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Original poster

There is nothing in my children’s lives

708 replies

Howdydooo · 05/01/2021 01:01

It’s all been taken away again.

I know it’s a pandemic. I know it’s temporary (but don’t know how temporary).

Screens are no substitute for friends.

They will not be fooled again by home structure and schooling. They have nowhere to go, no one to see and nowhere to go. And they know how long it went on for last time.

OP posts:
Happyhappyday · 05/01/2021 01:49

As for torturing little ones - there has actually been research done on this and other points in history where kiddos lives have been disrupted and guess what, they are ok! Also, even if it is torture, WTF would you suggest instead?

hopingforonlychild · 05/01/2021 01:50

@Howdydooo I think it was close to a month? I know in china, it was longer. It wasn't that long. I remember when they announced schools to be closed, I actually had an exam the next day so was happy. But I remember being really bored. Also I didn't have my own phone or my own computer so couldn't keep in contact with classmates. It was just me and my books. My parents were working all day and all night and my grandparents didn't take me out either.

0gfhty · 05/01/2021 01:50

It's completely wrong. I find the callings for online learning worse since it can create such an unhealthy relationship between parent and child. Not to mention the societal inequality it creates. It feels like it would be more honest to say the schools and children activities are closed and we are not providing an education for now.

Original poster
Howdydooo · 05/01/2021 01:51

Thanks everyone some really great tips there for pulling through. I do appreciate it

OP posts:
PinkyU · 05/01/2021 01:53

Honestly I think you’re massively catastrophising. Your kids aren’t in danger, they’re not being shot at, smuggled for labour or paedophile gangs. They’re not suffering from a terminal illness or watching their sibling or parent die.

They’re in an uncomfortable and difficult situation that’s different to what they’re used to. They can safely access emotional or mental health support should they require it.

I know that’s probably not what you want to hear, but surely some proportion is required here.

Having worked in a children’s hospice and seen actual childhoods be damaged.

Original poster
Howdydooo · 05/01/2021 01:56

@PinkyU thank you for your reply and it is helpful

OP posts:
TheSunIsStillShining · 05/01/2021 01:57

and yet, people have survived for many 1000s of years without these modern amenities.
It's a shit time, yes. But as long as they have a place to live, loving parents and food they will be fine.

bluebird3 · 05/01/2021 01:58

The people who the going to do the best coping with this lockdown are going the ones who are able to alter their mindset.

Instead of - we can't go to restaurants, it's let's see what we can learn to make at home

Instead of - we can't go to the playground, it's let's see what physical challenges we can do at home

Instead of - my kids can't play with friends, it's let's see what my kids can play together or with me

Believe me, I know it's shit but in times like these attitude is 90% of the battle. This is your greatest moment to shine as a parent to teach your kid about resiliency in the face of adversity.

It's more damaging to teach them to whinge that it's the governments fault/ it's not fair/ that rules should be ,changed just for them.

WhatwouldAnneFrankthinkofus · 05/01/2021 02:03

Yes, it's a change to everyone's routine and usual lifestyle. But you need to get some perspective .I am assuming you live in the UK, a rich country which gives children plenty of opportunities and a reasonably good welfare system to fall back on. Your children have electricity , gas, screens ,clean water, food in their bellies and a warm bed to sleep in. You can't really say there is nothing in your children's lives. They are very lucky to have what they already have. You need to look further afield to see what children from poorer countries have to deal with. You'll see real suffering. You'll see children who truly don't have anything in their lives. Then you'll realise you have no right to complain. The children in this country have a lot in life when compared to a lot of children around the world - but its just never enough. The parents sense of entitlement is rubbing off on children and the slightest inconvenience is a big issue.
I was complaining that I had no shoes till I met a man who had no feet

WhatwouldAnneFrankthinkofus · 05/01/2021 02:06

Yes, it's a change to routine and everyone's usual lifestyle. But you need to get some perspective .I am assuming you live in the UK, a rich country which gives children plenty of opportunities and a reasonably good welfare system to fall back on. Your children have electricity , gas, screens ,clean water, food in their bellies and a warm bed to sleep in. You can't say there is nothing in your children's lives. They are very lucky to have what they already have. You need to look further afield to see what children from poorer countries have to deal with. You'll see real suffering. You'll see children who truly don't have anything in their lives. Then you'll realise you have no right to complain. The children in this country have a lot in life - its just never enough.
I was complaining that I had no shoes till I met a man who had no feet

donewithitalltodayandxmas · 05/01/2021 02:06

Whats the alternative though?
I have 2 teens and its been crap for them , they try to go for a run couple times a week and sometimes went with one friend when that was allowed.
In some ways grateful for xbox as they keep in touch with friends that way
What age are your children ?

