There is nothing in my children’s lives

[Howdydooo]

It’s all been taken away again.

I know it’s a pandemic. I know it’s temporary (but don’t know how temporary).

Screens are no substitute for friends.

They will not be fooled again by home structure and schooling. They have nowhere to go, no one to see and nowhere to go. And they know how long it went on for last time.

@happystone thats what I thought for childcare purposes only
I know someone who has one for childcAre but then thinks they can meet up whenever and go in each others houses anytime they want .

Donewithalltodayandxmas. We will never get our children back in school are people stupid, or just don’t care about anyone but there
Selves, I hope the bubble bursts

OP, your children have each other. There are many only children out there, who won't be able to have friends around.

However, there are very many children who enjoy their own company and don't need other people around. I was such a child, even though I had siblings close in age.

So, it's not doom and gloom for all children.

No one likes lockdown I hate it but there is one way out. We have just got to get a grip and get on with it.I look at that picture of that little child and feel ashamed of myself for being fed up. We are adults not children and need to get a grip

I'm sorry I think it's adults that are dramatic sometimes and your mindset will impact their mindset. Honestly your kids staying vlat home for a couple.more months is not all that bad. You are massively catastrophising. It's a bit shit but hopefully it will keep you all safe.

Oh I had so much planned for this past year - so much. And the year ahead looks bleak.
Hope though - there is no road that has no turning. We'll get to a turn in the road soon. Who knows when, but we will get there.

Make each day count.

Use your imagination. Pretend you and your children are on a sheep ranch in Australia -- miles from everyone. What would you do?
First, set a schedule. It's not an extended vacation. Get up at a regular time and go to bed at a regular time.
Do useful things:
Teach your children life skills. Have a daily cooking class.

Show them how to sort laundry, operate the washer/dryer and folding/hanging properly.
How to operate the vacuum/hoover. Give them the responsibility of cleaning daily.

If you have a dog, let them walk it or exercise it in the back yard. Or they can brush the cat daily or clean out the gerbil cage.
If this continues through until spring you can teach gardening and weeding.
As for education, combine history and reading. There are series books that do both. Depending on your child's age you might use,
The Magic Tree House series (has audio discs so they can read along with the audio)
The Percy Jackson series (Greek and Roman mythology)
Learn a language- watch Sesame Street or Peppa Pig in another language and try to figure out what is happening. For older children there are computer programs like Rosetta Stone. Do it with them so you are both equally fluent and can talk to each other.
This can be a useful and bonding time in your lives if you choose to let it be.
And yes, my son has been distance learning since March. He also has learned to cook a meal including dessert, change beds, wash clothes and mop properly. Soon we will explore the mysteries of the lawn mower.

Georgiagirl52. You sound 😊 great

Perhaps something to look into with your DCs if you can get them interested is the impact on children in Britain of the second world war:

• rationing
• disrupted schooling
• blackout
• air raid warnings

Someone in their mid 80s now would have been just starting primary school at the start of the war. Those children grew up into your grandparents.

I dont mean to do it in a 'see how much worse other people have had it' way but out of interest. Compare and contrast: privations, freedoms, restrictions.

Children experience things differently from adults. My memories of the 3 day week and its associated blackouts are of excitement, enjoying making toast over the gas fire. No doubt it was a nightmare for my parents.

we had a 4 month more extreme lockdown in Victoria (July to November).

I encouraged my kids to Facetime for hours- they watched films with friends so they could chat. Not great but teens definitely need peer interaction.
Now we are out of lockdown (who knows for how long) I am encouraging them to do as many things as they are allowed. Much more lax than I was because I realise what an awful time this has been for mental well being.

And each evening before bed we would lay on the bed and talk- about things which frustrate, things they miss, things which make them laugh. It helped.

Plus I made them have 1 hour of exercise a day (all that was allowed) out of the house.
And cook dinner 1/2 a week with me as the sous chef.

I should have added, we have been out of hard lockdown- still with quite a few restrictions- since week 2 on November Kids have bounced back amazingly well. I am surprised - it is almost as though they want to forget that and enjoy the here and now.

Kids are amazingly resilient. I thought teens would find it hard to get over this, but not so!

My children are now adults and I feel very sorry for all you parents with young children having to deal with this situation alongside working.

I really miss my grandchildren, I used to look after them a few days a week when they were preschool age so built up a great relationship with them and now only see them on the pavement outside my house.

As previous posters have said, the children seem to be managing the situation well, it’s the adults that are suffering. Children seem to accept change more easily somehow. It remains to be seen however how this will affect them long term. I do think human connections are very important and even during major crisis like the war years, which I’m sure were very traumatic, the human connections remained.

We are social animals, a whole year and possibly more of social isolation is bound to have a detrimental affect on us all.

