Feeling sad about time passing and there still being in a pandemic

[SadAboutCovid]

I was going through the photographs on my phone earlier and I realised it has been six months since my birthday. I remember going out for a meal and discussing with friends the situation in China and we were talking about how if it spread to the UK maybe they would have increased hand sanitiser and move the tables in the restaurant further apart. It was a completely hypothetical conversation, we never really believed it would spread to the UK or if it did it would be easily contained. Even if it did spread, we never anticipated that restaurants would be forced to close along with schools, workplaces, shops etc.

I know it is silly but somehow realising that half of this year of my life has been wasted has just really upset me. It feels like life has been paused and yet time has still carried on passing. Soon Autumn will be on its way and it will be a painful reminder of the amount of time we have been under lockdown.

I have tried to embrace lockdown and at some points I did enjoy it. However gone is the sense of collective "national effort" and the Thursday night clapping with all of your neighbours in the street. Gone is the feeling of support from the government with their regular news conference briefings. Now it just feels sad, endless and hopeless. I have been more cautious than most due to an underlying health condition so I had not ventured out to the shops until last week. However just knowing that outside of my home there was a sense of normalcy with shops and restaurants back open I felt comforted. It wasn't until I stepped foot into a shop myself that I realise that whilst they are open it is in no way normal. What would have been a leisurely day spent looking around shops with a coffee afterwards has now turned into a mission of going into the shop and being as direct and quick as possible. No longer can you share a smile with the cashier or other strangers (or at least a visible smile), instead there is fear and frustration when someone gets too close when walking past. Other people aren't just people anymore, they are also potential hosts of a deadly virus.

I don't know, I am just really struggling with it. Yet I feel guilty for being worried about myself. I feel like I will be shamed for these thoughts and told to get over it, it's "over".

I’m feeling similar but opposite. Similar in terms of how much time has passed and what a waste it has been.

But opposite in the sense that my anxiety has gotten worse over the lockdown. I was out of work and I was due to start a new job this week but the thought of leaving the house, entering the 9-5 world again, being tied to a job they ultimately I don’t have much say in (having to schlep to an office and be accountable) has really tipped me over the edge. As lockdown has pretty much ended I just feel there is this huge pressure to go back to normal and I’ve realised I never fit into the normal, even post pandemic I was anxiety ridden daily about work, and I’m physically effected by the fact I have to go back to what is my hell.

This pandemic has ruined a lot of people’s mental health.

Went out for a walk yesterday and bumped into some near neighbours both with health concerns but not shielding.

They said they feel more unhappy now that when we were in lockdown. Other people taking more risks, not socially distancing any more and the lack of a feeling of solidarity when everybody had bad hair whereas now it's only the ones that are scared to return to the hairdressers.

It's crap, isn't it. Know you're not alone in feeling this way, OP.

I'm looking for the positives to have come out of the situation, mainly in regards to how I plan to change my life in the future.

I'm sad that it feels we're "no longer in it together" and it really annoys me when I see people deliberately flouting SD etc. So many people are "me, me, me" and to hell with collective responsibility to keep the more vulnerable safe.

I'm an introvert anyway, so I've not missed socialising, but I am a big traveler, and I feel like I've had my wings clipped. I'm not complaining, but it does feel like there's nothing to look forward to.

It's very depressing. I was already unhappy with lots of things, but had so many plans to improve things this year. Now I can't do much at all but sit at home and mope! I don't think things will actually be normal until there's a vaccine now. I hope that its soon, but it'll be at least a year of life wasted.

It's utterly, utterly rubbish. I was 40 the weekend before we went into lockdown on the Monday so all of my 40's so far have been spent like this!

I'm holding on to the hope that when the DC go back to school in September (they've been at home since my birthday!) things will start to feel a little better.

Hi, thought I'd join in as I feel very much the same. I have an 18 year old DD and it breaks my heart to see how much she has lost - A levels, first holiday with friends, our last family holiday and facing a university experience that is significantly less than it would have been. And yes, before anyone shouts at me,I know it's worse for those who have been seriously ill, died or know someone who has. But we all have to live and experience our own lives, and our emotional reactions are valid. My DD has been brilliant throughout, but it's tough on her. As she says, she will never again be 18, on the cusp of starting adult life again. As others have said, I miss the simple pleasures in life -swimming (my pool is still not open), relaxed shopping and just being able to go somewhere when we want, confident cafe and toilet will be available! I know it will end, and am quite optimistic that there will be a vaccine, but I still think we have at least another year to 18 months of this. It's tough.

