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There is nothing in my children’s lives

708 replies

Howdydooo · 05/01/2021 01:01

It’s all been taken away again.

I know it’s a pandemic. I know it’s temporary (but don’t know how temporary).

Screens are no substitute for friends.

They will not be fooled again by home structure and schooling. They have nowhere to go, no one to see and nowhere to go. And they know how long it went on for last time.

OP posts:
ArDali1 · 07/01/2021 14:12

formerbabe
RIP to your parents. But I'd like to think that if they were still alive and well now, I believe you will probably do as much as you can to keep them alive during this pandemic.
And my kids grandparents have as much reason to stay alive now so they can still hopefully live for another 10-20years. Yes death is normal but if I can protect many parents/grandparents now who still have a while to live if covid hasn't killed them yet, then I'm happy to keep my kids off of school.

formerbabe · 07/01/2021 14:31

I'm happy to keep my kids off of school

For how long? I'd imagine you'd have a limit to how much you'd tolerate? I exceeded mine a long time ago!

ninka68 · 07/01/2021 14:37

Read a copy of "A Journal of the Plague Year" by Daniel Defoe together...it's fascinating and puts everything into perspective. (Good education as well with reading and history). Then get them to write their own diary, (good for creative writing and for distancing the feelings). Tell them that this is a "story" which they can share with their own kids one day! 2020-2021...this was what it was like. This will help them see that this will pass, their lives will go on and it is just a passage, an episode in long life hopefully not the whole thing. Use their and your creativity to paint the feelings as well. We humans are resourceful, don't get stuck in seeing only the bad bits and feeling bored/frustrated etc. Life is still good and we are lucky to be alive in a time when science can help us get out of this so quickly!

nopuppiesallowed · 07/01/2021 15:26

Brilliant, ninka68. Everyone knows this is a horrible time. It doesn't help much to compare to other horrible times in the past. BUT we are where we are. We have to show our children that humans are resilient, that we can still find something to be happy about, that we have a future. We have to play our part in making them feel secure. And also that we can all be a force for good by trying to help others during this time. Perhaps a daily phone call to an old person who is isolated and lonely, or a letter and a drawing.

LovelyIssues · 07/01/2021 16:57

@pinkyu I totally agree. It's getting very silly now

LovelyIssues · 07/01/2021 16:58

@formerbabe you have a limit for how long you tolerate your kids?!! Your own kids... That you chose to have Confused that's really sad

formerbabe · 07/01/2021 17:01

[quote LovelyIssues]@formerbabe you have a limit for how long you tolerate your kids?!! Your own kids... That you chose to have Confused that's really sad[/quote]
Odfod

You know full well I never fucking said that

ArDali1 · 07/01/2021 17:06

formerbabe
For as long as it's needed. I can tolerate my kids.

formerbabe · 07/01/2021 17:10

@ArDali1

formerbabe For as long as it's needed. I can tolerate my kids.
Yeah and I never said I couldn't so get lost
DenisetheMenace · 07/01/2021 17:14

Formerbabe

“Children lose their grandparents all the time and have always done so. Its not unusual. Most people feel sad and then feel better and remember them fondly. The loss of grandparents doesn't usually cause serious mental health problems for people

Solitary confinement is like torture though“

Most children now don’t lose their grandparents until the children themselves are adults. An awful lot of people in their late fifties/60s have (and support/give care to) grandchildren. The majority have another good 20 years+

This disease is exceptional and is killing people who would normally have gone on to be productive members of society for decades.

If you genuinely care about the education of children, you need to get behind this lockdown and comply until the vaccine is rolled out effectively to control infections. If you and many others don’t, we will be stuck in this stop/start situation for far, far longer.

I understand the frustration. Out 17 year old has been remote learning, bar 6 days, since mid-February to protect his dad. Some people are isolated, have been for nearly a year. Your children aren’t.

formerbabe · 07/01/2021 17:18

If you genuinely care about the education of children, you need to get behind this lockdown and comply until the vaccine

Where the fuck did I say I wasn't complying?

DenisetheMenace · 07/01/2021 17:27

No need to be so rude.

Get behind means mentally as well as physically. You’re not helping your children by being so negative. “Smiley mummy” you may be, but they’ll know how you feel and it won’t help them.

eeeyoresmiles · 07/01/2021 17:28

Lockdown is not happening to stop old people dying. It's frustrating this is still apparently misunderstood (or that it's being ignored for rhetorical purposes).

Lockdown is to stop hospitals becoming so full of people needing covid treatment that they can't treat any more people - for anything, not just covid - people of all ages.

Covid puts about 10% of people who test positive in hospital. Most of those people will survive, but only with that hospital treatment. Lots of them are under 70. We had over 60,000 people test positive yesterday. That means in 2-3 weeks potentially another 6000 people admitted to hospital from today's cases only. At the peak of the first wave we only had 21,000 people in hospital for covid on the highest day.

Stopping lockdown and letting cases keep rising to save education would not help the country in any way at all. It wouldn't just mean a few old people dying or whatever it is that formerbabe would be happy to have happen as an alternative to her children missing school. It would eventually mean bringing all kinds of healthcare to a halt for people of all ages.

It's possible she might still not care, and that she's willing to gamble that no one in her family would need healthcare, but surely at least it's obvious that arguments about average age of death are a red herring here?

www.newsweek.com/spiralling-covid-cases-are-overwhelming-hospitals-uk-1559673

I'm also not aware that anyone has suggested saying to children that it's OK, they could be in a war zone. It's those adults who are finding it hard not to catastrophise and who go round saying their children now have nothing in their lives, who in some cases might benefit from a bit more perspective. This is partly because being able to see those positives that are still in their children's lives, in amongst the very definite negatives, can actually help (and it doesn't mean pretending the negatives aren't there, either).

formerbabe · 07/01/2021 17:31

@DenisetheMenace

No need to be so rude.

