A thread for people choosing not to see family at Christmas!

[WensleydalePlease]

Disclaimer: I am not including those who have relatives who are sadly terminally ill, or where people live alone or are vulnerable, or mentally unwell.

I am going to spend Christmas in my home with my DH and DC. My elderly parents and ILs will spend Christmas in their own homes. My siblings will do the same. We will not be seeing each other in person. Because none of us want to spread the virus and we can all wait until the middle of next year to have a big get together.

Is anyone else doing this?

Reading Mumsnet this morning I feel like we are the only ones not willing to risk it! I'm sure the governments advice should be "only meet if you absolutely need to", but this 3 household thing looks like it's turning into a free for all with people doing what the hell they like.

I don't want to be responsible for 3rd wave!

Can I join? I've been managing DC's expectations since Sep when the Rule of Six came in (we're a household of 6), so we were braced for Christmas just us. Family are too far away to travel, roads will be utter chaos and my parents are in their 80s so I don't want to put them at risk. Just very pleased we managed to see them in August (we stayed nearby) as that was the only time we saw them since last Christmas.

We're reasonably philosophical about it and looking forward to our Christmas. Hopefully it will be the beginning of the end in March/April and we can get to see them.

mrsKnottsChicken I feel like covid has really put oceans in between me and my friends when I see what they value and I can’t get my head around how selfish it seems...I’m really not jealous. I could go as they invited me but it seems such a dickish thing to do. They never socially distance and take lots of photos cheek to cheek. Anyway sorry for derailing, feeling very isolated right now*

Yes this exactly. I suspect that when we come out of this, we may well have a completely different set of friends (or none at all!) Our neighbours have all have friends and family to stay, even during lockdown. It is hugely isolating though and we are sure they think we are being over-careful (at best) or total drama llamas (at worst)

Thanks mrsknottschicken and FuzzyPuffling for your replies. It is very comforting to know there are others on the same wavelength.

I'll join. We're packing my elderly dad off to my sister's. She is working from home and has preschool age children so in a better position than us to isolate. I will see dad for new year - strictly speaking he is in our bubble as he lives alone. I'm a teacher so won't have him in the house without masks and sitting at a distance, only then for short amounts of time.

MIL is recently bereaved and in a bubble with SIL. I've said we might go for a walk with her and do a doorstep drop but we won't be seeing her indoors as I will only have been off school a week before Christmas Day. If she can isolate, we will see her later in the holidays (on the grounds that she is vulnerable). If she insists on seeing all her friends then we'll stick to outside.

The one that breaks my heart is a very elderly, childless aunt who has insisted she will spend Christmas Day alone as she wants to see another summer. We'll probably try to drop round at some point for a door step drop.

My kids are very upset as we've always had big Christmases with their cousins and grandparents but needs must.

Is anyone else having trouble 'managing' their families and explaining why you feel the need to be so careful?

Not only is my mother dead against it but we also have my in-laws assuming we will be seeing all of them. None of them have even mentioned the other sides to the family as if it hasn't occurred to them we might have a conflict in choosing the 3 households. Let alone the risks.

Everyone I’ve spoken to in real life is being careful and not throwing caution to the wind for Christmas. I must admit I am feeling more scared as I think it would be Sod’s law to get a mighty bout of covid just before vaccine roll out or at the very point that hospitals are overwhelmed. I’m not normally one of the batty barricaders (in spite of being ecv) but I am a bit superstitious and know it’ll be just my luck.

I'll be at home with DH. The usual family gathering is people from 4 households including us most years. I opted out early before I knew about the 3 household rule. I don't feel like taking the risk anyway as I assume any antibody effect is worn off by now. Originally my elderly father wasn't going to do it either but he's changed his mind. I think he'd rather accept the risk than feel lonely. We'll just have a relaxed day at home.

We are doing the same op. All staying in our own homes - zoom calls at various points during the festive season. All good. Less risk.

I got my first "what shall we do at Christmas?" text last night...the only surprise was who it was from! Not somebody that we've ever spent Christmas with before or had even factored might want to be in a bubble with us. People are weird.

If anyone is still reading I would be glad of some company on Christmas Day... DP still wants to go to PIL on Christmas Day as usual with the DC. Unfortunately MIL is a real people pleaser and won't uninvite anyone else who usually comes over for Christmas! If it was just immediate family I'd be ok with it but she's invited at least six other people/ three households and I'm not comfortable with being in an enclosed space with that many people for several hours, I'd rather stay at home and miss the celebrations although at least I wouldn't have to see FIL, which is always a bonus