I have a terrible pandemic secret. Maybe you do, too?

[WombOfOnesOwn]

Have seen many threads about lockdowns and pandemic fear, plus being cooped up together, creating challenges for marriages and romantic partnerships.

Is anyone else having the opposite thing happen? I'm probably much less in favor of lockdowns and covid measures than the average person, but in the home, things couldn't be much better. Probably the strangest thing is that DH and I have been having sex like horny teenagers...at least once a day, sometimes even staying up all night. This state of affairs has gone on for weeks now, with no end in sight.

On paper, circumstances sound absolutely dire for a sex life: nearly 10 years together, 3 children under 5 including a 10 week old baby, "rule of six" social limits in a household where there are already 5 people, drama with in-laws, work from home + home schooling stress. But spending so much time practically on top of one another has somehow led to us wanting to spend more time, well, literally on top of one another. We talk more, bring up issues sooner, and by evening we're both feeling the spark every night.

For the sake of so many people I know, in so many situations, including my own children, I want this lockdown to end. But I have a guilty, secret wish that it continues a while longer because of this second honeymoon period I seem to be in with DH, which I know can't last forever and I worry will dissolve when pandemic measures end. I also feel like even bringing up this nice bit will make people angry, since there's a certain bizarre feeling of "if you're not miserable all the time, you're not sacrificing enough" in the air.

Does anyone else have guilty secrets over their pandemic feelings? A friend of mine feels awful for not being able to see her mother in a care home, but also a guilty relief over being able to work from home (she's in a high pressure, high stakes job where her hours and commute are long normally).

Yes, yes, we all want this awful year to end, of course we do...but I can't be the only one who's got a touch of mixed feelings. Tell me yours, and maybe I can stop feeling so ridiculous!

@coolshoeshine, well done for paying off your debts! We've also saved a small fortune. And I feel the same about work Xmas dos, although I have an extra reason to avoid drinking this year!

Congratulations Wanderdust!

Awww congratulations @Wanderdust! I have a friend who is a solicitor and successfully hid her pregnancy with TWINS from her co-workers (other than HR) until she was more than 7 months along. When I previously worked with a woman who was pregnant with twins, everyone in the office had figured it out by the time she was 12 weeks.

Oh yes! Introverts unite! Not having to open the door for deliveries - I do give a cheery wave and a thumbs up from the upstairs window so not being mean to the delivery people but I don't miss having to run the length of a narrow but long terrace to open the door after the ding dong, just to swipe a signature on a mucky pad whilst probably looking like crap and trying to make small talk. I expect it's quicker for them too to just do the photo snap and go (although sure companies are capitalising on that and expecting more drops...)

I love teaching virtually..children in real life don't have a mute button!

I think it shows how divided society are. Lots of people saving money whilst I know people who are in danger of losing their homes. I work in social care and we're all working much harder as are people in logistics and supermarkets.

i love wearing a mask. I dont have to be arsed with my make up.

people i dont want to speak to ignore me now as they dont recognise me. Not in a "i dont like them" way, just a i want to be left alone today way

i havent been as sick as normal thanks to social distancing.

i love being home, with my kids more, left alone from the world.

im still as skint as ever but i am happy, i am relatively healthy and im eternally grateful for this

I'm loving it. We are spending quality time together, cooking together, de cluttered our house and our minds. We has 2 weeks of self isolation that we've loved, bonded with the neighbours. So much to be grateful for.

I’m loving Saturday night in watching TV. It’s not like I never want to go out again but a year of being largely antisocial suits me just fine.

I also have an incredibly annoying colleague that I previously had to deal with every day in the office. We sat next to each other rather than actually working together so I’ve now had next to no contact with her for nearly a year.

@Rockybooboo the divide is the size of an ocean. What polar opposite experiences for people.

In general, I've hated lockdown. I miss my friends and family and having freedom to go where I want and do as I please. However, I met my boyfriend in the first week of this year and since we both live alone we decided to keep seeing each other even before bubbles were allowed and I think it's really bonded us. In the time when you'd usually be out on fun dates every week we've been at home together in comfy clothes watching tv, playing games and talking to each other for hours on end. I feel like we've gotten to know each other much quicker and on on a deeper level than we would have if it had been a normal year. It was lovely when things were relaxed in the summer and we were able to go out for nice meals and do activities again but I really have loved spending so much quality time with him.

@userxx I think we're storing up problems. It almost feels like we've gone back to the Downtown Abbey days, the key workers are the staff and the working from home who are saving masses of money are the landed gentry. Of course then whave the underclass who are the people who's jobs are being decimated.

