Do you judge people for 'minor' rule breaks?

[Light233]

So ten months into a pandemic- whether you agree with the harshness of the rules or not- I think most people would agree that the average person is likely to struggle with lockdown fatigue and wavering compliance.

So my question is, do you judge people for minor rule breaks? ie:

• someone seeing their partner who lives in another household, indoors (whether this be for mental health, or the fact most adult romantic relationships require physical contact)
• parents visiting uni students in halls
• grown adults visiting elderly parents who are lonely and isolated

If you think about it, if you live in some places up North, it's been illegal to see your partner who you don't live with for six months, providing you're not in a support bubble. And I know you can see people outdoors, but that's not conducive to a normal relationship. Or, in the case of the elderly, not healthy or comfortable.

So would you judge people for the above rule breaks, if it was genuinely they only tine they mixed with another household? And there is no support bubble?

This thread is mostly pointless, however I am simply wondering if anyone else is finding it hard now!

The above scenarios are all ones I know people in real life have done and I do not judge them. Apart from that, they wear masks, limit contact and mostly WFH.

@newlabelwriter

I have a few friends doing the same, and I feel the same. I will have a read of the link.

It’s strange as one in particular would probably be in a higher risk group, and is pretty scared of covid, but doesn’t seem to be able to stay in. She’s been out for meals with her dc and other households into tier 2 areas (we are 3) etc.

It does get annoying when we are playing by the rules and they are not. Especially as I have told my dcs they can’t have friends over, even in the garden, but they hear that friends have been shopping, for meals and in the car together.

@horehound I agree , it was a risk
Spending all day with someone xmas day and upto people to make that choice for themselves
I think they stopped the overnight to stop people travelling, hard to travel too far in a day
Most people have probably broke one of rules/ guidelines at one point even unintentionally ( getting too close to someone in a supermarket etc) and I agree at moment I can meet my mum outside at a park or beach , so If i drop some shopping off I don't see problem with them standing on doorstep and me standing probably 4 m away a bigger risk , in fact its less as the parks and beaches are busy and you can't keep even 1 m away

Do people also realise that people catch covid even following all the rules , wearing a mask in supermarkets wtc only reduces the risk
Many people have jobs were keeping sd is impossible , everyone is associating that only people breaking the rules are catching/ spreading covid , all the rules /guidelines help limit the spread not stop it totally

I think people can grasp that, yes.

@donewithitalltodayandxmas

Do people also realise that people catch covid even following all the rules , wearing a mask in supermarkets wtc only reduces the risk Many people have jobs were keeping sd is impossible , everyone is associating that only people breaking the rules are catching/ spreading covid , all the rules /guidelines help limit the spread not stop it totally

Exactly right and ventilation plays a big part of this as well.

Masks (unless medical grade) also don't stop you catching it they reduce the wearer spreading large droplets

@Light233

For all the rule breakers to mull over.

Yes damn right I judge. Dp has lost 2 of his family. Not elderly I might add.

I also judge people claiming things are for their mental health when they are comfortably off and have a large close family support system. Selfish twats.

@Justa47 Why don’t you stop going on about rule breaking. I would be willing to bet the majority of people who have caught it were behaving correctly.

@Willyoujustbequiet The last suicide I attended was from a close family. Financially well off too but those things weren’t enough to overcome the stresses they were going through so they ended their life.

Not a “selfish twat” at all. Just a person who could no longer cope with what life was throwing at them.

I’m astounded someone would admit to being so ignorant about mental health issues, frankly.

@Willyoujustbequiet

Yes damn right I judge. Dp has lost 2 of his family. Not elderly I might add.

I also judge people claiming things are for their mental health when they are comfortably off and have a large close family support system. Selfish twats.

Were they breaking the rules when they caught it?

That is what this line of thought eventually implies.

Bad people catch it because they broke the rules

Good people catch it....well how?

[quote Nicknacky]@Willyoujustbequiet The last suicide I attended was from a close family. Financially well off too but those things weren’t enough to overcome the stresses they were going through so they ended their life.

Not a “selfish twat” at all. Just a person who could no longer cope with what life was throwing at them.