I think we have to get creative, put structure in the day, timetabled activities, yes some school work but also making sure set times every day for exercise and talking to other people outside or online.

I hope you all find a way to use this time in a positive way and hope it doesn’t last much longer.

It is a very difficult time. I have a 15 year old DD and a 13 year old DS (ASD) - they are still pretty cheerful and what they have done:

DD - Painted her room twice and will put flooring down - any scope to re-do room?
Helping sort our old house for house sale which we pay her for.
Cooking - Leant to cook English breakfast for family and a few meals. DS bakes cakes and cookies.

Met up with 1 friend and they walk round fields - this is still allowed, counts as exercise as long as local. Do they have a friend could do this with?
Running - DD started running an hour a day and sometimes sees deer and squirrels and sends me pics. Her idea and keeps her fit and healthy.
Studying - she studies well independently - with both kids I went through careers and importance of doing well if you want to earn more money. DS is SN and needs me to do 1 to 1 with him all day and adjust work. We have lots of whining, throwing on floor, screaming, stomping but get there in the end and also chat to him about news articles.
Pets - Do you have any pets? We have a cat, an indoor rabbit that lives with DS and 2 silkie chickens and DS spends time feeding and caring for them. He worships the pets and says he doesn't need people as he has them - he's ASD but they also comfort DD at times.
Both spend a lot of time on ipad, Netflix, TV.
DD also got a sewing machine and both got art kits - is there anything like that they could do.
Also done house renovations like a new thatched roof and chimney.

Our village has a Facebook page and there are also organised activities on that at times like advent windows at Xmas. I think it said volunteering is still allowed, not sure if anything will be available but may worth looking.

Or a musical instrument can play at home? Some fitness equipment at home? DH has online piano lessons and DD has online singing ones.

DD is also researching universities, jobs, I research holidays - not viable now but its nice to plan for future when things are more normal.

Hope you can find something.

It's really not that bad. They need to look at some children who are actually suffering.

@Happyhappyday

Maybe it would be better to prepare them for the long haul rather than trying to put an end date on it? I'm in the US in a state with a very sensible governor and we never stopped locking down as it is based on ACTUALLY getting the virus under control, which never really happened in either country. Even our more relaxed lockdown was stricter than the current lock down in the UK - playgrounds were closed until September, schools have never reopened for anyone, lots of nurseries shut for 3-4 months. I know lots of kids and families have found it really tough... and we have a little one, but people have also just got on with things, played outside a lot, seen friends from a distance, gone for bike rides etc.

It's easy to focus on the negative but this is the situation we're in, we can't do anything about it but stay home, best keep calm and carry on (cannot believe I am an American saying that...).

Cali? Delaware here and schools and masks aside it seems pretty normal

Are your kids very angry OP? Teenagers can be very angry about basically anything it is a really difficult age. Sometimes they simply don't want to learn Italian for fun or become a French chef for the day, and will make this clear with withering contempt.
Sometimes they just enjoy a good mope and making you feel utterly miserable and frustrated. Try and filter out normal teen angst in this mix, maybe read some books about dealing with that.

Being cooped up with family is simply not normal for teens. Can you give them more freedom? An hour's bike ride, a jog, skateboarding, digging you a vegetable patch or vacuuming your car for pocket money, painting a fence, whatever.

If at all possible let them arrange to walk with a friend for an hour, if you can trust them to be sensible. Sometimes that trust is well rewarded, sometimes...not.

I'm fortunate my DD is only ten, but she loves online gaming while she chats with her friends. Sometimes they watch a film together online too. The company has helped a lot. Why can't your kids do something like this? Sure it isnt the same as F2F IRL, but it's not a terrible substitute when there's nothing much else.

All this upset and hardship has to be tolerated, as there is no other way to deal with a deadly virus. As long as children have a good home and plenty of doing things altogether and talking about things and trying to keep children as upbeat as possible, is all you can do until a brighter time comes along.

@BritinDelco Washington state. We had an early and in hindsight, pretty small spike. Our governor locked down strictly and early (my office closed March 2nd and we haven't been back) and set an evidenced based plan for reopening. Things here have never been that bad, but never down to the very high bar set for reopening... so we're all just sticking it out! I think we might've briefly had indoor dining reopened? Maybe? The farthest things got is childcare allowed, but most nurseries for even 2-3 year olds have all the kiddos wearing masks all the time, plus limited numbers etc. I honestly haven't heard people complaining about it... we Washingtonians are very law abiding... at least in Western WA! We do have some pretty fab mountains handy for playing in.

I run past 3 kiddos in an open garage sitting at desks 10 feet apart every day doing their zoom schooling together, it feels like people have just got on with doing the best they can. I think having a competent governor and extremely consistent leadership at the state level has helped a lot.

