I have a terrible pandemic secret. Maybe you do, too?

[WombOfOnesOwn]

Have seen many threads about lockdowns and pandemic fear, plus being cooped up together, creating challenges for marriages and romantic partnerships.

Is anyone else having the opposite thing happen? I'm probably much less in favor of lockdowns and covid measures than the average person, but in the home, things couldn't be much better. Probably the strangest thing is that DH and I have been having sex like horny teenagers...at least once a day, sometimes even staying up all night. This state of affairs has gone on for weeks now, with no end in sight.

On paper, circumstances sound absolutely dire for a sex life: nearly 10 years together, 3 children under 5 including a 10 week old baby, "rule of six" social limits in a household where there are already 5 people, drama with in-laws, work from home + home schooling stress. But spending so much time practically on top of one another has somehow led to us wanting to spend more time, well, literally on top of one another. We talk more, bring up issues sooner, and by evening we're both feeling the spark every night.

For the sake of so many people I know, in so many situations, including my own children, I want this lockdown to end. But I have a guilty, secret wish that it continues a while longer because of this second honeymoon period I seem to be in with DH, which I know can't last forever and I worry will dissolve when pandemic measures end. I also feel like even bringing up this nice bit will make people angry, since there's a certain bizarre feeling of "if you're not miserable all the time, you're not sacrificing enough" in the air.

Does anyone else have guilty secrets over their pandemic feelings? A friend of mine feels awful for not being able to see her mother in a care home, but also a guilty relief over being able to work from home (she's in a high pressure, high stakes job where her hours and commute are long normally).

Yes, yes, we all want this awful year to end, of course we do...but I can't be the only one who's got a touch of mixed feelings. Tell me yours, and maybe I can stop feeling so ridiculous!

I love not having to kiss or hug people hello or goodbye. Particularly in work meetings. I hope that never comes back.

I learnt how to cut my own hair during the first lockdown. At first it was just trims but now I’ve given myself some layers and a restyle!
So much cheaper and convenient than hairdresser visits.

Not having to kiss and hug people when you are introduced to them for the first time or saying goodbye to them. I don't know why this started but I hate it. I hope the experience of this year will make people more reluctant to kiss and hug strangers/acquaintances.

This new lockdown world suits me and while I know it has been horrendous for a lot of people I think there is a small army of us quite liking it.

This is a good point OP; amongst the terrible things there are some real positives. It does feel uncaring to mention them but it does no good to deny them. When I hear of what some people are going through I do feel horribly guilty about how lucky I've been.

Covid has been very beneficial for me to be honest. I've been working at home since March and set to until August next year. I'm blessed with a supportive employer who let's me work around school runs. As travel time is now not a consideration, I've also been able to go to full time hours. I'm a single mum and recently moved house incurring quite a bit of debt (outside of my hefty mortgage) which keeps me awake at night. My circumstances now mean that I can pay off more than the minimum amounts for the foreseeable future.

I love being at home. It's also very stifling at times; I'd say I feel more lonely but almost that's outweighed by the benefits.

I have a medical condition which was always a challenge to manage in an office environment. But from home, it's much easier and less worrisome.

I've decorated most of my house and it is much tidier than usual

I have always sat down for dinner with the dc in the evenings but now, without all the activities, we often sit down at the table for 2-3 hours in the evening, just chatting about shit. That is really really nice.

I also like that delivery men will just leave stuff in my porch and go now, rather than wanting signatures

Family of 5 key workers here so our jobs continued as normal.
However during the first (proper) lockdown it was much quicker to get to work, fewer children (I'm in Special Ed so we stayed open except for two weeks) no bloody assemblys, no swimming and hallelujah.. there will be no Xmas concert!!!!! For the children I'm with these events can be horribly stressful and I'm glad we all get a break.

For me I realised I didn't want to work full time any more and have now gone down to 3 days, so have time to do lovely dog walks and to play my guitar. I've saved money because we no longer have a cleaner.. and I don't resent cleaning when I'm home more.

My DD2's house move has been delayed which is a shame on one hand..but it means she and her dh are with us for a bit longer, which is lovely. And they got married last month with just 10 of us there, in his families garden and it was so so lovely, I can't regret that the previous 80+ guests couldn't be there!

I'm a tad jealous of those who can wfh but I suspect I'd be the size of a tank if I wasn't on my feet at work!!!

Incredibly grateful that so far we have remained well, two of my family have had Covid but are ok now.

Immensely relieved that DS could do his university Finals online from home, as his mental health had been worryingly rocky and it meant we could feed, monitor and hug him during the process.

(Not during the actual exams. That would be weird.)

I love that my regular B12 injection at the health centre is now drive through. Easier than getting a McDonalds. Drive up outside, nurse waiting for me with needle, quick jab and I'm off. I'm home in 2 mins - no waiting forever in a crowed waiting room. It's been fab.

Hoping they do the Covid jabs like this.

Pre covid we had very busy lives. During lockdown we got to spend time with each other and really appreciate each other. We used to have such a strict routine to allow us to both work full time, keep the house in order, make sure kids go to school and go to weekend clubs etc. Hardly had any time to breath.
I also had a newborn during the first lockdown and my other children were much more involved and they have really bonded well. I really appreciated no visitors and was able to relax and enjoy my newborn. This was a huge thing for me as we have a large family and with my other kids it was really stressful at times with non stop visitors.
The other thing I really appreciated is managing to get the whole house and garden done. Redecorated every where and sorted our garden out. Without the lockdown this would have dragged on.

