A thread for people choosing not to see family at Christmas!

[WensleydalePlease]

Disclaimer: I am not including those who have relatives who are sadly terminally ill, or where people live alone or are vulnerable, or mentally unwell.

I am going to spend Christmas in my home with my DH and DC. My elderly parents and ILs will spend Christmas in their own homes. My siblings will do the same. We will not be seeing each other in person. Because none of us want to spread the virus and we can all wait until the middle of next year to have a big get together.

Is anyone else doing this?

Reading Mumsnet this morning I feel like we are the only ones not willing to risk it! I'm sure the governments advice should be "only meet if you absolutely need to", but this 3 household thing looks like it's turning into a free for all with people doing what the hell they like.

I don't want to be responsible for 3rd wave!

Signing in. I have spent months trying to keep everyone safe, I am not messing it up now.

Yup unless we see people outdoors or in gardens we won’t be mixing

@Figgygal

Yup unless we see people outdoors or in gardens we won’t be mixing

Yes, I might have a shout at my parents from the end of their drive as I drop their presents off.

Us too.

Thinking that we can isolate after school breaks up and have a get together in the New Year though. Which wouldn't be in the rules, but, would go a long way to making things bearable.

We are staying alone as well. The two DCs at university are staying there too and not coming home. It is madness in a pandemic to allow all this mixing of households with school age children and vulnerable grandparents especially all during the same week! There will be a rise in cases and lives lost because of this.

Me.

I live alone. I don't see why alone makes any difference, to be honest. I'm just as likely to pass on an illness to more vulnerable family on my own as I would be if I had a husband. It's only one year and it's only Christmas. I'll just suck it up and watch netflix under my duvet.

Living alone doesn't mean Covid avoids you.

Obviously if I or a family member were knowingly terminally ill, I'd take the risk. Saying goodbye to someone is worth it. Having another, random Christmas that can be done any time is not worth it.

Yes we are doing this too. Even though DM and one DSis live very nearby. We haven’t been in each other’s houses since March and we’re not about to start now. Mostly because I have DC at school. We’re all okay with that, too - sad, but okay; it seems the right thing to do. Noticed that Nicola Sturgeon was much more explicit about this in her guidance - she said that just because you “could” do this for Christmas, you should consider not doing so, unless it was really necessary. Or something to that effect. Which I believe.

WenselydalePlease We will be doing exactly the same. My husband and I are both key workers and we have three children who are all at school but in separate bubbles. I would love nothing more than to see everyone at Christmas and spend time with them but if any of us passed anything on to my parents or in-laws then I would feel awful. We haven't seen them for a while now. We miss them like mad but we just want to keep them safe.

Yes really looking forward to just the three of us, it'll be our first Christmas alone for 16 years. We've been so careful as dh is ecv and dont see the point of risking him or elderly parents and in-laws ending up on a ventilator in January for the sake of a Turkey lunch.
We will however be celebrating when we've all been jabbed hopefully in the spring.

We're doing the same. Even if we could make a 3 household bubble work we wouldn't - it's not worth the risk. As much as I love Christmas, this is one Christmas out of many many more so one year of sacrifice is fine by me. I'm quite excited for a quiet Christmas to be honest, it'll be my first one in my entire life where I don't visit at least 3 other houses. I've never had a full Christmas Day in my own house and I can't wait!

We are asking my parents and my ILs if they want to do a quick doorstop chat to give DS his presents but that it.

We are staying just us 4. We are both secondary teachers, DDs are in secondary/college and we are in the NW, so a perfect storm as far as we are concerned. There will be doorstop drops at parents/in-laws and our siblings but nothing more than a quick chat outdoors. Not worth the risk at all.

You're not the only ones. We've said since the summer we'd have Xmas on our own. We might take it in turns to meet up with some of DH's family for a walk (within whatever restrictions we can within the tiers) but not even the rule of six. We chosen to do this as we want to keep those we love as safe as possible and not spread it.

My friend desperately wanted to spend xmas with three other families but in recent days has come to the conclusion she can't risk spreading it to any of them as cases have gone up in our area despite lockdown.

We are lucky in that we've got this far and have eachother (I know a couple who don't due to covid), have our jobs (albeit I'm hanging onto one by a shoestring), we'll have presents, food, can enjoy xmas carols being played in the background, can play games, go for a walk and watch tv together. Also, the phone/laptop to catch up with those we love.

We are staying home. My dad is in treatment for cancer atm so we don't want to risk him catching anything. Also can't see anyway to work it with siblings and then dh family. Easier to just say no to everyone this year.

Staying in my bubble with DD and DH. We've been sticking to the rules (for our safety not because we blindly follow the government). Not going to risk it now.

I'm really looking forward to it and not having the stress of travel, going to video call family on the day.

This is all very much in line with the government’s mixed messaging all the way through the pandemic
“Meet up at Christmas, but don’t meet up at Christmas”

Us too!! It’s not as though it’s going to spread less just because it’s Christmas! I’d rather not have the worry!!!

For me it’s in line with taking personal responsibility for keeping people safe.

Same here. We’re staying home and will be enjoying a small Christmas. It’s just not worth the risk of elderly parents/PILs getting ill.

We are (assuming everyone is well) seeing an elderly relative (90s) who lives alone as they have barely left the house since March and I can't bear that they would otherwise be alone. (if any of us have any symptoms, or are isolating then obviously they might have to be)

Most of DH family ignored many of the rules in the first lockdown and I'm sure will want to see everyone at christmas. We have agreed that its not worth the risk and as a vaccine seems close we are happy to wait until spring to see them. However MIL is the boss the matriarch of the family and I'm sure DH will waver about our decision (which is largely to protect them as they are in their 80s) if she says shes happy for us all to pile in and have our normal family christmas . If he sticks to it he will probably blame "Fizbos anxiety" rather than frame it as a family decision.
To add PIL though elderly have been out and about and seen various other family members regularly, so we feel we need to prioritise the other relative who has been on their own for most of the year.

Yes, we’re doing the same. No big deal for us or family members, everyone is happy in their households. It would have been a lot harder a couple of years ago when very elderly relatives living alone were still alive, I don’t know what we would have decided in those circumstances.

What this is essentially, is a green light for those people who had every intention of breaking the rules anyway.

It'll be just the two of us at home this Christmas. To be fair, we've had no one in the house since February... shielding, so no family or friends.
It'll be fine. We will have a yummy lunch, maybe a walk if the weather is nice. I just hope "Carols from Kings" is on the telly, even if it's a repeat!

To all those staying home alone. Thank you from a CEV/CV household.

Just us 4
We usually have xmas dinner just us but visit family before and/or after
However as we can’t choose between my family and his, plus they won’t be sticking to the rules anyway we have decided to do a doorstep present drop off and that’s it. There are vulnerable people in all groups and I think it’s unwise to assume Covid is having xmas off

Why can't the government give out a simple message like this? I assume it's because it's discriminatory but then so is Covid.

Meet up with up to two other households if you are all young, fit and healthy. But if you, a family member or someone you are in close contact with is elderly or CV don't be a dipstick unless you can all isolate for 14 days before hand.

I won't be joining my Grandkids this Christmas

We are staying put, I'm a teacher and don't want to put vulnerable parents or in-laws at risk. It will just be the 2 of us. I'm actually quite looking forward to a restful Christmas where we don't drive around the country (imagine how bad the roads will be on the 23rd). Lots of nice food, board games, video games, winter walks and Christmas films/TV. We will obviously ring/zoom family at some point to catch up and I'll be making use of royal mail to send presents.