A thread for people choosing not to see family at Christmas!

[WensleydalePlease]

Disclaimer: I am not including those who have relatives who are sadly terminally ill, or where people live alone or are vulnerable, or mentally unwell.

I am going to spend Christmas in my home with my DH and DC. My elderly parents and ILs will spend Christmas in their own homes. My siblings will do the same. We will not be seeing each other in person. Because none of us want to spread the virus and we can all wait until the middle of next year to have a big get together.

Is anyone else doing this?

Reading Mumsnet this morning I feel like we are the only ones not willing to risk it! I'm sure the governments advice should be "only meet if you absolutely need to", but this 3 household thing looks like it's turning into a free for all with people doing what the hell they like.

I don't want to be responsible for 3rd wave!

Glad to see this thread. I've already had a text row with my folks as they want us staying over as per normal and not our suggested compromise of meeting in a garden/park. There's peer pressure in the family and they think it's safe, but we're in a high risk area and it seems unwise

I'm being 'sensible' too.

Us too, just my 2 young adult sons (one of whom lives with us and the other we are already a childcare bubble) and their partners allowed in our house.

My parents are very happy with that (in fact they had decided not to come even if we had invited them) but I know the in-laws will be very unhappy, and they are the most vulnerable of the lot. Throughout they have played fast & loose with the rules and their own health, it's a mystery why they haven't already caught it. Haven't told them yet, DH wants to tell them in person that we don't want to see them in person, and can't see the irony of that....

If numbers in our area come down over the next few weeks we may pop over to see them individually for a short visit over Christmas, but that's way different to all of us cramming around the dining table for hours.

Dh and I will be staying at home on our own this year as I have been shielding since March. It will be the first time I have not spent time over Christmas with my adult children. But it's not worth taking a risk. Hopefully we can have a family " Christmas ". At Easter time !
Christmas day will still be here, we will still have our dinner, and then veg out and watch tele. We have FaceTime and maybe family will do a quiz on zoom. It's the only sensible thing to do in my view. The consequences could be far too disastrous to so many.

Am actually really looking forward to Christmas without the in-laws TBH...

We're not. I'm a keyworker so not worth the risk. Might have a conversation with grandparents at the front door 2 metres away when I drop presents off. I can't see the point of taking any risks for the sake of one day tbh.

Am actually really looking forward to Christmas without the in-laws TBH...

And this 😂

I'm won't be seeing family. My parents and sister are all vulnerable and have only really left their homes for shopping and walks since march. They will bubble with each other. DH is working xmas day too, so it will be just me and my 6yo. Bit sad about it all but I think it's for the best.

Me and DH are having our first Christmas just the 2 of us in our 40 years of marriage.

We normally spend Christmas with my family but that is 16 from 8 households.

I feel a bit sad about it but would rather be safe than sorry. I don't get how we have all spent since March social distancing and then suddenly for 5 days we don't have to!

I don't want the virus and nor do I want DH or any of my family to get it especially my elderly parents.

I think lots of people are being pretty stupid and very selfish saying they are going to ignore the rules. Too late in the new year when the NHS can't cope to realise they were in the wrong

Same here. For 3 reasons

1. I hate the forced family time of xmas anyway so this suits me nicely

2. I am frontline nhs so have no wish to force my myriad 2nd hand covid contacts onto my vulnerable parents. I will be working over pretty much all the xmas "bubble" anyway

3. I will be continuing to break the same rules I have been breaking all along. I regularly see my adult children who live elsewhere.

So, literally no change for me

Yes same here. We live in a high risk area, both work in high risk jobs and have two kids at secondary school. I could not live with myself if I passed Covid on to my vulnerable relatives (we had a scare a few weeks ago when we saw one set for the first time in months, in accordance with the guidelines, and then my son was found to have been in close contact with a positive case - that was really scary and upsetting). People I worked with have died of Covid (NHS) and so has a friend’s father - I would rather wait until the wave passes and/or we can be vaccinated first.

Raising my hand here too.

My son is a paramedic and is on shift up to Christmas Eve. For the first time ever, he won't come here for Christmas and will spend it with his housemate in the city he lives in.

