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Original poster

Would you take your elderly mum to Sainsbury's

870 replies

Icequeen01 · 12/01/2021 18:15

So I'm in such a quandary about this. My DM who is 81 has had both her jabs. She hasn't been out for weeks and weeks and I do her shopping each week when I do mine. She has told me she is coming with me to Sainsbury's next week as it will then be over a week since her booster. She knows she has to wear a mask, hand sanitise and socially distance etc.

I'm still not comfortable with taking her though. I've explained that they don't know if she can still transmit the virus but this is something she desperately wants to do, just to have a little bit of normality again and to be able to do her own shopping. She was very upset when I suggested she shouldn't come.

What would you do?

OP posts:
Whenwillow · 12/01/2021 20:25

My 84 year old mum has been doing her own shopping throughout.

WaxOnFeckOff · 12/01/2021 20:26

FFS this is not the plague, we aren't wrapping up dead bodies in every household and leaving them outside our doors. The main person who would have been at risk was OPs mum. she's had her jags, she is a grown adult who wants to do her shopping. The shop will have limits as to how many people are allowed in at once. The OPs mum being there isn't increasing anyone's risk, just that they may have to queue for a few extra minutes to get in.

The lack of brains, risk management and human compassion does my head in.

People need to get a fucking grip.

charliespie · 12/01/2021 20:26

@Handcarthell

If she's in a bubble then that's one household.

And one person should be shopping per household.

Yes I know that's not how it's being interpreted generally but it
Would make sense to me if it were.

That's not how it's being interpreted because that's not how it is.

saraclara · 12/01/2021 20:26

@Handcarthell

If she's in a bubble then that's one household.

And one person should be shopping per household.

Yes I know that's not how it's being interpreted generally but it
Would make sense to me if it were.

I'm in a support bubble with my daughter and her family. You're honestly saying that only one of us should be shopping for our two houses? Half an hour away from each other?
Handcarthell · 12/01/2021 20:27

This reply has been deleted

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Luckyonetwo · 12/01/2021 20:27

Yes.

saraclara · 12/01/2021 20:28

@WaxOnFeckOff

FFS this is not the plague, we aren't wrapping up dead bodies in every household and leaving them outside our doors. The main person who would have been at risk was OPs mum. she's had her jags, she is a grown adult who wants to do her shopping. The shop will have limits as to how many people are allowed in at once. The OPs mum being there isn't increasing anyone's risk, just that they may have to queue for a few extra minutes to get in.

The lack of brains, risk management and human compassion does my head in.

People need to get a fucking grip.

Seriously. I can't believe what I'm reading on this thread. What the hell has happened to people's brains?
katy1213 · 12/01/2021 20:28

I hope she calls herself a cab and swans off with two fingers up to the lot of you!

QueenPawPaws · 12/01/2021 20:29

@TheKeatingFive she wasn't shielding! But even so, if she was then yes you are advised to carry on after the vaccine

MrsMiaWallis · 12/01/2021 20:29

@katy1213

I hope she calls herself a cab and swans off with two fingers up to the lot of you!
Then that would be fine!
user1471600850 · 12/01/2021 20:30

My elderly Mum is 87 and she takes herself to Sainsburys and she hasn't had the vaccine!

saraclara · 12/01/2021 20:31

18 year old: at school, most of the time, hanging out with friends after school probably. Going to shops whenever they feel like it. Living in a family house with others who probably go to work and/or school too, mixing with lots of other people. Not vaccinated.

81 year old: hasn't left their house for weeks. Hasn't seen anyone but her DD. Has had both vaccinations.

Yet most people on this thread think the 81 year old is the risk in Sainsbury's? What insanity is this?

CeibaTree · 12/01/2021 20:32

I'd take her if she has asked - presuming her mind is still fully functioning why would you make this decision for her?

Original poster
Icequeen01 · 12/01/2021 20:32

My apologies. I had to leave the thread to do something. I can confirm that I am a support bubble for my mum who lives on her own.

