So I've had to lie to the school

[WankPuffins]

My dad is 86 and isn't coping.

He's in our support bubble but lives two hours away (which I know some people don't agree with and I've been jumped on on her about it before, but I am his only family so what can we do).

Dh has had to go and get him just now. He called us saying he can't take this anymore, he's worried about my baby in all this with her having two older siblings at school/college, he can't sleep and he can't eat. He's scared to leave his house and he's got no food in. He said he was considering taking all his sleeping pills but he couldn't when he thought of my children.

We then FaceTimed him so we could actually see him after he called and he's visibly lost weight. It's clear he's not been eating. We can't leave him alone. I honestly think he'll end his life if we do. So he's coming here.

Dd is supposed to go back to school tomorrow. I've just posted on another thread that they sent a heavy handed email basically pre emting people making excuses.

I don't want her going to school while my dad is here. We've not left the house apart from one click and collect since Dh took him home on Boxing Day. So we are as safe as can be.

Our area is now in T4 and cases are rising.

I've emailed to say a family member in our support bubble showed symptoms today after seeing us on Friday.

They have emailed back asking for proof of the relatives positive or negative test so they can say when Dd returns to school.

Obviously there is no test. But we couldn't be honest and risk a fine.

Flame away at me lying. But I feel like I'm inbetween a rock and a hard place with Dd and my dad.

And now I feel like I'll be under scrutiny from the school.

[quote Satlie2019]@Wheresmykimchi then I agree with you. I have a great deal of sympathy with the original poster, but people should not be lying and making work for schools (or anyone else) with contact tracing. The OP should not have lied (although luckily her lie will not have created additional contact tracing work).

However, people (and schools) should not be being put in this dreadful position.[/quote]
OP wil be fine as her story was a secondary contact over Christmas. No work required.

I agree

I would do what you feel is right, I would also do the same. I didn't know that about proof of tests, my child's school state in all their letters that they will need to see evidence of covid tests!

You shouldn't have been put in this position OP, that's the real problem. That you've been cornered like this and then you've had to come up with something...its not your fault that the government haven't allowed parents to have the choice to take their children out of school. I really fee for you. Tell them it's confidential and you are not willing to share personal documents like that. And tell them you feel cornered and that it's very sad to be questioned like this in an already difficult situation. You don't need to reveal you have lied, I wouldn't...I would act very offended and annoyed and I think they will back off

@Kimchi sorry I think I might have misread the OPs post then

To be clear i wasn't saying OP should homeschool, I was just trying to understand why with the current situation it's not reasonable for schools to have the usual protocols around home schooling temporarily at least.

OP I'm so sorry about your DF. You have absolutely done the right thing. He's lucky to have you all

[quote AlwaysLatte]@Kimchi sorry I think I might have misread the OPs post then[/quote]
I think many of us did.

I'd just tell the truth. You are just trying to do what os best for your dad. Dont fret about it. Hugs xxx

You aren't doing wrong at all though lying might be considered unwise it's perfectly understandable. Others medical information can't be shared and they shouldn't ask. It's not up to them how people keep their families safe. Seems odd that they should send out a mail about no excuses given the circumstances. I am sure schools will close soon and you won't be the only one keeping children off.

I hope your father is more comfortable with you. It's a horrid position for him and you but what you have done is right.

You have done the right thing.

On a practical note, as your DF is 86 he will be fairly high up the list for the vaccination. Have you made sure if he is given an appointment the notification will be diverted to your home.

@Whywhywhy48

I'd just tell the truth. You are just trying to do what os best for your dad. Dont fret about it. Hugs xxx

This advice is correct @WankPuffins. It is that simple. Wish that is how I had responded initally. You are just taking care of your family xxx

@Margaritatime

You have done the right thing.

On a practical note, as your DF is 86 he will be fairly high up the list for the vaccination. Have you made sure if he is given an appointment the notification will be diverted to your home.

He doesn't have a landline, just a mobile so that shouldn't be an issue.

But I will sort all his medical things out in the morning.

Too many response to read through.
Its better not to lie to cover a lie, you only dig yourself deeper.

Just be honest about the situation, it'l be better in the long even if they do fine you. At least you'l have peace of mind about it and wont feel scrutinised. Lots of people will be in similar situations.

@Anywherebuthere

Too many response to read through. Its better not to lie to cover a lie, you only dig yourself deeper.

Just be honest about the situation, it'l be better in the long even if they do fine you. At least you'l have peace of mind about it and wont feel scrutinised. Lots of people will be in similar situations.

What could oP be fined for?

You've done nothing wrong. I would have done the same.

There's some really selfish people about at the moment who think anyone on the vulnerable list is about to keel over at any moment so they're not worth saving. Ignore any of those people completely, their opinions aren't worth anything, they'll be old and vulnerable one day too and I hope they look back and cringe at themselves.

Do what you need to do to keep your family safe and don't feel bad about it.

Hi OP. I just wanted to say you sound lovely and not stupid or reckless or whatever others have said. My own dad is a similar age and my mum is also not around. He lives alone. So far he is coping well but if he stopped eating or said similar things to me that your dad did to you then of course I would do what I can to help him.

My own children are at secondary so won’t be going in anyway but those posters who have implied that you’re denying your daughter her education / social life etc don’t seem to realise that thousands of other children are also going to be at home for the next two weeks or more and hopefully the vast majority will not be majorly affected by this long term.

I actually don’t know what the posters who think you’re wrong would have done in your position. Left your dad all alone not eating, taken the risk of him taking his sleeping pills? It’s not like you going up to stay with your dad would have been a better option as you’d then be away from your children and imagine their outcry at that. You’re doing your very best in an incredibly hard situation.

Many people are breaking the rules selfishly, spreading the virus and risking lives.

You have 'broke the rules' to save a life. I admire you

Ah sorry @sortmylifeoutplease i didn't mean what you've wrote! Quoted the wrong post.

I agree with you!

@WankPuffins you are not a twat. You made an error of judgment when put on the spot, but that error of judgment worked out, so it's all good.

You've done the right thing and I'm really sorry you've had to read some replies. They are utterly disgusting.

I hope you manage to get a plan together for you Dad.

@TJ17

Ah sorry *@sortmylifeoutplease* i didn't mean what you've wrote! Quoted the wrong post.

I agree with you!

Phew!

He collapsed this afternoon. He's in hospital.

He hadn't eaten for 5 days. He had some food in. but was too worried to eat.

They got back here at 2am (Dh had to had a nap on my dads sofa when he got there as we've had a hard time with the baby and he was up the night before).

My dad was then up all night with me. At 8am, I managed to talk him into having a shower. He then slept. I woke him at 1pm to eat and drink - this was when he told me when he had last eaten and he passed out on the way to the bathroom.

I'm a fucking HCP and I went to pieces.

He's in our local hospital.

Dh has taken the little kids upstairs and my 18 year old is pouring me wine and letting me cry.

The only food he had was frozen fish and he couldn't face cooking it.

Wank puffins that's heart breaking your poor df.

At least he is now close by poor thing