you expect her elderly mum to never see her family ever again? Anyone with a rational brain would rather just take the risk.

@SophieB100

The irony of people acting like your friend OP, is that by 'breaking the rules' they will only achieve one thing for certain - making the 'rules' last far longer for everyone. So the thing they kick against - the lockdown - stays for longer than it would have done if they hadn't kicked out. People who say, but I want to do this, and that, and I want my kids in school, I want to see my mum, friends, go out etc., etc. need to realise that we all want this, every single one of us hates this. But in order to do the things we want, we have to put up with it and crack on with it. Then we'll get the freedoms we want sooner rather than later. It's horrible, it's soul destroying sometimes, but it has to be done. There is no alternative.

When youre constantly being informed on the news that there's no guarantee when lockdown will end, "oh it may be Feb, oh now Feb is looking unlikely, oh its March. No its Easter minimum....etc" no wonder people think well what's the point.

I know loads of people who are carrying on as normal. Visiting relatives. Small birthday dinner parties. Mooching round the few shops open. Near me there's a wilko range b and m and asda all within 5.mins so they meet once a week for a wander. If anyone asks 'they're a bubble'

A friend asked if she could come round the other day. I said no I'd meet for a walk. She said it's too cold but if anyone asks or reported we can say we're a bubble. I'm no I have a bubble!
My neighbours opposite have people coming and going all day so I know I wouldn't get 'grassed' on but I just still wouldn't do it.

I think they have perhaps a month before people start to simply ignore the rules on mass. They said the 15th February, I think past that unless they can offer carrots and optimism many will simply take their chances or use existing exemptions eg I could legitimately say I was going to my parents for care reasons, it's not that they need physical personal help but there's things they need sorting and I haven't been inside since Christmas 19. I also need to go back to my old house and get it ready for sale and pick up my last few items (divorce) it's costing us £1700 a month it sits empty but need to sign up with estate agent etc too

I'm getting close to having had enough tbh. I've followed the rules/laws to the letter since the start.
My father passed away in a care home in October and I'd been able to see him twice in 5 months (standing outside and wearing a mask, too far away to properly engage with him) and I haven't been able to have a hug from or grieve with my family.

Some people are close to crumbling

Making bold statements like these gives them a sense of taking some control in a situation in which they feel (and are) powerless

I feel quite close to falling into depression/despair at there being no end in sight

My rational self makes me stick to the rules, but my emotional self is going to pieces but my bit

I am fighting anxiety, panic attacks every day and it’s a hard battle (all brought on my lockdowns)

So I can understand her, even if my rational self does not agree

Calling her selfish or insinuating that her mental health struggles are insignificant may make you feel better temporarily but I think it's important to listen to your friend. She is struggling to the point she cannot cope anymore. Like hundreds of thousands of others. This is a mental health crisis and it is as valid as the pandemic. Try to be kind rather than judgemental.

I'm with your friend.

Truly have had enough. Its just going on and on, and the bashing of the public is driving me mad - it isn't our fault at all that the NHS are "overwhelmed" - they've been overwhelmed and at breaking point for years. Also truly fed up of seeing those horrendous videos of police arresting people for sitting on a bench or going for a coffee or being in someone else's house - all sense of perspective has gone completely out of the window.

Doesn’t surprise me many people are reaching their breaking points now. Last night I had had enough and was at mine. By Easter a lot of people will have had enough and rules will be broken by many. From Easter I shall be seeing family in my own home and visiting them.

"I assume she just means visiting family because it’s not like she can go out for lunch or shopping."
It sounds as if her mum being very unwell might be sparking that . A sort of 'make the most of the time you have with your family' reaction to potentially losing her mum.

"So surely she should see if it wasn’t for lockdown then there’s a risk people like her mum may not have got the treatment they needed because the hospitals would have likely being overwhelmed?"
And I'd be pointing that out to her next time she gave her 'ignoring lockdown' speech.

When youre constantly being informed on the news that there's no guarantee when lockdown will end, "oh it may be Feb, oh now Feb is looking unlikely, oh its March. No its Easter minimum....etc" no wonder people think well what's the point.
^^
True.
There's no guarantee when it will end. How could there be? The virus is dependent on people mixing. That's all it needs. People mixing. So, we are supposed to be limiting mixing. But, people like OPs friend, and people, like you say who think, "what's the point" who decide to mix with others, ensure one thing - the virus spreads. That's why there are no guarantees - the vaccine will do a lot to help, but ultimately, the virus will reduce enough for lockdown to be lifted, if people don't spread it. But some people seem intent on living as they want to (and we all want to get back to normal) and an end to lockdown. But that won't happen, you can't have both.

