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Original poster

Feeling sad about time passing and there still being in a pandemic

180 replies

SadAboutCovid · 05/08/2020 22:45

I was going through the photographs on my phone earlier and I realised it has been six months since my birthday. I remember going out for a meal and discussing with friends the situation in China and we were talking about how if it spread to the UK maybe they would have increased hand sanitiser and move the tables in the restaurant further apart. It was a completely hypothetical conversation, we never really believed it would spread to the UK or if it did it would be easily contained. Even if it did spread, we never anticipated that restaurants would be forced to close along with schools, workplaces, shops etc.

I know it is silly but somehow realising that half of this year of my life has been wasted has just really upset me. It feels like life has been paused and yet time has still carried on passing. Soon Autumn will be on its way and it will be a painful reminder of the amount of time we have been under lockdown.

I have tried to embrace lockdown and at some points I did enjoy it. However gone is the sense of collective "national effort" and the Thursday night clapping with all of your neighbours in the street. Gone is the feeling of support from the government with their regular news conference briefings. Now it just feels sad, endless and hopeless. I have been more cautious than most due to an underlying health condition so I had not ventured out to the shops until last week. However just knowing that outside of my home there was a sense of normalcy with shops and restaurants back open I felt comforted. It wasn't until I stepped foot into a shop myself that I realise that whilst they are open it is in no way normal. What would have been a leisurely day spent looking around shops with a coffee afterwards has now turned into a mission of going into the shop and being as direct and quick as possible. No longer can you share a smile with the cashier or other strangers (or at least a visible smile), instead there is fear and frustration when someone gets too close when walking past. Other people aren't just people anymore, they are also potential hosts of a deadly virus.

I don't know, I am just really struggling with it. Yet I feel guilty for being worried about myself. I feel like I will be shamed for these thoughts and told to get over it, it's "over".

OP posts:
cheeseandhambaguette · 05/08/2020 22:47

Yep and im feeling all of this you’ve really summed it up :(

Tartan333 · 05/08/2020 22:49

I'm feeling this too, just wanted you to know that you are not alone Flowers

Elephanttrunk · 05/08/2020 22:49

I feel the same

Whatafool123 · 05/08/2020 22:54

Yes I agree completely. It is so depressing now.

Pomegranatepompom · 05/08/2020 22:54

I’m so annoyed at losing time, I’m starting to sorry about next years holiday - amongst other things of course- appreciate that’s not a priority, we really miss our holidays, plus rugby, cinema, as well as seeing people ...

PuzzledObserver · 05/08/2020 22:57

If you didn’t feel sad/upset/angry/anxious/fed up at least some of the time, there would be something wrong with you.

Nicknamegoeshere · 05/08/2020 22:58

I hear you. I had a baby end of May and feel like my maternity leave is being pretty much wasted Sad

Wineloffa · 05/08/2020 22:58

I feel like this too. When lockdown eased there was a glimmer of hope that we might slowly find our way back to normality but I really can’t see it now. We are facing into a long dark winter with the virus still hanging over us. It’s grim.

Socialdistancing · 05/08/2020 23:00

Yes to everything you’ve said.
It’s the fact that even ‘normal’ things aren’t normal any more.

mosquitofeast · 05/08/2020 23:01

and we are still right at the beginning of this. SadThere is a long way to go

Mondaymanic · 05/08/2020 23:20

I feel exactly how you do! :(

TheShapeJaper · 05/08/2020 23:24

I feel like the last year of my 30’s has been wasted

kazza446 · 05/08/2020 23:25

Yes, I feel the same. Most of my close family have now had birthdays in lockdown. It’s my son’s birthday tomorrow and we were all planning of having a joint party for everyone. We were so positive it would now all be over. The realisation that this is not going to happen is so depressing. It feels like it’s never ending!! Definitely feeling the brunt of it right now.

runrabbitrunrunrun · 05/08/2020 23:29

You’re complaining about not being able to get your usual coffee. Get a grip will you!!!!!
There’s people who have had they’re cancer treatments postponed because of this!
Have you lost a loved one?
Did you get COVID and have long term side effects?
Did you lose your job?
Did you have to resort to a food bank?
Did you shield the whole time for fear of death?

Lemons1571 · 05/08/2020 23:33

Whitty said in the daily briefing that he’d be surprised if we weren’t in this situation next spring / summer. So I feel I know what we’re looking at. Always good to have low expectations so can’t be too disappointed.

Boris doesn’t help as he masks the real situation/timeline with bullshit psychology “oooh it’ll all be normal in 12 weeks / by October / by Christmas” bollocks.

pandafunfactory · 05/08/2020 23:38

I think you are perfectly right op. You don't need to have lost a loved one to feel a huge sense of loss about this situation.

Ballerinashoes · 05/08/2020 23:44

I was having this exact conversation with my son today.