It’s been absolutely lovely for us. Life is slower and calmer. We have more family time. We are discovering what really matters and what doesn’t. I was very worried because dd is not NT and we have had to postpone some therapies, but we are finding we can actually cover most of it ourselves and her stress levels are way down anyway.

I was made redundant from a job I really disliked but stuck at because it looked good on my CV for the future.

I should have been sad and maybe I was a little bit, especially when the colleagues I considered friends and had worked with for three years didn't even so much as send a goodbye card let alone arrange a collection. I think I secretly breathed a sigh of relief though ultimately.

I start a new job on Monday doing something I know I will enjoy, that's going to be rewarding in many different ways and pays more than the previous one.

I do feel guilty at how nice our life is right now because we definitely fall on the side of the haves in the growing divide. We are doing what we can to compensate, donating to charity, paying holiday bonuses, etc.

I can work more to my natural bodyclock. Quality time with immediate family, and increased (online) contact with many friends. I've 'attended' lots of events which would've been too much of a hassle IRL. Cooking more and eating better. Chores done around wfh, freeing weekends up. Space and peace to recover from my miscarriage during lockdown #1. While the last one isn't an experience I'm particularly keen to repeat, some of the others I'll be looking to carry on.

I love my husband is now working from home, it means he can take DS to school rather than him being dropped at club at 7:30, it also means I can go to work a bit earlier which means a less stressful to my working day and also he's home for us all to eat together in the early evening. I don't want him to have to go back as it suits our family so much. He's liking it too, I'm not totally selfish! Haha!

Very glad we didn't have to host relatives for Christmas.

I've been better off despite being on a low income, because of the extra £20pw on tax credits. I run a small limited company and I've put myself and my son on furlough. He gets UC so has got the extra £20 too. It's been nice to have a break from working - to be honest I would have had to take a break anyway due to having a toddler and studying, life was just getting too busy. We've been able to top up our salaries with a bounce back loan.

I'm also on PIP, which I was transferred to from DLA during lockdown - I got a paper decision really quickly and didn't have anything queried. I've also had HMRC deal with my tax credits issues really quickly, including childcare costs - I guess they're all working from home and processing things as quickly as possible without quibbling over details, which has made life easier for me.

I am secretly glad that DS2 didn't have to sit A levels. He is very clever and his course work throughout the year was A* in every subject but he goes to pieces in every exam he's ever sat (HFA and he just fugues for half the exam) So he got the marks he deserved, not the ones he might have ended up with. And he was a lot less stressed.

Also secretly glad that lockdown meant DS1 was forced to spend time with us. He had such a busy life we rarely saw him even though he technically lived at home. Lockdown meant walks and chats and jokes and even the occasional hug.

I love not popping to the shop 4-5 times a week for random bits (bananas, ham), I meal plan, get a delivery weekly and don’t set foot in a supermarket. I’ve used the pandemic as an excuse, but really, I was getting bored with the monotony and everyone was used to having fresh bananas/bakery items etc.

We’ve saved money, spent some money on the house without affecting savings.

The main thing for me is being at home for the dcs every night. Ok, I’m wfh so can’t give them full attention, and as preteens they disappear upstairs anyway - but my sons anxiety has definitely decreased, and homework is done at a reasonable time as I can remind them at 4.30 instead of nag them at 6.30.

Dp is happier as he is self employed, doesn’t have to pick up from the childminder 3 days a week, and has more flexibility. He also hasn’t cooked since March but tbh that’s fine, as I leave him all clearing up.

My mum died suddenly and unexpectedly recently, not COVID related. My dad, my sister and I were able to grieve together, without a stream of visitors coming to pay their respects . I couldn't have coped with other peoples grief and reliving the sadness with each and every visit.

I like popping to shops for bargains, as there are lots of yellow labels as people tend to shop online. M&S and Waitrose are good for this.

Well we loved the first one. Moved in temporarily with my partner and we had a great time all bonding as a family. Helped the weather was so nice as well. We had kept our jobs, was saving money and didn't get sick from the virus.
This time around it's a lot harder. Yes DP earns fantastic money wfh, still saving a lot of money etc but I have had to return home and it's devastating for us knowing we may not be able to stay at each others homes until Easter at least. Really hard to take.

I love that DS can wake later as DH is WFH and can now take him to school.
I love being on nearly empty buses and no one can sit next to me.
Cafes are much nicer as less people /no mums meeting up with their noisy kids (sorry!) /no noisy groups talking loudly .
I like wearing a face covering. My facial expression is now not public 🤣
I am an introvert and have avoided many social situations