Would you take your elderly mum to Sainsbury's

[Icequeen01]

So I'm in such a quandary about this. My DM who is 81 has had both her jabs. She hasn't been out for weeks and weeks and I do her shopping each week when I do mine. She has told me she is coming with me to Sainsbury's next week as it will then be over a week since her booster. She knows she has to wear a mask, hand sanitise and socially distance etc.

I'm still not comfortable with taking her though. I've explained that they don't know if she can still transmit the virus but this is something she desperately wants to do, just to have a little bit of normality again and to be able to do her own shopping. She was very upset when I suggested she shouldn't come.

What would you do?

Really hope your parents have been offered help if they wanted it knittingaddict

No, Handcarthell all 3 of their children thought they would just leave them to it and take their chances in a Pandemic.

Of course we aren't doing that. I take an order for meals from Oakhouse Foods once a week and we've all offered to either do a food order or shop for them. They frequently refuse to order the frozen meals and won't have anyone doing their shopping for them. All of their social groups have been cancelled, they don't know their neighbours, my mum no longer has her guide dog to walk and they literally just shop twice a week. They sit in their tiny one bed LA bungalow staring at the bloody walls and arguing with each other.

Perhaps you would like to pop along and "persuade" them of their irresponsible behaviour.

Think I'll leave it there as this thread has made me so annoyed.

@MrsMiaWallis

Ok, I'll explain.

I shop for myself, and 7 other adults.

So i go twice = 1 person x 2 = 2 exposures. I mix with noone else other than my immediate family who I live with.

If I didn't do that then potentially 6 other adults would be going once a week and mixing.

It's fairly straightforward.

There are many explanations on this thread about why it's wrong. Inc simple explanations of the law.

I have more hope that OP and her mum are able to make a sensible decision than some.

It’s allowed to go to the supermarket. It’s not irresponsible or a jolly. Or dangerous.

It’s perfectly reasonable to wish to choose one’s own groceries.

@knittingaddict

Really hope your parents have been offered help if they wanted it knittingaddict

No, Handcarthell all 3 of their children thought they would just leave them to it and take their chances in a Pandemic.

Of course we aren't doing that. I take an order for meals from Oakhouse Foods once a week and we've all offered to either do a food order or shop for them. They frequently refuse to order the frozen meals and won't have anyone doing their shopping for them. All of their social groups have been cancelled, they don't know their neighbours, my mum no longer has her guide dog to walk and they literally just shop twice a week. They sit in their tiny one bed LA bungalow staring at the bloody walls and arguing with each other.

Perhaps you would like to pop along and "persuade" them of their irresponsible behaviour.

Think I'll leave it there as this thread has made me so annoyed.

Blimey you are on a high horse aren't you?! Nice view?

You took that comment entirely the wrong way.

Yes def time you left the thread.

@MrsMiaWallis

Ok, I'll explain.

I shop for myself, and 7 other adults.

So i go twice = 1 person x 2 = 2 exposures. I mix with noone else other than my immediate family who I live with.

If I didn't do that then potentially 6 other adults would be going once a week and mixing.

It's fairly straightforward.

Well, that explanation was nothing like straightforward, shopping for 9 then 8 or is it 7 , three households or more?

It's all irrelevant though, what if it's time in the supermarket rather than number of exposures? What if it's you that's infected and everyone else is fine? What if it isn't spreading in supermarkets?

Someone is perfectly entitled to do their own shopping if they want to. I'm not sure what part of that is hard to understand.

@knittingaddict

Really hope your parents have been offered help if they wanted it knittingaddict

No, Handcarthell all 3 of their children thought they would just leave them to it and take their chances in a Pandemic.

Of course we aren't doing that. I take an order for meals from Oakhouse Foods once a week and we've all offered to either do a food order or shop for them. They frequently refuse to order the frozen meals and won't have anyone doing their shopping for them. All of their social groups have been cancelled, they don't know their neighbours, my mum no longer has her guide dog to walk and they literally just shop twice a week. They sit in their tiny one bed LA bungalow staring at the bloody walls and arguing with each other.

Perhaps you would like to pop along and "persuade" them of their irresponsible behaviour.

Think I'll leave it there as this thread has made me so annoyed.

Oh and try ICare Cuisine if they deliver to their area.

Dad much preferred then.

@MrsMiaWallis

Ok, I'll explain.

I shop for myself, and 7 other adults.

So i go twice = 1 person x 2 = 2 exposures. I mix with noone else other than my immediate family who I live with.

If I didn't do that then potentially 6 other adults would be going once a week and mixing.

It's fairly straightforward.

