I have a terrible pandemic secret. Maybe you do, too?

[WombOfOnesOwn]

Have seen many threads about lockdowns and pandemic fear, plus being cooped up together, creating challenges for marriages and romantic partnerships.

Is anyone else having the opposite thing happen? I'm probably much less in favor of lockdowns and covid measures than the average person, but in the home, things couldn't be much better. Probably the strangest thing is that DH and I have been having sex like horny teenagers...at least once a day, sometimes even staying up all night. This state of affairs has gone on for weeks now, with no end in sight.

On paper, circumstances sound absolutely dire for a sex life: nearly 10 years together, 3 children under 5 including a 10 week old baby, "rule of six" social limits in a household where there are already 5 people, drama with in-laws, work from home + home schooling stress. But spending so much time practically on top of one another has somehow led to us wanting to spend more time, well, literally on top of one another. We talk more, bring up issues sooner, and by evening we're both feeling the spark every night.

For the sake of so many people I know, in so many situations, including my own children, I want this lockdown to end. But I have a guilty, secret wish that it continues a while longer because of this second honeymoon period I seem to be in with DH, which I know can't last forever and I worry will dissolve when pandemic measures end. I also feel like even bringing up this nice bit will make people angry, since there's a certain bizarre feeling of "if you're not miserable all the time, you're not sacrificing enough" in the air.

Does anyone else have guilty secrets over their pandemic feelings? A friend of mine feels awful for not being able to see her mother in a care home, but also a guilty relief over being able to work from home (she's in a high pressure, high stakes job where her hours and commute are long normally).

Yes, yes, we all want this awful year to end, of course we do...but I can't be the only one who's got a touch of mixed feelings. Tell me yours, and maybe I can stop feeling so ridiculous!

[giletrouge]

OP this is the first thing I've read this morning and it's made me smile and laugh. I'm so happy for you, it sounds lovely.
Me - not so much on the sex front, but being free to paint pictures is an utter, utter joy and I feel I'm making huge progress, so much so I can imagine I might send a submission to the Royal Academy show next year (and a few more places) - which I've never had the confidence to do before.
And yes, I'm fully aware many people are suffering hugely and want their suffering to end, for sure.
Thank you so much for posting.

[Nancydowns]

What a lovley thread.

I'm loving my dh being home and not spending 5 hours a day travelling to London and back. He's here for breakfast, dinner and bath time and bed time. He can now help with the kids so they have bonded so much more and it's given me a much needed break.

[SlothWithACloth]

I love just being at home in the evenings and chilling with the family. The dcs are missing their activities so I feel bad for them but I’m happy to not having to ferry anyone to places every evening. With 3 dcs, someone had something going on most evenings.

[Sara2000]

We also have more money.

[MerlotChiantiMontepulicano]

We've had a good year as a family of three, not related to COVID.

I have also enjoyed not seeing the ILs as much and dh being work from home. Even though I'd secretly like him in the office a couple of days a week so I can be alone for a bit!

[EndoplasmicReticulum]

Some things are so much easier online. Lots of school things, parents' evening etc, did I miss standing around in the hall waiting for the people in front who wouldn't stop talking?

[nosswith]

There have been upsides for me. Not sitting on a train for an hour in the morning, not having a precise time to get up each day (though each day only varies by a few minutes in reality), cooking my own lunch, cleaning my teeth three times a day, to name a few.

[NeonIcedcoffee]

Congratulations on the sex op

[Lindtballsrock]

I have definitely benefited from the peace and quiet this year. No rushing about, no office politics just working quietly at home has done wonders for my mental health.

[pinkearedcow]

I don't mind wearing a mask so much in the cold as it hides the red nose I get in winter! I have very much enjoyed improving my cooking skills and we have a veg box delivery and a milkman now, both of which we'll stick with when this is over. I love having milk delivered in bottles, it reminds me of my childhood.

Other than that, I am not enjoying this, bit it is good to try and find positives. I do envy you the hot sex, though OP!

[SoupDragon]

circumstances sound absolutely dire for a sex life: nearly 10 years together, 3 children under 5 including a 10 week old baby, "rule of six" social limits

How does the "rule of six" limit your sex life...?

[relievedlady]

We've had ups and downs here.

