Family breaking lockdown rules

[PandemicPalava]

My family are not following the guidelines as they've had enough of it. I'm finding it really difficult.

Mum and sister plus family live together so are in a bubble with my Nan. However my Nan and mum have both had my other sister and cousins in their houses.

I'm so worried for them all. Walks outside would be fine but they're popping round for a cup of tea like there is no lockdown.

I broached it with my Nan earlier and she said her mental health and my cousins are more important than Covid and she'll suffer any consequences, health, legal or financial.

I'm so torn as I don't want anyone falling apart buy equally don't want anyone to fall ill. Nan is 82 and mum has asthma.

I don't know what to do or say. Probably nothing will make any difference and they're all adults. I just think it's insulting to all those struggling that they've just chosen not to bother and are being flippant about it all.

Urgh. Just needed to rant.

What would you all do / say if anything?

[newwnamme]

Ugh, I sincerely apologise for the lack of paragraphs!

[PandemicPalava]

@newwnamme that's a very interesting way of looking at it. I hadn't considered the range of views on it which is ridiculous as I sit in the grey area on most things. You're right, anyone breaking the rules can't be public about it ... but why? If everyone is so sure they're right, why not all stand up and tell the gov to piss off? Tell other people to piss off? If everyone did, the government couldn't do anything to everyone surely? It seems they're in the majority. Neighbours likely wouldn't report neighbours, family would protect family etc

It looks like the vaccine won't be taken up by almost 50% of people too according to the poles so this will be interesting

[User158340]

I don't get people who think they're so special that the rules don't apply to them.

Emergencies aside.

[ReneeRol]

Leave them to it. They would rather spend their days around each other, enjoying their time together rather than sitting in torturous loneliness out of fear of a disease that is no risk to the younger ones and a possible small risk to your nan. That's her choice.

She knows at her age, she probably doesn't have too long anyway, something is going to kill her and she would rather spend the time she has enjoying the company of people she loves. That's what life is about.

Life is about living, being happy, being around other people, touching other people's lives.

[newwnamme]

It's socially unacceptable to admit that you're not making personal sacrifices for societal gains. You only have to read the threads here to see this in action. But it is surely clear from posts like mine, and experiences like you have had with your family that regardless of what facade people present, they cannot tell us what to feel.

[autumndream]

So fucking what! People are allowed to take responsibility for their own health! Just concentrate on yourself

[GnomeDePlume]

my hunch was that most people are following it to the letter but it looks like my families behaviour is the new norm

Dont forget that this thread isnt all of society.

Practically all of the people I know are following the lockdown requirements.

I dont agree that people should make a choice for themselves because they arent making that choice just for themselevs. They are making the choice for all the people who will have to deal with them if they do get contract Covid.

[PandemicPalava]

@ReneeRol but isn't it also about balancing that with recognising that your actions could contribute towards overwhelming the NHS. Maybe life is about more than fun and doing what you want.

I know it's their choice but we're not isolated and our actions have consequences.

My Nan is much happier seeing people but aren't most people? Nobody said this was an easy thing for anyone to do. It is inconvenient. She is in a bubble with my mum and sister's family so has 4 people she can spend as much time with as she likes, but she's adding people on and it worries me.

She's a very healthy physically active woman but I do worry about her.

I honestly don't know what I think about all of this, but do know that the consensus seems to be that I am in a minority which I really hadn't expected

[PandemicPalava]

@newwnamme very true. It is socially unacceptable to say what you feel and if you don't want to follow the rules and I wish it was more of an open discussion. This has been very interesting

[PandemicPalava]

@autumndream that's just so hard! The whole point of family is to care about them. I'm finding it hard to turn that off or down

[PandemicPalava]

@GnomeDePlume yes! Exactly that! It has a wider impact, it is not an isolated decision and I feel very responsible for everyone in my circle

[kittensarecute]

@Remmy123

They know that covid is blown out of all proportion and want to live their life. It's up to them and nothing to do with you.

This. There's more to life than covid. People are done with all these stupid, draconian rules and I don't blame them.

[ReneeRol]

They're not out partying in large groups and spreading it around. They're in their own bubbles with each other. They're just expanding it a bit.

What balance? Your nan could die of flu, heart attack, stroke, old age at any minute. She's prioritising what's important to her because every second counts. She's not going to waste it catastrophising and losing out on precious time with people important to her. Good for her.

As for the NHS, most hospitals are nearly empty at the moment. The worst possible scenario was predicted when they didn't know what to expect, it never happened and now we know, it won't.

