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Original poster

Friend saying she’s ignoring lock down from the end of the month.

999 replies

Covidcovid · 23/01/2021 07:56

She’s always being very anti lockdown, citing mental health issues, etc and has just said from next week that’s it. She will do what she wants and take any fines.

I assume she just means visiting family because it’s not like she can go out for lunch or shopping. 🤷‍♀️

But I don’t understand her, she’s an intelligent person and an ex nurse. Her mum is currently very unwell in hospital with covid but she posted the other day that her mum has turned a corner and should hopefully be home soon. So surely she should see if it wasn’t for lockdown then there’s a risk people like her mum may not have got the treatment they needed because the hospitals would have likely being overwhelmed?

If it was me I’d be thankful there had been a lockdown because it wouldn’t have taken much more the way things were going for hospitals to not be able to,offer the current level of care......and in ICU even that isn’t optimal care with stretched ratios.

OP posts:
MaxNormal · 23/01/2021 13:54

I would say you were the one with relative privilege. Get a grip and stop being dramatic.

It's posts like that that long ago sapped my goodwill and any desire to make sacrifices for the greater good.

User133847 · 23/01/2021 13:57

They can ignore it all they like, but there's nowhere to go, is there?

Yeah you'll get more house gatherings again, but people have been in and out of each others houses throughout this shitshow anyway.

southeastdweller · 23/01/2021 13:57

No, if it was face to face (ha ha) I’d be more inclined to but I know stuff can be misconstrued over texts/facebook and ive no desire to fall out with her.

So just call her?

TheKeatingFive · 23/01/2021 14:00

I cba with that question. It’s pointless.

Lol.

It’s about excellent question

You can’t answer it in a way thats both true and fits your narrative.

DishingOutDone · 23/01/2021 14:02

When you read about this poor woman on her knees caring for her family and now she's taken a downturn ...:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/coronavirus/4130758-DH-just-tested-positive-but-we-have-3-DCs-who-are-clinically-extremely-vulnerable

Lastbonestanding · 23/01/2021 14:04

I hope she is alright if her mental health is suffering with lockdown. She should not have to sacrifice her mental health because some have prioritised the health of other people.

shindiggery · 23/01/2021 14:06

How is that hard of thinking

If you don't do it on the basis that others won't do it and there's nothing special about you, others are probably doing the same, for the same reasons. This makes you and others like you the cause of what you're saying is an inevitable result. Doubtless collective behavioural changes are difficult to maintain partly because you can abdicate individual responsibility on the basis that others are doing the same but this does not mean you have no control, it means you share control and are actively engaged in using that in a particular direction.

MrsAmaretto · 23/01/2021 14:07

Well maybe she's just decided to risk assess for her own situation?

There are other killer diseases and hazards out there which we take precautions against and manage the risks.

What this second lockdown has shown me is that I became complacent and actually need to ingrained some behaviours into my families live in order to keep us safe going forward. But I want to be able to make those decisions myself.

midgebabe · 23/01/2021 14:08

The people whose mental health is taking a bashing are the medics having to treat people and Hold the hands of the dying

The rest of us are being asked to do nothing. How would you feel if when nurses turn round and said I can't cope, I'm not doing it anymore ? Like why should they bother if we won't?

And don't say I'm not being asked to do nothing, ive had to loose my job , because the longer this goes on the more jobs will be lost forever

ikeairgin · 23/01/2021 14:09

I would just like to say I'm really fed up and haven't seen my Dad (80) for over a year now as he's in West Wales and we're in England (and every holiday I've booked off to see him has either been he's in lockdown or we are )

I have to book holiday a year in advance and there's very little scope to shift it around so there we are. I'm also abiding by the rules, my kids are abiding by the rules and so is my husband. But we really are fed up - my MIL is in a care home and we managed to get her "srung" out for one afternoon in August - luckily she is local so my husband can go and shout through the window at her

I mind my own business - what others are up to is on their concience

midgebabe · 23/01/2021 14:10

Still the selfish on display is helping me cope . I will do the right thing and be proud,
Please let this be over soon, don't make it worse than it need be

rookiemere · 23/01/2021 14:11

@midgebabe we are absolutely not being asked to do nothing. We are being asked to stop our DCs from seeing their friends in critical developmental years, and they are receiving a reduced education. We are being asked not to see our relatives or friends except in limited circumstances outside. We are being asked to wfh for extended periods.

It is what it is. But don't tell me it's nothing.

hexonthebeach · 23/01/2021 14:13

@Frenchdressing

Not to the same extent and not to the point where the NHS is overcome. Although I appreciate it has come close.
If that suits your narrative
TheKeatingFive · 23/01/2021 14:14

This makes you and others like you the cause of what you're saying is an inevitable result.

