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Original poster

Feeling sad about time passing and there still being in a pandemic

180 replies

SadAboutCovid · 05/08/2020 22:45

I was going through the photographs on my phone earlier and I realised it has been six months since my birthday. I remember going out for a meal and discussing with friends the situation in China and we were talking about how if it spread to the UK maybe they would have increased hand sanitiser and move the tables in the restaurant further apart. It was a completely hypothetical conversation, we never really believed it would spread to the UK or if it did it would be easily contained. Even if it did spread, we never anticipated that restaurants would be forced to close along with schools, workplaces, shops etc.

I know it is silly but somehow realising that half of this year of my life has been wasted has just really upset me. It feels like life has been paused and yet time has still carried on passing. Soon Autumn will be on its way and it will be a painful reminder of the amount of time we have been under lockdown.

I have tried to embrace lockdown and at some points I did enjoy it. However gone is the sense of collective "national effort" and the Thursday night clapping with all of your neighbours in the street. Gone is the feeling of support from the government with their regular news conference briefings. Now it just feels sad, endless and hopeless. I have been more cautious than most due to an underlying health condition so I had not ventured out to the shops until last week. However just knowing that outside of my home there was a sense of normalcy with shops and restaurants back open I felt comforted. It wasn't until I stepped foot into a shop myself that I realise that whilst they are open it is in no way normal. What would have been a leisurely day spent looking around shops with a coffee afterwards has now turned into a mission of going into the shop and being as direct and quick as possible. No longer can you share a smile with the cashier or other strangers (or at least a visible smile), instead there is fear and frustration when someone gets too close when walking past. Other people aren't just people anymore, they are also potential hosts of a deadly virus.

I don't know, I am just really struggling with it. Yet I feel guilty for being worried about myself. I feel like I will be shamed for these thoughts and told to get over it, it's "over".

OP posts:
onedayinthefuture · 08/08/2020 10:00

I feel very sad for the young. There are so many sports that are still not allowed to be played in any competitive form. Young people who were competing at national level, now they are only allowed to do socially distanced training. Who knows when they will be able to compete properly again?

Kids can't even have birthday parties with their friends, they've missed out on end of term school trips, sports days. There probably won't even be any Christmas plays this year. The list goes on.

Duemarch2021 · 08/08/2020 11:58

Bit later here sorry...but i feel the same way.. it's really starting to make me feel depressed now. At the start, i was furloughed and loved being off work sat in the garden with a cider and felt that it would probably be all over by July. Now im pregnant and back to work and i feel like all i do is work then come and sit in watching tv. Im not enjoying my first pregnancy like i thought i would... going to baby shops with partner family and friends etc ... and i just want to go out for a nice meal again. Ts horrible :( xxx

labyrinthloafer · 08/08/2020 12:19

@onedayinthefuture

I was thinking about sport because the Olympics are in doubt even for next year I read. They will be very scared to catch it I expect because as a peak athlete even minor lung damage would wreck a career.

AgentCooper · 08/08/2020 12:29

@SnuggyBuggy

But your alive !!!

I was alive before this crap. Why the hell should I be grateful for that? I've gained nothing and lost loads in this.

@SnuggyBuggy bang on. Thank you.
Defenbaker · 08/08/2020 13:09

labyrinthloafer posted:

"I'm really tired of being lectured by people during this pandemic, the implication is if I don't see it exactly the same way as them then I just need more information.

I can simultaneously feel sad something has happened and understand there are people worse off too. "

@labyrinthloafer I'm sorry, I didn't mean it to come across as lecturing you (or anyone else). I was just recalling a post in the early days of the virus, when someone was criticising the govt, saying "the bastards are going for herd immunity", as though it was a brutal policy, when it's actually the desired outcome.

The second part of my post wasn't aimed at you, it was just my rambling way of saying that I'm grateful to be living in the UK, rather than a poverty sticken country where the crisis is totally overwhwelming the population.

@Aridane I agree, the huge losses in care homes were appalling and more should have been done to support the care home sector and all those vulnerable residents.

Brew and Flowers to everyone struggling. It's totally understandable to feel sad and anxious about this awful pandemic.

labyrinthloafer · 08/08/2020 13:32

Thanks, don't worry @Defenbaker

One of the worst things about this bloody pandemic is the arguing. I'm tired today. I want to go back to arguing about Brexit Grin

Flowers all round

winniestone37 · 08/08/2020 13:48

@runrabbitrunrunrun you’re an idiot. You’ve responded with a slightly hysterical narrative Of comparative suffering. You Completely failed to understand the OP’s sentiments. Or give them any real thought. You’re not a paragon of virtue, you’re not empathetic. You’re narcissistic and your response is childish.

TOFO1965 · 08/08/2020 13:48

I feel exactly this. It’s just all so horrible, I hate fearing everyone. And I really do fear them, everyone is potentially a bag of virus. It’s a ghastly time, with no end in sight.

winniestone37 · 08/08/2020 13:49

Op I hear you and feel the same.

TOFO1965 · 08/08/2020 13:49

[quote winniestone37]@runrabbitrunrunrun you’re an idiot. You’ve responded with a slightly hysterical narrative Of comparative suffering. You Completely failed to understand the OP’s sentiments. Or give them any real thought. You’re not a paragon of virtue, you’re not empathetic. You’re narcissistic and your response is childish.[/quote]
Spot on!

Tubs11 · 08/08/2020 14:31

@dinosauratemydaffodils i get it, I really do. Sit with your pain for a while, pick yourself up and find a new normal, it does help. I was weeks away from burnt out and breakdown and disconnecting from the old life to a new one has brought me great relief. Doesn't mean there are bad/sad days, there are, but they are less than before. I wish you well.