If I think to hard about what is actually happening then I just want to start crying, so i cope best by not thinking about it too much. But yes, I get how you feel OP. My dc have missed out on so much, and today is particularly hard. Ds(11) is meant to be off on a Mediterranean cruise today with my dparents to celebrate him starting secondary. Dd(16) is also meant to be doing the ncs programme and spending the week at uni halls with her friends after doing her gcses. All cancelled with no clue if they will ever go ahead. I havent seen my nan for 9months, my parents only allow us in their garden. I cannot believe the world is like this now. We are trying to keep some normality going to keep us sane - day trips, meals out, theme parks etc, but things are anything but normal when you look around tesco and just seen everyone with a facemask (I have no issues with facemask wearing, 100% support it, but it still makes me sad that this is what life has come too).
The beginning seemed so much more like a community pulling together as well with the clapping, and the TV shows like that comic relief one and disney sing a long etc. Now there just seems like nothing to look forward too

I agree with the poster above who said how things are now is worse than lockdown. During lockdown we thought if stayed at home things would be better afterwards, but they are not. There is pressure to start doing things that are only going to spread the virus more (eating and drinking inside restaurants and bars, going on holiday) but the virus is still here, DC seem likely to be missing more of their education in the autumn/winter after no school for 6 months and their exam results being decided by a faceless system that seems to ludicrously think their year 6 SATs are relevant in some way after 5 years of learning, growing and hard work for nothing.
I wish my family had moved abroad after the first Brexit vote, most of the countries we might have been interested in have handled Covid-19 better and I feel trapped in this country where most people voted for this incompetent government.

@mosquitofeast

and we are still right at the beginning of this. There is a long way to go

Please no....😢😢

@SadAboutCovid I just want to come back and thank you again for starting this thread, reading other peoples experiences have made me feel less alone and less crazy. It is hard when a lot of people on social media are not social distancing or whatever, and just seem pretty chill. It makes you feel a bit nuts for being sad.

I'd love it if this could turn into a support thread where it's okay to be sad and we can share resources to help us through this time. I've bookmarked the Ted talk to watch later, thank you to whoever posted it.

I agree, it is good to know we are not alone in feeling so sad.
I am desperately sad about what my family and this country are going through. Sometimes if it wasn't for the fact my DC rely on me, I do wonder if it's worth living through.
But I channel my sadness in to anger. I can get very angry at this government, and some of the people in this country.
It's also worse now that it's more unequal, as someone else said. Those who've had Covid or think they have are back to normal knowing they beat it once and will be fine. Then there are people who don't have dependents or know they are low-risk, including the young, who seem happy to carry on as before. But for anyone who wants to keep things safe and as free of risk as possible, we are being cut off and left out, seemingly without end.

I didn’t know they were predicting we will still be like this next spring / summer. 😢. I had in my head that by next spring it will be better and by the summer normality will be back. How depressing.

Those who've had Covid or think they have are back to normal knowing they beat it once and will be fine this is risky given how little we know about immunity etc. I hope people are careful

@runrabbitrunrunrun you've completely missed the point of OPs post and are looking at it too literally.

I suppose you live your life not complaining about a long queue/spilt drink/weather because of course there are always worse things going on 🙄 it doesn't stop the small stuff still being annoying/upsetting.

I wouldn't say to my sister, oh sorry you were cheated on but stop moaning because it could be worse, your husband could have died!

OP you've literally described my feelings this last few weeks down to a tee! I couldn't have written it better myself.

Praying one day soon life will return to normal 🤞🏻❤️

"Going back to normal will cause increasing illness and ultimately death for some."

Not going back to normal will cause increasing illness and ultimately death for others. While around 46,000 deaths have been attributed to Covid and mourned with much fanfare, in the same period over 200,000 people have died, largely unremarked and with those who loved them unable to mark their passing normally. Some of those will have died as a result of the country's efforts to avoid some Covid deaths.

A year 12 at my local school killed himself because he couldn't cope with the isolation. Thousands of people have died at home from heart attacks which may well have been treatable if they had dared to call an ambulance. Someone I love has had his cancer treatment suspended and the symptoms are back. I'm sure he's not the only one, and Karol Sikora thinks the same.

