Would you take your elderly mum to Sainsbury's

[Icequeen01]

So I'm in such a quandary about this. My DM who is 81 has had both her jabs. She hasn't been out for weeks and weeks and I do her shopping each week when I do mine. She has told me she is coming with me to Sainsbury's next week as it will then be over a week since her booster. She knows she has to wear a mask, hand sanitise and socially distance etc.

I'm still not comfortable with taking her though. I've explained that they don't know if she can still transmit the virus but this is something she desperately wants to do, just to have a little bit of normality again and to be able to do her own shopping. She was very upset when I suggested she shouldn't come.

What would you do?

Absolutely yes!

[quote saraclara]@EmmaGrundyForPM, this 81 year old has just as much right to go to Sainsbury's as you do. And she's less risk to people in there than you are. She's vaccinated and she's not left her home in weeks.[/quote]
Its nothing to do with her age. It's the same principle whether she's 81 or 21. If you can avoid going into a shop you should. She has an alternative - the OP can shop for her. I'm presuming they are in a bubble and therefore count as one household. The guidance is that only one person per household should be going to the shop.

My 22 year old son is bored witless by lockdown. That doesn't make it OK for him to traipse round Tesco with me /at the same time as me.

@Robbybobtail

I honestly think people like you are just on a wind-up mission - I can’t believe you people really exist? In real life?

Please. Do explain?

I'm in my 50's and had covid in March. It's scotland we have been under and increased level of restriction compared to England with far fewer cases. I find it frustrating as hell, but at the end of the day, the loss of a year of proper living at my age is neither here nor there really. However if you are under 25 or over 70 then I think it's a much bigger issue. I'm also of the view that shielding for the very elderly would be up to them really as it's their life that they are gambling with (obvs that can't apply to care homes as you can't make that decision for other residents) But, testing has been available for a long time but still older people have been living in a higher level of restriction than most for that time. The woman wants to go shopping, it's her choice really if she understands any risks.

@knittingaddict that's a different situation and I would hope any supermarket would recognise that

Yes. She is entitled to make her own decisions and choosing to shop for her own essentials is an entirely reasonable thing to do, even in the current situation.

No, charliespie - it’s your bedtime!

Its nothing to do with her age. It's the same principle whether she's 81 or 21. If you can avoid going into a shop you should. She has an alternative - the OP can shop for her.

Maybe the 81 year old could do OP's shopping then, @EmmaGrundyForPM
I have an alternative too. So do most people. Everyone on my close could club together and do one big shop or an online shop. But we don't. We do our own shopping, as I imagine, do you.

This wouldn't even be a question if the DM didn't need a lift there. She'd be doing her own shopping and no-one would give her a moment's thought.

@Robbybobtail

No, charliespie - it’s your bedtime!

What the fuck?

Why are you having a go at me for defending peoples right to shop when, given the response to the second post of mine you quoted, is exactly your stance

I personally would not put the vaccine to the test like that if you are in a high risk area. A supermarket could be quite a dangerous place.

I am aware of one patient personally who tested positive more than 2
weeks after having had one dose of the Pfizer vaccine.
10% failure rate is not nothing. Some people will get it despite the vaccine
10% of lots of people could be a big number.

The main purpose of the vaccine is to create herd immunity and push transmission rates down so that there will be so little Covid about that it will be safe for the vaccinated and the unvaccinated and to reduce the severity of the illness if you do get it.

It is not necessarily a fire wall or an invisibility blanket.

If it were my mum I would not put it to the test until cases drop.

[quote EmmaGrundyForPM]@knittingaddict that's a different situation and I would hope any supermarket would recognise that[/quote]
I agree that it's different. Handcarthell doesn't seem to agree with you. She wants my mum who is blind and has dementia or my dad who is useless and blind to shop on their own. They literally couldn't do it.

@WaxOnFeckOff people are losing their minds 🤷🏼‍♀️

I'm still not comfortable with taking her though. I've explained that they don't know if she can still transmit the virus

@Icequeen01 can I ask why you worry that she can still transmit the virus? Surely even without the vaccine, she's at less risk of giving it to anyone than you are, if she's been in the house alone for weeks.

I genuinely don't understand why this is the thing stopping you from taking her. She was already virtually no risk to anyone, and now, on top of that, she's had both vaccines. Why are you worried about her transmitting it, and not yourself doing so?

[quote EmmaGrundyForPM]@knittingaddict that's a different situation and I would hope any supermarket would recognise that[/quote]
Didn't even need mentioning.

But some just like to nitpick.

Really hope your parents have been offered help if they wanted it knittingaddict

I think I would too she is an adult after all. Try and go at a quiet time?

But maybe not if the rates are really high in your area

Oh, I’m so sorry charliespie - I thought you were saying I was entitled!

[quote rhowton]@WaxOnFeckOff people are losing their minds 🤷🏼‍♀️[/quote]
I know - i usually avoid these threads as I just despair but it's been nice to find people that are still able to make appropriate choices and think rationally and compassionately.

cant you still pass it on without knowing-even after the jab

@Robbybobtail

Oh, I’m so sorry charliespie - I thought you were saying I was entitled!

God no, I was agreeing with you!

@GabsAlot

cant you still pass it on without knowing-even after the jab

Yes

[quote rhowton]@WaxOnFeckOff people are losing their minds 🤷🏼‍♀️[/quote]
This thread is the most insane thing I've seen on MN. Most people's posts have absolutely no logic or reason to them at all.

I could cry for this poor 81 year old. And others like her whose daughters are posting here about what they would "allow" their mothers to do. Jeeze.

I would if it was my mum - give the lady a bit of dignity let her do her own shopping !

@GabsAlot

cant you still pass it on without knowing-even after the jab

You can pass it on too. Much more easily than she can.

Why aren't you more worried about your risk to others?

cant you still pass it on without knowing-even after the jab

They are still unsure of whether it reduces the risk or not, but people who have had it should absolutely still wear masks, socially distance and follow the normal guidelines. Doesn’t mean OP’s dm isn’t allowed out to do her own shopping though.

The advice everyone should be following is stay at home as much as you can unless essential or for local exercise. The vaccine is irrelevant.

Ask yourself honestly is a trip to Sainsburys essential now when it wasn't 2 weeks ago?