[User158340]

People have got a responsibility to their community to minimise their risk of catching and spreading Covid as much as they feasibly can.

There's a social responsibility here. Not just because Boris says so.

If we all just do what we want then the wards and ICU's are full and hospitals have to choose who to treat and who to leave to die in corridors or at home.

The people who are being sensible and following the rules are subsidising those who feel it's beneath them.

[JS87]

What I find ironic is that the people who think all of the restrictions are blown out of all proportion also talk a lot about the economic and mental health consequences of lockdown; due to businesses being closed and people loosing their jobs. However, the more people continue to mix in large social bubbles the longer businesses will have to stay closed for as lockdowns will be extended due to case numbers not falling.

[AnneElliott]

I think you've got to leave them to it op. Don't join if you don't want to but let them do what they think - they've obviously weighed up the risks.

I lost my aunt in September due to cancer. She was diagnosed 5 weeks before she died but she'd spent the spring and summer alone due to Covid. I do wish I had ignored the rules and spent some time with her. I called and we talked with her outside the window but it wasn't the same.

Her last months were quite lonely and isolating and that upsets me a lot.

[User158340]

@JS87

What I find ironic is that the people who think all of the restrictions are blown out of all proportion also talk a lot about the economic and mental health consequences of lockdown; due to businesses being closed and people loosing their jobs. However, the more people continue to mix in large social bubbles the longer businesses will have to stay closed for as lockdowns will be extended due to case numbers not falling.

And then it'll be large gatherings across the board over Christmas and then people wondering why we're having to lock down again in January.

Unfortunately cause and effect matters. It's a social virus.

Covid doesn't care if you're bored. You're easy prey.

[Flittingaboutagain]

"Is this it? Is this how I'm going to go out? Alone in this room? This is not how I thought I was going to die. Oh my god I'm so scared. Can you check my oxygen, I can't breathe. I wish my mom was here" ~ Covid patient to a Critical Care RN today.

You are doing all you can OP. We have to focus on what we can control though as others have wisely said.

[WingingItSince1973]

So depressing to see how many are just breaking the rules and not giving a thought to how their actions could affect others. Meeting in homes is one of the best ways to spread covid. I wouldnt meet my parents and they are healthy 60 and 70 year olds. My mum still works in a large secondary school and I look after my 5 year old gs after school. We would feel absolutely dreadful if one of us passed the virus onto the other. Just follow the rules for the next few weeks. Think about the larger picture and not just your entitled attitude x

[kittensarecute]

@WingingItSince1973

So depressing to see how many are just breaking the rules and not giving a thought to how their actions could affect others. Meeting in homes is one of the best ways to spread covid. I wouldnt meet my parents and they are healthy 60 and 70 year olds. My mum still works in a large secondary school and I look after my 5 year old gs after school. We would feel absolutely dreadful if one of us passed the virus onto the other. Just follow the rules for the next few weeks. Think about the larger picture and not just your entitled attitude x

I can't do it any more though. I'm sorry but I just don't have the mental strength. I need to see my family.

[HumanFemale1]

@Flittingaboutagain

"Is this it? Is this how I'm going to go out? Alone in this room? This is not how I thought I was going to die. Oh my god I'm so scared. Can you check my oxygen, I can't breathe. I wish my mom was here" ~ Covid patient to a Critical Care RN today.

You are doing all you can OP. We have to focus on what we can control though as others have wisely said.

Oh for fucks sake

[MercyBooth]

I think more people are starting to see the emotional blackmail tactics and the bullying and gaslighting from the Government. Then there is the fact they have been caught not adhering to their own rules AGAIN.
Hardly surprising more people are getting fed up with being taken for mugs.

[OffredOfjune]

@Flittingaboutagain

"Is this it? Is this how I'm going to go out? Alone in this room? This is not how I thought I was going to die. Oh my god I'm so scared. Can you check my oxygen, I can't breathe. I wish my mom was here" ~ Covid patient to a Critical Care RN today.

You are doing all you can OP. We have to focus on what we can control though as others have wisely said.

🙄

[Yummymummy2020]

I don’t blame you being concerned I am the same about family. There are high risk people that could very well end up very ill. And it also makes you feel silly for following the guidelines. As a high risk person I am going to continue to follow them but I totally get your concern!

[StrippedFridge]

Alcoholism in the family. You think they are bad at making good decisions for the future in general. You having serious trouble accepting the decision of other adults on how to live their lives. Have you heard of codependency? I think maybe that's why you are reacting so deeply negatively to their decisions.