There is nothing in my children’s lives

[Howdydooo]

It’s all been taken away again.

I know it’s a pandemic. I know it’s temporary (but don’t know how temporary).

Screens are no substitute for friends.

They will not be fooled again by home structure and schooling. They have nowhere to go, no one to see and nowhere to go. And they know how long it went on for last time.

Maybe since your DCs are older they could read Anne Frank's diary to pass the time?

No I didn't. I don't actively want anyone to die... obviously.
And it's not a couple of months off school...it's much more.

But you do actually realise people die of things other than covid all the time? I don't go to pieces over that fact. It's sad but an utterly normal occurrence. Are we generally meant to fall apart at the thought of people we don't know dying?

@ConcernedAboutWarrington

Maybe since your DCs are older they could read Anne Frank's diary to pass the time?

I'm the granddaughter of a holocaust survivor. Yesterday I told my ds his football was cancelled...he looked utterly dejected and gutted. I told him not to worry and I knew he was disappointed but hopefully it will be back on soon. I didn't lecture him that at least he's not in a concentration camp.

@atswim2birds what a vile thing to say. Disgusting

Worse than the poster saying she doesn't care that your mother will die as long as her kids can go to school? Come off it.

But you do actually realise people die of things other than covid all the time?

Yes and if ITU beds are taken up by somebody who would die if you took them off the ventilator, then that means the young person who's just been brought in from a car crash won't get their life saved. Or what do you expect medical staff to do? Look at the beds and say "yeah, I know this 35yo will die if we take him off the machine, but look there's another 35yo come with with something different and we've already treated so many Covid patients, better take this one off"?

Medical staff are reporting that many of the people needing intensive care are in fact in their 20s, 30s and 40s. The fact that they tend to survive with care doesn't mean they didn't need that intensive care. It also doesn't mean they won't have lost months of their life. Some may end up permanently disabled.

My SIL is starting her cancer treatment next week: I'm terrified about her hospital being overwhelmed.

My dd has not been able to get treatment she needs because the person she needs to see has been off with Covid. Not prioritising Covid, not giving undue attention to Covid, just off sick with it. Dd has been in pain and struggled to walk for months, but yeah, that doesn't count because she isn't "the rest of them" that have a right to get on with their lives. Her mental health doesn't matter as much as physically perfect people's, does it?

formerbabe, if you don't go to pieces over other people's children, why do you expect people to care about your children?

[quote atswim2birds]**@atswim2birds what a vile thing to say. Disgusting

Worse than the poster saying she doesn't care that your mother will die as long as her kids can go to school? Come off it. [/quote]
Hmm not actually what I said was it.

But no I wouldn't be willing for my DC to give up school indefinitely to save the lives of people I don't know.

Just as I wouldn't be willing to give up driving forever because people die on the roads.

Actually I initially supported school closures...and I still do...I just believe it has gone on for far too long

@atswim2birds that is simply not what the op said.

@formerbabe

In terms of the comparisons with ww2...just think..

In ww2, we sent the young to die to protect our freedoms

During covid, we are giving up our freedoms so mostly elderly people don't die.

This

I have often thought that in both WW1 and WW2 as a country we asked a certain group (mainly men aged between 18 and 35) to put their lives and health (I.e being injured) at risk for the benefit of the country as a whole. They selflessly were willing to do this and the country was very grateful to them for doing this.

Now as a country were are unwilling to ask a certain group (mainly men aged over 80) to put their lives and health at risk for the benefit of the country as a whole.

You can judge whether the approach of today is right or wrong but the equivalent approach in WW2 would have been that we are unwilling to sacrifice young men's lives simply because the wider country doesn't want to be controlled by a foreign power.

formerbabe, if you don't go to pieces over other people's children, why do you expect people to care about your children?

I very much care about children, not just mine. Sadly some children have died from covid but a very small number. Sadly, I've heard that more under 20s have taken their own life than died of covid. This generation is basically now a ticking time bomb of mental health problems.

@formerbabe

Anyway my own parents died years ago..my dc don't have grandparents useless mil doesn't count Quite honestly I don't care enough about other children's grandparents enough to see my own dc stuck at home unable to go to school, steadily feeling more and more isolated.

wish there was a vomiting emoji. You'd deserve it

I totally echo Lindtballsrock, think as bad as all this is we need to learn and teach our children the good that we have, we have food, warmth, gardens, clean water, nature all around us, TV/ online amusement, we are really very lucky. I realise it doesnt feel like it. They will take from you, so stay positive, Nice walk can be their daily exercise, set up bird watching in the garden (think theres an online group where they pass on what theyve seen)/arrange hunts with clues in the garden/ get them cooking ( little kids love making rice krispie cakes)/ crafts/ sport on tv / plus some school work. Arrange something special for weekends, family visit in your bubble, filmnight make it like a cinema, pop corn in bowls ect. Children have ALWAYS said "im Bored" i remember saying it and we had nothing but trees to climb dens to build. Use your imagination ask other mums on different groups for ideas.

