Under His sausage, blessed be the alcohol, ak47s and online deliveries

[PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock]

And over,and under, to the left a bit ,to the right , ahhh right there! That's the spot!

Just keep killing...killing...killing

And breathing, and laughing, and moaning and ranting.

We ran out of soldiers and escaped the clap.
We cried and laughed and did silly crafts.
We analysed dogging and penis whips.

Assholes, plump vags , shit deliveries and hexing.

What mayhem will we discover next?

The web is dark and full of horrors... as well as faithful bananians marching valiantly over the hill to sit on benches and eat crisps.

Carry on my weary fluffballs of doom!

No I ended up supermarket shopping my choice though.

I am having it Friday.

Its like some people need to be told what to do and have their lives dictated and enjoy it.

And a lot of peolle like the feeling of telling others what they must do and if they don't they are morally corrupt.

Its fucking scary!

Yeah, I have slight (big) issues with being told what to do.

I can (mostly)handle it at work , but I'm one of those stubborn twats that would stop breathing if someone demanded that I take a deep breath in.

I was a delight to teach.

I'm like this little guy

He said 'yes'. It is really only a possibility but even to be asked is a plus!

Oh dear lord about enforced fun for VE day! I shall go and hide on my allotment.

Erm I'm not doing all that VE Day stuff!! How weird. Not everyone has a garden

I read on the government site that if you're going to enjoy an alcoholic drink on an evening and you have kids, then one adult in the household has to abstain. Umm... have they forgotten some households only have one adult?? Equally can you imagine telling your OH it's not their night to have a drinky

Gnome I hope your allotment is appropriately decorated with themed bunting and you plan to have a cucumber sandwich while listening to Churchill.

Show us the moral fibre!!

Crow because I forgot(sorry) , your ex is so full of shit he could double as a PortaLoo.

Princess ** I'll make a meme of that and next time he spouts crap I'll just send him that

Well done Ds Gnome.

I aint doing a picnic my front 'garden' is crappy gravel! I dont mind a 2 min silence in my iwn home but not performance silence.

My work is doing something for VE Day but its for the staff and pretty good....free pie, mash, peas and gravy for lunch for 3 days😀 now thats my kind of celebrating.
(Alternatives are available still free) 😄 will make sure i get mine on Sat. Dont usually bother eating at work😀

My lovely killers

What do you think about VE Day, will the police be out in force?

I don’t have anyone who would meet me locally but still debating hanging out in the shade of the nature reserve for as long as I don’t need the loo

Would have to take the bus.

I can’t believe government think they should police VE Day celebrations in terms of how much adults drink. I feel like a VE Day celebration should happen after lockdown so the people who would have had a parade etc can have one.

Well my ds1 is now 18 and doesnt drink so he is the designated non drinker in this house 😄 he doesnt drive either but meh!

I cant even drink properly on friday to toast it as i am in work earlier on sat😞

Smile I'm the only adult here now DD1 and DS have moved out. I never get too squiffy anyway and usually wait til DD2 is in bed, but according to the government guidelines I shouldn't be allowed a drink at all

Does anyone have a link to these guidelines please?

What the actual fuck! Why do they need to tell people how to drink.

Do they normal issue this guidence the rest of the year? Or is this there way of saying there are growing problems in homes but they don't want to say it?

Have we got a huge increase in cases where parents are getting so drunk they are unconscious and leaving kids unattended?

What is happening? Why we are all having to be told what we can and can't do, even in our own homes.

The bloody nhs clap thread. Apparently, I am against clapping and it makes me angry that people do.

Despite me saying my problems is with epople who thinks it makes them better than others.

Not once have I said, people shouldn't clap.

Why do people believe you only care if you do it in public.

2 weeks ago, my dad said they staff were struggling to get drinks on the covid ward. I run the snack hut at the kids rugby club. We took up all the stick of water and fizzy drink we had for them. They wanted to know our Facebook detail to thank us. I declined. I dont need them sharing me all over Facebook.

But I assume it doesn't count, because I didnt let everyone know how wonderful me and the head coach are?

Does that mean the water didn't exist?

Have people forgotten that before the Great Plague of 2020 most people managed to be grown ups without constant chivvying?

I will drink copious amounts of wine on Friday night because it is Friday.

My allotment will be a bunting free zone. One of my elderly allotment neighbours will sing cheerful songs because that is what he does normally (on Sundays he sings hymns).

I think it still exists and I bet it tastes better without fanfare.
As to VE Day, well, it's also my birthday so I think I will be baking cake.

I ordered some yarn yesterday to finish my needlepoint project. I am not sure of my count on that one. But the needlepoint is soothing and really helps with the depression. I have gone all flat. But I have seeds to plant and children to cuddle.

I have tried to homeschool but I have failed miserably. None of them will do any schoolwork. I think they just don't see the point plus they are very clear about different spheres. They are home not at school so why do schoolwork?

Anyone else in this boat or a similar one?

morning murdering yellow fruits

Isay I am having a constant struggle trying to get ds2 (12) to do school work. It is really stressful. Some days I make myself be quite relaxed about it all and not stress over it, but every now and then I have a wobble worrying about him being massively behind when he goes back. Its made worse by the school posting so many examples of all the fabulous work kids are submitying.

Busy day at work again for me.
Looking forward to tomorrow fora break. We will most defintiely NOT be following any prscribed timetable of celebration - that can just F**ck right off! We will be getting fish and chips for tea though form newly reopened chip shop

Few deliveries arriving today to keep up my kill count whilst Im out working.

Morning fellow reprobates!! My kill count is fairly low this week I think (only one bike ride so far) but I did make a long journey (95 miles each way) yesterday to collect my eldest from base. He's just come back from a 3 month deployment in a warzone so I was really wanting someone to stop me and ask if my journey was necessary!! Every single gantry sign was set to "ESSENTIAL TRAVEL ONLY STAY HOME SAVE LIVES" although it was very nice to make that trip with such limited traffic.
when we got off the motorway and drove through a town he thought it was hilarious to see people queuing 2 metres apart to get into Asda! Suspect he will find quite a few things hilarious over the coming days

ISay how old are they and what does their school timetable look like ?

@Blobby10 glad your son is back safe and sound. Everything must seem so surreal to him.

Thanks @PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock I think he is in for a few laughs over the coming days! He was just desperate for a proper cup of tea and a beer - guess what beer he chose? Corona

They are 9, just 7 and just 6. School gave them packs and they do have logins. But school assumes everyone has tablets. We don't. We have my ancient laptop.