God id love a day off.

[Wingsofadragonfly85]

My children are driving me mad. I’m at the point where I really really wish I hadn’t had them. I’ve got a 4 year old and an 11 year old with SEN.
Dh is at work four days a week and now playing golf the remaining day and on a Saturday.
I am shattered. I have started to resent the dc. Ds has adhd as part of the Sen as he does not stop. He doesn’t sleep particularly well and then he’s on the go all day. Dd is easier but even she is driving me crazy. Clearly I’ve got no childcare so I’ve got no option and I know a lot of people are in similar situations but just a few hours to myself sounds like heaven.

Sounds very hard for you, sending sympathy. The first thing that jumped out at me is that your husband is out of the house 6 days a week - 2 of these to play golf? No wonder you feel that you need a day (or a month) off.

I would make the one day he is at home per week your day off. Get out of the house for the full day to refresh and recharge. If you are managing the children mostly on your own for 6 days out of 7, it's entirely possible for your husband to manage 1.

Start this weekend.

You poor love. I think you need a word with your DH. Maybe he could play golf on alternate Saturdays and you get a day off?

I think your DH needs to stop being so bloody selfish.
He plays golf 2 days a week?? Outrageous

Your DH is a selfish wanker.

Your husband needs to stop playing golf and start supporting you

Make to tomorrow you day off.
Could you pack a picnic and go for a long walk along the coast or to a local beauty spot/park?
If the weather is bad and you would prefer to stay indoors could you hold up in your room with a good book, chocolate and a 'do not disturb' sign? Have a long chilled bath and remind DC that Dad's in charge today.

He says my time off is all the time - with the children.
We’ve tried meeting friends now we are able but de won’t socially distance and he demands my attention all the time. I don’t get a conversation. I’ve had them non stop since lockdown started about fifty years ago, apart from two trips to Tesco express. Actually no, one. Dd insisted on accompanying me on one. One trip.
Dd is up at 7am and ds doesn’t go to sleep until gone 10pm. It’s a long day.

Your dh is selfish. Why does he get a couple of days a week to have time to himself doing something he obviously enjoys?

Your DH is dick

I feel close to breaking point if I’m honest.
I’m snappy and short tempered and it isn’t their fault.
I suggested perhaps that I could go out on my own tomorrow afternoon but dh says I get to do what I want all week when he’s at work and Sunday is family time.

Get up early one morning when he thinks he’s going golfing and go out for the day.

Your husband is a monstrous cunt. Show him that if you like.

Ahhh that old chestnut “your time off”. Poor excuse from your husband!!

Sit him down and tell him your exhausted and you need a break

Yeah Coronavirus isn't your problem here. You're married to an idiot Sorry, OP

"He says my time off is all the time - with the children."

What's your response when he tells u this? There's no way I'd accept being told that. Children are relentless and I'd assert yourself with him until he steps up with his parenting and gives you a break.

It should never have reached the stage where he's routinely playing golf twice a week in the first place. Normal dads are not like this and it sounds like he's been getting away with a lot.

I hope things improve soon, sounds like hell

You need to get resentful at your DH not your DC. And really fucking angry. What a selfish dick. Why did you ask him? Just tell him. guessing he didnt ask for your permission to go out?
Do you work at all OP?
If hes normally this selfish I think I'd want to separate.
It's really tough. Are your kids reception age and year 6? Or older one first year of high school?

"I suggested perhaps that I could go out on my own tomorrow afternoon but dh says I get to do what I want all week when he’s at work and Sunday is family time."

"Suggesting" is far too gentle, he is walking all over you.

I think the resentment should like with your husband not your kids.

No I don’t work but I had been looking for work to start in September - now I don’t know because if they don’t go back to school full time I will be stuck.
My dd isn’t at school yet - she should start in September and her preschool hasn’t returned. Ds is year 7. The age gap makes it hard too.
I feel as if my head is going to explode.

Lie, sorry.

Hope you manage to get some time alone.

Well if it is so easy and "time off" then he can have "time off" with them one day whe he isn't working surely? What would happen if you got up one morning and went out for the day by yourself?

Two days to himself playing golf - where do all these twats come from?

Your DH is a selfish arse. Honestly, if he thinks you have so much time off (hah) and it's so easy that you don't deserve a break, then why does he have such an issue with taking them for a bit and letting you relax? Because he only thinks of himself, that's why. Does he ever get up with them in the morning? Do bedtime with them? I bet not. Honestly it's not surprising you need a break, hope he sees bloody sense and realised how selfish and ridiculous he is being.

If you get to do what you want when you're at home alone with the kids, then surely you going out and doing something on your own on Sunday should not affect him at all, as he will still be able to do whatever he wants when he is alone with the children. Why is it different for him?

He sounds controlling. I think you need to just tell him you are going out rather than ask / suggest, which implies it is up to him. Does not sounds like a very balanced relationship, more like he is in charge

No - on Sunday he’s often in bed until noon.

Ok, so on Sunday just could just say, I'm going out for a bit, see you later and he will need to get up and deal with the DC then. Don't let him walk all over you.

For a while, my DH did not understand I needed alone time. (am a SAHM) i started doing this and it became more usual with time.