Its an awful situation for children. We (perhaps irresponsibly) took ours to the park today, as I thought there was a real risk those would be told to close again. It seemed everyone else had the same idea, as I swear in some places it was busier than it is in the peak of summer in 'normal' times. Mind, this is if you can still call it a park, given much of it seems to have turned into a swamp recently!

Playgrounds are about the only thing I ca think of for them to do. And the weathers not really the best for it either, but better than nothing.

@WhatwouldAnneFrankthinkofus while it is definitely useful to gain some perspective it is wrong and very harmful to suggest that @Howdydooo has no right to complain. Do you go around telling people who are happy that they shouldn't be happy because other people have it better? No of course not.

For the great majority of us there will always be someone better off and always someone worse off. But that does not mean we don't have a right to feel the full range of emotions when our circumstances change. We all have hopes and dreams, goals etc for ourselves and our children and are naturally going to be disappointed, upset and worried when we can't fulfill them. Telling people they have no right to complain doesn't stop them from feeling shit, it just adds a layer of guilt on top. Sure, get some perspective but allow yourself to feel the feelings, then pick yourself up and make some plans to work through it.

It is depressing. My foster son asked if the cricket season would be starting up in April. He lost half the season last year. I had to just say let's hope so. I know he wanted me to say yes, but I couldn't make myself.

There are lots of useful ideas but how to teach your child to cope if there are no siblings or extended family? I have 7 yo DD and me and DH are on full time employment - no chance to ask for furlough on childcare grounds - so my child has to entertain herself for 8 hours day... and I’ve seen all signs of grief in my 7 y.o.! Like some loved one died, but it was her childhood!!!

@Happyhappyday

Maybe it would be better to prepare them for the long haul rather than trying to put an end date on it? I'm in the US in a state with a very sensible governor and we never stopped locking down as it is based on ACTUALLY getting the virus under control, which never really happened in either country. Even our more relaxed lockdown was stricter than the current lock down in the UK - playgrounds were closed until September, schools have never reopened for anyone, lots of nurseries shut for 3-4 months. I know lots of kids and families have found it really tough... and we have a little one, but people have also just got on with things, played outside a lot, seen friends from a distance, gone for bike rides etc.

It's easy to focus on the negative but this is the situation we're in, we can't do anything about it but stay home, best keep calm and carry on (cannot believe I am an American saying that...).

Agree 100%.

I am in a state with a strict lockdown too, with numbers lower by a long shot than neighbouring states. It's a 'blue' state surrounded by red ones.

Schools have been shut since March apart from some private schools which opened in September, and even they have allowed anyone who wants to to do Zoom school.

My local school district gave laptops to all students and helped families get internet access if what they had wasn't sufficient. A schedule of classes using the block scheduling model was created for high school, with content delivered daily by teachers, homework and in-class contributions expected, collaborative groups and study groups formed online. For elementary students, school facilities (gyms) are being used for 'clubhouses' if students can't stay home with a parent. Students are supervised by park district employees and must sit at their desks for class, eat their (packed) lunches at their desks, wear a mask and hand sanitise all day (8-3). They can play supervised if weather permits. The gyms feature open windows for ventilation, and it is cold. The kids wear jackets, hats, hoodies, fingerless gloves. Students can also do school at home, with content delivered on Zoom and other apps.

Many programmes in the arts in both high school and elementary schools are going ahead virtually, including but not limited to music performance, choirs or all stripes, and poetry slam - all led by teachers; they reflect what is usually available in the performing arts extracurricular area. A virtual winter concert was streamed on YouTube to replace the usual in-person experience in the auditorium.

An online art club hosted on Instagram has thrived, also an online photography club, and a chess club using a chess app. There are also online yoga and pilates get-togethers. This is just to name a few activities. There is also an active running club, skateboarding, biking, and inline skating.

We all know we are lucky to live in a place where planning is taken seriously and done thoroughly by responsible administrators. The community itself is also committed to alleviating the worst effects of the necessary curtailment of normal life until this thing isn't a threat any more.

Could you get together with other parents to set up online or RL interactive activities for the kids and their peers?

Can you look online for opportunities for your DCs to make contact with other kids?

So our kids are a lot younger and appreciate teenagers may hate these things but OH and I split our days up so one of us was with them while the other worked. We would try and do 2-3 hours of school type activities a day and the rest of the time we:

Played board games
Built Lego
Planted various things in the garden
Baked/cooked together
Watched movies and made our own popcorn and tuck shop to turn it into a mini cinema
FaceTime with grandparents,
Zoom with school classes and some of their friends just to chat
Kids given specific tasks to do around the house every day and earned pocket money to save up and buy new things online