I have a terrible pandemic secret. Maybe you do, too?

[WombOfOnesOwn]

Have seen many threads about lockdowns and pandemic fear, plus being cooped up together, creating challenges for marriages and romantic partnerships.

Is anyone else having the opposite thing happen? I'm probably much less in favor of lockdowns and covid measures than the average person, but in the home, things couldn't be much better. Probably the strangest thing is that DH and I have been having sex like horny teenagers...at least once a day, sometimes even staying up all night. This state of affairs has gone on for weeks now, with no end in sight.

On paper, circumstances sound absolutely dire for a sex life: nearly 10 years together, 3 children under 5 including a 10 week old baby, "rule of six" social limits in a household where there are already 5 people, drama with in-laws, work from home + home schooling stress. But spending so much time practically on top of one another has somehow led to us wanting to spend more time, well, literally on top of one another. We talk more, bring up issues sooner, and by evening we're both feeling the spark every night.

For the sake of so many people I know, in so many situations, including my own children, I want this lockdown to end. But I have a guilty, secret wish that it continues a while longer because of this second honeymoon period I seem to be in with DH, which I know can't last forever and I worry will dissolve when pandemic measures end. I also feel like even bringing up this nice bit will make people angry, since there's a certain bizarre feeling of "if you're not miserable all the time, you're not sacrificing enough" in the air.

Does anyone else have guilty secrets over their pandemic feelings? A friend of mine feels awful for not being able to see her mother in a care home, but also a guilty relief over being able to work from home (she's in a high pressure, high stakes job where her hours and commute are long normally).

Yes, yes, we all want this awful year to end, of course we do...but I can't be the only one who's got a touch of mixed feelings. Tell me yours, and maybe I can stop feeling so ridiculous!

[MawkishHawk]

We got a long, handwritten letter today, addressed ‘Dear Neighbour’, from the Jehovah’s witnesses. I thought that’s nice. They’ve found a way to god-bother in the pandemic, but I don’t have to think of excuses to get them to go away, I can just put their ramblings straight into the recycling. Everyone’s happy.

[powershowerforanhour]

No kids birthday parties every weekend in big concretey echoey soft play warehouses with horrible lukewarm sausage rolls and minging skinny fries as the only sustenance whilst contemplating having to host one of the happy occasions when it's our turn (which would have been early on so if restrictions last over a year, we'll dodge that scenario twice) .Thank fuckity doo dah.

[Delatron]

I’ve been enjoying my long Sunday runs. This Sunday DS1 hockey tournament in one direction DS2 hockey in the other direction. Fab for them to get back to sport but I was loving my Sunday morning runs.

[SomewhereEast]

As a forrin", this thread really reminds me of the old joke that "an English person's idea of heaven is a train carriage to themselves"

[beenwhereyouare]

@Fuckitsstillraining
Now that I can breathe again, thank you for the absolute best laugh I've had in a month! 😂😂😂😂

[Treaclepie19]

For me its been lovely not having to have people over when our baby was born. She's now 10 weeks though and I would like to get out a little.

[Treaclepie19]

@Graphista I have OCD and have found the same. My worry is I don't know how well I'll find going back into the world. I'm scared stiff of seeing my parents even.

[zafferana]

Yes, us too @Ninbuscl. And spending 2 hours each time at a trampoline park, village hall, etc making polite chit chat with other parents you don't know very well - hideous. And the cost of your own DC's party each year plus £15 for each other DC's present. There have been things I've hated about this year, but no DC's parties has been BLISS!

[Ninbuscl]

Yes zafferana no kids parties is so awesome. We would sometimes have two in a weekend where kids would spend all weekend eating junk food and also come home with packs of haribos- not missing those !!

[Ratatcat]

I’ve hated lockdown especially the first one when there was no childcare. It was awful for everyone and the first lockdown certainly didn’t bring me and my husband closer- we were mega stressed and argued lots. We were working at odd hours while doing childcare and it was just too much. But, I’ve tried to look at the positives:

• change in culture re work from home and no stress about being on time to pick the children up. I used to hate the panicked feeling of getting to the train station to see cancellations and knowing I’d be too late to get home.
  
• saving two lots of nursery fees
  
• less faff around drop-offs for nursery, school, activities etc and better hygiene.
  
• my husband had to do childcare and it brought him much closer to our youngest in particular. During my mat leave, he had become default parent for our eldest and pre-lock down the baby was quite clingy to me.
  
  For the second lockdown with schools and childcare opened, I’ve appreciated some of the benefits more and wfh has felt lovely. I miss the office and interaction. I hope We never go back to commuting all the times but a balance would be lovely.

[zafferana]

Oh god yes - no play dates and NO KIDS PARTIES!!!

[Ninbuscl]

Having an excuse not to host play dates for kids friends and also not feeling like they are missing out as nobody can do play dates. Having an excuse not to have to go for mums coffees. Wearing a mask so nobody can see facial expression. Lovely clean quiet swimming pool where our family get our own bit of the pool.

