Do you judge people for 'minor' rule breaks?

[Light233]

So ten months into a pandemic- whether you agree with the harshness of the rules or not- I think most people would agree that the average person is likely to struggle with lockdown fatigue and wavering compliance.

So my question is, do you judge people for minor rule breaks? ie:

• someone seeing their partner who lives in another household, indoors (whether this be for mental health, or the fact most adult romantic relationships require physical contact)
• parents visiting uni students in halls
• grown adults visiting elderly parents who are lonely and isolated

If you think about it, if you live in some places up North, it's been illegal to see your partner who you don't live with for six months, providing you're not in a support bubble. And I know you can see people outdoors, but that's not conducive to a normal relationship. Or, in the case of the elderly, not healthy or comfortable.

So would you judge people for the above rule breaks, if it was genuinely they only tine they mixed with another household? And there is no support bubble?

This thread is mostly pointless, however I am simply wondering if anyone else is finding it hard now!

The above scenarios are all ones I know people in real life have done and I do not judge them. Apart from that, they wear masks, limit contact and mostly WFH.

No; I'm not the Covid police. Short of endless close contact with multiple households, let people just get on with it. Mostly they are doing their best, seems to me.

Where I DO judge is when the rules are applied arbitrarily. I got chucked out of the pharmacy for being the third person in there. I hadn't seen one of them hiding behind the Tampax shelf. Fine - I waited outside until someone came out, then went in. While I was in there, three others came in (so now we were five) but none of the other three was sent packing.

Or when we went as a couple to a restaurant we frequent and got grief for wanting a glass of wine while deciding what to order (they know we never go there just for a drink and we've supported them for years) and yet they had a group of twelve men with not a mask between them all having a jolly raucous meal. Same household, my arse.

[quote Justa47]@Waxonwaxoff0

That’s exactly the point.
The rules are designed to limit spread so Covid does not overwhelm the NHS so other illnesses abs accidents and conditions can be treated

I hope nothing befalls your family.[/quote]
If Waxon needs to work and has no other option what do you suggest she does? Should she become homeless rather than break the rules? Try putting yourself in someone else's shoes.

@Justa47 So how do you propose @Waxonwaxoff0 works AND abides by the “rules”? You are quick enough to comment on people who in your opinion are breaking them, so what would your solution be?

Please .

Seeing elderly isolated parents is NOT rule breaking .

It's a vulnerable care visit and has ALWAYS been allowed .

Obviously if people are doing this they need to try and minimise other contacts.

@Light233

I guess today’s figures ( excluding Scotland and NI) of over 40,000 cases means nothing to the rule breakers.

Here comes a tier 5.

@Skipsurvey

dm has friends in their 80s who have been oblivious throughout this pandemic, having friends round etc., dm wont go in their house, however they are still with us and seem to be surviving on ignorance and bliss.

I think at that age they are weighing up risks and making their choice. If you have a limited amount of time left then there needs to be some point to the life you have .

@Justa47 3 of my family members have had Covid. It doesn't change the fact that I need to work and if school closes again I will need to ask family (the ones who are happy to) provide childcare to enable me to work. Should I just let my child starve instead?

@Light233

This thread has been interesting. I'm glad most people don't judge for small infractions but I'm sorry to those who have lost family members.

Would people judge me for seeing my partner on NYE's? Haven't seen him indoors since July... It's been illegal.

I work from home, do online shopping and don't see anyone but my own household. I'm not eligible for a support bubble. Apart from three weeks in July, it's been illegal for me to see him indoors since March. It's really hit me today and I don't see our relationship can go on like this.

The only time I've broken the rules yet was to see a friend who attempted suicide last month, but I think even that is legal as I was preventing someone from harm.

No judgement from me unless you are sharing your home with someone who is really vulnerable. Even then I wouldn't judge, just think you are in a difficult situation doing the best you can .

And you were right to see your friend .

And

[quote Light233]@MummaBear4321

I don't see anyone else, really. I live in a houseshare with another couple who spend all day in their room, I may as well live alone but sadly don't so I can't legally form a support bubble.

We're moving in together as soon as my contract is up. [/quote]

Have you had a chat with the couple that you house share with ? I'm guessing you are all fairly young ? If they are relaxed about situation then I would continue seeing partner if I was you .

Absolutely not.
I judge those who stick dogmatically to the rules at the expense of someone else's mental health, especially if there is no logical "danger" (e.g. two single people working from home meeting up indoors, where would they have even got covid from??)

I also judge those who report anyone for a minor infraction, or complain about it on facebook.

@Horehound
Yes, exactly @MummaBear4321. Well it's good to know at least one other person out there has a soupçon of intelligence. Phew.

While I couldn’t care less what your friends are doing, risk of infection increases with time spent together, so there is more risk in staying over and spending two days together than there is in just going for Christmas lunch.

Obviously anyone with a soupçon of intelligence would know that, so your patting yourself on the back at your own cleverness is somewhat misplaced.

@MrsFezziwig doubt it. Shows me how much bigger the risk is in stats or data compiled.
There will be an increase of risk but the biggest risk would be between mins 0-15 than 12 hours to 24 hours. (I.e. not having it to getting it rather than getting it and getting it even worse. There's no way to know how you'd have reacted anyway between either example because you can't go back and test it the second way if you've got it from the first obviously)

And the whole "you might get it worse" argument is a bit thin really isn't it? Surely the worst thing is to get it in the first place. Which we all will anyway.

