Is anyone else going to find things going back to normal difficult?

[Makinganewthinghappen]

I know that most people are hating lockdown and have struggled and I don’t want this thread to come across as being insensitive to that - so I apologise if it does.

I have 2 children who are autistic. My children have been home educated for years so that’s not been an issue for us. Over the last year demands on us as a family have disappeared. There has been no pressure to take the children to groups and activities to help the socialize, nobody has randomly popped in disrupting the routine, appointments that can over the phone have been. We have been going out places but very limited places - the beach or the park for example.

The anxiety level in my house has plummeted.
I KNOW we can’t hide away forever, the children have to go places, we have to see people. I realised when reading threads on here that when people are talking joyfully about a return to normality and wave of dread sweeps over me.

I am starting to come up with a plan to gradually get them used to things again. Short meet ups in familiar places, and little trips to more crowded places.

I was just wondering if anyone else was going to have to do this sort of thing? I actually feeling quite worried about it.

I am worried about it, I've been on Mat leave for pretty much the duration and so very isolated. I am noticing that I find it hard to hold a conversation now? It's like I can't do small talk anymore, and my words come out very fast then my brain gets tired and I end up with kind of glazed eyes and can't think of what to say after only a few minutes of talking. I don't know what it will be like to go back to a full on busy job, in close proximity to lots of people in the office? And I have never left DD and she has never been around anyone other than me and DH.

I think if your work life has changed you might not be so keen to go back to commuting etc. I work out of the home in a factory so my working life has not changed at all.

I can't wait to go back to the office I don't think will be until the autumn but cannot wait give me a train delay over this shit any day

Yes. I'm a lifelong introvert and I much prefer my own company to going to visit friends and family, going to the pub etc etc. I'm about as far from a social butterfly as it is possible to get, and enforced communal jollity is something I'm so glad to see the back of.

If you are an introvert why do you keep accepting invitations to do things?

Admittedly, I'm not an introvert, but I am older than most of you, and feel that life is too short to spend it doing things you dislike (assuming they aren't things you have to do, like work)

Yeah really anxious about having to go back into an office. Have a lot of health conditions, and am struggling even more since having covid, but just about managing part time from home. Am dreading having to go back to the office given how unwell I am..I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I'm spending a lot of time worrying about it.

I like a lot of the new normal. I preferred it when we were not in full lockdown of course. But I liked meeting up with one friend at a time for a walk and a coffee or lunch instead of lots of people for a night out. I liked meeting families outside on a beach for a fire and a walk instead of having to clean the house and make dinner for people coming over. I like it that we are spending more time outside as a family. I like going to the park for the afternoon with another family then coming home to watch a movie and eat dinner. I like saving money on days out and trips that were usually quite stressful for me as the organiser.
I am quieter and more introverted than the rest of my family so it’s suited me to have this way of life. For my children’s sake I’d like them to be able to have friends over (although I don’t really like play dates) and I’d like to go on holiday somewhere slightly warmer but there’s lots of things in this new normal I’d like to keep and will try to.
I also like not rushing from one place to another and working between home and office is nice too.
I have been lucky in that I have plenty of friends to meet up with outside and live in a fairly low case rural area so it’s not been as bad as it has for lots of people.
I have to say though that I would go back to normal right away just to get this anxiety and stress away for everyone though.

Can't wait for normal! I like the wfh bit sometimes but I crave people, being in a crowded bar, the hustle bustle of the market etc. Gigs, meals out and I want to see Dd2 who I've seen once since August, she's only 19

I can completely understand why it will be a struggle for a lot of people. For me there are some things I'm looking forward to but others that I would gladly continue to go without. I'm a bit of a germaphobe (always have been) so I find I have to suck it up a bit to go to soft plays etc anyway. I can imagine I will struggle with that even more after this. I don't mind mud/animal dirt etc at all but people germs give me the creeps. That said, the first chance I get to go for a Michelin star meal and have a spa day, I will be there!

If you are an introvert why do you keep accepting invitations to do things?

I never get this either. I'd consider myself an introvert, and if I don't want to socialise with people, well, I don't. I'm sure they'll get by without my sparkling personality. I guess some people might feel obliged to attend work social events now and then, but it's not a regular thing. If you prefer your own company, then that's your choice.

I’m changing jobs because I can’t bear the thought of going into the office again.

