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Original poster

Would you take your elderly mum to Sainsbury's

870 replies

Icequeen01 · 12/01/2021 18:15

So I'm in such a quandary about this. My DM who is 81 has had both her jabs. She hasn't been out for weeks and weeks and I do her shopping each week when I do mine. She has told me she is coming with me to Sainsbury's next week as it will then be over a week since her booster. She knows she has to wear a mask, hand sanitise and socially distance etc.

I'm still not comfortable with taking her though. I've explained that they don't know if she can still transmit the virus but this is something she desperately wants to do, just to have a little bit of normality again and to be able to do her own shopping. She was very upset when I suggested she shouldn't come.

What would you do?

OP posts:
tootyfruitypickle · 13/01/2021 10:28

I can’t think of anything worse than my parents doing my shopping. We have radically different ideas about ‘value’.

TheKeatingFive · 13/01/2021 10:28

Can someone explain to me why two people, in two separate households, doing their own shopping, is against the roolz?

Are we all supposed to be doubling up?

No one told me.

charliespie · 13/01/2021 10:29

@nottoday3000

She then needs to do her daughters shopping as well as her own while her daughter waits in the car it's total and utterly unnecessary whilst been a prisoner in your own home isn't nice there will be ample opportunity to shop together further on, it's not about a change of scenery at the moment

No. She does not NEED to do this simply based on your opinion. Not at all. Who made you the over ruler of the law Hmm

RooMama · 13/01/2021 10:29

I would be respecting Sainsbury's rules and only sending one adult into a shop. Just because she's been immunised doesn't mean she's not taking up space in aisles and impacting other people's ability to distance from each other. If she wants to do the shopping let her (you wait in car and help her outside move the groceries into trolley).

Drinkarsefeck · 13/01/2021 10:29

I think when there are alternatives then it is wrong for her to go. It is increasing the risk for everyone the more contacts that there are. My mum has had both her vaccinations, but has still been told to continue shielding. She hasnt been out since last March. We are going to end up in a worse state if everyone who is vaccinated stops being really careful.

GingerNorthernLass · 13/01/2021 10:30

No, I wouldn't.

I'm surprised that people are keen to risk their life to wander around looking at shelves of baked beans.

TheKeatingFive · 13/01/2021 10:30

I would be respecting Sainsbury's rules and only sending one adult into a shop.

One adult per household is within Sainsbury’s rules.

charliespie · 13/01/2021 10:31

Can someone explain to me why two people, in two separate households, doing their own shopping, is against the roolz?

Mumsnet 'roolz' innit?

Forget what is legal and best for the individual, focus on keeping those pesky oldies out of the shop so they don't take up space in the line or get in the way of people grabbing their tins of beans.

MrsMiaWallis · 13/01/2021 10:31

One adult per household is within Sainsbury’s rules
So are you saying that Sainsbury's mean two or more adults from different households are welcome to shop together?

saraclara · 13/01/2021 10:32

I have over and over, and clearly and concisely spelled out the things that make OP's mother far less of a risk than anyone else here, or in the supermarket. Not one of the people who are ranting about the very idea of her going to the shop have addressed my points or explained logically why they think I'm wrong. Why not?

KittyMcKitty · 13/01/2021 10:33

They are each doing their own shopping. OP has explained that. They won't be walking round together. They will be the same as any other two unrelated shoppers. The only difference is that they will have travelled in the same car

Actually the OP said she would be scanning the shopping for her mother as she can’t manage it herself so not alone.

I’ve had COVID and have antibodies (as confirmed by nhs recently for plasma donation) as have some of my family members. I absolutely don’t think that this makes it ok for myself and family members to go and stand together at the self checkout. This isn’t about us it’s about protecting the wider community so that we. An get back to normal ASAP.

I get that the OP’s mother is fed up and wants to do normal things - we all do. However tge OP’s question was do we think this is ok and my answer is no I don’t.

