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Original poster

Would you take your elderly mum to Sainsbury's

870 replies

Icequeen01 · 12/01/2021 18:15

So I'm in such a quandary about this. My DM who is 81 has had both her jabs. She hasn't been out for weeks and weeks and I do her shopping each week when I do mine. She has told me she is coming with me to Sainsbury's next week as it will then be over a week since her booster. She knows she has to wear a mask, hand sanitise and socially distance etc.

I'm still not comfortable with taking her though. I've explained that they don't know if she can still transmit the virus but this is something she desperately wants to do, just to have a little bit of normality again and to be able to do her own shopping. She was very upset when I suggested she shouldn't come.

What would you do?

OP posts:
maddy68 · 13/01/2021 20:58

Yes I would she must be so looking forward to going outside. She's had her Jabs

caringcarer · 13/01/2021 21:25

The vaccine is only 94 per cent of Biontec not 100 percent and AstraZenica is only 90 percent I think. Don't risk her. Today over 1500 people died. Keep your Mum safe until effects of lockdown kick in and cases go down. Hopefully only a few more weeks. Take her for a car ride locally. Stop let her get out and walk about with mask on. You Mum is precious don't put her at risk.

Mif4 · 13/01/2021 21:29

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

VinylDetective · 13/01/2021 21:36

Living is more than just not being dead @caringcarer.

saraclara · 13/01/2021 21:48

@caringcarer

The vaccine is only 94 per cent of Biontec not 100 percent and AstraZenica is only 90 percent I think. Don't risk her. Today over 1500 people died. Keep your Mum safe until effects of lockdown kick in and cases go down. Hopefully only a few more weeks. Take her for a car ride locally. Stop let her get out and walk about with mask on. You Mum is precious don't put her at risk.
OPs mum is an adult capable of making her own decisions. She is not OP's child.

The only thing she needs from OP is a lift to the shop. Not her permission. She's a grown up FFS.

caringcarer · 13/01/2021 21:51

My niece is a ICU nurse. She had a lady in with Covid who had been indoors since August. Her dd took her to see Xmas lights and get s takeaway coffee. Now she is fighting for her life. They don't think she will make it. She has no underlying poor health but is 76. If she had just waited until vaccine or Vivid levels dropped before going out she would be safe at home. The woman's dd can't get over it was she who took her Mum out and her brother won't even speak to her now he is so angry with her. He had been doing their Mum's shopping do she did not have to go out. From feeling unwell to bring in ICU only took under 4 weeks. The one little trip will most likely cost her life.

twinklespells · 13/01/2021 21:52

This will be problematic if everyone with a vaccine starts going back to 'normal' or bending rules. We don't know if they can still transmit the virus. Most of us have been abiding by the rules and it will really cheese me off if people who are vaccinated start ignoring the rules whilst actually contributing to transmission for those of us so low down the pecking order we have no idea when we might get a vaccination.

No I would not take her. If she can go by herself and feels comfortable doing so now then fine. But it isn't essential shopping if you both go.

MadameBlobby · 13/01/2021 21:53

@caringcarer

My niece is a ICU nurse. She had a lady in with Covid who had been indoors since August. Her dd took her to see Xmas lights and get s takeaway coffee. Now she is fighting for her life. They don't think she will make it. She has no underlying poor health but is 76. If she had just waited until vaccine or Vivid levels dropped before going out she would be safe at home. The woman's dd can't get over it was she who took her Mum out and her brother won't even speak to her now he is so angry with her. He had been doing their Mum's shopping do she did not have to go out. From feeling unwell to bring in ICU only took under 4 weeks. The one little trip will most likely cost her life.
Except the OP’s mum is fully vaccinated so not similar at all.
TheKeatingFive · 13/01/2021 21:53

If she had just waited until vaccine

THe OP’s mother has waited until the vaccine.

I’m getting very worried for people’s reasoning and comprehension on here tbh.

saraclara · 13/01/2021 21:55

@twinklespells

This will be problematic if everyone with a vaccine starts going back to 'normal' or bending rules. We don't know if they can still transmit the virus. Most of us have been abiding by the rules and it will really cheese me off if people who are vaccinated start ignoring the rules whilst actually contributing to transmission for those of us so low down the pecking order we have no idea when we might get a vaccination.

