Do you judge people for 'minor' rule breaks?

[Light233]

So ten months into a pandemic- whether you agree with the harshness of the rules or not- I think most people would agree that the average person is likely to struggle with lockdown fatigue and wavering compliance.

So my question is, do you judge people for minor rule breaks? ie:

• someone seeing their partner who lives in another household, indoors (whether this be for mental health, or the fact most adult romantic relationships require physical contact)
• parents visiting uni students in halls
• grown adults visiting elderly parents who are lonely and isolated

If you think about it, if you live in some places up North, it's been illegal to see your partner who you don't live with for six months, providing you're not in a support bubble. And I know you can see people outdoors, but that's not conducive to a normal relationship. Or, in the case of the elderly, not healthy or comfortable.

So would you judge people for the above rule breaks, if it was genuinely they only tine they mixed with another household? And there is no support bubble?

This thread is mostly pointless, however I am simply wondering if anyone else is finding it hard now!

The above scenarios are all ones I know people in real life have done and I do not judge them. Apart from that, they wear masks, limit contact and mostly WFH.

Not for things like that. Yesterday we went for a walk with friends in a massive outdoor space, with all DC there were 7 of us and I'm not sure that's terrible.

I have a friend who 'knows her own mind' and 'has done her own risk assessment' and 'won't be told what to do.' She has visitors in her home constantly, goes to see her DParents in their home at least weekly etc etc. That I do judge, and has actually changed my view of her.

I definitely don't judge minor rule breaks, adults can make their own risk assessments and sometimes needs must. I do judge people who decide to ignore rules completely and post it on Facebook!

Yeah I do. It just really pisses me off that the vast majority of people are sacrificing a lot for the benefit of almost everyone, then the odd person thinks it won't matter if they carry on as they like. If everyone did that, we'd be in a much worse place, so why do they think they're so important not to follow the rules.

Examples this week (we're tier 2)-

Friends meeting other friends for a trip to the cinema (we're not allowed to meet indoors)

Friends meeting other friends for a Christmas walk (3 x families of 4) - the maximum gathering size is 6 outdoors.

Friend's child (age 9) having classmate over for sleepover (not allowed to meet indoors).

Next door neighbourhood had at least 3 different people in for a Christmas cuppa / catch-up in the last week.

Mother in law was pissed off with us because we wouldn't go in to have a drink and see the tree with the kids when we met up with them for a socially distanced gift exchange in the garden (not Christmas Day so not allowed in)

Just to be clear, the friends were one other household! 😇

grown adults visiting elderly parents who are lonely and isolated

Many in this group will be covered by support bubble and caring exemptions.

Depends. I judge heavily people who break rules around me atm because none of them have any excuses. Play dates indoors in tier 3/4. International travel from Tier 4 (leisure). Pre arranged meetings in big groups outside (3 families with numerous children together). It’s all me me me me me. And they complain about possible school closures and how the pandemic affects their business. I’m disgusted by this attitude and how easy they would be prepared to break the law because they know they will get away with it.

Mother in law was pissed off with us because we wouldn't go in to have a drink and see the tree with the kids when we met up with them for a socially distanced gift exchange in the garden (not Christmas Day so not allowed in)

That’s almost the opposite and I do judge people for that - not respecting the reasons why other people are following the rules.

As another person seas, the rules are very clear and breaking them is selfish.

There is an exception for care needs which may ,cover the elderly parent ones, uni students can come home in holidays or live at home whilst they study and dates can be seen outdoors in all tiers.

Some breaches concern me greatly, as the more people think acceptable (rather than exceptional) the more there will be, and the greater the damage to lives and livelihoods (and in turn, more lives)

It's a slippery slope.

And even when it is hard to, condemn an individual for a single humane act, the effect of many is disastrous for the community (thus prolonging the hardship for the person they were seeking to help in the first place)

So yes, I think it is wrong to play fast and loose with the rules. Because it hurts us all

No, if they are being careful and have good reasons. There's a vast difference between being a selfish sod and making careful judgements which don't fit the capricious, ever-changing gov guidelines in order to do necessary good for loved ones.

I sneaked into DS2's uni for a cup of tea with him because no one else in his flat share moved in due to Covid and at the point I sneaked in, he had spoken to no other live person for almost two weeks and was starting to show signs of extreme depression (not sleeping or eating) and very disordered thinking. We had an afternoon of drinking tea, chatting, giggling and I encouraged him to eat a small amount. I have zero guilt about this and put no one at risk, but I did help lift him out of the steep decline towards clinical depression. I'd do it again.

