Fed up with being called selfish for having kids in school

[Namechangeforcontroversy]

NC just in case

I’m so exhausted with people laying into other parents for being selfish for sending their children into school. Most of my friends ended up in tears daily, having to be furloughed and later losing their jobs and being fairly confident that having children contributed to that during the last lockdown. Parents cannot work from home effectively while homeschooling one or more children especially EYFS/KS1. These children are being failed. Parents who have important (but not key worker) jobs and who are reliant on both salaries are being thrown under a bus for months on end. I understand why the schools had to close but it’s almost unbearable on a daily basis for parents at the moment. Working every hour under the sun, attempting to keep up with home schooling, cook, clean, get some sunlight to help with MH. My standards have slipped but we still need to eat even if it’s just a sandwich for lunch and something for dinner.

Parents are seen as selfish for being anxious about living in mess, off ready meals, no time for exercise or health for weeks on end with no end point for the greater good. When did caring about your family become selfish. When did we have to think about every other person in the UK before ourselves.

I know it’s a pandemic and it’s shit for everyone. But I have to say day to day it’s got to be hardest for full time wfh parents with young children.

My three are in school as DH and I are paramedics. I see the impact of covid every day and it’s horrendous. But I also so friends who are shells of the people they once were and are weeks away from a complete breakdown. From losing jobs and their home. From their mental health deteriorating to the point that they can’t function. And that’s bloody terrifying too.

I agree with you op. No parent should feel guilty for taking a school place that they need ( and I've got DS at home so it's not me they're bashing).

I really don't get this obsession with SAHMs taking the kids. Firstly how do you know their work status? I certainly didn't for everyone in DSs primary school class.

Second, why is it that any post that raises benefit cheats has MN howling that 'they're a minority' (well yes the ones that are caught) and telling posters to mind their own business and that they 'cannot possibly know if their neighbour has a live in partner and is claiming as a single mum'. But these sorts of posts bashing mums for sending their kids in. Goodness if I was having to use a place I'd feel really upset at these threads.

It's the HT job to police it - they are able to ask For proof of employer and job times etc. If all these SAHMs are getting places then the HT isn't doing their job properly.

Yes of course, if I don't agree with you I simply can't be female. Because we are a monolithic group

I just hope the gov gets a lot tougher on the restrictions, and sends more kids home. This is the only NHS we have, for all its current failings. I'd like to be able to get treated if I have a medical emergency.

[quote Nicknamegoeshere]@squeezeapplesmakejuice I do get it must be hard to WFH with little ones around, but is it impossible?[/quote]
Homeschooling a severely sn non verbal child is impossible for me. Her school have tactics that work plus they are all trained in teaching severely disabled children. No guilt at all here

Yes, it seems that many parents are taking the piss and claiming to be key workers when they are not - as for whatever reason they don't want to look after their own children - but this clearly does not apply to you OP, so don't give it another thought!

To add to my comment below. My dd has an EHC plan so can return to school part time as she is considered vulnerable.

To the OP, I remember you posting a while back when your occupation was a teacher plus you were also nurse in the NHS who had worked in a covid ward. At the time you were very derogatory towards teachers who were understandably concerned about being in school with no PPE. You were belittling them and telling them to get on with it and stop moaning as you were doing. But it turned out you were still on maternity leave and you never went near a covid ward or a school.

I don't know why people are so eager to start these threads. Stirring up worry and hoping to gee up genuine parents? Some of the people adding to the thread are doing the same.

@mrshoho

To the OP, I remember you posting a while back when your occupation was a teacher plus you were also nurse in the NHS who had worked in a covid ward. At the time you were very derogatory towards teachers who were understandably concerned about being in school with no PPE. You were belittling them and telling them to get on with it and stop moaning as you were doing. But it turned out you were still on maternity leave and you never went near a covid ward or a school.

I don't know why people are so eager to start these threads. Stirring up worry and hoping to gee up genuine parents? Some of the people adding to the thread are doing the same.

Yes, it’s all a bit weird. Almost like they have an agenda. The name change fail was quite the eye opener.

I found a picture of OP.

@Nellodee 😆😆

@Itisasecret It is very weird. This one really stuck with me. It's hard to know what is true or made up but when NHS frontline staff minimise the virus it's more obvious to spot.

@squeezeapplesmakejuice Apologies, I thought you said you had two children.

@SueEllenMishke

Im not sure this is a time to moan about not having time to read ffs. If you have kids and a job you are very buys. If you are a young single person living by themselves you are trying to cheer yourself up with the thought you can read lots etc.

You've misunderstood my post. I was responding to a poster who thinks we all have time to teach our kids to cook, see, change a tyre etc.... all while trying to work and homeschool. This idea that now the kids are off school we suddenly have all this extra time is incorrect.

Reading is one of few pleasures we have at the moment and always prioritise it in this house!!

Apologies!

It's definitely incorrect. As per last time I am now working 7 days a week to fit everything in around homeschooling x 3 (one is 10 and pretty good so really 2). It's hardcore. It doesn't merit a school place unless you can't WFH and work in essential industries in my opinion though.

Also agree on reading personally, wish my kids did!