No I would not take her. If she can go by herself and feels comfortable doing so now then fine. But it isn't essential shopping if you both go.

She's not ignoring the rules. She's going food shopping.

I’m getting very worried for people’s reasoning and comprehension on here tbh.
Me too @TheKeatingFive

TheKeatingFive · 13/01/2021 21:56

You Mum is precious don't put her at risk.

Can we quit talking about older people like they’re possessions thanks? It’s terribly disrespectful.

She’s a grown ass woman, capable of making her own decisions.

charliespie · 13/01/2021 22:00

Take her for a car ride locally. Stop let her get out and walk about with mask on. You Mum is precious don't put her at risk.

She is a grown adult with capacity, not a bloody toddler Hmm

QuantumQuality · 13/01/2021 22:00

She’s had the full course of a highly efficacious vaccine. She’ll be wearing a mask and social distancing. She hasn’t been anywhere for months. If you won’t take her to Sainsbury’s, get her a taxi to M and S and a massive gift voucher.

I’m happy for both of you, can’t wait for my parents to have had theirs.

QuantumQuality · 13/01/2021 22:04

@twinklespells going to the shop while wearing a mask and social distancing is fully within the rules.

saraclara · 13/01/2021 22:13

@TheKeatingFive

You Mum is precious don't put her at risk.

Can we quit talking about older people like they’re possessions thanks? It’s terribly disrespectful.

She’s a grown ass woman, capable of making her own decisions.

I couldn't agree more. How the hell is this happening? Pages and pages of people who think they get to control what their parents can do?

This is actually emotionally abusive. If a man was controlling his wife this way, MN would be erupting.

nottoday3000 · 13/01/2021 22:16

Stay home protect the nhs save lives means fuck all to some people on here the lack of empathy on all sides is staggering

saraclara · 13/01/2021 22:18

@nottoday3000

Stay home protect the nhs save lives means fuck all to some people on here the lack of empathy on all sides is staggering
People are allowed to shop for food. What's your point?
nottoday3000 · 13/01/2021 22:21

I've just made it do your shopping safely and continue to folllow government and store guidelines

MrsMiaWallis · 13/01/2021 22:23

This is actually emotionally abusive. If a man was controlling his wife this way, MN would be erupting

That is one of the most hysterical and ridiculous things I've read on here for a while. Calm the fuck down.

TheKeatingFive · 13/01/2021 22:27

That is one of the most hysterical and ridiculous things I've read on here for a while.

No she’s right. It’s an abusive attitude.

The fact you can’t see it speaks volumes, but you’ve been sounding unhinged for quite some time now, so I can’t say I’m surprised.

TheKeatingFive · 13/01/2021 22:28

I've just made it do your shopping safely and continue to folllow government and store guidelines

She’s not breaking any of those

saraclara · 13/01/2021 22:28

It's not at all hysterical Many people are telling OP that she should not let her DM go to the shop. That she should make sure she stays home.
One person has even said that she has made sure that her DM in another country, is prevented from going out.

Would they be telling a man not to let his wife out? That he should be the only person allowed to go to the shop, because his wife doesn't need to?

Handcarthell · 13/01/2021 22:28

This

Would you take your elderly mum to Sainsbury's
MrsMiaWallis · 13/01/2021 22:30

@TheKeatingFive

That is one of the most hysterical and ridiculous things I've read on here for a while.

No she’s right. It’s an abusive attitude.

The fact you can’t see it speaks volumes, but you’ve been sounding unhinged for quite some time now, so I can’t say I’m surprised.

You are bloody rude. Hopefully in real life you aren't as nasty.
VinylDetective · 13/01/2021 22:30

@MrsMiaWallis

This is actually emotionally abusive. If a man was controlling his wife this way, MN would be erupting

That is one of the most hysterical and ridiculous things I've read on here for a while. Calm the fuck down.

It’s not. It’s a perfectly fair and reasonable observation. We’re now into “hysteria” - a side helping of misogyny to do with the large helping of ageism this thread has served up.