Family breaking lockdown rules

[PandemicPalava]

My family are not following the guidelines as they've had enough of it. I'm finding it really difficult.

Mum and sister plus family live together so are in a bubble with my Nan. However my Nan and mum have both had my other sister and cousins in their houses.

I'm so worried for them all. Walks outside would be fine but they're popping round for a cup of tea like there is no lockdown.

I broached it with my Nan earlier and she said her mental health and my cousins are more important than Covid and she'll suffer any consequences, health, legal or financial.

I'm so torn as I don't want anyone falling apart buy equally don't want anyone to fall ill. Nan is 82 and mum has asthma.

I don't know what to do or say. Probably nothing will make any difference and they're all adults. I just think it's insulting to all those struggling that they've just chosen not to bother and are being flippant about it all.

Urgh. Just needed to rant.

What would you all do / say if anything?

@TransplantedScouser do you think these underlying elements make the lockdown hard to bear? What if you get ill and pass it on to someone who works with a nurse who then can't go in and someone's operation or appointment has to be cancelled? It's a knock on effect, though I imagine what you've both been through clouds any social concerns as it's more important to see each other while you can.

I'm so so torn as I kind of get this but with my family they're just bored and decided it doesn't apply to them because it's hard

Honestly? I only care about friends and family. I have no concern or care for someone I don’t know and care nothing about.

I strongly suspect most people are like that but never say it out loud

I wouldn’t say anything. But it’s a very selfish attitude. I’m a teacher so it’s not good to hear that people aren’t following the rules. It puts us in danger and just makes this whole thing last longer. Ignorant really.

@Bathroom12345 I'm shocked too. I honestly didn't think this was what most people thought but it looks like even those who I think are sticking to it probably aren't. I'm stunned

@TransplantedScouser really? Are you serious?! What about your friends and family not getting treated because others have broken the rules?

@Feckers2018 yes, I agree, it makes a mockery of you all and the nurses and doctors killing them selves to keep key services going. Gutted to see the responses on here

Transplanted has said what others are clearly thinking/doing. Its horribly selfish. Infecting people because YOU want to do what you want and dont care about the consequences.

The media never indicate that people are breaking the rules for their own ends. The rates are high in say Liverpool because people in Liverpool are doing what they want and its often their fault. Of course I understand that people might not want to self isolate etc in order to not lose their jobs and to put food on the table but that doesnt seem to be the majority of people who are ignoring the rules certainly looking at the responses on this thread.

Shame on them and dont they realise that if others think the same way the likely hood is that they themselves will end up getting infected by others who couldnt give a stuff! We dont know enough about the virus to know why if affects some badly and others less so.

Selfish selfish buggers!

It's amazing the amount of ppl who have had no history of mh problems suddenly using it as an excuse to see anybody they want.

• im not saying ppl have not developed mh problems. However i believe some ppl are blatantly lying.

@Bathroom12345 completely agree. Valid reasons fair enough but like my family... just bored of it, can't be bothered, want to have fun etc? Awful and selfish

I do wonder if people who want to break lockdown should be allowed to make a Do Not Treat declaration. So, if they test positive for Covid they have declined all treatment, not just for Covid but for any other ailment requiring face to face treatment. Stands until they test negative again.

@Torvean32 I think people are finding it hard and giving up instead of digging deep. Don't get me wrong, I think this is causing first time mental health issues for lots of people, but it strikes me as odd that there are so many people who can't / won't manage a few weeks of less social contact for the good or the population.

My Nan who is 95 has been having counselling for a year for depression yet still wants to stay safe and keep everyone else safe so is limiting contacts which must be so hard. My other Nan is just bored so isn't bothering. Sucks

@GnomeDePlume this then gets into the messy ethical realms of not treating obese people or alcoholics who continue to exacerbate their conditions, but I see where you're coming from. Don't think you can separate it out though. As I said earlier, I suspect everyone breaking it will want to take advantage of the NHS and all positives of the social contract they are in when they are in need, and they will be given it, and affect others in the process

[quote PandemicPalava]@Torvean32 I think people are finding it hard and giving up instead of digging deep. Don't get me wrong, I think this is causing first time mental health issues for lots of people, but it strikes me as odd that there are so many people who can't / won't manage a few weeks of less social contact for the good or the population.