bathorshower · 05/01/2021 02:07

Hi OP, you haven't said exactly how old your children are, but if one of them is under 14, you can form a childcare bubble. We've just done this with another family for the sake of DD's mental health. You can only bubble with one family though, which may make choosing tough.

ItsNotGreenItsBlue · 05/01/2021 02:09

They have a loving home, food on the table, parents that’ll spend time with them. It’s not all doom and gloom, I know it’s bloody hard but they’ve not lost everything Flowers

donewithitalltodayandxmas · 05/01/2021 02:09

@bathorshower aren't childcare bubbles only for purpose of childcare though ?

happystone · 05/01/2021 02:11

It’s hard. Don’t put you feelings on you children. We just got to carry on and have hope. This will be over soon take care of youself

Original poster
Howdydooo · 05/01/2021 02:14

Thank you

OP posts:
happystone · 05/01/2021 02:15

Childcare bubbles are for child care ie young children or children who can’t be left alone, please don’t everyone do this as poster above I need my child back in school ASAP we don’t need bubbles of teenagers everywhere they may as well be in school

Fancycrackers · 05/01/2021 02:17

@WhatwouldAnneFrankthinkofus

Yes, it's a change to everyone's routine and usual lifestyle. But you need to get some perspective .I am assuming you live in the UK, a rich country which gives children plenty of opportunities and a reasonably good welfare system to fall back on. Your children have electricity , gas, screens ,clean water, food in their bellies and a warm bed to sleep in. You can't really say there is nothing in your children's lives. They are very lucky to have what they already have. You need to look further afield to see what children from poorer countries have to deal with. You'll see real suffering. You'll see children who truly don't have anything in their lives. Then you'll realise you have no right to complain. The children in this country have a lot in life when compared to a lot of children around the world - but its just never enough. The parents sense of entitlement is rubbing off on children and the slightest inconvenience is a big issue. I was complaining that I had no shoes till I met a man who had no feet
This.

Get a grip. It will be a few months maybe a bit longer. Perfect time to learn and pass on some resilience skills. Or alternatively flout the rules and guess what, the pandemic will continue to rage.

oakleaffy · 05/01/2021 02:19

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InsertRudeWord · 05/01/2021 02:19

They will pick up a lot from you - so if you can possibly stay cheerful, it will help. It's rubbish for them though.

oakleaffy · 05/01/2021 02:26

The pic of the little starving boy with the vulture waiting is horrible.
We are very spoiled in the West.

There is always someone worse off.

That poor little boy is probably dead by now, having known only the aching permanent gnawing of hunger.

Poor little lad.

Charles11 · 05/01/2021 02:28

Just keep doing stuff op. Reframe things.
Get out of the house daily,
Can they meet up with one friend at a time for a walk, bike ride or something? I think you can. It’s not ideal but better than no contact with friends.
School work will keep them busy.
Learn things and enjoy relaxing, watching films, reading, Netflix binged, chatting to friends.

donewithitalltodayandxmas · 05/01/2021 02:28

@oakleaffy my friend is having chemo for cancer but if the hospitals get overwhelmed or they get too many off then the treatment will stop also .

donewithitalltodayandxmas · 05/01/2021 02:31

@oakleaffy you also realise anyone can be a covid sufferer , yes more likely of older but I know my kids don't look at if as having their life taken just to keep older people alive
They understand the bigger picture as we have discussed it with them.

happystone · 05/01/2021 02:33

My children are teenagers and 20 yes no one likes lockdowns but they do not think “They had there lives” the people in there 70 80 90 are there grandparent and family members. A lot in there 20 work in care homes and have empathy. I can about people having cancer treatments etc people in there 70 and 80 have cancer treatment. You Know a lot of children and young adults with a self-centred attitude who have bean spoilt by overbearing parents who think the world revolves around then. Or it’s people saying that’s what they heard when really is self-centred parents