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Original poster

I just need to vent - elderly relative has Covid due to selfishness of others

294 replies

Rinoachicken · 12/01/2021 10:20

So my elderly grandfather who is 97 and lives alone has been rushed to hospital with Covid and is now on oxygen.

Where did he get it from?

From my aunt and uncle, who provide some of his care along with my parents, and who couldn’t bear to not go on their annual Christmas holiday abroad because they are ‘special’ don’t you know and NEEDED to go. So having spent hours in germy airports and breathing recycled air on planes, they then couldnt be bothered to quarantine when they got home and instead went to visit my grandfather.

And then promptly came down with Covid.

No longer able to provide their share of care my parents did it all. No grandfather is in hospital fighting for his life and we have to wait and see if my parents have caught it from providing his care.

All because my fucking aunt and uncle thought they were more important than everyone else and that the rules didn’t apply to them. Goodness knows how many other people they have infected swanning about the community when they should have been quarantining.

Apparently they feel ‘really guilty’ now.

All they had to do to protect him was STAY AWAY. Just for 10 days would have been sufficient. They would have got the symptoms, tested positive, isolated etc but he would have been safe.

FFS

OP posts:
ErrorDetected · 12/01/2021 20:06

I think everyone trying to excuse the Aunt and Uncle here needs to really imagine themselves or their child in the place of the OP’s grandad, how he must be feeling and what he’s having to go through right now without the comfort of a relative. He’s potentially facing a very lonely death.

I’m sorry if I’ve distressed you further OP. I would be so angry in your place because of how thoughtless and avoidable this was.

Bohemiagirl · 12/01/2021 20:08

I'm speechless at some of the comments. I don't understand how some people on here think and why they would be so cruel.

BringPizza · 12/01/2021 20:09

I'm sorry OP, I hope your grandfather pulls through Flowers

Purplethrow · 12/01/2021 20:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Port1aCastis · 12/01/2021 20:13

Easy to be cocky and a nasty arse from a keypad
Reality is very different

Weirdfan · 12/01/2021 20:21

We didn't even visit my grandparents with a cold when they were very elderly, you just don't take the risk when they're so vulnerable. My DGF was 99 when he died and had been bedridden for some years so any kind of virus/infection could have been much more serious, it's baffling to me why your Aunt and Uncle would endanger your GF like that.

I'm so sorry you're all going through this because of them OP, I really hope he pulls through. Someone should answer your Aunt and Uncle's 'feel so guilty' comments with 'so you should', there's really no excuse for what they've done Flowers

ktp100 · 12/01/2021 20:28

How ANYBODY could defend their behaviour is literally beyond me.

Both your Aunt & Uncle AND the people on here defending their actions are Grade A Twunts.

SmileyClare · 12/01/2021 20:30

It's very inflammatory to describe an elderly person as "fighting for breath" or "drowning in fluid" and is not helpful for a distressed relative to hear. It's horribly emotive and incorrect.

Enough is now known about covid to provide symptomatic relief for respiratory distress; the patient will be kept comfortable and administered pain relief. Pneumonia has similar symptoms and is very common in elderly patients. The patients are peaceful and not left in distress.

FunnyInjury · 12/01/2021 20:45

Surely your parents are entirely complicit if 4 relatives were visiting your grandfather anyway.

Aunt and Uncle might be stupid but so are the others visiting him imo.

They are all rule breakers no?

Washingmyself · 12/01/2021 20:53

All these people here saying bollocks about : well he is old anyway bla bla bla ....SHAME ON YOU!!!
97 or 37 who cares. He could be here well another couple of years and every year or even a day with him is precious to OP..!!
Some disgusting people here, these are probably the selfish bastards who break the rules and why we are in this shit!

SmileyClare · 12/01/2021 20:56

We didn't even visit my grandparents with a cold when they were very elderly, you just don't take the risk. My dgf was 99 when he died and had been bedridden for some years

That's a different set of circumstances but I think it illustrates that sometimes families are wanting immortality for an elderly relative over any quality of life. That's an uncomfortable view for a lot of people and I appreciate that's not a discussion to be had on this thread.

Gingerkittykat · 12/01/2021 21:09

Are you prepapred to contact the police and report your aunt and uncle for their lack of quarentining?

They have been selfish and reckless and should face the full consequences of their actions.

SmileyClare · 12/01/2021 21:16

The updated government guidance states that no self isolation period is needed when travelling from the allowed "travel corridors" abroad. In other words, it is not enforceable by law and carries no penalty.

XenoBitch · 12/01/2021 21:16

It is good to vent, and if you feel this is a safe space to do so then vent away! But, if you are going to have a go at your aunt and uncle, or even report them to the police like I have seen suggested..... hold off. Now is not the time. Your grandfather, their father, is ill in hospital. If things do end poorly, they will need support, not judgement. You all will.

Weirdfan · 12/01/2021 21:29

With zero all due respect SmileyClare how fucking dare you suggest we wanted my DGF's 'immortality' over his quality of life? You knew nothing about him, his life or it's quality, he would have wanted every second he could wrestle out of life. It's not often I let people on here fuck me off but you've managed it tonight, well done.

SmileyClare · 12/01/2021 21:36

I apologise Weirdfan my comments overstepped the mark and I do regret posting that. You're right, I don't know your family's set of circumstances and I shouldn't have used your post as an example when trying to make a point.

I'm sorry I upset you.

Lesson learned.

TiddyTid · 12/01/2021 21:52

How's GF doing OP? Thanks

Weirdfan · 12/01/2021 21:55

Thank you SmileyClare, no hard feelings it's just a sensitive subject for me. I shouldn't have bitten though so I'm sorry too x

Watermelon999 · 12/01/2021 21:57

Completely understand why you’re so cross with them OP.

It’s frustrating that people feel their “need” or entitlement for a holiday trumps the safety of others, especially a much loved family member.

They must be very thick or selfish

Watermelon999 · 12/01/2021 21:57

I hope he recovers well.

Worst · 12/01/2021 22:01

@SmileyClare Enough is now known about covid to provide symptomatic relief for respiratory distress; the patient will be kept comfortable and administered pain relief. Pneumonia has similar symptoms and is very common in elderly patients. The patients are peaceful and not left in distress.

I can’t thank you enough for posting that. I won’t go into the reasons why, but that was tremendously reassuring and helpful. Thank you.

Frazzled2207 · 12/01/2021 22:06

I'm so sorry to read this, I'd be bloody fuming and be NC with them.
if he's had the vaccine then there is every chance it will hit him less hard than it would have done. Will hope that he recovers soon.

coronafiona · 12/01/2021 22:12

Oh no I'm so sorry I hope he is ok.
They were stupid and selfish but they didn't do it deliberately.
I would also be fuming though.

SmileyClare · 12/01/2021 22:15

Of course it's a sensitive subject weirdfan I'm not sure what the fuck I was thinking talking about quality of life on this thread anyway. You've been kind to accept my apology!

worst Flowers

DivaBeliever · 12/01/2021 22:17

What a horrible situation. Your poor grandad alone in hospital. I think venting on here is the least you're entitled to do!!!

Whatever happens next (and of course I hope your Grandad makes a speedy recovery) I can't see how your Aunt and Uncle can occupy a place of love and respect in the family again. Whatever is said - or not said - their card is marked now.

They have been selfish, thoughtless and reckless.

You can't unring that bell.