Formerbabe

That's not what I meant.

It's all about perspective.

Yes we are tired as parents. But it's our job to make the day go round. Even without pandemics and wars, there was life before this and not everyone has always been able to communicate with whoever they want, whenever they want. People used to have 'passtimes' because that's what they were doing - passing the time. As a society, so many of us have 'forgotten' how to just sit and read a book, or listen to the radio, or go for a walk. We've forgotten as parents that it's OK to ask our (older) DCs to do some ironing, or clean the bathroom, or run the hoover around. There's absolutely no need to be bored in life, and in fact, there are so many people who would love a bit of downtime. It's all about your mindset and helping your DCs realise that they make their own weather in life too.

@atswim2birds They won’t be back in a matter of weeks. As the vaccine doesn’t seem to provide herd immunity its roll out won’t make any impact on those of working or school age until they can have it. All that said we need to sit tight for a while longer and it is very hard but at the moment the NHS is overwhelmed and that scares me for children in terms of accidents, asthma attacks etc, I already know a mum whose little girl was misdiagnosed over a video consultation and died of sepsis.

@concernedaboutwarrington

Boredom is not the actual issue. There's always something to do. My concern is the isolation and loneliness.

Last lockdown, I remember the horror of realising my children hadn't spoken to another person in the flesh apart from each other, dh and me, for over eight weeks.

If you keep telling your child that least they're not in a concentration camp and to smile more then they will learn to feel guilty about expressing how sad they are about what's happening and they will internalise. Then when they are adults with unhealthy coping mechanisms, then what do we do?

There is a balance. Every family is different, every family has different ways of coping. Not all children have loving parents to get them through this. Many , many children have other things going on and covid only adds to it all.
Blaming each other and saying read Anne Frank doesn't help one bit.

that is simply not what the op said

IT is precisely what she said. More than once

So when people say that its better their dc go through this than lose a grandparent, it seems like nonsense to me. Children losing grandparents is a pretty normal, although sad, occurrence
Quite honestly I don't care enough about other children's grandparents enough to see my own dc stuck at home unable to go to school, steadily feeling more and more isolated

She would rather my children's grandmother died than her kids have a bit of time off school. She said so.

(not the OP that is, but formerbabe)

Last lockdown, I remember the horror of realising my children hadn't spoken to another person in the flesh apart from each other, dh and me, for over eight weeks

That's horror? But another child losing their grandmother, who dies alone with no family in a over run hospital, that simply doesn't hit your radar?

Wow.

It's not just your DC's grandmother and my dcs education. It's all of our dc. I don't take pleasure at the thought of anyone dying, but no I don't think elderly people dying is an especially tragic or unusual occurrence.

Why was it ok in ww2 for young men to die to protect our freedoms but now death is so awful that we should give up our freedom to avoid it?

@Formerbabe your children having at least 3 people to talk to in person (plus more on the phone/zoom) is not a normal definition of isolated

@atswim2birds

Last lockdown, I remember the horror of realising my children hadn't spoken to another person in the flesh apart from each other, dh and me, for over eight weeks

That's horror? But another child losing their grandmother, who dies alone with no family in a over run hospital, that simply doesn't hit your radar?

Wow.

Children lose their grandparents all the time and have always done so. Its not unusual. Most people feel sad and then feel better and remember them fondly. The loss of grandparents doesn't usually cause serious mental health problems for people

Solitary confinement is like torture though

I think what most people are saying is yes, it’s tough but you’re not helping your dc with that attitude.
We are right here in this situation and we need to deal with it as well as we can for our dcs sake as well as our own.
Some people generally have a positive or proactive attitude to life.
Others are negative and reactive, which can be overwhelming especially in difficult situations without prior experience.

Recognise if you need extra support, ideas or coping methods and try to get through it the best you can.

Formerbabe people like you should permanently quarantined.

@DrNOmeansNO

Formerbabe people like you should permanently quarantined.

Thanks...such a brilliantly articulate response really detailing your thoughts and opinions.

Well done you!

Just discovered 94% of the beds in our local hospital have COVID patients in them. We need to get this back under control and although home education is tough it is better than our kids being turned away from hospital as there is no capacity.
This is not normal Winter Pressure.