My Nan who is 95 has been having counselling for a year for depression yet still wants to stay safe and keep everyone else safe so is limiting contacts which must be so hard. My other Nan is just bored so isn't bothering. Sucks [/quote]
But it won't be a 'few weeks', it'll be months and months more because the government are loving all this power and control over our lives. Even when there's a vaccine they'll probably find excuses to keep rules in place.

Obesity and alcoholism arent contagious, Covid is.

@GnomeDePlume oh yes thats a good point, hadn't thought of that

@kittensarecute what do you suggest they do instead?

@kittensarecute if everyone really feels like this why isn't there uproar? What aren't you all out there protesting? Is it because like a poster earlier said, you only care about immediate friends and family and have no desire to put this right for everyone else?

[quote PandemicPalava]@kittensarecute what do you suggest they do instead? [/quote]
I don't know. I'm just having a bad day today.

But it won't be a 'few weeks', it'll be months and months more because the government are loving all this power and control over our lives.

This is bull shit.

It'll be months and months more because the longer people don't comply with mask earing, social distancing and keeping their interactions limited the longer it will continue to spread and impact on the NHS.

Until there is a vaccine, and a widely administered one at that. limitations will be in place unless people can stop touching each other.

@kittensarecute the thing is the government do have power to implement laws based on democratic political systems. We can protest, but people aren't. This is what I don't understand at all. Everyone just having quiet cups of tea instead of trying to save people who are at the mercy of people like me, sticking to the rules and refusing to see them

@Tararararara yes! Why can't people see their behaviour is not isolated and impacts the whole damn handling of this pandemic

Oh and it turns out that today's gem from my Nan is 'well I might as well die anyway as I was dying of boredom.' Brilliant

newwnamme:

"I'm not so sure the first lockdown was a blip. I think at first it was shock and awe, people scrambling around for supplies and figuring out what to do about their children, their finances and so on. But quite quickly I think it became about showboating your commitment to saving the nhs by banging on your saucepans on thursday nights. And after not too long, the rules were being bent and twisted here and there. It was around VE day here that the bbqs, driveway drinks and other garden gatherings started in earnest. I stayed at home because I had no choice - for various reasons - but it wasn't done out of any community mindedness on my part and I resented from the off being co-opted into that. It's almost as if the powers that be have come up with a new state religion and decreed that we are now all practising members of the faith."

Great post. I'd add maybe 3 points to it - first, in the UK we were generally coming at it expecting to be victorious at that point in time; 2nd, we were approaching Summer; 3rd, I think that 2 real lines in the sand for group dynamics were Boris Johnson's hospitalisation and then Dominic Cummings.

The only front line that we have that can realistically help here is the current population of healthcare workers and researchers. It would not surprise me greatly if they as individuals will feel as if they cannot give their all and sacrifice their families and lives to their job indefinitely, especially if not realistically supported. That's how many others in all kinds of professions are feeling after all. One person on this thread has described perfectly the 'transmission in houses' situations (we've been told about) that have surfaced in hospital and made 50 little ripple effects on others in the hospital (not all dramatic and fatal). Other threads started by health professionals have also said they are feeling blamed for the growing view that the NHS is weak or unprepared.

It's easy to blame the government but how exactly are we going to fill the gaps if too many of the qualified fighters and their experience are taken out?

I can only think that you will have to tell yourself you can't control anyone else, only your own stuff, and ask/hear about as little as possible.

I would encourage them to keep on top of local area case rates and hospitalisation rates, point out increases where any of them live and encourage a risk-based approach. While cases are low, ok, but look the hospital is filling up - time to take a few weeks break and just do video calls. Also set up lots of video calls, get them all to see that they can literally join in with dinner etc. Talk a lot about how won't be that long until vaccines come, so stay safe until then etc.
It's challenging when some people can't see the link between cause and effect, but small changes can help, good luck.

I think that the older generation have maybe come to terms with their mortality. hence statements like your nan's OP.

It can be hard when people are giving you pressure to see them but it doesn't could like family are doing that to you.