Is anyone else going to find things going back to normal difficult?

[Makinganewthinghappen]

I know that most people are hating lockdown and have struggled and I don’t want this thread to come across as being insensitive to that - so I apologise if it does.

I have 2 children who are autistic. My children have been home educated for years so that’s not been an issue for us. Over the last year demands on us as a family have disappeared. There has been no pressure to take the children to groups and activities to help the socialize, nobody has randomly popped in disrupting the routine, appointments that can over the phone have been. We have been going out places but very limited places - the beach or the park for example.

The anxiety level in my house has plummeted.
I KNOW we can’t hide away forever, the children have to go places, we have to see people. I realised when reading threads on here that when people are talking joyfully about a return to normality and wave of dread sweeps over me.

I am starting to come up with a plan to gradually get them used to things again. Short meet ups in familiar places, and little trips to more crowded places.

I was just wondering if anyone else was going to have to do this sort of thing? I actually feeling quite worried about it.

Life and it’s demands will resume. Consider which things are non negotiable/essential and then choose things that male your children happy. If they don’t want groups and socialising, do they really have to?

Yep.
I’m quite liking hanging around at home, not feeling that I should do something or go somewhere.
Going back to work is going to be hard too as I’d just had two weeks off for Xmas.

I agree with Lifeispassingby

Life- I do have to take them to some groups. When you home educated the local authority ask for a report of what you do once a year and one of the big ones is socialisation. This year we could say everything’s shut! But most years they expect you to attend a few “social” things a week. If they don’t see that they can force you to send your children back to school.

@Makinganewthinghappen

I get what you are saying and think the same about some things we used to do pre-pandemic too.

I did feel like this but have had enough now.
Do not want to return to previous fast life tho. Id like a compromise.

I keep watching films/tv shows where there's so many people in a room, no social distancing etc and it makes me feel really uncomfortable even though I know it was filmed before there was a risk. Not sure how I'd feel about going into a busy shop/pub now even if they tell us it's safe.

Absolutely not. I can't wait to be at a festival or crowded pub again. I'd be happy to do it now.

You don’t have to give a report to the LA if you’re home educated!! Also, explaining why they don’t attend groups should be sufficient if you do want to give info to the LA.

However, i do think that the children need opportunities to practise social skills in small consistent groups, so play dates etc might have to resume. Which is something I dread.

That aside, I completely get where you’re coming from. I totally felt the same in the first lockdown. I’m also autistic. But this time the demands on us are much greater. We find video calls difficult. The children do attend school (used to home Ed) and the demands from school in this lockdown are massive, including live teaching which feels like a real intrusion into our home and the children hate and melt down about. So that’s cured me and this time I am looking forward to normality!

A bit like this ? Good luck op. It’s gonna be odd in lots of ways.

There's a lot I am looking forward to going back to normal, but I'm dreading the order to go back into the office 5 days a week. We've proven how effective we can be working from home, the cost to the company is reduced and my stress levels have plummeted. As a single mum, I have a far better work life balance and balancing work and childcare is much more manageable and less stressful. If anything, communication between team members has improved as we're all making more of an effort but our company takes a good day's work about modern workplace but the undercurrent is that as our director preferred to be in the office, we all should be as well.

I miss some parts of “normal” life and know I will enjoy it again once it resumes, my lockdown life is very full on due to work but the non-work part is obviously very slow, neither are a healthy balance and right now I would probably choose to stay at home as I can’t see how I could add in all the “normal” out of home stuff at the moment without it breaking me but I think the reality is that “normal” life but making an effort to not run around quite as much as I was is the better lifestyle and will gradually sort the work balance out after a while

I think realisation for a lot of people will come that normality is rubbish as well (for a lot of people). Busy, stressful lives and long commutes, poor work/life balance etc.

Not everyone was happy in in 2019.

Agree with @Waxonwaxoff0

Although, my work normally involves a lot of travelling, but 2020 has proved that we can do our job remotely for the most part. I'm hopeful that our customers will agree so that most of my work will remain home based. There wouldn't be a requirement to return to the office except for the odd meeting anyway.

Nope, I cannot wait.

However, if this way of life suits you, then you don’t have to give it up. Use this as an opportunity to rethink your lifestyle.

You don’t have to give a report to the LA if you’re home educated!! Also, explaining why they don’t attend groups should be sufficient if you do want to give info to the LA.

Her children may have EHCPs.

Hugs OP. Autistic twins here who recently started specialist school but not currently attending as isolating. They are really struggling with it, but I imagine if the opposite were true I would be worried about it changing too.

I hope some things stay so meetings and training online, people not going out when ill, distance between strangers etc.

I want to do a few things I did before but don’t want to get back to normal until the virus has pretty much gone so it’s safe or all adults have the choice of the vaccine.

One thing I would like to see less of is unnecessary business travel abroad that could be done over Zoom.

There's plenty of things I miss for myself but it's been fantastic for DS(7) who has ASD and ADHD.
The opportunity to follow his own interests and work at pace to suit his (very short) attention span has improved his learning no end.

@FromTheAshes

There's a lot I am looking forward to going back to normal, but I'm dreading the order to go back into the office 5 days a week. We've proven how effective we can be working from home, the cost to the company is reduced and my stress levels have plummeted. As a single mum, I have a far better work life balance and balancing work and childcare is much more manageable and less stressful. If anything, communication between team members has improved as we're all making more of an effort but our company takes a good day's work about modern workplace but the undercurrent is that as our director preferred to be in the office, we all should be as well.

I am exactly in this position, a lone parent who pre Covid was commuting 3 days a week , it was a 3 hour round trip. In September 2019 my request to increase my home working days from 2 to 3 was refused. I have now worked from home entirely since February - it has reduced my stress levels, my daughter is now in childcare for 15 hours a week less which is so much better for her, my productivity is up. I don’t want to go back to the office. Obviously it’s harder at the moment with schools closed but if they are open then it’s much easier for me to work at home alone then in a crowded office and I communicate better by video chatting with colleagues and clients this trying to find a quiet place to work My daughter misses socialising with other children but I didn’t not really miss it. I phone the people I want to talk to. When things open up again I am going to try and hold onto the sower pace of life.

No, definitely looking forward to normality and the freedoms it brings...even though I believe true pre-covid times are a long way off.

If this lifestyle suits then you need to consider ways you could allow this to continue.

I'm dreading it. I have gone from leaving my house at 6 am every morning and returning at 6,30pm, my children being minded after school outside the home and having to fit dinner, housework and time with the kids into a couple of hours before bed to getting up at 7am, doing an hours yoga, logging on to work in the same room, getting kids up and out, working and cleaning in between meetings, having dd home for lunch, ds home to a warm house at 3 and dd home at 4, walking downstairs to make dinner and then having the evening to relax. My quality of life has improved beyond measure.

I can't wait to get back to 'normality' whenever that might be.

I want my teenage children to be back at school and seeing friends, going to their couple of clubs, and for me and DH to be back at the office, although a mix would be nice.

I want gigs and meals out, seeing family, cinema and pubs. I'm not a gardening or walking type, so miss socialising.

I think going back to work and seeing and mingling with people again will be a massive culture shock. We've all wfh since the start so will not have actually seen each other for a year.

Personally I am loving life right now, no demands, no worrying about time and rushing about, no visitors, I could quite happily continue. Obviously I have to go to work, but everything is so much simpler.