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Original poster

Would you take your elderly mum to Sainsbury's

870 replies

Icequeen01 · 12/01/2021 18:15

So I'm in such a quandary about this. My DM who is 81 has had both her jabs. She hasn't been out for weeks and weeks and I do her shopping each week when I do mine. She has told me she is coming with me to Sainsbury's next week as it will then be over a week since her booster. She knows she has to wear a mask, hand sanitise and socially distance etc.

I'm still not comfortable with taking her though. I've explained that they don't know if she can still transmit the virus but this is something she desperately wants to do, just to have a little bit of normality again and to be able to do her own shopping. She was very upset when I suggested she shouldn't come.

What would you do?

OP posts:
WaxOnFeckOff · 13/01/2021 00:46

I agree @saracarla. I had a but of a rant too but the thread progressed well and I hope your DM does decide to go and get herself a few nice desserts OP.

MadameBlobby · 13/01/2021 00:51

I hope she enjoys her bit of independence and getting out to choose her own food. There’s nothing to beat picking your own stuff, I hate online food shopping.

Ickle37 · 13/01/2021 01:45

Interesting reactions. Its clear why the UK is in such a shit storm. I don’t live in the UK, live in an EU country where numbers are really low because actually we keep our elderly away from super markets, and my mother in the UK (75) i have ensured doesn’t go near them. You all crack on, send your people off for shopping trips, and if it makes you feel better blame Boris when they die. Grow up.

PoppiesinOctober · 13/01/2021 01:55

@Ickle37

Interesting reactions. Its clear why the UK is in such a shit storm. I don’t live in the UK, live in an EU country where numbers are really low because actually we keep our elderly away from super markets, and my mother in the UK (75) i have ensured doesn’t go near them. You all crack on, send your people off for shopping trips, and if it makes you feel better blame Boris when they die. Grow up.
Nobody 'sends them off' - they can choose to go because they're grown adults.

You need to grow up. Control freak.

mrsbyers · 13/01/2021 02:05

She could easily just book a taxi and go herself she isn’t shielding - because she’s old doesn’t mean she can’t make her own decisions - I would take her no problem

lovelemoncurd · 13/01/2021 02:19

You can still carry the virus on your clothes, hands to others. It's not just about your mum it's to protect others!

WouldBeGood · 13/01/2021 02:49

Yes, I would.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 13/01/2021 03:56

@Ickle37

Interesting reactions. Its clear why the UK is in such a shit storm. I don’t live in the UK, live in an EU country where numbers are really low because actually we keep our elderly away from super markets, and my mother in the UK (75) i have ensured doesn’t go near them. You all crack on, send your people off for shopping trips, and if it makes you feel better blame Boris when they die. Grow up.
Really? You have really low rates because you are keeping your elderly residents locked in their homes? Hmm How have you ensured that when you're not even in this country? Your mother is an adult, she can make her own decisions. She's probably going out, you just don't know about it. I would be if I were her. I would also be annoyed that I had raised such a patronising daughter.
MRex · 13/01/2021 05:26

live in an EU country where numbers are really low because actually we keep our elderly away from super markets
Long term it really would be better if you vaccinate your elderly instead.

CarlottaValdez · 13/01/2021 06:10

live in an EU country where numbers are really low because actually we keep our elderly away from super markets

But you and most of your social circle have apparently had it so you must be really letting the side down!

CKBJ · 13/01/2021 07:31

Yes I would if that’s what she wants to do. Also I think rather than a “big” return to normal more and more people will have their vaccines regain confidence (and protection) and slowly start returning to “normal” and this will have a domino effect..slow and steady.

user1488819536 · 13/01/2021 07:45

What on earth have we all become.
This thread makes me very sad that we are all doomed to be locked in forever.

