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Original poster

So I've had to lie to the school

503 replies

WankPuffins · 03/01/2021 18:06

My dad is 86 and isn't coping.

He's in our support bubble but lives two hours away (which I know some people don't agree with and I've been jumped on on her about it before, but I am his only family so what can we do).

Dh has had to go and get him just now. He called us saying he can't take this anymore, he's worried about my baby in all this with her having two older siblings at school/college, he can't sleep and he can't eat. He's scared to leave his house and he's got no food in. He said he was considering taking all his sleeping pills but he couldn't when he thought of my children.

We then FaceTimed him so we could actually see him after he called and he's visibly lost weight. It's clear he's not been eating. We can't leave him alone. I honestly think he'll end his life if we do. So he's coming here.

Dd is supposed to go back to school tomorrow. I've just posted on another thread that they sent a heavy handed email basically pre emting people making excuses.

I don't want her going to school while my dad is here. We've not left the house apart from one click and collect since Dh took him home on Boxing Day. So we are as safe as can be.

Our area is now in T4 and cases are rising.

I've emailed to say a family member in our support bubble showed symptoms today after seeing us on Friday.

They have emailed back asking for proof of the relatives positive or negative test so they can say when Dd returns to school.

Obviously there is no test. But we couldn't be honest and risk a fine.

Flame away at me lying. But I feel like I'm inbetween a rock and a hard place with Dd and my dad.

And now I feel like I'll be under scrutiny from the school.

OP posts:
mrshoho · 04/01/2021 19:22

oh no I'm so sorry and your poor Dad. This is heartbreaking to read but you know you did the very best you could as soon as he reached out to you. FlowersWine

DoubleTweenQueen · 04/01/2021 19:23

@WankPuffins My heart goes out to you and your family. Your father will get the best care - I hope he starts to get stronger very soon.

starrynight19 · 04/01/2021 19:35

Oh so sorry to hear that. Hopefully some care in hospital and he can come home soon.
This shows why you did exactly the right thing Flowers

Original poster
WankPuffins · 04/01/2021 19:37

Yeah but now I'm thinking that some shitty karma will get me for lying and he'll catch covid in there and not come out.

OP posts:
howmanyroads · 04/01/2021 19:40

You did absolutely the right thing going to get him, and the lie to the school is understandable. I hope he gets his strength back and can come home to you ASAP Flowers

Panickingpavlova · 04/01/2021 19:40

Op don't even begin to think like that, the bad karma comes on those that made you feel you couldn't help him.

Original poster
WankPuffins · 04/01/2021 19:41

He's very dehydrated and he had treatment for bowel cancer 18 months ago. He told me he's been having symptoms again which is another reason he was afraid to eat or drink. So they will do tests but he had to stay in. And will there be people who will come at me for bringing him here and him ending up in my local hospital instead of his? I'm past caring to be honest. I don't know what we could have done.

OP posts:
TJ17 · 04/01/2021 19:44

@WankPuffins I'm so sorry this has happened 😩

It wouldn't be Karma because Karma is when you do something wrong - what you did wasn't wrong at all! I'd defend what you did to the end of the earth and apart from the one evil lonely fucktard on this thread we would all have done the same.

Hope he gets better very soon bless him 😩 poor man!

I think as long as there's nothing else going on he will be discharged ASAP as they don't want patients hanging around these days. If they know he's got you to come home to and watch him they will discharge him as soon as they know he's well.

Sending all the good wishes and wine 🍷Thanks

InTheLongGrass · 04/01/2021 19:46

WankPuffin this afternoon just goes to show how much of the right thing you did. Imagine if he'd been at home alone and collapsed. It doesnt bear thinking about.
He's in the right place now. Dont forget to look after yourself.

tomnjerrylover · 04/01/2021 19:49

@StatisticalSense

You have potentially destroyed the education of hundreds of other children so that you can transport in a relative from hundreds of miles away?
It's allowed. Her dad is alone an able to form a bubble with another household. They would be classed as his carers. Back the hell off
YoniAndGuy · 04/01/2021 19:51

Oh @WankPuffins - I'm so sorry.

You did the right thing.