Exactly. I’m not saying anything different.

But given I can help my child right now by letting him play with a friend, clearly that’s a more rational course of action for me than relying on hundreds of thousands of others to act for the collective good, which I have no control over.

Cecily42 · 23/01/2021 14:15

I just wonder what the alternative is. If people stop following the rules and give the virus free reign. What do we do with sick and dying when hospitals are full? Put them in the bin? Hmm

southeastdweller · 23/01/2021 14:15

@midgebabe

The people whose mental health is taking a bashing are the medics having to treat people and Hold the hands of the dying

The rest of us are being asked to do nothing. How would you feel if when nurses turn round and said I can't cope, I'm not doing it anymore ? Like why should they bother if we won't?

And don't say I'm not being asked to do nothing, ive had to loose my job , because the longer this goes on the more jobs will be lost forever

And its shitty attitudes like yours that means that mental health in the UK will always be the 'poor relation' to physical health.
ddl1 · 23/01/2021 14:20

How many of you have felt guilty all the winters prior to 2020 that you might have asymptomatically passed on the flu to someone who ended up dying from it?

Me.

In my youth, I was very clinically vulnerable, and my father considerably more so, as he was on chemo. I was very frightened of becoming seriously ill myself, but even more so of causing serious illness or death to my father. I remember sitting in my room at college (when others of my age were probably enjoying parties, etc.) and gettiing pleasure from slowly breathing in and out, and thinking to myself, 'Even if I have germs, and breathe them all out, I can't harm my father by doing so here!'

Years later, I was in rather better health myself, but again worried about giving flu to my mother who was in her 90s and had infirmities associated with old age.

I can't say that I was as worried about infecting random strangers as about my parents; but I did in general seek to be careful about avoiding the flu.

In any case, the flu is less contagious and has a lower mortality rate than Covid.

hexonthebeach · 23/01/2021 14:23

Midgebabe, what a ridiculous notion, that no one else can have struggles unless they are NHS staff

What a overly simplistic stupid viewpoint

We all have mental health

It's who we are

We are all on a fragile equilibrium with it, and you clearly have no empathy, other than what the daily mail tells you

User2921 · 23/01/2021 14:27

@midgebabe

Still the selfish on display is helping me cope . I will do the right thing and be proud, Please let this be over soon, don't make it worse than it need be
How is seeing 'the selfish on display?' helping you cope? I would have thought that if you are committed to following the rules, and thought it the right thing to do, it would be difficult for you to see others not complying?
dingit · 23/01/2021 14:32

Hmmm, is this another thread to test the public's thinking? If not I expect the daily fail to use it Grin

MarshaBradyo · 23/01/2021 14:34

@midgebabe

The people whose mental health is taking a bashing are the medics having to treat people and Hold the hands of the dying

The rest of us are being asked to do nothing. How would you feel if when nurses turn round and said I can't cope, I'm not doing it anymore ? Like why should they bother if we won't?

And don't say I'm not being asked to do nothing, ive had to loose my job , because the longer this goes on the more jobs will be lost forever

It’s not only this group is it?
Remmy123 · 23/01/2021 14:34

I don't blame her.

I've been seeing my mum and brother throughout... there was NO way I'd ever stop them seeing me or their grandkids/nieces .

We are all fine.

I'm sorry but keeping people away from thier parents is wrong. Just as likely / more likely to pick it up in a supermarket.

midgebabe · 23/01/2021 14:35

Makes me feel that I want to be better than other people

May not be nice but anything to make this living hell easier

Pepperxo · 23/01/2021 14:41

I've been seeing my best friend throughout this lockdown, I don't see my parents or any other relatives as its risky we are fit in our 20s so very unlikely to die of covid . I'm not really bothered if it's against the rules, the last one nearly broke me, it's totally unnatural to not have some support outside of the home.

I didn't take a key worker place last time and my DDs mental health declined because of the lack of social interaction with peers her own age she's an only child.
I've put her in school this time what a difference and I will see my friend I'm not willing to negotiate on that.

rookiemere · 23/01/2021 14:41

Some people live in a very black and white world.

What if it's a nurse or doctor breaking lockdown rules - are they superheroes then or flouting scum ?

What about Captain Tom putting all those steps in for the NHS - brilliant - National Hero, and then decided on a fun trip to Barbados - unnecessary foreign travel, so therefore selfish.

I think most of us are just trying to make the best of this, and even if we're not shouting at us, or minimising length and impact of these restrictions is unlikely to make people change behaviour.