I get it OP. Before lockdown my DH travelled so much that I utterly miserable at being alone all the time. He's been grounded for nearly a year now, working from home and doing international meetings on zoom. We get to exercise together and have lunch everyday and it's saved our relationship.

Supermarket trolley handles used to be disgusting, often sticky and a suspicious colour, now silky smooth and clean! They were rarely (if ever cleaned) and you had to touch it and then touch your food you were buying.
We failed to transfer our variable interest rate mortgage onto another fixed when our last one expired, just had a letter through this week saying our interest rate has gone down and our mortgage payments will now be £250 less each month - just in time for Xmas! Woopwoop.
DH works from home whereas he used to do a long commute, his work life balance is SO much better, it has improved his relationship with the kids cos he actually sees them in the week now and he isn't so tired.
Lockdown and its side effects have been good for us.
I too often feel bad about those whose situation has been different, I actively keep an eye on all my friends and local businesses and do what I can to support them, I don't feel smug and removed from their pain, I feel fortunate and inclined to do my bit.

I loved no visitors in the hospital when I had my baby and this time there was no pressure from in-laws fo visit. I also love that no one is pushing me to go to dire baby groups (once they are walking it's fine but I see no point when they are tiny).

This is my third baby and I've just been able to stay in my happy little baby bubble without hearing what I "should" be doing. It's bliss.

I am an NHS nurse and was redeployed at the start of lockdown. My small team and I love where we have been moved to and it looks like we may be staying so it worked out well for us from a nursing POV.

It’s been good for my relationship with my two teen ds’s. Ds1 moved into dorms this term, and we make a conscious effort to call each other or meet for coffee. I love that he feels he can tell me anything about what’s going on in his life. Ds2 is still at home and we’ve got into some lovely routines, dinner and a movie a few nights a week, that sort of thing. He’s also made new friends through some of the online groups that have sprung up around shared interests. I home educated anyway, so not much about that has changed for us, but it’s no longer thought of as quite so weird!

It's been a mixed bag for us. For a big chunk the lack of childcare, while trying to both work from home with a preschooler has been a nightmare. But once schools reopened, and we sorted out our childcare, we've been quite enjoying each other's company. We're exhausted by 10pm, but have a lot of energy for midday fun and frolic, which has been nice.

Well, was nice for a few weeks, and now I'm pregnant and nauseous all the time, so no more sex ever again I think.

I'm also not missing social hugging and kissing - I always hated it! Jovial elbow bumps are a big improvement and I really hope they continue.

And working from home gives me so much extra time in the day, seems ridiculous that I used to get dressed up and stuff myself into a crowded tube carriage twice a day, to do the same work I can get done more efficiently in my own home.

Oh also it's been the perfect excuse to have a tiny wedding - it had always been a bone of contention with my MIL who thought it was her right to have 200+ of HER friends at my wedding! But a registry office do with a maximum of 6 guests has drawn a line under that argument. Bliss!

My immune system doesn’t work properly due to a medical condition so for many years I’ve been careful to avoid crowded places, used hand gel, kept away from people with colds etc. I’ve never felt more relaxed about my illness because everyone else is suddenly being so careful!

My DH says that it’s now become socially acceptable to fart to cover up a cough, rather than coughIng to hide a fart

I adored Lockdown 1. he lack of social obligations, kids having more time at home which they absolutely loved. more time in the garden and to just 'be'. didn't care how the house looked because no fucker would be coming round. Heaven. Our mental health was great.

I'm an NHS worker and worked throughout both lockdowns in a high pressure hospital based job, so it isn't like I didn't do anything through it all!

I took the leap to de register my kids and because my husband can work anywhere. We’re going to travel the world for the next few years

I’m very very excited!

I feel 200% less tired.
My DH used to get up at 5.50am every single day to go to work.
Now we don’t wake up until after 7am.
It’s so bloody lovely.

But I’ll still be glad to get back to normal for lots of other things.

@ChickensMightFly - good point about the supermarket trolleys pre-covid. I didn't need the government to tell me to wash my hands when getting in from shopping but think I'll still clean trolley handles when we get back to normal. Dont know why I've not thought of it before, I routinely pack wipes for the seat arms/trays when flying and for hotel remotes etc.

Agree with most of the other posts, lockdown has been beneficial for me too in many ways;

• permanent homeworking has been a game-changer in terms of not losing a couple of hours a day commuting, hot desking around a dirty hot crowded office with game-playing devious colleagues. Not sure what will happen when we return next year, but I can't go back to that life now.
• not wearing full make-up every single day (I'm sorry skin for what I've put you through all these years).
• not blow drying and heat styling hair every day (ditto apologies hair).
• spending less.
• not being guilted into spending time with people I'd rather not.
• seeing the birds feeding each day and a little gang of baby birds growing up this year. Pre-covid I'd fill the feeders and come home to empty ones but rarely got to see how many birds come each day and hear their singing and squabbles.