You live with other people. You are not vaccinated. You've been going out. You are far more risk to me in the supermarket than the 81 year old.

If anything, she should be doing OP's shopping for her. She is the least risk to anyone.

@MrsMiaWallis

Ok, I'll explain.

I shop for myself, and 7 other adults.

So i go twice = 1 person x 2 = 2 exposures. I mix with noone else other than my immediate family who I live with.

If I didn't do that then potentially 6 other adults would be going once a week and mixing.

It's fairly straightforward.

Oh dear

@Charliespie I agree with you. Maybe I'm not expressing myself well. I mean the focus of the argument should be about whether people of any age should be going to shops when there are alternatives.

Our adult son lives with us. I have countless arguments with him about going to the supermarket. I do a fortnightly click and collect order and top up from our village shop which has very strict rules about only having 4 people in the shop at any one time, and I'm usually in there for less than 10 minutes. My son still finds an excuse to go to Tesco once a week as he is, in his words, "bored stupid and at least it gets me out of the house". I strongly feel he shouldn't do this, but I can't stop him. He is an adult, he has his own transport, and he makes his own decisions. But the more mixing there is, the longer this goes on. We did consider stopping the click and collect orders and he could shop for us, which would make his trip more legitimate, but we then decided that this is hypocritical as we are already practising a safer alternative.

I think just because technically we can do something doesn't mean we should, and that includes physical shopping, whatever your age or circumstances. Therefore I have only been in a supermarket twice since last March, and one of those times was to shop for someone who was shielding. But I appreciate that people have different views. It's just a shame that it gets so divisive.

It gets divisive because people are insane and make up rules to hector and scare others.

@WouldBeGood

It gets divisive because people are insane and make up rules to hector and scare others.

Agree

I wonder what these people will do when the restrictions are much relaxed and they’ve nothing to hector people about.

They’ll be totally bereft.

What people are forgetting is no matter what this ladies age if she has full capacity she should be making decisions that are in keeping with the law and what is right. Just like the rest of us.

Being elderly no more gives the right to do what the hell she wants, any more than it makes her less able to make choices.

@MrsMiaWallis

Ok, I'll explain.

I shop for myself, and 7 other adults.

So i go twice = 1 person x 2 = 2 exposures. I mix with noone else other than my immediate family who I live with.

If I didn't do that then potentially 6 other adults would be going once a week and mixing.

It's fairly straightforward.

So as I suspected. You can do as you please, but woe betide an older person wants to exercise some sort of autonomy. Got you.

@Handcarthell

What people are forgetting is no matter what this ladies age if she has full capacity she should be making decisions that are in keeping with the law and what is right. Just like the rest of us.

Being elderly no more gives the right to do what the hell she wants, any more than it makes her less able to make choices.

Fortunately she's not demanding to do what the hell she wants. She just wants to shop for food. Which she is allowed to do, and is as entitled as anyone else to do. She will also do it more safely (for her and for others) than any of us arguing on this thread.

@Handcarthell

What people are forgetting is no matter what this ladies age if she has full capacity she should be making decisions that are in keeping with the law and what is right. Just like the rest of us.

Being elderly no more gives the right to do what the hell she wants, any more than it makes her less able to make choices.

Which is precisely what she’s doing. She’s going shopping for food. In keeping with the law.

@Handcarthell

What people are forgetting is no matter what this ladies age if she has full capacity she should be making decisions that are in keeping with the law and what is right. Just like the rest of us.

Being elderly no more gives the right to do what the hell she wants, any more than it makes her less able to make choices.

Which is exactly what she is doing?

@Handcarthell

What people are forgetting is no matter what this ladies age if she has full capacity she should be making decisions that are in keeping with the law and what is right. Just like the rest of us.

Being elderly no more gives the right to do what the hell she wants, any more than it makes her less able to make choices.

🙄

I wouldn't for my parents not worth the risk would maybe let her something else she enjoys x

Oh my are people still questioning someone’s right to go and buy their own food !! Gotta love MN!!

I can’t see a problem if the dm gets her own basket and goes around doing her own shopping.

What might be on the borders of unreasonableness is if she wanted to walk along chatting with the OP, browsing and seeing it as a trip out. My dm loved a shopping companion, “Ooh, look, fish paste has gone up 3p” and “The forced rhubarb’s in” etc. Drove me mad with boredom!

@Handcarthell.

And ignore the request to stay at home and only go out WHEN NECESSARY

Shall we all ignore it?

Shopping for food is essential ?!

@tootyfruitypickle

Shopping for food is essential ?!

Suddenly after being at home so far?!