I’m astounded someone would admit to being so ignorant about mental health issues, frankly.[/quote]
The lack of empathy is astounding. Just because people are well off or have a close family it doesn't mean they don't have mental health issues. That poor family have to live with this.

I'm sorry you had to attend that @Nickynacky

@PinkSparklyPussyCat If only it was as simple as having money or close family. No one would ever have mental health issues again!

Thank you, we are going to more and more suicides these days. And drug deaths in my area were up 30% in 2019 from 2018, and I fear it is far higher this year based on how many we are attending. It’s scary.

No, I wouldn't judge minor breaks such as you have described.
However I do feel frustrated by people doing lots of shopping trips or driving long distances (20 miles) or going on foreign winter sun holidays (I know two families doing this in the travel corridor countries right now) when everyone else is trudging along. It does feel unfair that I cannot meet a couple of friends in my local park or even shock horror in their garden, when someone else has gone to airport sat in a plane sat in a hotel and is then returning home refreshed. Is it envy or does it make a difference to virus levels if they go, travel 20 miles,maybe not?

I do also agree with NickyNacky that people catch Covid randomly anyway within the small window of risk that even a lockdown will allow. Hospitals, supermarkets, deliveries, manufacturing, essential care..you cannot stop some covid transmission. It doesn't have to be "someone"'s fault.

[quote Nicknacky]@PinkSparklyPussyCat If only it was as simple as having money or close family. No one would ever have mental health issues again!

Thank you, we are going to more and more suicides these days. And drug deaths in my area were up 30% in 2019 from 2018, and I fear it is far higher this year based on how many we are attending. It’s scary.[/quote]
I know. I'm lucky, I have a secure job and no mortgage but before Christmas I was nearly at breaking point. I've never considered myself as having problems with my mental health so I dread to think how people who do suffer are coping.

I'll be honest, while I'd thought about suicides I hadn't thought about drug deaths. While I know something has to be done to limit the spread of Covid it can't be at the expense of others.

But even winter sun, you don't know backstory. That person might have stayed indoors all year or have serious trauma or been v ill, maybe that holiday is a lifeline.

Which is why you cannot judge others but only take responsibility for your own actions.

@PinkSparklyPussyCat To be fair, I don’t know if this years increase in drug deaths can be linked to covid or if it is just on a natural increase anyway. People cleverer than me would need to look into any link. I was just highlighting the increase of deaths before their time that I’m going to.

Most of our drug deaths are from street Valium these days.

I wondered if it pushed people over the edge - just thinking aloud really. I didn't realise street Valium was a thing. I just associate it with what my Mum took when I was little. I really feel for people who will slip through the cracks even more than usual now, whether it's mental health, drugs or another addiction.

Rules breakers are causing this

@Nicknacky

The scientific facts just do not back up what you say. Cumulatively breaking the rules increases the risks and encourages other to do which causes transmission.

That just a fact for this sort of virus.

Jeez I never said it does hurt people who are following rules. But breaking them makes it worse otherwise you either

A. Don’t believe in science
B. Are starting to feel guilty
C. Just don’t understand it all

Dear god.

@Justa47 Can you provide proof of that?

No I don't judge other people and am not taking that much notice of what anyone else is doing.

In fact to my mind one of the most displeasing aspects of the pandemic is how its brought all the Nazis out of the closet enjoying judging and criticising others. I shall be glad when it's over and we can all live and let live again.

Nicknacky

Im not ignorant about mental health at all. I'm a rape survivor, with disabled dc and who has lost all my immediate family. Therefore I simply have no patience for those who falsely claim mental health issues that have coincidentally arisen when they needed justification to break the rules to suit themselves. Cry me a river but you dont need a family party/mobile nail technician/childrens birthday party but have never sought any help medically. Its pathetic and makes a mockery of those in need of genuine help.

@Nicknacky

Regarding a. Yes read all the sage reports and work it out

Re others of course not but your cheap shot answer would imply I hit a nerve.

@Justa47

Rules breakers are causing this

Rule breaking is certainly not helping - but the very weak and chaotic government response is more to.bkame.

The virus is doing what the virus will do - spread and mutate.

The government have acted with colossal arrogance (how unlucky we have been to have this PM at this crucial time) and have tried to plough on past the reality.

The government have failed us all.