Would you take your elderly mum to Sainsbury's

[Icequeen01]

So I'm in such a quandary about this. My DM who is 81 has had both her jabs. She hasn't been out for weeks and weeks and I do her shopping each week when I do mine. She has told me she is coming with me to Sainsbury's next week as it will then be over a week since her booster. She knows she has to wear a mask, hand sanitise and socially distance etc.

I'm still not comfortable with taking her though. I've explained that they don't know if she can still transmit the virus but this is something she desperately wants to do, just to have a little bit of normality again and to be able to do her own shopping. She was very upset when I suggested she shouldn't come.

What would you do?

God no, I was agreeing with you!

I think the madness is getting to me today charliespie

The guidance is that only one person per household should be going to the shop.

In some cases, not everyone in a household actually live together (as in the case of support bubbles). What is against the rules to go to a shop together and do the shopping in store separately, then meet outside?

Rates in my area are around 170 per 100k per 7 days so, in a simplified way that means that 99830 probably don't have it. Even in the highest areas its about 1500 per 100K? so 98500 people in every 100k people probably don't have it.

@kingkuta

Both adults will be doing their own shopping. She wants to do her own shopping. Its not a little day trip!

This

If she’s had both her jabs I would. She’s unlikely to get it and how the hell is she going to transmit it if she’s not been anywhere?!

No

I find it amazing that anyone here thinks they have a say in what adults are allowed to go to and get their own shopping. All over this thread people say, "no she shouldn't go because it means more people in the shops, pushing us all closer together" why don't you stay at home then? OPs mum has been home alone for weeks, she deserves a bit of bloody freedom.

[quote Rosehassometoes]@SnowFields
You posted:
For a long time people have been protecting those like your mum but now she is vaccinated it is time for her to return the favour and stay in to protect everyone else.

I agree[/quote]
I agree with this too. Hopefully in another month or so we should see the benefits of this latest lockdown so its not a big ask of her to avoid an unneccessary shopping trip for a few more more weeks.

Funnily enough, someone at work commented only the other day would we suddenly see lots of old folk out and about once they've had a jab while the rest of us are expected to stay home, or are living through furloughed, kids missing school etc.

well it might be essential now and wasn't two weeks ago as OPs mum has reached the end of her tether in terms of her mental health and wants to do something she is perfectly within the guidance/regulations and law to do?

I would absolutely take her if she wants to go.

All over this thread people say, "no she shouldn't go because it means more people in the shops, pushing us all closer together" why don't you stay at home then?

Yes. This. A million times over.

@WeAllHaveWings

The advice everyone should be following is stay at home as much as you can unless essential or for local exercise. The vaccine is irrelevant.

Ask yourself honestly is a trip to Sainsburys essential now when it wasn't 2 weeks ago?

It is grocery shopping.. that is pretty essential. I didn't realise we were only allowed to do that once a fortnight.

@Icequeen01

She had her first jab in 18th Dec and her 2nd one last Saturday.

I get what you are saying about only one person shopping but we don't shop together. I race round doing mine for the family whilst she poodles along getting her own shopping.

I

I believe the protection for suffering severe effects isn't until more than 3 weeks.

I'd wait that length at least. And even then it doesn't prevent your mum catching covid, just hopefully for 9 out of 10,it prevents from escalating.

Funnily enough, someone at work commented only the other day would we suddenly see lots of old folk out and about once they've had a jab while the rest of us are expected to stay home,

Except you're allowed to go and do your shopping. And old people are already out doing their own shopping. As can this woman. She just needs a lift to do so.

It's ASTONISHINGLY ageist to say that someone of 81 doesn't have the same rights that you do,.They will stay home as much as you do, and can go shopping just as you do. No more, no less.

Erm my elderly mother has been taking herself to Sainsburys (and other shops) since March! She is 81.

Is your mum CEV? If not, why the drama?

Haven't read the full bread but it's not 100% effective, none of them are and it's bloody rampant right now.

I get that it's shit as nothing at all
Is open except supermarkets and garden centres but you can at least visit properly now I assume?

I would take mine, assuming she is mobile. Stand separately in the queue. It'll be good for her to shop for herself and feel part of the real world again. I'd at least put a KN95 filter behind her mask if hers doesn't have a filter pocket.

I've been taking my 80 year old Mum to Lidl until we locked down again. She is an adult; she can decide. We live in different counties, but close, and we are her bubble.

Yes!!

@saraclara - I read something somewhere about scientists not being sure whether she can still transmit the virus even though she would not become ill herself.

Contrary to what a lot of posters seem to think about me, of course that wouldn't sit right with me. However, I have also watched my mum's memory deteriorate since she has been self isolating and her confidence to do even small things for herself is deteriorating. I am so completely torn. I really do worry about her mental state, I also worry about the fact the vaccine might not work and she becomes ill.

I have spent so long panicked that I could infect my mum - I am her support bubble but work in an SEN school so haven't really been able to be a proper support bubble in the sense of the word. We celebrated my DS's 21st with her but from the other side of a closed patio door. I think this had made me very and I get why some may feel "over" protective of her. I am hoping I am not an over-bearing daughter as some people have intimated though.

I feel ill at the thought I could be trapped in my own home, dependent on someone who won’t let me do basic things. “No dear, you can’t go shopping.... it’s for your own good”. It’s like a horror film!

I’m guessing if she got a taxi or bus there she would be punished with a withdrawal of support?

My mum is 89 and had covid as soon as she is fully vaccinated I will be taking her shopping and nobody is going to stop us ! She’s been indoors for nearly a year, and her mental health is suffering.

doesn't it take 3 weeks to be in full affect?

@saraclara - I read something somewhere about scientists not being sure whether she can still transmit the virus even though she would not become ill herself.

I get that @Icequeen01. But again, being able to transmit it asymptomatically is something we all might do. But you still go to the shops, just the same as the rest of us. So why can't your mum? Even if she could potentially transmit it, she's not even been anywhere to pick it up! And it's much less likely now she's been jabbed.

Please, please take her. She must be going quietly mad at home alone.

Take her, but pretend you dont know each other in the supermarket, USSR sleeper agent style.