Get behind means mentally as well as physically. You’re not helping your children by being so negative. “Smiley mummy” you may be, but they’ll know how you feel and it won’t help them.

Wow, incredible. Our physical movement is being controlled and I'm complying but now my thought process isn't allowed to be my own either. How much of an actual drone do I now have to be?
ArDali1 · 07/01/2021 17:42

formerbabe
I was just answering your question. Didn't say that you couldn't tolerate them, though the way you word things almost implies that you can't. But I don't know you and I can believe that you are trying your best to keep the house sane... Flowers

DenisetheMenace · 07/01/2021 17:44

For your own well-being, formerbabe. Pragmatism will make this a whole lot easier for you. We are where we are and being so angry about it will just harm you and do your family no good.
Yes, the next few months will be bad but it really won’t last for ever. Your children will have a normal life again in the not to distant future.
What Oxford have achieved is incredible.

formerbabe · 07/01/2021 18:00

@ArDali1

formerbabe I was just answering your question. Didn't say that you couldn't tolerate them, though the way you word things almost implies that you can't. But I don't know you and I can believe that you are trying your best to keep the house sane... Flowers
Are you really so myopic that you cannot imagine any other reasons why a parent might want their children to be able to attend school?
BexR · 07/01/2021 18:31

@eeeyoresmiles

Lockdown is not happening to stop old people dying. It's frustrating this is still apparently misunderstood (or that it's being ignored for rhetorical purposes).

Lockdown is to stop hospitals becoming so full of people needing covid treatment that they can't treat any more people - for anything, not just covid - people of all ages.

Covid puts about 10% of people who test positive in hospital. Most of those people will survive, but only with that hospital treatment. Lots of them are under 70. We had over 60,000 people test positive yesterday. That means in 2-3 weeks potentially another 6000 people admitted to hospital from today's cases only. At the peak of the first wave we only had 21,000 people in hospital for covid on the highest day.

Stopping lockdown and letting cases keep rising to save education would not help the country in any way at all. It wouldn't just mean a few old people dying or whatever it is that formerbabe would be happy to have happen as an alternative to her children missing school. It would eventually mean bringing all kinds of healthcare to a halt for people of all ages.

It's possible she might still not care, and that she's willing to gamble that no one in her family would need healthcare, but surely at least it's obvious that arguments about average age of death are a red herring here?

www.newsweek.com/spiralling-covid-cases-are-overwhelming-hospitals-uk-1559673

I'm also not aware that anyone has suggested saying to children that it's OK, they could be in a war zone. It's those adults who are finding it hard not to catastrophise and who go round saying their children now have nothing in their lives, who in some cases might benefit from a bit more perspective. This is partly because being able to see those positives that are still in their children's lives, in amongst the very definite negatives, can actually help (and it doesn't mean pretending the negatives aren't there, either).

Such a good post @eeeyoresmiles. Agree 100%
corythatwas · 07/01/2021 18:36

Why was it ok in ww2 for young men to die to protect our freedoms but now death is so awful that we should give up our freedom to avoid it?

But people gave up all sorts of freedoms to protect others during WW2. They accepted blackout not for a month or two but for years, not just for their own sakes but so that bombs wouldn't fall on the neighbourhood. And yes, it is well documented that blackout did have an effect on people's mental health. Also of course had an adverse effect on traffic safety.

They accepted rationing again for many years to make sure that everybody would have enough to eat.

ArDali1 · 07/01/2021 18:52

formerbabe
I was actually being nice, what's wrong with you. I'm not stupid. I know there are many reasons for why parents want their kids in school. I know some who have told me in their own words they cannot cope with the responsibilities and hate it and dread the holidays. I know of people who have MH problems and I help them when I can.
Home schooling is a thing and many people have been able to do it and still do it. You can still teach kids quality of life, how to socialise etc without sending them to school. This is not forever let's hope for your sake that schools reopen in less than a month.

formerbabe · 07/01/2021 19:08

@ArDali1

formerbabe For as long as it's needed. I can tolerate my kids.
How is this a nice comment? Insinuating I want my dc in school because I can't tolerate them.
TheSunIsStillShining · 07/01/2021 19:18

Anyone who equates lockdown/schools closed to solitary confinement in the 21st century needs to get their head checked.
It is the stupidest thing I've read today

ArDali1 · 07/01/2021 19:40

formerbabe
I'm sorry if it came out that way, as I said I was just answering your question "For how long? I'd imagine you'd have a limit to how much you'd tolerate? "

formerbabe · 07/01/2021 19:44

No problem...I meant tolerate children not being able to attend school for their own benefit rather than tolerate my dc being around!

LastTrainEast · 09/01/2021 10:55

@formerbabe

It's not just your DC's grandmother and my dcs education. It's all of our dc. I don't take pleasure at the thought of anyone dying, but no I don't think elderly people dying is an especially tragic or unusual occurrence.

Why was it ok in ww2 for young men to die to protect our freedoms but now death is so awful that we should give up our freedom to avoid it?

You can't see death as awful when it's happening to other people, but I'm betting you would if it were you.

Imagine we're making a list now of people we're going to sacrifice. Your name is 4th down. Are you still ok with it?