There is nothing in my children’s lives

[Howdydooo]

It’s all been taken away again.

I know it’s a pandemic. I know it’s temporary (but don’t know how temporary).

Screens are no substitute for friends.

They will not be fooled again by home structure and schooling. They have nowhere to go, no one to see and nowhere to go. And they know how long it went on for last time.

@yeramuppetharry

What the fuck do you want to happen then? Your kids go to school, 'play with friends' and thousands more die? Christ the selfishness of people is ridiculous.

God your boring. Have you read the survival rate or are you just hoping we all die?!!

@yawnsvillex no doubt you're one of those people who would be happy filming empty corridors saying covid doesn't exist.

Lockdown is for a reason. Get a grip.

@TangoWhiskyAlphaTango that made me laugh!! My ds1 is 16 too, and the thought of that...!
Last lockdown we watched all the marvel movies in order. Ds actually enjoyed it, and it means he sat in a room that WE WERE ALSO IN for hours at a time, without being forced!

I'm not sure what we will do this time, maybe board/strategy games? Probably not dancing though!

It’s unbelievable. People (adults) are forcing children to sacrifice childhood and I don’t think that is overstating matters.
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Not being able to have playmates for long durations of time, for a year? I mean seriously who is actually kidding themselves into believing that is not seriously, seriously damaging

It’s not even just about school (though that’s a big part of it). If schools close then playmate bubbles (small) should be allowed, facilitated by families who agree to it

It’s effectively torturing young kids who are the least able to cope with the torture*

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A pp is right, you are massively catastrophising, OP. Children tortured because no playdates?! When children are dying elsewhere in the world?!

My ds is nearly14 and has asd, he needs the structure and routine of school and simply cannot cope with remote learning. He is so depressed and his lifeline is his online gaming community. At least he gets to mix with fellow teens.
I feel like crying a whole generation of youngsters missing out on vital education

For my yr11 DS they have just had the rug pulled from under them. He so desperately wanted to go back to school after socially isolating over Christmas for the good of the vulnerable. Friendships are so important at their age and he is really struggling as an only child in a rural environment.
I am really hoping that school abandon the teaching to exam curriculum and start teaching them to reignite interest in subjects. Hopefully start teaching the A level syllabus so that they achieve something in 2023.

Of course your children have things in their lives. Every single day they are learning and growing in different ways. They will have learned lots from this pandemic — resilience, flexibility and the value of making do when things are not great. It would be ideal if everything went smoothly for our kids but that’s not life. As others have said you can catastrophize or you can make the best of a shit situation. Either way your attitude will rub off on your children.

Also how have your children not had playmates for a year? We spent all summer and much of autumn meeting up with friends outdoors, is there a reason you didn’t do that?

Is there a thread for those who don't think their kids are being literally tortured and who don't catastrophise? Maybe it's full of people who try and make the best of things, have some perspective and who recognise that things are tough, perhaps really really tough at times, but so are we and they have lots of strategies to cope? Because I feel like I'd fit in there and would benefit from the experiences of others like that (and I would roll my eyes a lot less).

DC are 10 and 14, they've spent more time outside this autumn/winter than ever before because they've met up with friends or a friend, depending on what ever rule is current, whatever the weather. The 14 yo has done some epic bike rides with one friend through wind and rain and actually claimed to have enjoyed them! I know it's not the same and now this current lockdown is taking even more options away but I'm trying to stay positive and keep up helping them organise taking their exercise with a friend each day.

PP are right, it’s a question of shifting your mindset and trying to be positive (difficult, I know.) They can contact friends, they can go outside, they can do activities indoors and out with you, as a family. Children who have illnesses miss an awful lot of school and when they’re better, they usually catch up socially and academically. This is much better for your your children as they aren’t I’ll and everyone is in the same boat. By Spring, everything will look so much brighter. It’s just a few weeks, or months. That’s no time over a lifetime, or even a childhood.

Its not true if there is nothing in your children's lives - they have you. Many teenagers would react to this with absolute horror but it is nonetheless true! I think while many children (mine included) are really struggling at the moment, the ones with caring parents who are able to provide stability and comfort will be fine long term. It is the ones with less of a stable/loving background who are likely to feel the effects for longer (this is true for all kinds of disruptive events big and small).

