Would you take your elderly mum to Sainsbury's

[Icequeen01]

So I'm in such a quandary about this. My DM who is 81 has had both her jabs. She hasn't been out for weeks and weeks and I do her shopping each week when I do mine. She has told me she is coming with me to Sainsbury's next week as it will then be over a week since her booster. She knows she has to wear a mask, hand sanitise and socially distance etc.

I'm still not comfortable with taking her though. I've explained that they don't know if she can still transmit the virus but this is something she desperately wants to do, just to have a little bit of normality again and to be able to do her own shopping. She was very upset when I suggested she shouldn't come.

What would you do?

The OP has said she is scanning the food with her mother.

No she didn't. She said they go round separately and meet up at the scan as you shop till.

@KittyMcKitty

They’re not shopping together - for about the millionth time. Nor are they going for a change of scene, they’re going to individually buy food

The OP has said she is scanning the food with her mother.

I'm sure they can consider the alternative, which is for DM to go through a staff checkout. But of course OP helping her with the scanning is safer than DM interacting with a member of staff, don't you think?

@KittyMcKitty

They’re not shopping together - for about the millionth time. Nor are they going for a change of scene, they’re going to individually buy food

The OP has said she is scanning the food with her mother.

I don’t suppose she will now. I expect her mum will go through a normal checkout after all this outrage. I do that anyway and will do so until I get a discount for doing someone else’s job for them.

@saraclara you really did twist my post. I said nothing at all about her being a risk to others and that’s why she had to stay in. I said they both need to realise she can still get covid and the risk is to her. She should be protecting herself. Thanks for twisting my words.

Nope, shielding household here so no thanks I haven’t been in a supermarket since March as we would like the shielding person to still be alive after the vaccination has made it safe. We’re assuming summer before supermarkets. But thanks.

she can still get covid and the risk is to her.

we would like the shielding person to still be alive after the vaccination has made it safe

Which of these two entirely contradictory views of vaccination do you believe to be true @SunKeepsShining?

@PickAChew

What is the point of a vaccine if it doesn't stop someone catching something!

It stops death. It stops severe illness needing hospital admission, it reduces the chance of you passing it on to others. Including those who can’t get the vaccine themselves, for example as they are having active cancer treatment. The vaccines job is to make your body reassure fight covid, and hopefully to the point where you don’t even notice you got infected. But health care workers are still being exposed and getting it, still need to isolate so a hugely depleted workforce.

But the OP and her mum can make up their own minds about risk and the risk to them within what’s allowed in law. Someone going to work throughout with kids in 3 schools and a childminder is going to have a different set of risks than someone in active cancer treatment not left the house since March being laughed at for wiping their shopping.

No but I would go for a walk with her

So are you saying that Sainsbury's mean two or more adults from different households are welcome to shop together?

I don’t see anything to suggest that we’re supposed to be doubling up on households for shopping now. Do you?

As for two people, from separate households, who know each other, in the store at the same time, I expect they are allowed to acknowledge each other’s existence, yes.

I don’t think the ‘roolz’ mean that they have to make out they are strangers and avoid eye contact. Or did chris Whitty say different?

• MrsMiaWallis @MrsMiaWallace and you going once instead of twice would be even less "spready". Or maybe when schools open, just send one child instead of two

I couldn't manage a weekly shop for a total of 9 people in one go, so two trips it is.*

If you'd picked up covid but had no symptoms, you've just exposed 2 shopfulls to covid. If you went with a member of your household, whether or not they had it too, you've still only exposed half the number of people.

I see more of a problem with someone going twice than an 81 year old daring to leave her home.

Talk of a terrifying mutant strain developing from an elderly woman going to the supermarket is just absolutely nonsensical and scaremongering.

I can’t believe you’re for real @MrsMiaWallis but please stop this.

Oh god, people are still coming on and making up roolz on this thread!

OP I hope your mum gets a small pleasure from doing her own shopping again and it helps builds her confidence about going out. You don't need to pretend you don't know each other as others have said. Ignore all the stupid strawman arguments and "reasoning". I honestly think there are some trolls on this thread.

I am not ageist. We are at the most dangerous point of a pandemic. No one, regardless of their age, should be going out unless it is absolutely essential. Op’s Mother does not need to go out as she has someone who can do her shopping for her.

I would love to and have a look round a shop but I am not, because I have been told, like the rest of the country, to behave advanced if I have the virus. There was no “unless you have been vaccinated” tagged on to this advice.

Yes, the vaccine should eventually make it safe for us to go back out but we need a much higher proportion of the population to be vaccinated first.

Op’s mother could still potentially have the virus and transmit it. It isn’t that long since she was mixing with other people to get her jab.

People who say they would rather meet op’s mother in a shop than other people are missing the point which is: the fewer people out and about - vaccinated or not vaccinated - the better.

@VinylDetective

she can still get covid and the risk is to her.

we would like the shielding person to still be alive after the vaccination has made it safe

Which of these two entirely contradictory views of vaccination do you believe to be true @SunKeepsShining?

Er both? Not contradicting each other. First statement..... the OPs mother can still get covid over the vaccination. The main risk is that she still gets it, still gets some complications. The risk is to herself and she makes up her own mind about that risk.

Second statement, taken when talking about our family, er yes we would like them to be alive long enough to have the vaccine for all the family to make it safe, which won’t be until the summer. We have been told we all need to have it to stop shielding as even a small reaction to covid isn’t worth the risk.

HTH. 2 sale rate statements not contradictory in the slightest.

Op’s Mother does not need to go out as she has someone who can do her shopping for her

This is in your personal opinion, which does not reflect law or even guidance. OPs mum can choose whether to go shopping for herself or not.

Does anyone believe a word that Chris Whitty says? I lost any respect when he did that presentation showing graphs about estimations that were grossly overexaggerated and which he knew they were as he already had the updated projections showing a far less dismal picture.
But lets not lose an opportunity to scare the public eh?

@MrsMiaWallace Why can't you do click and collect or shop online if it's too much to manage. I've had deliveries all through this, you just have to be bothered to find the slots.

I am not ageist.

That sounds a bit like "I'm not being funny, but..."

They're never being funny, just downright unpleasant.

And yes you are.

She may be moderately protected but most people aren't. She could pick up and transmit it to others not as fortunate as her.
I fear we'll see more of this attitude as the vaccine rolls out.

@cptartapp

She may be moderately protected but most people aren't. She could pick up and transmit it to others not as fortunate as her. I fear we'll see more of this attitude as the vaccine rolls out.

I hope we do otherwise the vaccination programme is pointless.

I haven’t rtft but yes I think you should

It must be very hard on her atm

My understanding is that they expect the vaccine to limit/stop transmission, but as this is difficult to measure in trials, cannot say with certainty at this point.

This seems to have been interpreted as ‘doesn’t’ for some reason.

@TheKeatingFive

My understanding is that they expect the vaccine to limit/stop transmission, but as this is difficult to measure in trials, cannot say with certainty at this point.

This seems to have been interpreted as ‘doesn’t’ for some reason.

Well I guess it shouldn’t surprise anyone when you look at all the shit people on MN manage to make up and present as fact.

Charming, even.