We're also not seeing my mum, who is in her late 70s - she seems very fit and well but you just never know. She's the one who suggested it and she's happy enough being on her own - as she says, it's only one day. In-laws are in bad health anyway and they won't allow anyone in so it'll just be the three of us. Quite looking forward to having a relaxed one really.

Can someone gently help me be sensible please. I really want to not risk my parents. And it’s really upsetting me. I have a dp who has 2 adult children. They have the other parent and one of them has in laws. I have an ex and an adult ds in one household and a child dd in my household. So she can go to me and her dad.

My dp very nearly died twice this year. He is still recovering.His dc have not seen much of him - they live in the NW. he will want to see his parents (who will also see their other sons and grandchildren) and his dc. He has brain damage and so it’s hard to explain it to him. I will most likely have to let him do what he and his family wants.

We have come this far (my parents actually stood 2 metres from me as I sobbed when we thought he would die and we are very close and cuddly normally). I don’t want to risk it with my folks.

So my question is, I’m best not seeing my parents aren’t I? Maybe a walk before and after Xmas week. My siblings will put them under pressure and I want no part of it. But I’m feeling tearful and like I’m not going to be able to please anyone. I want it to go away frankly. I’ll have Xmas in June please?

Same, it's not worth the risk. We will go for a socially distanced walk with them and maybe have mince pies and mulled wine but nothing inside. We can wait til the summer.

We will be doing Christmas as a household as have tried to keep as safe as possible and not going to undo that whilst there no vaccine being rolled out. We don’t want a third wave so won’t be mixing.

There should be compulsory quarantine after to stop the spread to those who didn’t mix.

We won’t be meeting up. My mum called today and said she is happy to wait until next year, she is clinically vulnerable and doesn’t want to take the risk. Makes it easier, we usually go away so won’t be missing much. Zoom is fine.

We aren't seeing anyone really.
My husband's just left me after 24 years for a younger woman. So it will be me and our 2 adult kids home from uni.
My parents live in England 70 miles away but my mum has Lymphoma so we agreed the other day its not safe to meet.
J nuary is going to awful and so bleak with the inevitable lockdown and increased deaths.

OP you are not alone and actually you are in the majority. As usual, it is the noisy minority that have got their way with this Christmas virus festival.

Joining in! My mother in law is ecv and will die if she catches covid. This three household rule does not diminish her vulnerability in any way so we will not be seeing them. My mum is 150 miles away and alone so my sister and BIL will be going to her, we don’t visit over Christmas anyway as we like to be at home we normally go a couple of weekends before but not this year, it’s just not worth the risk, there is covid in both DC schools at the minute, not their bubbles but it’s there! The three household bubble is stupidly complicated for most families and will lead to so much arguing and falling out. In my opinion the safest and simplest thing to do is just to stay home, it’s one year.

I haven’t gone through the last few months to fuck it all up by taking glitter-covered Covid round to my parents and siblings, so we will be staying put.
The best gift you can give this Christmas? Don’t be a Covid spreading dick. Do an honest risk assessment based on physical and mental health needs amongst those close to you.

@BunnyBoilerRhian and good vibes to you. You will have your dc and hoping they’ll look after you a bit.

We're in, too. Just our household: DH, DC & me. It will be nice just the four of us. We do this every year. But even if we weren't already used to it I doubt I would risk mixing households indoors this Xmas. I would hold out for Easter and have a big party then - providing it would be safe to do so by then.

Joining, we haven't seen any family since last Christmas.
I refuse to add to the madness of it all though.

It will just be me, DH and our 4 DC. Both sets of our parents / step parents are well over 70 and live far away, so would have to stay with us if we did get together. DC will be at school (and me at work in an early years setting) right up until 18th Dec. I just feel that the risk of passing something on is too high.
Youngest dd is clinically vulnerable too, so we really will be keeping it low key and sticking to our household bubble. It's the first Christmas we'll have been completely on our own since oldest ds was born nearly 16 years ago. So it will be very different, but hopefully still a happy one.

I'm very sorry for your troubles @StillDumDeDumming and @BunnyBoilerRhian

Xmas can be postponed, or turned into a ChriZOOMas, or simply just be different, and it'll be ok. Isn't what matters to survive, to get through to the new spring shoots? Sounds trite but I'm hanging onto the thought of brighter days ahead.

And I might make my own piccalilly.