OP posts:
MrsMiaWallis · 12/01/2021 20:32

@user1471600850

My elderly Mum is 87 and she takes herself to Sainsburys and she hasn't had the vaccine!
Yes I know loads of 80+ who've been shopping throughout. By themselves.
MrsMiaWallis · 12/01/2021 20:32

@Icequeen01

My apologies. I had to leave the thread to do something. I can confirm that I am a support bubble for my mum who lives on her own.
Then drive away! Enjoy your trip.
charliespie · 12/01/2021 20:33

@MrsMiaWallis

You say it would be fine for her to take a taxi but not to get a lift from her daughter. Are you mad? Like seriously? Taxis pose a much bigger risk. Taxi drivers very very high risk for catching covid. Why on earth would that be 'fine' Confused

WaxOnFeckOff · 12/01/2021 20:33

Seriously. I can't believe what I'm reading on this thread. What the hell has happened to people's brains?

We are engaging them but also having a bit of compassion for those who may not have much time left and have been left isolated from their community and family for the best part of a year. What right do you have to say that she can't go and do her shopping? That she is legally and morally allowed to do?

Robbybobtail · 12/01/2021 20:34

If someone has to wait longer in the queue because she fancies a trip out that's fine right?

Yes. It is. Why does your right to go to the shop trump the OP’s mums?

saraclara · 12/01/2021 20:34

@Icequeen01

My apologies. I had to leave the thread to do something. I can confirm that I am a support bubble for my mum who lives on her own.
Please, please read my post two above your last one, comparing an 18 year old to her. And please take her out. The poor woman is so isolated. Let her see life going on and choose her own food, for goodness' sake.

She's at little risk herself and is no risk to others.

kayakingmum · 12/01/2021 20:34

@Iminaglasscaseofemotion

Yes I would take her. She is an adult, she can make her own decisions. I would be fucking pissed off if my child told me at 81 I couldn't go to the shops.
That's how I would feel.
santabetterwashhishands · 12/01/2021 20:35

Yes she's as protected as she can be, it will be good for her mental health and Sainsbury's in my opinion is the safest chain of supermarkets during this pandemic.

C8H10N4O2 · 12/01/2021 20:35

It's a government rule
Car sharing is not permitted with anyone from outside your household or support bubble of course OP and her mum might have bubbled

Bubbles and caring responsibilities are both exemptions as are trips out for essential functions eg shopping and accessing services.

But keep on trucking.

saraclara · 12/01/2021 20:35

@WaxOnFeckOff

Seriously. I can't believe what I'm reading on this thread. What the hell has happened to people's brains?

We are engaging them but also having a bit of compassion for those who may not have much time left and have been left isolated from their community and family for the best part of a year. What right do you have to say that she can't go and do her shopping? That she is legally and morally allowed to do?

I'm saying she SHOULD go, FFS.
ekidmxcl · 12/01/2021 20:35

Yes I’d take her. Unless you live in the centre of London or somewhere like that.

She’s 81 and bluntly she can’t have a huge amount of time left. Why deny her a tiny bit of normality - she’s vaccinated. She’s no risk to anyone, herself included.

You could easily get in the supermarket with her. Just get her a separate trolley from her. It’s not against the law for her to shop for herself and you to shop for yourself. The restrictions are to stop a family of 4 traipsing round together for example. Or a couple from the same household going together for something to do. She is allowed to buy her groceries!!!!!

I’ll tell you something about the self appointed covid police. They uphold the rules unless they feel the need to break them. We have a woman in our area who is absolutely vocal about the rules and if anyone doesn’t adhere to them, she’ll shout at them (as a keyboard warrior obv). Didn’t stop her lying and taking an NHS covid test because she was worried (symptomatic and no contact with anyone positive). Of course her test came back negative. You aren’t breaking the law, she’s vaccinated so it’s fine.