@RaggieDolls I really see no reason why you can't see your parents once they are vaccinated and they're officially protected. I went to see my over 60s mum and dad abroad when it was allowed. I don't understand some people haven't seen their family since March last year. There was plenty of opportunity when you could have seen people and it was all within the rules. I'm in London and only from around October did they stop household mixing indoors. I had a window and I took it where the travel corridor was still up and running. I will be doing the same thing again if things lift this time. And if they don't lift, I will take matters into my own hands and buy myself some antigen tests and do them / isolate etc to reduce the risk. It's really dragging on now and I'm not willing to go on like this forever.

Honestly I have been scared from the start and very strict with safety, but the past few days I’ve been having thoughts about visiting family. The main thing stopping me is one of them works in a supermarket (albeit night shifts with a small team) - we don’t see anyone at all so the risk from us to them is minuscule. One that job ends and she is working remotely, I might change my mind.

@sarahc336

Oh dear. Don't people like your friend realise the whole bloody country feel this exact way, it's not like we actively enjoy sitting in our houses and not seeing loved ones. Why does she and others like her feel they're untitled to break the rules whilst the rest of us stay at home? If we all broke the rules the nhs would just collapse. People like this just annoy me and I think I'd struggle to stay friends with sometime with that level of selfishness tbh. And quoting mental health, doesn't she think that by now most of the population are struggling in the exact same way? She's not that special now is she 😏

Exactly! I am afraid your friend is being selfish and irresponsible. Why is she so 'special'?

She can only visit the friends that actually also want to meet up with her though. All her plans to do what she likes very much depend on whether other people are also happy to disregard the rules.

I’ve had enough now- the press conference yesterday has pushed me to think fuck it, we are never getting out of this and it’s no way to live.

Don't blame her. It's been nearly a year. We've had countless lockdowns and restrictions and as it goes - the situation is worse now despite all that.

The only reason I stick to the rules is because of where I work and I don't want to take the virus to work. This said my kids go to playgrounds and they're full, Literally full to the brim of school kids who are all playing together -every one we go to is full. So it's not like schools being shut makes much difference around here as all the kids are playing anyway. I see kids playing in the streets the whole time.
People are fed up and pissed off. I have no issues with people breaking rules that have been around for a year and quite clearly aren't particularly effective.

She’s an idiot and I’d steering clear of her

People like her make this worse and longer for everyone. Why is she so special that the rules don’t apply to her anymore?
I’d love to get back to normal I want my children back in school I want to see my parents and my niece and nephew who I haven’t seen in over a year and I want them to see their grandchildren and cousins as my children are upset regularly because they haven’t seen them but we are at the other side of the country and none of us can travel.

It’s shit but if more people act in their own interests then it prolongs it for everyone

Even the elderly and vulnerable have only a small.chance of dying from covid, even if she did pass it to them.

We’re going to have to get school situation dealt with before so many start mixing privately.

I do think that once vulnerable are vaccinated it’s going to be harder ask of public. What could they say to stop people?

@OnlyFoolsnMothers

I’ve had enough now- the press conference yesterday has pushed me to think fuck it, we are never getting out of this and it’s no way to live.

The press conference yesterday was just awful - truly depressing. I too thought that we are never, ever going to overcome this thing. However, I will carry on abiding by the rules a) until I get the vaccine, b) because I am very frightened of catching it and c) to protect other people.

I do feel extremely down, though.

@RoseAndRose

I really don't understand why people want to act in ways that will prolong lockdown, let alone why they would tell everyone that's what they're going to do.

Can she not see how selfish and antisocial it would be?

But the thing is we've been told for almost a year now if we follow the rules then we'll be out of this mess quicker. But that doesn't seem to be the case - Boris intimated just last week that these restrictions could go on until the summer. People are fed up of this government's incompetence and lies so I don't blame people for having enough.

I'm not thankful for being locked indoors for 12 months

I'm not grateful for having to work from home with kids present

I'm not grateful for my kids education being disrupted

I'm not grateful for the assorted stress and anxiety we are all suffering from

I'm not grateful for not seeing family

I'm not grateful for having nothing to do apart from grocery shop and watch tv

Your friend has had enough, she's not alone