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Original poster

Feeling sad about time passing and there still being in a pandemic

180 replies

SadAboutCovid · 05/08/2020 22:45

I was going through the photographs on my phone earlier and I realised it has been six months since my birthday. I remember going out for a meal and discussing with friends the situation in China and we were talking about how if it spread to the UK maybe they would have increased hand sanitiser and move the tables in the restaurant further apart. It was a completely hypothetical conversation, we never really believed it would spread to the UK or if it did it would be easily contained. Even if it did spread, we never anticipated that restaurants would be forced to close along with schools, workplaces, shops etc.

I know it is silly but somehow realising that half of this year of my life has been wasted has just really upset me. It feels like life has been paused and yet time has still carried on passing. Soon Autumn will be on its way and it will be a painful reminder of the amount of time we have been under lockdown.

I have tried to embrace lockdown and at some points I did enjoy it. However gone is the sense of collective "national effort" and the Thursday night clapping with all of your neighbours in the street. Gone is the feeling of support from the government with their regular news conference briefings. Now it just feels sad, endless and hopeless. I have been more cautious than most due to an underlying health condition so I had not ventured out to the shops until last week. However just knowing that outside of my home there was a sense of normalcy with shops and restaurants back open I felt comforted. It wasn't until I stepped foot into a shop myself that I realise that whilst they are open it is in no way normal. What would have been a leisurely day spent looking around shops with a coffee afterwards has now turned into a mission of going into the shop and being as direct and quick as possible. No longer can you share a smile with the cashier or other strangers (or at least a visible smile), instead there is fear and frustration when someone gets too close when walking past. Other people aren't just people anymore, they are also potential hosts of a deadly virus.

I don't know, I am just really struggling with it. Yet I feel guilty for being worried about myself. I feel like I will be shamed for these thoughts and told to get over it, it's "over".

OP posts:
Netflixbinge · 07/08/2020 14:57

This thread shows one thing, everyone is having a hard time for different reasons.
It's a reminder that when we're kind to a stranger, it could mean all the difference that day.
I need to remember this.

KPCooper · 07/08/2020 17:40

@SadAboutCovid You have summed up how I reckon many of us are feeling. Few of us could have predicted the UK would be hit so hard. Let's hope we can all recover from it though those poor souls who have suffered and lost loved ones will live the hell forever :(

MarshaBradyo · 07/08/2020 17:44

It is hard.

It’s hard to look at photos a year ago and see how carefree we were. In fact in February I stayed away in a hotel and we had little clue.

It’ll pass at some point but there’s no doubt it’s dragging on.

Realitysucks · 07/08/2020 17:46

I think a lot of people feel like this. I feel cheated, I’ve worked for the past 18 years without a break and I started my maternity in March. I feel like I’ve missed so much and now stuck home with a 4 month old who hasn’t seen anyone except me and his dad!

cherish123 · 07/08/2020 17:47

I agree. There is so much I took for granted. Seems ages since we did normal things. I know should not complain as I have been paid, have a lovely family, house and are happy but I just long for normality.

WouldBeGood · 07/08/2020 17:50

I agree too @SadAboutCovid

nannykatherine · 07/08/2020 18:06

But your alive !!!

MyWitzEnd · 07/08/2020 18:10

@runrabbitrunrunrun

You’re complaining about not being able to get your usual coffee. Get a grip will you!!!!! There’s people who have had they’re cancer treatments postponed because of this! Have you lost a loved one? Did you get COVID and have long term side effects? Did you lose your job? Did you have to resort to a food bank? Did you shield the whole time for fear of death?
Yep!
Ken1976 · 07/08/2020 18:10

I’ve expected the virus to hang about for at least 18 months or at least until we have a good vaccine against it .

Defenbaker · 07/08/2020 18:10

It's a sad situation, no doubt about it, but the end is in sight. Even with no vaccine, we would eventually develop herd immunity, in a year or two. That's a long time, but people and businesses are finding ways to adapt, so life carries on, albeit in a more restricted way.

Also, several of the vaccine trials are looking promising, so I think there will be a vaccine by next spring. So, maybe in 6 months things will look very different.

TurtleTortoise · 07/08/2020 18:12

@nannykatherine

But your alive !!!
...and wishing I was dead more with each passing day. Can some people really not understand that some things, some life situations are worse than death? I don't know when I can see my family again. I've probably now missed my chance to have children. The children in my life who mattered to me and provided some comfort against the anguish of childlessness are now gone, separated til god knows when and they are growing up without me whilst I see parent struggle alone and I'm not allowed to help! Any fun plans for the summer were taken away. My past is bleak and I was finally recovering and having a shot at life and it's all been taken away. It's vital time that isn't coming back. I don't know how to do it much longer.
Pliudev · 07/08/2020 18:22

I'm really sorry to say that I think this is how life will be for the (un)foreseeable future. The initial response, the clapping, the mass of upbeat online activities etc. were never going to last. Hard as it is, we all have to adjust our expectations and find the best way to cope. I'm quite old and am beginning to think this is how the rest of my life will pan out. I hope not because I'm longing to see my family who all live far away. Stay strong op.