I think were incredibly lucky - the stuff outthere to do at home is amazing now, far more than many children have worldwide! This time round its much easier because we've done it before, the playgrounds are open and libraries are open. So you can get out and play together at the park, exercise, get access to any books etc you could ever dream, and I expect you have internet access which is amazing! We know all the stuff from before and its all there - cosmic yoga etc and joe wicks starting up again etc etc, make it fun for the kids, make a schedule and stick to it. We have yoga classes with friends and ballet classes with friends and gaming together with whats app chat, the opportunities are amazing. They can also learn new skills, espcially in the kitchen, give them a love of cooking by making it really fun and set them in charge of things - if they are old enough they can make lunch etc. They can zoom friends too with different things like kids quiz or cooking group or book group anything depending on age. They will think its rubbish if you think its rubbish, this is the time to make them think you think its great. let them appreciate the things they do have. This is all a hell of a lot harder for a lot of kids in the world right now.

Tell them to direct their anger at the Chinese government!

@Lindtballsrock But the children aren’t hiding in bunkers/basements from bombs and having their food rationed..as children did in this country a few generations ago, and as children still are in some other countries.

Those children are in groups. They have each other and are able to interact with other children which is essential for normal development. We are a social species and isolation is harmful.

@MusicMan65 We know it’s you Donald. Get back on the golf course.

I feel so saddened by this :( so true.

My children's childhood is not "being sacrificed " they're having to stay home for another 6 weeks. Yes it's a bit shit but if this is the worst thing that happens to them in their lives, they'll be very fortunate.

I think this thread is a bit dramatic. I mean how high are kids expectations nowadays? When I was a kid our favourite place to be was home. Mine are younger (primary) and I worry a little for their socialisation but honestly they are perfectly happy being at home/walking. Maybe it’s because that’s pretty much what we do anyway. We don’t have big holidays, constant trips, play dates. They do a couple of activities which I'm sure they would like to return too. They miss school but it’s never occurred to me they will be damaged for life. They will just learn how to entertain themselves and I think it’s a good skill to have. Maybe I’m incredibly naive to think that. We can’t change it though so we all need to accept it.

Not necessarily. My gran remembers being a 5 year old and spending a large proportion of several months hiding in a basement with her parents and elderly neighbours whilst their town was repeatedly bombed. She was an only child. As others have said, it does children no good to convince ourselves that this is the worst thing that could possibly ever happen to them. It isn’t. It’s not a good time for them but it is not the hardest thing children have ever dealt with.

@IrisAtwood are you seriously saying youd rather have you kids hungry in a basement being bombed than at home with you for 6 weeks chatting to their mates on SM?

@Lindtballsrock

Not necessarily. My gran remembers being a 5 year old and spending a large proportion of several months hiding in a basement with her parents and elderly neighbours whilst their town was repeatedly bombed. She was an only child. As others have said, it does children no good to convince ourselves that this is the worst thing that could possibly ever happen to them. It isn’t. It’s not a good time for them but it is not the hardest thing children have ever dealt with.

@IrisAtwood

I hear you, OP. I have three kids aged 12 - 17. Exams cancelled again, all their extra-curricular dancing, drama, singing is on zoom. No sports. No driving lessons - oldest child was 17 in February last year and lessons have been on, off, on again, off again, on again, and now off. She's had about 8. Socialising with friends on screens is not the same.

People with younger children really don't get it - learn a dance every day ffs.

@oakleaffy

The pic of the little starving boy with the vulture waiting is horrible. We are very spoiled in the West.

There is always someone worse off.

That poor little boy is probably dead by now, having known only the aching permanent gnawing of hunger.

Poor little lad.

Little girl actually. Not sure if it's been said yet but the photographer killed himself...

LOL, OK I was being bigly flippant, but it's important for them to be reminded that Covid was not the fault of anyone in this country, that the Chinese government DID delay issuing information by a week, and that made a huge difference to our response, but that yes our government was slow to act, seemingly always one step behind the curve etc...BUT we now have a vaccine etc.

In WW2 in the cities of the UK children died randomly and unpredictably from Nazi bombs, and no one could save them. In terms of physical harm, Covid is simply not on that scale for the majority of healthy young people, as it mostly carries off the old and/or ill.

So ask your kids when they moan - would they prefer to be living in 2020 or 1940? I know what my answer would be!

Sorry, but they do need to get some perspective here and understand that the world is not a playground for their entertainment but actually a rather dangerous place, and that pre Covid they were living in the safest country in the world.

They should do what previous generations had to do - make their own entertainment, not be defined by what other people or social media tell them, discover their own inner life rather than passively expecting the world to entertain them every minute of the day, they might actually end up better people for it ironically. Anne Frank turned her awful, confined, tragic, short life into a work of literature. However bad they think life is now, they need to understand that it could be far worse, and indeed there are many kids in the world for whom it already is far worse.