He is 23 and he had to shield as he could get very ill/die if he got this virus. This weekend one of his friends is having a few people round to his house, and we all know what young ones are like, they will bring more people to the party than they say........and my son wants to go. I’ve pleaded with him to be careful, infact I asked him not to go, but he said “mum, there is no guarantee we are going to find a vaccine for this virus, so I either stay at home indefinitely and waste my life and sit and watch everything pass me by, or I go out and enjoy myself and if I get the virus, I get the virus, but to a chance I’m willing to take because I can’t take staying at home anymore”.

He has done so well with shielding and when he said this I couldn’t argue with him. He has missed out on so much this year so far, was going his first mates holiday etc.

I really fear for him and will be worried sick, but I can see where he coming from as I feel a bit like this myself.

Lemons1571. I didn’t see the daily briefing where Whitty said that, did he say that today? That’s really depressing thinking about that 😢

katy1213 · 05/08/2020 23:47

It does feel like a chunk of the year has vanished and now we're heading ito autumn. But you missed months when shopping, at least for food, was more or less normal - no masks until so quite recently, so of course you could chat and smile. And there's nothing to stop you going for coffee. Only on Mumsnet are people walking in fear!
Some of it is a pain in the arse, I agree - and I do hate having to book in advance for everything. I've an outing booked tomorrow - but it's going to be too hot and I''m too busy - but two weeks ago when I booked, it seemed like a good idea. The one thing I really miss is spontanaity.

Derekhello · 05/08/2020 23:52

You’ve summed it up perfectly. It feels like a bad dream we can’t wake up from. At the start when I woke in the morning for a split second I’d forget what was going on but now as soon as I wake, it’s there 😔

Original poster
SadAboutCovid · 06/08/2020 00:28

@runrabbitrunrunrun

You’re complaining about not being able to get your usual coffee. Get a grip will you!!!!! There’s people who have had they’re cancer treatments postponed because of this! Have you lost a loved one? Did you get COVID and have long term side effects? Did you lose your job? Did you have to resort to a food bank? Did you shield the whole time for fear of death?
I wasn't complaining literally about a lack of coffee, it was just an example of how even little things have been affected and how even the small little treats in life are now gone.

For what it's worth I am unemployed because of the pandemic, had my household income virtually vanish overnight, had important hospital appointments for myself and relatives delayed/affected by COVID-19 and whilst I am not in the shielding category I am in the higher risk group for complications so until last week I had not left the house aside from to go on a walk in the countryside. I haven't seen any friends or family since March.

OP posts:
RhubarbTea · 06/08/2020 00:31

I feel exactly the same. I was going to start a thread about this. It just feels endless right now. Flowers

Original poster
SadAboutCovid · 06/08/2020 00:38

Thank you for all the kind responses, it helps to know that we are all in this together. Flowers

I think the fact it feels never ending is what is hard. The first month or two I kept thinking of things I would do once this is "all over" but it won't be over for a long time. I thought there would be this jubilant end to the pandemic where we could leave all the social distancing and fear behind and reflect on living through a part of history. Instead it is long and drawn out.

OP posts:
ineedaholidaynow · 06/08/2020 00:39

When we had our first virtual birthday party for a friend little did we realise that the rest of the birthdays in our group would be the same as the months have gone on

Excited101 · 06/08/2020 00:40

Yup, totally.

I’m 34, very long term single and all I ever wanted was to be a wife and mother. Probably overdramatically I feel like all this has killed off the tiny shred of hope I had of finding someone. You can’t even hold hands with someone anymore.

CovidSadness · 06/08/2020 01:04

I wasn’t coping very well mentally earlier in the pandemic but was getting a bit less anxious even with the new “normal”. It’s so awful when your own mum is scared of you when you are dropping off shopping or medicine for her.
Then this week it has all got so much worse again, I live in Aberdeen which as you have probably seen on the news has gone into a local lockdown. Due to selfish people cramming into bars and irresponsible business owners everyone here is being restricted again. I don’t care about the hospitality being shut down again but I do care that we can’t visit other people in other homes ( even with SD) my mum who was shielding and was just starting to go out of the house a little has gone back into terrified hiding in her house. We had planned an outdoor family barbecue later this month for my grown up DS’s “special number” birthday when we were also going to celebrate my DH’s birthday, my sisters birthday and my DS’s partners birthday all of which happened during lockdown. Back up plan would have been to have it in our house which is big enough to observe SD. Now we can’t plan to have it cause if the weather is bad on the day we can’t have it inside ( fair chance of wet weather up here) and also we are back to a 5 mile maximum travel distance for leisure. My DH can’t go and visit his mum anymore in her nursing home, visits had restarted.
I really want to cry but am trying to hold it together it all seems so pointless, all the restrictions and sacrifices everyone has made and it’s been undone after a couple of weeks of pubs/ restaurants being reopened.