happybunny03 · 07/08/2020 18:44

I’m definitely worried about this been a never ending situation. I’m missing my old life too - shopping, going for coffee, cinema, mum & baby groups, eating out, holidays etc without all the drama. I’m really keeping my fingers crossed the Oxford phase 3 vaccine trials are a success. An accessible vaccine will hopefully get things back normal (although air travel may never recover and I’m in favour of people working from home the majority of the week if that’s what they prefer)

fastnfurious · 07/08/2020 18:58

I feel the same, I think the knock on effects for our children are terrible. Missing education, missing school milestones from school that generation’s previous experienced, missing friends and family... my bouncy, bubbly, social and happy 11 yr old has turned into a recluse who doesn’t want to do anything but lay in bed. Even in this lovely weather where she would usualLy be begging to play outside in the paddling pool, she gets moody and angry

Dinosauratemydaffodils · 07/08/2020 19:03

But your alive !!!

I wish I wasn't. I can't think of a single positive about my life right now. I don't have the strength or desire to rebuild it again.

Clearaschristal · 07/08/2020 19:24

Yes, I feel the same too. Oh dear!!!

Tubs11 · 07/08/2020 19:52

I felt a bit like that when everything opened back up and realised things would not be the same so have changed tack and created a new normal. We've recreated festivals and movie nights in our garden, several hobbies on the go as well as themed date nights from local businesses. I no longer go to shops, that's all done online and with local suppliers to support their business. Halloween and Christmas will be like someone on speed this year with all the purchases. I've also bought a massage chair and currently looking at an outdoor spa (£350). I'm lucky we have the space for all these things but being creative and mentally checking out of covid has done wonders from my mental health. One of my favourite things I've done has been paint by numbers and it's not that expensive, I'm currently doing ones for family back home and its so therapeutic and makes me feel connected to home

labyrinthloafer · 07/08/2020 19:55

Please don't talk about herd immunity, we can't get there without awful impacts.

kennycat · 07/08/2020 20:18

You explained that all really well OP. Life feels a bit Just boring now doesn’t it? Nothing is much fun. It’s all kind of returning to normal but really not normal at all.

FelicisNox · 07/08/2020 20:25

I can't decide how I feel, mostly I'm fine as I needed a pause button to reassess my life.

There have been difficulties such as working frontline and missing my family but generally I have benefitted hugely both personally and financially so I find it hard to relate.

Are you alone? No way. I spoke to my mum who has been shielding since March and she's really had enough so we've had a chat about her and dad joining our bubble but my dad is full on paranoid so I'm not sure what will happen if they can't agree.... he went mad when she went out to get her hair done for the 1st time since Feb so I don't fancy her chances.

Dinosauratemydaffodils · 07/08/2020 20:30

I felt a bit like that when everything opened back up and realised things would not be the same so have changed tack and created a new normal.

And that's brilliant for you but I don't want a new normal, I want the perfect life I had in February and that I fought very hard for after some exceedingly traumatic events.

I was creative, I've made a quilt, painted pictures, done various crafts with my dc including Bob the 5 foot cardboard robot and reorganised half the house. It's not helped my mental health at all. I'm not sure how to express how angry and bitter I am at losing this year when I've already essentially a large chunk of the last 20 years to trauma.

Legoandloldolls · 07/08/2020 20:30

I have no faith in a vaccine anytime soon. I worked briefly in medical research.

Life definitely is rather poop atm. I too think this is it for the foreseeable.

In my mind I have no long term.plans and not much too look forward to.

I think we have to grab what we can, while we can. I'm trying to pack in as much as I can before things start to shut down again. I'm also trying to invest as much as I can in making the house somewhere pleasant to be confined in.

I have lost track of the rules but I have seen my mum, my best friends and my sister and will see who ever I am allowed to while I can.

I dont get the whole "but at least your still alive!" Arguement. It's such a very low bar for happiness. Most people need more that just drawing breath for a meaningful life with purpose.

WarmthAndDepth · 07/08/2020 20:33

I hear what you're saying, OP. I can't quite believe where we are.
But then I look at forecasting for the climate in the coming few decades, and realise our current predicament will be dwarfed by what's coming over the hill. Then my relatively small personal sacrifices of mask-wearing and cancelling trip to see family abroad for first time in 4 years (and saying this as someone whose close family member died of Covid in March, and whose career has been irrevocably impacted) seem much more bearable, because what's ahead doesn't bear thinking about.

AgentCooper · 07/08/2020 20:36

It’s the little things that make life more than just surviving that we’re missing. I know I am. I would so love to be going into work, wearing nice clothes, reading on the bus, going to the gym at lunchtime, laughing with my colleagues, being someone other than mummy for a while. And I’d love to take my DS to the transport museum. None of this is tragic but these are the things that subtly give life a bit of sparkle and variety and fuck, it’s ok to feel sad about not having them right now.

HoneyNutLoop · 07/08/2020 20:36

I feel you. I‘m early 40’s, have shielded with my family since March, my daughter has missed year 6, my son much of 9. I feel like they have sacrificed so much because of me. I am desperate to get back to normal.
I’m also a teacher based in the North West where restrictions are being tightened...I’m due back in school in September with no social distancing...I’m terrified, especially having lost my mum at a similar age...I don’t want that for my kids. COVID sucks