Under His sausage, blessed be the alcohol, ak47s and online deliveries

[PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock]

And over,and under, to the left a bit ,to the right , ahhh right there! That's the spot!

Just keep killing...killing...killing

And breathing, and laughing, and moaning and ranting.

We ran out of soldiers and escaped the clap.
We cried and laughed and did silly crafts.
We analysed dogging and penis whips.

Assholes, plump vags , shit deliveries and hexing.

What mayhem will we discover next?

The web is dark and full of horrors... as well as faithful bananians marching valiantly over the hill to sit on benches and eat crisps.

Carry on my weary fluffballs of doom!

Meanwhile....the frothers just keep on frothing.

People who aren’t quite getting it... (138 Posts)

Couldn't resist a teensy little snipe.

I swear to god (blessed be the almighty and all that) I can't believe we are living in a society where we are being watched for walking outside. When this year started I honestly didn't think we would be living in a world like this

@lilac - dress like this. No one will stop you.

Willow still no flour in my ends. Eurgh. Right. Never mind. No scones for us. I have a dodgy left side and occasionally my hand/arm just goes woohoo lets go a bit wonky. Meh. Beer in the garden then.

Pringle lol!

I doubt I’d be allowed on a bus like that, clearly going for exercise.

Just realised nature reserve may be taped off and full of cameras anyway.

Staying off the other threads today. Sorry if I spam this one. Just got into a barney with an idiot on Facebook. Staying away from that now, too.

I actually created a twitter account to find like minded people

One of them has just mentioned “Covid derangement syndrome”. I’m so nicking that 😂

I'm raging as well... this time it was racism not frothers. People suck...

Crikey they are all out in force today:
ageism
racism
people are stupid I know better
yadda yadda yadda
wrong statistics/maths/science
policing shopping

Its all soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo tedious now.

That thread you mentioned Pink think it was only the 3rd post before someone mentioned all her 'elderly' neighbours were outside often and she wondered if they all had dementia which meant they didnt understand!! Do people not hear whats in their head as they type?

Well, I have cheered myself up. Just decimated the neighbourhood (again) by power-hosing the front drive (again) and cheerfully waving at people who were on their daily hour free from prison in the sun.

DC is sharpening the axe and about to start the rhythmical melody of chopping firewood, which is the antitdote to The Clap in our house. If they can bang bloody pots and pans, then we can chop firewood.

This afternoon will end with Somerset Cider and a chiminea. I am sure dinner will be made at some point.

I have decided to be cheery and happy and wavy whenever I leave the house and am taking it as a mission to kill interact from an appropriate distance with everyone I meet as I am officially DONE with "social" distancing. It has turned everyone into a paranoid mess.

Time to start being human again, even if it's from 6 feet away.

Of course, it goes without saying that if no one else is around, I won't be waving and smiling like a maniac. Not doing that again. The dogs said I was embarrassing them.

Princess Good gravy you will frighten them all to death!
Meh, dogs wag their tails all the time, nobody can be that happy 24/7 so they have no room to speak! Tell them to like it or lump it.

But hey maybe you should move here, we all nod or say 'hello' or 'morning' if we meet someone and just call it errr 'normal'!

Just back from a happy afternoon on the allotment and not a bit of bunting in sight.

DH is about to start the barbecue which will no doubt offend all those posters who believe that any sort of garden activity should get approval in triplicate from the entire neighborhood.

Oh just remembered!

Line up, line up! Flaps at the ready! Inspection time!!

I do find it quite naughty and rude, all these bbqs and cakes and not even a mention or crumb of an offering for your yellowest leader.

Hmpf!

Have a cheese and ham hock muffin your Eminence.

Nah, now that I had to point it out I don't want them anymore. 😂😂😂

Poor OH cooked some lamb. Like I said I have issues with lamb, so he opened all windows, shut the door where I am, and now that he's done he's eating in the garden.

Actually I was going to post the photo earlier, but it wouldnt let me on my phone. Its been doing that off and on for weeks some days its ok some days it wont let me apparently I am not the only one on here with that trouble. So I had to email the bloody photo to myself , save it on my pc and post it! All that effort and you dont want one!!!! Hurrumph.

All the more for us me then, nom nom

Oh ok then, if you tried so hard , I guess I could muster some excitement for baked carby yumyums.

There's a thread about why would you drink when there's children in the house. I think many do it BECAUSE there's children in the house

Crow - that’s exactly what I thought!

I look after a friend’s DC in more normal circumstances. I couldn’t when they were little.

I’ll never forget, the mum tried to do me a birthday lunch when the kids were 2 and 4. It was such a horrible day, I had to get drunk within an hour of arriving - not hard as I don’t drink much, or didn’t before lockdown- and I was actually feeling hungover on the train home.

All I remember of my friend’s lovely efforts at lunch is crying children who wouldn’t eat their veg....got told off for spoiling Auntie
Lilac’s birthday....at which point drunk Auntie
Lilac said “I don’t care if you eat your fucking veggies, I just want to enjoy my birthday” at which point we all just moved on to cake.

I wonder if the 4 year old might remember it as The Day Auntie Lilac Saved Us From Vegetables.

That's like asking why are you bleeding on your period.