I have a terrible pandemic secret. Maybe you do, too?

[WombOfOnesOwn]

Have seen many threads about lockdowns and pandemic fear, plus being cooped up together, creating challenges for marriages and romantic partnerships.

Is anyone else having the opposite thing happen? I'm probably much less in favor of lockdowns and covid measures than the average person, but in the home, things couldn't be much better. Probably the strangest thing is that DH and I have been having sex like horny teenagers...at least once a day, sometimes even staying up all night. This state of affairs has gone on for weeks now, with no end in sight.

On paper, circumstances sound absolutely dire for a sex life: nearly 10 years together, 3 children under 5 including a 10 week old baby, "rule of six" social limits in a household where there are already 5 people, drama with in-laws, work from home + home schooling stress. But spending so much time practically on top of one another has somehow led to us wanting to spend more time, well, literally on top of one another. We talk more, bring up issues sooner, and by evening we're both feeling the spark every night.

For the sake of so many people I know, in so many situations, including my own children, I want this lockdown to end. But I have a guilty, secret wish that it continues a while longer because of this second honeymoon period I seem to be in with DH, which I know can't last forever and I worry will dissolve when pandemic measures end. I also feel like even bringing up this nice bit will make people angry, since there's a certain bizarre feeling of "if you're not miserable all the time, you're not sacrificing enough" in the air.

Does anyone else have guilty secrets over their pandemic feelings? A friend of mine feels awful for not being able to see her mother in a care home, but also a guilty relief over being able to work from home (she's in a high pressure, high stakes job where her hours and commute are long normally).

Yes, yes, we all want this awful year to end, of course we do...but I can't be the only one who's got a touch of mixed feelings. Tell me yours, and maybe I can stop feeling so ridiculous!

[Onedropbeat]

I loved not having anywhere to go when baby was born

I also had way more sex when DH was working from home
Unfortunately that only happened during first lockdown and is now back at work and we no longer seem to find the time

[CatMuffin]

I'm loving not having to taxi teenagers, apart from to school sometimes and I'm loving not having to go to school meetings as they are all done as presentations online. I'm liking not having to have people in my house all the time, so having to clean and tidy less. Widow so no sex

[ivfbeenbusy]

Got to spend time at home with DD before she stated school as I was furloughed for a month and then WFH

Company has moved to fully agile working so will never be permanently office based again 🥳

My usual work has had to adapt so it's been nice to do different things for once!

Finally managed to get pregnant and stay pregnant after 5 rounds of IVF - and it's twins! Who knows if the working from home and general lack of stress made the difference this time??

[BefuddledPerson]

@justanotherneighinparadise

I actually like wearing a mask now 😮. I’m going to miss the security of covering half my face in public.

I have this a bit, especially when paired with sunglasses too

[RandyGiles06]

It’s not so much a secret but I came back from maternity leave during this pandemic and I love that I can work from home and drop my toddler off at nursery which is 5 minutes away and I’m not rushing around, which I would be if I then had to commute into the city. Work are happy for us all to work from home for the time being but once the pandemic is over I know I’ll be expected to go back at least a couple of days a week and I’m dreading it!

[Yesyoudoknowme]

This is why old proverbs are so true - 'It's an ill wind that blows nobody any good'... I am loving the fact that both me and DH are WFH and have been the whole time, we are saving my entire shockingly poor salary due to no commute and organising meals/shopping better.
I am also far less stressed so my stress-induced illness has only reared it's ugly head twice since March which is an added bonus. I was suffering every month before.

No upturn in our sex life though

[OneMoreForExtra]

I'm having a lovely war. Not commuting is saving me 4 hours a day and giving me back the weekday bedtimes with the kids and I get to do the school run. Weekends aren't dominated by structured kids activities. I'm saving money for the first time in 10 years. While DH and I havent picked up the OPs shagfest, we are talking more. I'm not so tired. Kids are happier. Mot seeing the in-laws. Of course it has to end for the sake of everyone who is struggling, the economy, and general resumption of society, but I will look back on this year as a blissful reprieve.