People were scared to call an ambulance because there was so much COVID around @amicissimma. You can get rid of social distancing, facemasks and restrictions and you still wont be "back to normal " because you'll still be in the middle of a fucking pandemic - and the more cases rise the more people will die of all sorts of things.

That's what makes this sad. For the time being normal is not obtainable.

I just feel I’m in my late 40s already, life flies past, and I am just not interested in living my already limited precious time on this planet in this way. Hurry up vaccine

Yes I feel completely the same OP. Thank you for starting this thread. I have read everyone's stories and can relate to every single person. I feel like I can't even speak about how shit this is in real life as I don't want to bring others down and i feel an obligation to be positive. Inside though I'm still in shock about how radically our lives have changed (personally we've not had great losses like a loss of a relative or a job). We don't have much of a social life generally and are living hand to mouth but still just the knowledge that we could do things if we saved up and the small things we could afford we now can't do or they don't feel the same if we do then. Around January time my mum, ds and I went to a local theatre to see "Georges marvellous medicine". My DS (7) has never been to the theatre before (apart from a panto) and it just seemed like a lovely thing to do now that ds is getting a bit older. Now suddenly all these new possibilities have been stripped away. My kids have all suffered as well. 3 ds 7 and under. I'm worried for their childhood. All the playdates have stopped. We meet up in the parks etc with friends, but I miss casually inviting the kids friends over for tea after school and them playing in their bedroom together. I'm sick of hand washing and trying to keep away from people. I'm still doing this obviously but it's just shite. I actually miss the hustle and bustle of a normal busy supermarket or street when people were getting in each other's way.

Updating my post I spoke to my mum on the phone earlier, she started crying she is so upset about us having to take such a step back here in Aberdeen. How can such selfish people take away the little bit of hope that an eighty year old woman had. She’s now talking about giving up her house and going into sheltered housing. Just because all the stress of Covid has made her ill heath and mild forgetfulness so much worse. She used to do her own shopping, meet up with a friend for coffee and have a weekly hairdressing appointment and was an active grandma and great grandma and now this.
I hate what this virus has done to vulnerable people.
💕 To everyone on this thread who is struggling.

Life is only "wasted" if you think of it like that. Why not focus on what you can do, rather than what you can't? There's no point moping scout not being able to go for dinner or a film or a spin class. Things are what they are. You just have to find other endeavours and remain positive.

@runrabbitrunrunrun

You’re complaining about not being able to get your usual coffee. Get a grip will you!!!!! There’s people who have had they’re cancer treatments postponed because of this! Have you lost a loved one? Did you get COVID and have long term side effects? Did you lose your job? Did you have to resort to a food bank? Did you shield the whole time for fear of death?

No need to be so unkind.

Just because other people have it worse, doesn't mean that OP can't be sad. It's not a fricking competition of 'who's the most miserable?'.

Oh and by the way, I shielded completely alone in solitary confinement for months in an area where I knew no one and it was one of the most psychologically testing times I've been through. I didn't lose my job, get covid or use a food bank. Does that mean my depression was invalid?

Your logic is faulty.

Same, I feel like I’ve wasted a year of my early 20s. My entire life feels on hold

Solidarity here! I'm not in the UK, and we've just gone back into lockdown here.
Three of my young AC have lost their jobs. One of them has had to move back in with us as a result.
I'm missing two little GC birthdays. My husband has a "big" birthday next week without family or friends - and he has parents in their 90s in the UK who of course we can't get to. He's very worried about them.
It's really getting me down today. I'm not working due to chronic health issues whilst my DH is slaving away at the dining room table fielding calls and meetings all day while I try to keep the dogs quiet and listen to the stress he's under. Just feels like there's nothing to look forward to, does there? And I think that's what we normally do in difficult times, try to have a distraction to look forward to to cheer us up.
Very glum today. It's back to square one here.

The competitive misery brigade are so boring, everyone has their own feelings and experiences and I thought this was a forum to express those.

I hear you OP, am feeling about as low as I ever have, job has gone due to virus and my health is shot to pieces, autumn and winter fast approaching which signals more of the same x 20, it all feels hopeless at times and we are helpless in this situation