Take your mum shopping, she is no more likely , in fact less so, to spread it than all the other hundreds of people going every day.

user1488819536 · 13/01/2021 07:47

Maybe we should all have covid tests before we go shopping from now on incase ANY of us are spreading it!

saraclara · 13/01/2021 08:07

my mother in the UK (75) i have ensured doesn’t go near them

Bloody hell. This in addition to your other post saying this wouldn't be "on the table" is actually quite chilling. The control you expect to have over your parent is scary.

Do you have someone keeping your mother locked in, in the UK?

blueberryporridge · 13/01/2021 08:30

My understanding is that the vaccines are proven to reduce your chance of getting seriously ill with Covid but that it isn’t known yet if they stop you catching it or transmitting it. Explain this to your mother and tell her she needs to stay at home to protect other people.

MadameBlobby · 13/01/2021 08:30

@lovelemoncurd

You can still carry the virus on your clothes, hands to others. It's not just about your mum it's to protect others!
So why is the OP’s mum any different from anyone else in this regard?
MadameBlobby · 13/01/2021 08:31

@blueberryporridge

My understanding is that the vaccines are proven to reduce your chance of getting seriously ill with Covid but that it isn’t known yet if they stop you catching it or transmitting it. Explain this to your mother and tell her she needs to stay at home to protect other people.
Surely on this basis no one at all should be in the shops
MadameBlobby · 13/01/2021 08:32

Some of the posts on this thread are awful. “Letting” your parent go to the shops. “Ensuring” people don’t go to the shops. Who do you people think you are to control what other mentally capable adults do?

charliespie · 13/01/2021 08:33

@blueberryporridge

My understanding is that the vaccines are proven to reduce your chance of getting seriously ill with Covid but that it isn’t known yet if they stop you catching it or transmitting it. Explain this to your mother and tell her she needs to stay at home to protect other people.

Why does OP mum need to stay at home? Why can she not go shopping? Irrespective of the vaccine situation as the majority of people in the supermarket now haven't had it.

Frazzled2207 · 13/01/2021 08:34

I’d wait another week and go at a quiet time but yes

VinylDetective · 13/01/2021 08:35

@Ickle37

Interesting reactions. Its clear why the UK is in such a shit storm. I don’t live in the UK, live in an EU country where numbers are really low because actually we keep our elderly away from super markets, and my mother in the UK (75) i have ensured doesn’t go near them. You all crack on, send your people off for shopping trips, and if it makes you feel better blame Boris when they die. Grow up.
Your mother hasn’t been vaccinated so there’s no comparison. You clearly have no respect whatsoever for older people as evidenced by your disgraceful, patronising “Bless her” post. I feel really sorry for your mum.

I hope your mum enjoys choosing her own food @Icequeen01, that half hour of normality will do her the world of good. You’ve made the right call.

thedalaisllama · 13/01/2021 08:35

Interested to hear why people think no? Your mum has had the vaccine, and the point of the vaccine rollout is to allow us to hopefully get back to some normality. I don't think your mum should be out there completely living life like before covid (until more people have been vaccinated) but why can't she go to the shops with you as long as she's not breaking any laws?

blueberryporridge · 13/01/2021 08:45

The number of posters saying that it is fine for someone to go out unnecessarily shows exactly why we have such awful infection and death rates from Covid in this country. Op’s Mother does not need to go out. We are being told that we are at the most dangerous stage so far of the pandemic. She can hold on a bit longer to peruse the pudding aisle. FGS I despair.

VinylDetective · 13/01/2021 08:48

@blueberryporridge

The number of posters saying that it is fine for someone to go out unnecessarily shows exactly why we have such awful infection and death rates from Covid in this country. Op’s Mother does not need to go out. We are being told that we are at the most dangerous stage so far of the pandemic. She can hold on a bit longer to peruse the pudding aisle. FGS I despair.
I bloody despair too. It’s not unnecessary. She’s going to buy food. And her mental health is important. Some people won’t be happy until we’ve all rocking and howling in the corner.
KittyMcKitty · 13/01/2021 08:50

No I wouldn’t. She may be in the fortunate position to have had both jabs but now she needs to play her part in protecting others by not making unnecessary trips.