[SchadenfreudePersonified]

Flip side it’s fucking constant and I’m falling to pieces for some space.

Same here.

Every year I had a week away ON MY OWN (well - with the dogs, who are very good company) and i loved it. It kept me sane.

Aslo DH and DD used to go out a few times a week and I could just - whatever - it was bliss!

Now there is ALWAYS someone i the house, and it's driving me crackers.

[SchadenfreudePersonified]

(Sorry - minor de-rail as this lovely thread was a "what is good" one.

I'll shut up.

[XDownwiththissortofthingX]

@niceupthedance

I'm emetophobic and during the first lockdown I experienced the first time since I was 4 without severe anxiety and intrusive thoughts. it was totally life changing I felt amazing

You are not alone. Every single emetophobe I know, and I know a few, has said exactly the same thing. My partner is one, and although there is still obvious anxiety about this virus being on the loose among the general public, the reduction in day-to-day anxious behaviours from March through June was obvious.

[MotherOfChaos28]

What a nice thread. Honestly lockdown hasn’t affected us a lot. I work in social care so have continued to work as before (actually have worked much harder, cheers covid) and dh works in engineering so he’s been going out to work as usual. But it’s definitely been nice all being at home together on days off, not having to spend every Saturday rushing the kids to piano lessons and ballet lessons and tap lessons. It’s nice to just be.

[Fuckitsstillraining]

Had to reread your comment, and then think on the previous posts. Thought I'd missed where someone had gender reassignment during lockdown and was thinking what a great time to do it, peace to recover and adjust.

[jackstini]

Lovely thread. I know it's shot fir many but pulling out the silver linings gives hope and a more balanced view

I was made redundant but because of the work I did during liquidation have got a new job in a different part of the company. All wfh (poss customer visits & travel when out of lockdown) not set hours and opportunity to earn more

DH and I are walking together every weekend

Am missing church but doing via zoom and Facebook live has given all the people on the door welcome/books/tech/music/coffee etc rotas a break!

Saved a ton of money not going on holiday (which I do miss - but the lovely summer helped)

More time to read and weekends with nothing planned have been very relaxing sometimes

Our car went back in September and new one is delayed until March - we have a little runaround on loan but barely done 200 miles in 2 months!

Friends who's kids have multiple activities have had a bit of a sabbatical too
I think lots of people will not go back to the way things were now the have had an (albeit forced) opportunity to see how different it can be...

[Butchyrestingface]

Not only do I love working from home, but as a freelancer, my career is healthier than it's ever been - precisely working remotely means I'm able to cover many more jobs than I otherwise could. I've been happier professionally these past 8 months than the entire 20 years previously put together.

I want to work from home forever and remote working to become the norm in my industry.

[Fuckitsstillraining]

@NeonIcedcoffee

Congratulations on the sex op

Meant to put this quote on my post about gender reassignment, makes fuck all sense without it.

[ImperfectTents]

I saw a gift shop on the news and while I felt bad for the owner who was discussing the effect on her business the actual shop behind her was full of pointless crap and I found myself thinking 'would it be so bad if we all stopped buying this shite?'.

[Hellomoonstar]

Dh is home more often and is doing all the shopping. I gave birth at the end of April and he started doing all the shopping two weeks before lockdown. He has been the most involved this time around compared to our other two sons.

What I strongly disliked and made me feel sad the most at the first lockdown was the fact register office could only do deaths. I was in denial about the deaths until they said they are only registering deaths.

This time around dsis is in hospital and no one is able to visit her. She is covid negative but she is in stroke ward (because that is where they found her a bed) and it is to protect her and others from covid. She was feeling very sad and was filled with anxiety on Saturday. I would like to thank Facebook where she found people that have the same diagnosis as her and helped her not feel alone. If there was no lockdown she would probably be busy talking and hugging people instead of looking for people with same condition as her. She found hope there.