I'm an introvert too but I dont get what is there to dread? You can always continue to live how you wish. Not answer the door. Not socialise. Go to woodlands when everyone's at the beach etc.

The thing is, if you like a quieter life you can choose to live that way once nornal resumes. If you do things you dislike because you feel pressured into it, more fool you. I don't attend any social event that I don't want to.

@Waxonwaxoff0

The thing is, if you like a quieter life you can choose to live that way once nornal resumes. If you do things you dislike because you feel pressured into it, more fool you. I don't attend any social event that I don't want to.

That's what I always think when I read all these posts about enjoying 'the quiet pace of life'. That pace of life was - for the most part - available to you before and will be even if the rest of us go back to normal. People will survive if you decline their invitations.

I struggle a lot with social situations, busy places and seeing people in groups in general. I previously pushed myself to do so, but I don't think I will anymore. I have rather enjoyed not having to force myself and the general lack of pressure of the past year. Socialising doesn't make me any happier. I will continue to make myself take my children to busy places that they like, once I can again, but that's it. No more forced socialising; I'm not going to return to normal.

Iced - I suppose it is to a certain extent. I suppose it’s just the realisation that some things are not totally necessary is alien to me!

Like the kids doing scouts/Cubs etc I was told so many times by people that they needed to get used to being in groups that I dragged them there even though they clearly hated it and it put a huge amount of stress on me.

I suppose it’s the worry that by NOT forcing them to do things it will somehow make their social
Issues worse.

@IcedPurple

If you prefer your own company, then that's your choice

I think it's more about other people's expectations. As currently there's no expectations regarding social 'chores', it's a relief for some.

There are things I miss and things I most definitely do not miss.

I like the slower pace of life if you can call it that. I like not feeling obliged to going somewhere and doing something every bloody day. I am glad the morning and evening rush is no more. I'm glad I don't have to deal with quite so many people in my life anymore. There are some people who I am reevaluating in my life.

I do think it's funny that suddenly overnight a lot of barriers to things like phone appointments, WFH, online deliveries etc disappeared when they needed to.

But I miss going out. Even just travelling to go for a walk, going to the cinema, going out for a meal. We really noticed those things missing at Christmas.

I'm just thankful we are one of the lucky households and my ability to feed and home my children doesn't depend on things going back to normal.

@Makinganewthinghappen

I suppose it’s the worry that by NOT forcing them to do things it will somehow make their social issues worse

Yes, I think sometimes it's difficult to find the right balance

No I can imagine it and how it will feel and am keen to get back to it

[quote trulydelicious]@IcedPurple

If you prefer your own company, then that's your choice

I think it's more about other people's expectations. As currently there's no expectations regarding social 'chores', it's a relief for some.[/quote]
But why feel the need to live up to "expectations" from others at all? Live your life the way YOU want to.

[quote trulydelicious]@IcedPurple

If you prefer your own company, then that's your choice

I think it's more about other people's expectations. As currently there's no expectations regarding social 'chores', it's a relief for some.[/quote]
But the option to turn down invitations was always there. OK, maybe not for the occasional work event or important family gathering, but if someone really sees socialising as a 'chore' I doubt they're great company and those who actually enjoy being with each other would get along very well without their presence.

@IcedPurple

I doubt they're great company and those who actually enjoy being with each other would get along very well without their presence

That's a bit harsh. I mean sometimes you are not particularly in the mood to do something but do it anyway so as to not hurt other people's feelings (family, close friends that you care about)..Well, I do anyway. I can see one needs to learn to say 'no' and not feel bad about it

[quote trulydelicious]@IcedPurple

I doubt they're great company and those who actually enjoy being with each other would get along very well without their presence

That's a bit harsh. I mean sometimes you are not particularly in the mood to do something but do it anyway so as to not hurt other people's feelings (family, close friends that you care about)..Well, I do anyway. I can see one needs to learn to say 'no' and not feel bad about it[/quote]
Well yes. We all do things we don't want to do so as to make those we care about happy. But are these self-declared loners really so in demand as to be inundated by unwanted invitations all the time? I doubt it.

This way of life works for you all. Is there any reason you must change it? Can you make a few necessary adjustments when you have to but keep as many of the good changes as possible? (Online appointments, fewer social engagements etc.)