There is nothing in my children’s lives

[Howdydooo]

It’s all been taken away again.

I know it’s a pandemic. I know it’s temporary (but don’t know how temporary).

Screens are no substitute for friends.

They will not be fooled again by home structure and schooling. They have nowhere to go, no one to see and nowhere to go. And they know how long it went on for last time.

Relationships with your own nuclear family are not the same as learning to get along with peers and authority figures who aren’t mum and dad.

The confidence gained from going out in the world and making connections with hither to strangers is critical. Learning to trust humanity and yourself to navigate it is one of the important developments of adolescence.

@mathanxiety

My mum grew up during WW2 and all the adults said exactly that to her and her seven siblings and their five cousins from Liverpool who spent the war all together in a tiny Irish cottage with no electricity and lots of work for everyone who wanted to eat.

That's not a whole population

@busymomtoone agree 100%

As 1-2-1 outdoor walks etc are allowed, surely your kids are old enough to do this with a friend? No need to make things harder than necessary by banning this activity.

Rules state You can only meet one person from another household in some outdoor public places
include:
• parks, beaches, countryside accessible to the public, forests
• public gardens (whether or not you pay to enter them)
• allotments
• the grounds of a heritage site
• outdoor sports courts and facilities
• playgrounds

We are sacrificing the young for the sake of the elderly and vulnerable

Im not a monster and i don't want people to die but a pp said but 1000 died yesterday so we have to do this. Quite frankly people die all the time of all sorts of things. I was genuinely sadder to hear the mum on here describe how her autistic child cannot put on their theatre production.

I think lots of people do not like to be compared with the past because it gives them just To Much to live up to........as I know from experience for years after the war things were Very Hard but we did All pull together and Supported each other and we did not hide away from Reality

@DAVYBOY46

I think lots of people do not like to be compared with the past because it gives them just To Much to live up to........as I know from experience for years after the war things were Very Hard but we did All pull together and Supported each other and we did not hide away from Reality

Rubbish

This narrative people slip into is so bizarre.

I agree with Empress on all points re development and Would

In terms of the comparisons with ww2...just think..

In ww2, we sent the young to die to protect our freedoms

During covid, we are giving up our freedoms so mostly elderly people don't die.

It’s likely to be an easy way to reframe lower personal risk at expense of the young. Much easier to swallow that the war makes it ok.

There is still debate about whether lock down is the thing to do. The problem is that it hasn't happened before so no one 'knows best' it's all speculation, the debate will go on. But I think things will be different in the future.
I was a child in the 50s. No nearby playmates (lived in the country), brothers who did not want to play with me, no tv, no car - looking back it was probably quite a lonely, and was certainly a quiet life.
But fortunately no social media to make me worry that I am missing out.

I have teens starting their Gcses so I get it. One had just moved to a new school so was unfortunately not able to form strong friendships before lockdown and feels very isolated and sad. But I can’t help but think that all the medical staff putting their lives at risk everyday to care for other people’s loved ones feel more desperate than our teens. Or the people who have lost their loved ones and are now living with grief. Or the people who have lost their livelihood and are desperate.
I also can’t help looking at how my children are studying complicated maths equations or science theories and wonder how much of this they will really use as adults - so from my perspective I don’t really see it as a huge deal if my kids learn a little less during lockdowns.
And unfortunately my children lost their grandfather to Covid. So although they are not happy with the current scenario they know the pandemic is bigger then their own little worlds.

@Empressofthemundane

Relationships with your own nuclear family are not the same as learning to get along with peers and authority figures who aren’t mum and dad.

The confidence gained from going out in the world and making connections with hither to strangers is critical. Learning to trust humanity and yourself to navigate it is one of the important developments of adolescence.

I think I share a lot of your perspective on this Empress.

For adolescents and young adults, the balance seems to be between supporting them to be in as physically and mentally healthy state as possible on a day-by-day basis, while acknowledging that the pandemic and necessary restrictions are, and will continue to have, significant and long-term effects on many.