@Tarararara

I dont judge when people break rules that have no impact on the virus, e.g. seeing family in the garden, rather than in a public park, or (if living in remote area) going for a walk when self isolating as a contact. But I do judge if rules are broken that increase the risk of virus transmission.

Exactly this.

I wouldn't judge unless they were plastering their rule breaking all over social media or being hypocritical by judging others while breaking the rules themself

I'm guessing most of us have probably broken a rule at some point in the past 9m even if we have been compliant 99% of time

Where I live (W Yorkshire) we have been subject to strict rules for months and months now and it is bloody tedious!

We break the rules - we have a childcare support bubble but sometimes have the family of the child in our home too. I don't judge others breaking the rules unless it's the house party/"positive test but just need a few things from Tesco" type of scenario.

No judgement for minor rule breaks which imo have usually been thought through . I am judgy however over groups socialising indoors in particular .

it is just a crazy situation.
for those who wfh, or dont work, stuck at home, no zoom, or via zoom.
the loneliness is dire

Non co-habiting partners should be able to meet imho, as in Scotland. It's unimaginable that people in committed relationships have been expected to go months with no indoor contact.

And I say that as a single person.

I don't judge minor rule breaks at all, my friend and her toddler come in for a coffee and biscuit once or twice a week pre school run, friend has a dp so we can't officially bubble but she needs a bit of support and our dcs are in the same class at school all day.

I've also picked dm up a couple of times and taken her shopping, the alternative would be public transport and taxis, my car and me are safer for her.

But I do judge people who have parties etc. And I particularly judge the families of the client my friend cares for. Friend is a home carer, goes 4 times a day so technically no need for care visits but they could have a bubble. Friend says all through lockdown half of them still have regular and multiple visitors every week which puts not only their relatives but also my friend and then the other clients on that run at risk.

Yes I do! There has been many threads on this site where people of all ages/personal circumstances struggling with prospect of long lockdown in coming months.
I’m 60 live in a village several of my neighbours are 20 years older than me and are deemed vulnerable having health issues. We planned for our son who lives in London to come to us for Xmas day provided he had a test. He did which was negative but when the rules changed before Xmas we all agreed it was a risk for him to come on train etc. My neighbours then tell me their ‘popping over’ to see their kids n gkids which was all day Xmas day then other daughter in Boxing Day all with kids. They try to convince themselves and me they are all in a support bubble which clearly they don’t understand what a bubble bubble is! Kids still going out to work, gkids all in different school etc. I’m incensed by their selfish behaviour and risks they take. Is it anything to do with me? Yes it bloody is as they catch virus spread to others we’ll all be is lockdown longer virus spreading. Either we all stick to rules or we don’t look at the rising numbers. People going to sales yday, really?!! A bargain pair of shoes really worth risk to life?!!
Apologies rant over!!

Not at all

@EssentialHummus

We break the rules - we have a childcare support bubble but sometimes have the family of the child in our home too. I don't judge others breaking the rules unless it's the house party/"positive test but just need a few things from Tesco" type of scenario.

Yes we've done this too. My parents look after my children 3 or 4 times a week and I do go in for a cup of tea when I pick them up sometimes. I'm 99% certain that if one of us caught it, we would all end up with it through the kids anyway. My husband and I can be exposed through work and are regularly tested because of that. I understand we have to have rules but I do think some of them are overkill. We're in Wales so haven't really been out of lockdown for more than about 6 weeks in the summer.

I don't judge other people though, I couldn't care less what others are up to to be honest.

surely the uni students have mainly had the virus in september/october, they must be desperate to get back to their friends

I’d fully support people seeing partners
Same here -utterly ridiculous otherwise

I judge those who follow the rules to the letter without applying any common sense to their individual situation.

@Light233

I am amazing by the people saying don’t judge. Clearly not aware of the cumulative effects as so many people saying no risk and well the risk is this;

1. The NHS is effectively at the same levels as April. This risks all people with accidents and other illness getting ICU care. Not trust the beds it’s the staff needed.
2. People by accident spread this. So more meets more spreads.
3. The system in our country means you vote every 5 years then the government make up the rules. And they have the legal power the change the rules under existing law.
4. This effects the old more but can randomly effect others. So it anage related pot luck

So I hope non one in your family has a road accident or catches Covid. But think on.

Do doubt I will get a load of NM abuse now as being holier than thou. Not thou it’s the law is holier than thou.

Sorry for typos