I'm keeping fingers crossed that he will be fine once hydrated. They'll want him out of the way asap, I am sure he'll be back with you soon.

You poor thing. DO NOT beat yourself up. You did what ANYONE would do for an elderly infirm relative.

Just think. If you hadn't brought him home when you did, he'd now be passed out on the floor at home, and would have died. Simple as that.

RandomUser18282 · 04/01/2021 19:57

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

CoolShoeshine · 04/01/2021 19:59

@WankPuffins - you and your dh sound like great people, caring for your children and your dad. You totally did the right thing for your dad, sod what you said to the school, it was only a little fib, they must hear worse all the time and will undoubtedly have forgotten by the time the schools reopen.
Best wishes for your dad’s recovery to full strength Flowers

mineallmine · 04/01/2021 20:08

@WankPuffins

And piss of the one who said how long as he got left anyway. Do you know that's played on my mind since I read it. God knows how you were brought up but you should be ashamed of yourself.
You've done nothing wrong, OP, part from.the panic lie at the start. I'm.in Ireland (and a teacher) and our system is very different - if you were here, your dd's school would be supportive if what you're doing. And that poster's comment about your dad's age was cold and absolutely horrible. My dad is 92 and I like to think there's plenty time left for him.
persistentwoman · 04/01/2021 20:10

So very sorry OP - and thank heavens you went and collected him or he would have been alone when it happened.
I know you said that some unkind remarks have preyed on your mind - please try to ignore them. Not only is the stress of the current situation resulting in some people behaving with uncharacteristic harshness but also Mumsnet exposes you to a small number of people who frankly, we'd all cross the road to avoid their unpleasantness.
Well done for being a caring daughter - I wish you and especially your father well.

SunshineCake · 04/01/2021 20:15

Please look after yourself @WankPuffins. You did the right thing. You aren't a dick. You are a loving daughter and I really hope your dad gets back to you very soon.

Raspberry681 · 04/01/2021 20:19

You've done the right thing OP, nothing to feel guilty about. Don't worry about the school, if they're all shutting they won't chase up the test. Deep breath and hunker down with your family. Try to watch something familiar or funny or tv tonight.

Satlie2019 · 04/01/2021 20:31

Poor you and poor your dad. The fact that he was so unwell shows that you and your husband absolutely made the right decision to look after him. The right decision for your children too, I am sure they would hate to think of their grandfather unwell on his own. I hope he recovers quickly xxx

Whatwouldscullydo · 04/01/2021 20:34

Oh bless him. So glad you went and got him!

Look after yourself too op I hope you can get him all sorted.

Flowers
BadTattoosAndSmellLikeBooze · 04/01/2021 20:57

Thank goodness he came to you. I really hope he’s ok OP. Look after yourself too, you definitely need that wine tonight.

Margaritatime · 04/01/2021 21:22

I am sorry your Dad is in hospital but so glad your DH managed to bring him to you. You absolutely did the right thing.

Malibu295 · 04/01/2021 21:33

I read your post yesterday evening and have just seen your update today.
I just want to say I am thinking of you and your dad and sending well wishes. Also, what you did was 100% the right decision, he is close to his Family and that is the most important thing at a time like this, he shouldn't be alone.
As for the school issue, I would have done the same thing in your position, you have done nothing wrong and have done right by your family.
I hope you get good news soon Thanksx

llovetheshippingforecast · 04/01/2021 22:31

Completely agree with the pp.
The fault lies with a system of fines making parents choose between family members health or having to lie - during a pandemic . !

School fines are dished out by the local authority. They should have been suspended at this time. It's just added another level of unnecessary stress. Parents should have been left to make that decision for themselves.

saraclara · 04/01/2021 23:00

@WankPuffins

Yeah but now I'm thinking that some shitty karma will get me for lying and he'll catch covid in there and not come out.
No no no no no no no!

a) there is no such thing as karma and b) your lie was TINY, and was told because you were under huge stress and worry.

Please don't allow yourself to think that way. You need to forgive yourself for this thing that most people would have done without a qualm, and certainly not beaten themselves up about it.

Wheresmykimchi · 04/01/2021 23:02

@WankPuffins please don't think like that . It's not a big deal .Flowers

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