I judge my neighbours, yes. They’ve had at least 20 different visitors to their house alone this week. What makes me mad is myself and partner are vulnerable and following the rules which is our choice. However, my child and next doors child hang out together at school. It’s just selfish as far as I’m concerned as they’re putting people at risk.

I have no problem with the occasional/small scale rule breaking, such as someone visiting their relative or partner living away, where there are very few people involved, hence very low risk.

What I do have a problem with are the large unnecessary gatherings, i.e. families meeting up when they really don't need to (i.e. not to lonely grandparents etc).

One of our neighbours lost is wife this Summer so now lives alone. His daughter brought their two grandchildren for the weekend. I have no problem with that.

Another neighbour, who already has a partner, two children, a lodger and her children's boy/girl friends living with her had a right house full. Her sister (and husband and two children) came for the weekend, plus her best friend came for a day, plus her partner's family (car full) came too. She must have had 12-15 people in the house, none of whom are elderly/lonely, I WILL judge her and her family!

I judge my sil to high heaven for going ahead with a three day Christmas get together with my in laws as 'everyone's breaking the rules'. No, they're not. We're in Scotland, my parents are in England and I haven't seen them since August despite having a baby. I cannot understand people who think they're the exception.

@LitPeach

Frankly I am judging anyone who is going outside in the middle of a global pandemic unless they are a key worker.

Not only are they putting the health and lives of their families at risk but also that if everyone around them and everyone they may meet.

Too many people are prioritising going for walks in the park or buying gin from Asda over staying home and saving lives.

This will only be dealt with by a proper lockdown enforced by the army.

I am really hoping this post is meant to be ironic !!!

@ths1

I visit my parents in their home on occasions. They're both in their 80s and often it's to help with things like my dad's computer not being able to print or dropping things off. It helps them to be able to do things online and by post rather than going into the bank etc. I also rarely go out other than a weekly food shop to try to minimise the risk of infecting them. They've now been vaccinated too. But it's still breaking the rules.

It's really not. (breaking the rules that is)

@Gwlondon you can have tests without symptoms in a lot of areas . We can book them through a link on the local authority website . It actually says something like use this facility or lose it .

Sick of being judged by people who think they know the rules but don't. As a foster parent I have had one of a large sibling group living with me, the other siblings are also in care and living with other foster carers around the county. We get a fair few sighs and tuts we get when we get the siblings together but we are not about to explain to random strangers why such a large group is meeting up.

@Horehound
There will be an increase of risk but the biggest risk would be between mins 0-15 than 12 hours to 24 hours. (I.e. not having it to getting it rather than getting it and getting it even worse.

So I said there would be an increased risk, which you’ve just repeated but you don’t agree with me? . So you think that if you don’t get it in the first 15 minutes of contact then you won’t get it at all?

And I didn’t say anything about getting it worse, presume you’re confusing me with someone else.

Everyone is struggling just now. It impacts on MH when we see others doing "their own risk assessment" which seems to consist of the risk to their own family and rarely seems to consider the consequences to rest of the community.

If people want to break the rules then they should at the very least own it. I'm tired of people protesting they were being so careful whilst openly breaking rules. The mess we are in is exhausting for everyone, but this doesn't help. The latest actions of one such person has resulted in our school having to close 2 classes, which might seem fairly insignificant (it is compared to what others are going through) but schools being open is all that is keeping us going just now. Actions have consequences.

@mumwalk

Everyone is struggling just now. It impacts on MH when we see others doing "their own risk assessment" which seems to consist of the risk to their own family and rarely seems to consider the consequences to rest of the community.

If people want to break the rules then they should at the very least own it. I'm tired of people protesting they were being so careful whilst openly breaking rules. The mess we are in is exhausting for everyone, but this doesn't help. The latest actions of one such person has resulted in our school having to close 2 classes, which might seem fairly insignificant (it is compared to what others are going through) but schools being open is all that is keeping us going just now. Actions have consequences.

I completely agree with you.

A very good friend of mine is breaking the rules all over the place, dinner parties, sleepovers and friends over on NYE. I have to say that it did bother me but I had to admit to myself I was probably quite jealous that her life is seemingly going on as normal whereas as I'm still going along with the rules my life is still v much at a standstill. I think in these situations people are going to act differently. Whether or not you accept them is quite another thing.

Reading this helped too - www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2020/dec/15/angry-about-friends-breaking-the-covid-rules-take-a-deep-breath

@mumwalk

Everyone is struggling just now. It impacts on MH when we see others doing "their own risk assessment" which seems to consist of the risk to their own family and rarely seems to consider the consequences to rest of the community.

If people want to break the rules then they should at the very least own it. I'm tired of people protesting they were being so careful whilst openly breaking rules. The mess we are in is exhausting for everyone, but this doesn't help. The latest actions of one such person has resulted in our school having to close 2 classes, which might seem fairly insignificant (it is compared to what others are going through) but schools being open is all that is keeping us going just now. Actions have consequences.

Also this.