[FuzzyPenguin]

I am living my best life, finally a reason not to have to go to things without offending people. No rushing from one thing to the next, being able to give up volunteering (which I have done for the last 15 years) without feeling guilty as it’s closed.

[JulietteLeGall]

I have lots and it’s actually good for the soul to reflect on the positives.

-My primary DC now don’t have to share the bus with much older secondary students and this makes me feel better.

-Parents evening on the phone instead of sitting in a school hall for an eternity all for 10 minutes being told they are fine.

-Quick medical assistance when needed with no crowded waiting rooms

-No weekend sports dragging us around the county first thing on a Sunday (although I’m glad its a shorter break this time as the DC miss it)

-No Christmas Fayre at school

-No pressure to be sociable at the weekend giving us a relaxed couple of days and the odd walk

-Being given 6 months notice to leave my rental instead of 2 (still shit but trying to see the positive!)

-Zoom in general, I have an interview coming up and I am so relived to be doing it in the comfort of my own home!

[Fullmoonparty]

Great thread! I was heavily pregnant during the start of the pandemic so was super grateful to not have to commute the last two months of pregnancy. I loved working from home and was actually more productive - plus I got to work right up until my due date so got a few extra weeks maternity leave. It was nice not having a huge influx of visitors when I first had my DD as I had a traumatic birth, infected csec scar etc so was nice to just find my feet being a mum without having to entertain people. Also handy now I’m on statutory maternity pay that I can’t go out and do anything anyway so not feeling so poor lol. I missed going on holiday but we were so lucky with first lockdown to have great weather and I’m very lucky to have a garden. Even this time round it’s been fairly dry where I am so still been able to go to the park. I have been sad that loads of the baby’s classes have been cancelled but we have got to do some stuff and hopefully will again soon, was tricky picking a nursery for when I return to work as you can’t view any! Secretly hope we get to WFH a bit more in the future :) don’t feel guilty for looking at the positives - it’s been a very strange, scary year for some so i think it’s important to find happiness or pleasure in whatever you can!

[cricketmum84]

I'm loving working from home and not having to do my hair and make up every day. Also I have a reasonable excuse to not partake in nights out. And I'm loving not having to let people into my personal space too.

Also getting the more sex thing with DH although I'm craving a day alone all to myself as we are both WFH.

[Orangeblossom7777]

We were so stressed about the mortgage- it is in an endowment and was due to finish during the pandemic and the FTSE kept going down.

We're not wealthy in fact have health problems, and DH is self employed which was very stressful too.

But then, the week it matured was the same week Biden won and the vaccine news came though- due to these it improved just enough to cover the mortgage so that was such a relief.

Now even if the rest of things are dire (DH is in the CEV group as well so life is not easy sometimes) we don't have that to worry about- it gave a small lump sum also which was useful and could not have been more timely.

[Toddlerteaplease]

NT places that would be heaving on sunny days are now quieter because you have to pre book. Ok, it takes the spontaneity away. But it's a much better experience when you are there.

I've discovered many local walls I didn't know about.

I've got fitter. And taken up cycling again.

But I'm desperate to just go and sit in a coffee shop with a coffee and a newspaper.

[Littlebean0506]

Back in March I had been at my new job for 8 days before lockdown. I had just returned from maternity leave and as much as I was enjoying my new job I felt terrible leaving my daughter (with people she'd known for months) during lockdown I went onto unpaid leave and although I wasn't being paid (which was awful) I loved the extra few months at home, it meant I got to watch my daughter's first steps and watch her become more of a toddler. I went back two days before her first birthday. It was definitely easier to leave her as she was slightly older and more independent.

[DougRossIsTheBoss]

I can wear scrubs at work
After 15 years of having my work outfits scrutinised and criticised its a huge relief.
It'll also save me lots of money not having to buy a whole work wardrobe

Plus I can wfh sometimes which I never thought would be possible in my job. I hate mornings and love rolling out of bed with minutes to spare to my Teams meeting.

I don't have to drive to endless boring meetings as they are all on Teams now. No more getting stuck in traffic and not being able to park.