Feminist10101 · 08/08/2020 14:39

I know it is silly but somehow realising that half of this year of my life has been wasted has just really upset me. It feels like life has been paused and yet time has still carried on passing. Soon Autumn will be on its way and it will be a painful reminder of the amount of time we have been under lockdown.

I haven’t RTFT but WW2 lasted 5 years. People lived in railway tunnels in bunk beds with no privacy with only what they could carry for 5 years.

Just adding some perspective.

SnakesOrLadders · 08/08/2020 14:44

Completely agree op. I’m struggling now more than when we were in full lockdown it feels like events and opportunities are slipping by.
Mentally during lockdown I found it easier in a sense that we were doing something that would help resolve this horrible situation but not it feels relentless.
The economic fall out is hard I know 3 people who have now lost their jobs and many more who are worried sick.
This year is wiped out but I now feel next year will be the same feels never ending.

pigsDOfly · 08/08/2020 14:59

I haven't RTFT but WW2 lasted 5 years. People living in railway tunnels in bunk beds with no privacy with only what they could carry for 5 years.

Life doesn't work like that. Feminist10101

Most people don't look at other people lives and think 'well they've having/had it worse, so I should be fine with the shit I'm having to deal with.'

An extremely large percentage of my exh family was wiped out in that war in concentration camps where they were starved, beaten and finally gassed, along with millions of others.

I imagine those millions would have given anything to have been able to have bedded down in railway tunnels knowing that they had a chance of surviving in relative safety.

According to your idea of 'perspective' those people in their railway tunnels should have been bloody grateful that they were so fortunate.

Somehow I suspect they didn't think like you and had a jolly good moan about it every single time it happened.

Dinosauratemydaffodils · 08/08/2020 17:21

pick yourself up and find a new normal, it does help

I can't do that. This existence is so awful and so triggering (thanks to bloody masks I'm constantly thinking about the trauma which led to my inability to wear one) that I can't see a single positive in it. I've lost everything that made my life worthwhile, can't even go to a museum now. The hopes I had for the future and my return to work...all gone because this has wiped out years of therapy. I'm hanging on by my finger tips for my kids but if things don't improve soon, I'm done.

KitKatastrophe · 08/08/2020 17:54

I haven’t RTFT but WW2 lasted 5 years. People lived in railway tunnels in bunk beds with no privacy with only what they could carry for5 years.

The fact that some people have or had it worse doesnt make the current situation any better. If someone's parent passed away would you say "why are you complaining, your other parent is still alive"? Or someone is in an accident and loses a limb "why are you complaining, a friend of mine is paralysed". That's not how life works. People can be unhappy and complain about their own situation whilst acknowledging it could be worse.

Tubs11 · 08/08/2020 18:29

@Dinosauratemydaffodils is there anyone professionally you can open up to? How old are your kids? Can you open to them or another family member? I'm really concerned for your welfare.

Twattergy · 08/08/2020 19:30

@duemarch2021 why can't you go out for a lovely meal?

Bizawit · 08/08/2020 19:37

I hear you OP. I feel the same. Flowers

Bizawit · 08/08/2020 19:41

@Aridane

If you think life is tough here, spare a thought for those people living in countries where patients are getting turned away from hospitals in droves

Like the 20,000 left to die in care homes?

The difference is it didn’t need to happen hear. It was a policy choice. Angry
Bizawit · 08/08/2020 19:41

*here

Duemarch2021 · 08/08/2020 22:02

Well I suppose we can at this moment now.. as long as we book a slot and wear masks .. it's just not as enjoyable. Im aware people have been through a lot worse.. losing family members etc.. i worry for my mum and dad as they are vulnerable. But my point is.. everything feels so miserable and you cant just simply go anywhere you wish and have a nice time anymore. I was just agreeing with OP and explaining that this is not how I imagined my first pregnancy to be x

IncrediblySadToo · 09/08/2020 00:41

@Feminist10101

I know it is silly but somehow realising that half of this year of my life has been wasted has just really upset me. It feels like life has been paused and yet time has still carried on passing. Soon Autumn will be on its way and it will be a painful reminder of the amount of time we have been under lockdown.

I haven’t RTFT but WW2 lasted 5 years. People lived in railway tunnels in bunk beds with no privacy with only what they could carry for 5 years.

Just adding some perspective.

I haven’t RTFT but WW2 lasted 5 years. People lived in railway tunnels in bunk beds with no privacy with only what they could carry for 5 years

Well maybe you should have the decency to READ what people have written, before wading in, in your size 10's, telling them they're wrong

Just a thought....

& it's not 'perspective' - it's an empathy bypass

RAOK · 09/08/2020 00:52

I feel the same. I did not make the link between what was happening in China and this situation for one second. A lockdown, school and restaurant closures, compulsory mask wearing, shielding etc because of a pandemic was beyond my compression and I still struggle to grasp the magnitude of it all. I feel stuck on March 23, even though I know it’s nearly autumn. I miss hearing people fall out of taxis in the early hours at the weekend who have clearly had a fun night and people embracing when they meet in cafes.

mosquitofeast · 09/08/2020 01:00

@Feminist10101

I know it is silly but somehow realising that half of this year of my life has been wasted has just really upset me. It feels like life has been paused and yet time has still carried on passing. Soon Autumn will be on its way and it will be a painful reminder of the amount of time we have been under lockdown.

I haven’t RTFT but WW2 lasted 5 years. People lived in railway tunnels in bunk beds with no privacy with only what they could carry for 5 years.

Just adding some perspective.

This may well drag on for 5 years. What is your point?