There aren't easy or quick solutions to this at all. It's a process of discovery for everyone involved, children, young people, their parents and other adults around them, and catastrophising or minimising the effects on them are a profound disservice, it seems to me.

I also can’t help looking at how my children are studying complicated maths equations or science theories and wonder how much of this they will really use as adults - so from my perspective I don’t really see it as a huge deal if my kids learn a little less during lockdowns

Depressing attitude (in a sea of other depressing attitudes)

@Schehezarade

There is still debate about whether lock down is the thing to do. The problem is that it hasn't happened before so no one 'knows best' it's all speculation, the debate will go on. But I think things will be different in the future. I was a child in the 50s. No nearby playmates (lived in the country), brothers who did not want to play with me, no tv, no car - looking back it was probably quite a lonely, and was certainly a quiet life. But fortunately no social media to make me worry that I am missing out.

You must have had school? I could deal better with reduction if school wasn’t removed too.

@Delatron

Well believe it or not in a rich country, even in Non-Covid times many children suffer mental health issues let alone now. I’m sure they’ll feel better though if we tell them it’s worse in Iraq though.

This. And if a parent is struggling with their own mental health and have to then put that aside to help a child with additional needs with their mental health, all the people that say chin up can fuck off basically.

I know how lucky we are to have all that we have. I'm grateful every day for what I have. I know it's not not forever and yes I don't dramatise this to my children.

@DAVYBOY46

I think lots of people do not like to be compared with the past because it gives them just To Much to live up to........as I know from experience for years after the war things were Very Hard but we did All pull together and Supported each other and we did not hide away from Reality

Er yeah I think PTSD was pretty much ignored(as wasn't really acknowledged like it is today) and soldiers had to get on with it.

@MarshaBradyo Yes, I did have school, I was thinking of holidays and weekends. Didn't start til fully 5 though.

@Howdydooo if it makes you feel any better,

I had a relative who spent 4 years of their young life laying flat on their back due to an illness. They went on to travel the world and have a wonderful life.

This is a short blip. It won’t affect them forever.

I'm sorry for those who have lost family members to covid but losing relatives and people dying isn't unique to covid. So when people say that its better their dc go through this than lose a grandparent, it seems like nonsense to me. Children losing grandparents is a pretty normal, although sad, occurrence.

So when people say that its better their dc go through this than lose a grandparent, it seems like nonsense to me. Children losing grandparents is a pretty normal, although sad, occurrence

But if you can prevent it, you do. And we can, so we are.

The willingness to just let your parents die so that you children can play with their friends is frankly sociopathic.

What “he” is doing to the kids??
Not sure if you noticed but there’s a bloody pandemic going on, I’m pretty sure these decisions aren’t taken lightly whether you agree with them or not

@atswim2birds

So when people say that its better their dc go through this than lose a grandparent, it seems like nonsense to me. Children losing grandparents is a pretty normal, although sad, occurrence

But if you can prevent it, you do. And we can, so we are.

The willingness to just let your parents die so that you children can play with their friends is frankly sociopathic.

No it's not. What's sociopathic is locking children away. Death is inevitable. It cannot be avoided forever. People dying at an old age is sad for individuals but it's also incredibly normal.

People are obviously experiencing the pandemic very differently from one another, and I certainly see why its difficult for people in certain situations - obviously anyone living with someone abusive, but also people living alone without a "bubble" and homeworking, parents with childcare issues, and only children especially where parent/s is/are working long hours, but where there's more than one child in the household they have peers even if they don't always get on...

I don't think the exaggerated prophesies of doom regarding children's mental health help children at all. For a lot of kids the worst they actually have to deal with is being a bit bored. I have 3 children - two teens and a pre teen - and yes it's been hard at times, but the bleak, extreme posts about children's mental health are more a reflection of worries inside adult heads than reality.

Buy or borrow a copy of Anne Frank’s Diary for your kids. Then have a chat about it.