As I said earlier I do think the OP’s mother should go out but there are better things she could do. Obviously her mother can make her own mind up but imho she needs to be thinking of other people - which is exactly what we all should do.

tootyfruitypickle · 13/01/2021 10:33

@MrsMiaWallis. As has been explained, they would be sharing transport not shopping in store together

nottoday3000 · 13/01/2021 10:33

You've been emailed by all the heads of various big food retail companies to shop alone where possible a colleague is scared to come back to work after getting over covid THATS REALLY SCARY not by being asked by security as to why you aren't shopping alone when you could do get a grip when you've done a shift your opinion might be some what different

charliespie · 13/01/2021 10:34

My mum has had both her vaccinations, but has still been told to continue shielding.

OP mum has not been shielding so any advice to shielded a is not relevant.

She hasnt been out since last March.

That's by choice though. Shielding was paused in August. Even now people on the shielding list (in Scotland) are not being told not to go shopping. It's advised to try and get a delivery or someone shop for you but the official line is:

•	strictly follow the guidelines when shopping
•	limit the number of times you go to a shop
•	shop at quieter times
MilkLady02 · 13/01/2021 10:35

Don’t worry OP, by the time this thread has run its course, your mum will have reached peak immunity and the pandemic may well be over! Grin

charliespie · 13/01/2021 10:36

@saraclara

I have over and over, and clearly and concisely spelled out the things that make OP's mother far less of a risk than anyone else here, or in the supermarket. Not one of the people who are ranting about the very idea of her going to the shop have addressed my points or explained logically why they think I'm wrong. Why not?

They can't see past their own froth.

WaxOnFeckOff · 13/01/2021 10:36

The risk in the shop isn't any different for customers as the amount that are allowed in is limited.

MrsMiaWallis · 13/01/2021 10:36

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

saraclara · 13/01/2021 10:37

@nottoday3000

You've been emailed by all the heads of various big food retail companies to shop alone where possible a colleague is scared to come back to work after getting over covid THATS REALLY SCARY not by being asked by security as to why you aren't shopping alone when you could do get a grip when you've done a shift your opinion might be some what different
I know what scary is. My daughter is ward sister of a Covid ward, and is watching people die every day. And yes, she caught Covid from her patients

But she understands risk, as do I. And she agrees with me that OP's DM is less risk to you and your colleagues than 99% of the population. The fact that OP will be elsewhere in the shop doesn't affect the risk in any way at all.

charliespie · 13/01/2021 10:37

@nottoday3000

You've been emailed by all the heads of various big food retail companies to shop alone where possible a colleague is scared to come back to work after getting over covid THATS REALLY SCARY not by being asked by security as to why you aren't shopping alone when you could do get a grip when you've done a shift your opinion might be some what different

Actually, the email says that you will be asked at the door, so talking about being asking at the door is relevant.

charliespie · 13/01/2021 10:41

@MrsMiaWallis

Off topic - but I wonder if those who are vaccinated mixing with those who aren't will create more viral mutations?
Chris Whitty said the more people vaccinated the harder it is for the virus to move about and so yes, it will mutate.

What he didn't say was that vaccinated people should not go to the supermarket in case unvaccinated people are there.

MrsMiaWallis · 13/01/2021 10:42

What he didn't say was that vaccinated people should not go to the supermarket in case unvaccinated people are there

Maybe they should limit mixing for a few months. Not a popular decision though.

PickAChew · 13/01/2021 10:43

@Handcarthell

Ok let's all go every day to every supermarket and buy one thing in each shop shall we?

I'm off here now.

OP just do the right thing eh?

Who chooses your food for you?
VinylDetective · 13/01/2021 10:47

@nottoday3000

She then needs to do her daughters shopping as well as her own while her daughter waits in the car it's total and utterly unnecessary whilst been a prisoner in your own home isn't nice there will be ample opportunity to shop together further on, it's not about a change of scenery at the moment
They’re not shopping together - for about the millionth time. Nor are they going for a change of scene, they’re going to individually buy food.
KittyMcKitty · 13/01/2021 10:49

They’re not shopping together - for about the millionth time. Nor are they going for a change of scene, they’re going to individually buy food

The OP has said she is scanning the food with her mother.