I really enjoyed the time I got to spend with my dc during the last lockdown and me and dh did loads of well needed work to the gardens inc building new fences and re arranging them etc etc. I really cherished the time.

This time I've been off work for a month nearly but dh has worked right through and dc bak at school however it's been nice to be here when they get home and as eldest daughter is currently in gcse mode it's been great to be here to reassure her and help with organising etc and college meetings without it being a max rush.

I've finally nearly finished clearing the loft which hasn't been cleared for ten years and it feels good.

I've also spent more time with my mum which has been lovely.

I've cooked better meals,walked more with my dogs etc and if I'm honest I really don't want to go bak to work next week where it's the busiest time of year and the pressure is immense dim dreading it.

I'm looking online for work from home jobs because I really want to be here more and living on furlough at 80% of basic has so far made me realise I can earn a little less for the compromise of being able to work from home and be more flexible.

[userxx]

How does the "rule of six" limit your sex life...?

Sounds interesting 🤣

[froubylou]

I started uni in September, all online apart from 1 face to face session a week, which has been mainly online as well. I absolutely love it, no travelling in, no mooching round waiting for lectures to start, I don't feel pressures to make friends tho we have all made friends in online chat groups. And I can chose the single rather than group work options as I can say I work at funny times round the dcs.

I also loved having the dcs at home during the first lockdown, we had some disappointments like everyone else, my dd missed prom, gcses etc. But had an amazing spring/summerr, especially once lockdown eased a bit and sports were allowed again, my dcs spent all summer kayaking and riding and our allotment looked like Chelsea flower show.

[OverTheRainbow88]

I like not having to go into nursery at drop off and pick up

[SchadenfreudePersonified]

I love friends NOT hugging me!

I am not a hugger.

I have never been a hugger.

I don't want to be a hugger.

But I have very huggy friends and I don't want to hurt their feelings, so I let them hug me (though I don't hug back).

Now we see each other in the street while out shopping etc, have a socially distanced chat and wave each other goodbye.

It's GREAT!

[Sbeve]

Lockdown has brought us much closer together as a family and I will always treasure this time.

[SchadenfreudePersonified]

@SoupDragon

circumstances sound absolutely dire for a sex life: nearly 10 years together, 3 children under 5 including a 10 week old baby, "rule of six" social limits

How does the "rule of six" limit your sex life...?

Takes at least 7 for a decent orgy.

[Gigheimer]

I’ve got an amazing new job because the first lockdown (which was hell) enabled a situation where I pulled out of the bag some amazing work, which was specific to the Covid crisis, despite it being far more senior as it’s all WFH my house is tidier and I see my kids more. I’m worried if it lifts and everything goes back to normal I’ll be constantly travelling and have no time again.

Flip side it’s fucking constant and I’m falling to pieces for some space.

If I could have have the WFH stay with the occasional bit of local and international travel for the job, my mum and childcare back and the restaurants open to date and have the odd night out I’d be perfectly content.

[sauvignonbonk]

I also like wearing a mask, I’ve always been insecure and the type of person who needs a full face of makeup to feel comfortable even when popping out. So being able to just cover up with a mask has made things easier for me!

[Sbeve]

I agree. Not hugging or shaking hands is GREAT!

Not having visitors just turning up is lovely too.

[Gigheimer]

Oh and the rule of 6 limits my sex life as I’m single and dating isn’t happening!!

[Ace1185]

Bit of a mix here. I came off furlough in August after 5 months been back at work/school since. I'm enjoying the wee boys clubs not being back yet so when I'm in from work now that's me for the evening. No expected family social gatherings. And no parties/concerts etc to organise and endure at work

[corkernewyorker]

Lovely thread. I have been having terrible guilt as this year has actually worked out very well for us and I know how hard it has been for a lot of people. We've tidied up our house and sold it (in 4 weeks!) and have a lovely big house to move into next year. We have saved lots of money so are in a good position to get the bits and pieces required for starting in a new house. The pandemic has been good for both our jobs. We have enjoyed spending time together as a family unit and are much stronger and happier for it.

[SoupDragon]

@Gigheimer

Oh and the rule of 6 limits my sex life as I’m single and dating isn’t happening!!

Do you usually date more than 6 in a group?