[toycat]

Oh also stopped wearing makeup and my rosacea has cleared up for the first time in a decade

[toycat]

Loving working from home and being able to go for a nice walk at lunchtime. We didn't have a view of the sky at our office so am appreciating having a lot more natural light, especially this time of year. Don't miss scraping the car on cold mornings! Saved loads from no childcare and are enjoying splitting the school run between us. DH has really enjoyed seeing kid grow since March.

[MargotLovedTom1]

I'm happy that there's not going to be a staff Christmas party. I CBA with it!

[Dennisreynoldsduster]

I've loved having DH at home. We had our first baby at Christmas and selfishly, it's meant he's been able to share the load much more than he would have done. He also LOVES that he gets to see DS so much and says he's going to absolutely hate it when he has to go back to the office and won't see him pretty much all day

[MerryMissie]

Actually loads of things.
I have loved having less nights out... although dh and I friends have dc as we do there was always a party or night out happening and I am happy to have spent my weekends not feeling like a party pooper for politely declining an invite.

I took the opportunity to leave a job that was running me ragged. Lifes too short. And actually found somethibg that pays more for less stress but I am commuting daily however this heading to the office is good for my mental health

Dh does every school drop off as hes wfh meaning its not a mad dash for kids in the a.m

DH quit his hectic hobby and took up a slightly less hectic/time consuming onr but as this cant be done in lockdown weve had lots of family time.

[Furries]

FML, have only got as far as 12 responses so far - there’s always one! Maybe I should take it as a positive that it took 12 replies to get there!

[Charleyhorses]

Well.
Dd1-25 has done alright
Moved home. Got Made redundant, got some cash. New job 6 weeks ago on the same money as before. Is looking for a flat to rent for herself for less than she was paying for one room in London!

[AMBE123]

I love working from home, I only have to see the people I want to see and not deal with office cliques. At the start of lockdown as I was living separately from bf we couldn't see each other. I was really put out by it to start with as I'd been meant to move in this year but because he hadn't sorted things out we ended up separated by the lockdiwn. But actually it has given me a new perspective, I have found happimes and contentment within my own life and home and decided I didn't want to move or give that up. So now we just see each other for dates, it's much better!
I love that people give more space in shops and it is no longer weird to sanitise a trolley or avoid touching door handles. I'm just generally happier, I am more introverted than I realised and finally my time has come.

[Craftycorvid]

elfycat. In introvert solidarity!

Far and away the biggest blow was losing my DM back in May - it was very sudden, then very surreal with how we had to organise the funeral service outdoors and with barely anyone there.

Amazingly, there have also been unexpected good things too: from being someone who plodded on the treadmill at the gym, I’ve become an outdoor runner and wouldn’t go back to how it was before - it’s a completely different experience.

I’m now doing the job I’ve always wanted on my terms.

I’ve made progress in my professional qualifications - had more time to focus.

I had an absolutely huge clothing clear out and sold lots on eBay.

I’ve become accustomed to my make-up-less face and, as a result, don’t feel so much pressure to wear it unless I really feel like it.

Now it feels like waiting for a new chapter to begin.

[elfycat]

In April I decided to try my hand at more seriously growing a small Etsy shop and move onto another platform. I've had the time to list and post things. Some of my wholesale suppliers do next day free delivery (minimum spend) and although I'm not 'earning' as I'm reinvesting to grow things I've gone from ordering £250-400 worth of goods every other month to £700+ per month. Best bit? I don't have to talk to people (except post office staff) and can just play with websites and my stock. A tiny happy empire of one.

I've also had time to write, edit, and send a couple of manuscripts out. I send to 10 literary agents every 3 months to keep the task manageable. No takers so far but I have had a request for more, then full MS (was no in the end) and another saying it was too young for their YA but she wanted to read the rest for her own enjoyment. I'm sending those out again next week (after NaNoWriMo ends) and editing something else.

I had a wobble at the uncertainty during the first lockdown, but enjoyed spending time with my primary school aged children. This time is ramping up work and enjoying it.

I think us introverts have been in training our whole lives for something like this. It really does take all kinds...

[Orangeblossom7777]

The Christmas market here is cancelled which is causing happiness amongst people and shops in the city.

[Mumof3andlovingit]

I loved the first lockdown. Had a baby and no visitors! Both my DD and DS were able to bond with baby really well. I was also able to breast feed more confidently as DH was able to support me a lot more with him being home. DH was furloughed, but that didn’t hurt us much as he had recently had a promotion so his wage after furlough was what he was on before anyway. I was still on maternity pay, so overall income wasn’t affected. However, we did end up saving tons of money as neither of us drove our cars much, cooked food at home so no takeouts and kids clubs were all cancelled. We really grew closer as a family and realised how busy our lives were pre lockdown.
We also sorted the whole house out and decluttering never felt so good!

[HesterBlue]

I'm secretly really happy we're not travelling across the country this Christmas to see all of our joint families. We travel every year but it's usually an exhausting trip and I'm hoping it will be nice to spend Christmas quietly at home just us 4 for a change!